As consistency goes, we've had a pretty good run with these still-active band catalogue rankings. Groups like Spoon, Wilco, Sloan, or Queens of the Stone Age simply don't release records that are widely despised by either critics or fans. You can quibble their more recent output doesn't ascend to the heights of the earlier stuff (particularly true with QOTSA) but there's a steady baseline (see what I did there) of quality those bands always achieve throughout their considerable output.
On the other side of that guitar pick, you've got Weezer. A group bombarded with seemingly infinite criticism and dismissal since their second album was released almost thirty years ago... with a sizeable chunk of that directed venom well earned. This is a career that has alienated fans by both going too artsy, and by selling out for bland Top 40 stadium rock... and both are indeed somehow true. Quite an achievement.
Looking over their albums, totaling sixteen now (we're including the weird compilation, Death To False Metal, unfortunately) is like peering through a scrapbook filled with a whole bunch of random mementos and abstract fragments that only fit together in this specific context. Such stylistic variance is going to entrench fans on various sides of arguments: lots of people just dismiss anything after the second album, once original bassist Matt Sharp had departed... while others have stuck with them all the way, enduring (some even cherishing) the carnival ride Weezer has been since the millennium turned.
Despite those hangers-on, Weezer have a bunch of records that are just despised universally... with enough flickers of "maybe they're back? Please?" sprinkled in here and there to tease fans all the more. After over a dozen records of this, I think one thing we can say for certain about Weezer is that Rivers Cuomo never met a melodic idea he didn't like enough to try to make a song out of... "try" being the key term there.
Rivers is... well, not your typical idea of a "rock star" or frontman. Not many rockers decide to disappear and go study at Harvard during a peak of their fame. Much of these reclusive and, for lack of a better term, nerdy inclinations are a significant part of Cuomo's songwriting. Where rock front-men of the 1970's/1980's portrayed themselves as living Adonises promising heavenly delights, here's this geeky-looking short fella with glasses singing about his romantic awkwardness and preference to hide away as a guitar hero in his garage. This was a downright bizarre way to portray oneself in 1994: even contemporaries like Cobain, Vedder or Corgan brought varying degrees of jaded anger to their introspective soul-bearing... Rivers Cuomo just isn't the type to gladly reveal that kind of intensity.
He is one of those types of musicians that will record any and every idea that comes to him, leading to his seemingly endless archives of demos and unreleased songs that only occasionally trickle through into Weezer. Cuomo has released some of these home recordings in his Alone series, which does indeed have some wicked tunes (even one covering "Little Diane" with the members of Sloan!). Still, there definitely is an attitude of "people like this, lets do more of it" sentiment within Rivers and as a result the band, which has left many fans lamenting why some of these great* Alone songs are left to wallow away in shabbily recorded semi-obscurity while lesser songs take the spotlight on the major releases. Even then, it's unlikely the infamously shy Cuomo would've released as much of his archive as he has if the initial response to those demos hadn't been so overwhelmingly positive.
*Seriously though, "Walt Disney", or "My Brain Is Working Overtime" not being more well known... just so unfortunate.
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The rise to stardom for Weezer was relatively rapid. Cuomo had moved from Boston to Los Angeles in 1990 and through mutual friend Pat Finn quickly connected with drummer Patrick Wilson, guitarist Jason Cropper, Karl Koch (eventually the band's historian, webmaster and unofficial fifth member) and bassist Matt Sharp. The foursome officially formed as Weezer in 1992 and recorded a demo called The Kitchen Tape (so named because the drums were recorded in a kitchen), many of the songs on which would eventually be reworked and find their way onto their debut full length record.
Grunge music was still dominating the rock radio airwaves in 1992... but the Kitchen Tape demo managed to attract the attention of Geffen Records anyhow. By mid-1993 the group was in a recording studio in New York City working on their proper debut. Except, there was a problem: Cropper's girlfriend had become pregnant and his erratic behaviour had become a distraction as a result. Fearing chemistry and image issues, the band fired Cropper and brought in Brian Bell on guitar as a replacement, knowing him from other Los Angeles groups.
Bell's guitar doesn't actually appear on the debut (Cuomo re-recorded all of Cropper's parts himself) but he is still listed in the album's liner notes (and is on the cover of course) while Cropper does have a writing credit for the intro of "My Name Is Jonas". Sort of funny how such a famous and iconic guitar lick that opens arguably Weezer's most famous record is accredited to somebody who wasn't even in the band anymore upon the song's release.
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As mentioned above, Weezer have sixteen full length studio records and we're going to rank them all. There's also the SZNS project, a quartet of EPs released in 2022 that are all thematically connected... which I'm also going to include on the list but as one whole record.
This is a clinically insane discography, with so many moments of "what the bleeping holy hell are they thinking here?" and others where the ambition is at least admirable but doesn't quite match up with the results. They're not really an "album band" but they sure are a concept one... and I've gained an appreciation for when it sounds like they're at least actually trying to do something interesting even if it doesn't totally work.
It's when they get lazy, or shamelessly fish for a Top 40 hit of the day, that the band reaches their unforgivable nadir. Speaking of that, we have to start at the bottom and fair warning... it's a very long climb out of here. I've done this to myself of course... the world has turned and left me here.
#17. Raditude (2009)
*1/2
Irredeemable. A pile of less than zero substance.
It's an aggravating listen, featuring some of the cringiest lyrics to ever leave Rivers Cuomo's mouth. Meanwhile the sound of the record plays out like a piece of sleek, soulless product. Having problematic producer Lukasz "Dr. Luke" Gottwald involved on the single "I'm Your Daddy" just adds to the overall sense of dated dreck populating this album.
Where the first half is heavy into pop-punk singing about partying and moshpits and malls (weren't these guys pushing 40 at the time?) the second half of the album just veers all over the place. "Love Is The Answer" with it's detour into Hinduism and sitar is so wildly out of step here (and this ain't "Within You Without You") while the ballads pass by as tedious overproduced melodrama. "In The Mall" at least salvages things as best it can near the end, bringing some riffage, actual punch and energy to an otherwise shiny plastic affair.
A horrible record that's even worse when you consider the version of "I Can't Stop Partying" on Cuomo's Alone II album is genuinely fantastic: featuring just Rivers on an acoustic guitar gives it such confessional desperation. Or, and I think we can all agree this is the winning move... you can just make the song a totally unserious poppy joke and bring in Lil Wayne to rap a verse because f**k you.
Raditude is bewildering in its suckitude (see what I did there) and don't ever listen to it. Even the cover is obnoxiously awful.
#16. Pacific Daydream (2017)
*1/2
Even if you absolutely love Weezer, you have to acknowledge they are an incredibly frustrating band. After several bad-to-frankly-shit releases in the mid-to-late 2000s (a period I'm dubbing the "Weezer Black Hole" from which no good songs can escape) they bounced back with a couple really good records following a moderate hiatus. How do you follow that? With Pacific Daydream, that's how. Weezer's attempt to make a modern dance club record... and what a spectacular failure at that.
The band is aiming so hard at the Top 40 charts here it legitimately hurts, with some of the absolute worst half-assed choruses in a discography littered with plenty. Club/hip hop beats and Weezer mix about as tastily as ginger ale and battery acid... the only reason this album isn't at the bottom of the list is because I find it's awfulness far more interesting than the sheer obnoxiousness of Raditude.
They tried something different here and certainly succeeded at that: this doesn't sound at all like any other Weezer album. Problem is that these "different" songs are completely terrible, lacking any kind of life or honest feeling to them. Lyrically this might be Rivers Cuomo at his absolute worst, with lines like "I'll be missing you like oxygen" (huh?) or "it's a hip hop world/and we're the furniture" from the just plain awful "Beach Boys". Meanwhile, "Weekend Woman" might just be the most painful thing the group has ever put on a record... loaded with agonizing fluff akin to bad Christmas music.
By rule apparently, every Weezer album, even these horrifically bad ones, have at least one okay-ish song. Here it's "Any Friend of Diane's" for me, which while sounding like it belongs on some teen drama television show from twenty years ago... at least it's catchy in a non-"get-this-crap-the-hell-out-of-my-head" way... unlike "Happy Hour" which just irritates me with it's cynical repetitiveness.
Yeah, Pacific Daydream is tepid, dated and oh so painfully sleek... giving it all an overbearingly cheesy, creatively vacuous atmosphere that is never fun or charming in its corniness. This is bad grocery store music.
#15. Weezer [Teal] (2019)
**
Seriously though. What was the freaking point of this? I don't mean the concept of it: Weezer deciding to unexpectedly record a bunch of famous 1980s hits is a very goofy move from a band that likes to revel in the goofy... you can look at it as purely a record for the fans and considering Weezer's stature I can respect that.
What I don't get at all are the arrangements of these covers: they're all nearly identical to the originals... the level of faithfulness beat for beat, note for note is staggering as Rivers is even impersonating these singers (not to mention Brian Bell's sketch comedy-like Ozzy impression on the "Paranoid" cover). To which I reiterate... what was the point of this? These versions are so alike to the original recordings and don't add or reinterpret anything new or interesting whatsoever.
For a song or two it is kind of amusing to hear the band perform some tunes you never really imagined Weezer trying (although these are the same dudes who covered "Unbreak My Heart" so anything is on the table I suppose). But as a full length listen, the quirk and harmless fun of the project fades very quickly. Switching out the string section for a wall of electric guitars on "Happy Together" should be a criminal offense, while since most of these are 1980s songs the sameness of Weezer doing them makes it all blend together to the point you'd much rather just listen to the much better original versions.
As for the One Song Rule... I'll give Weezer credit for actually doing "No Scrubs". It's not all that good a cover, not really... but it is at least amusing and Rivers does sing it like he's taking the assignment seriously. It even impressed Rozonda "Chili" Thomas to the point she came on stage and performed it live with the band.
Teal is offensive only in how safe and aggressively uninteresting the whole idea is. Like your local cover bar band went into a recording studio and played their usual set. Far more fun as a novelty, or as a way to introduce hardcore Weezer fans to a bunch of great songs they might not know, than as an actual listenable record.
#14. Death To False Metal (2010)
**
One reason the Weezer Black Hole is such a nadir for the band: the better songs are still incredibly forgettable. Death To False Metal fits that description for me: I didn't hate this record while listening to it, but it left such a minimal impression on me I can barely recall anything about it without checking my notes (what, do you expect me to listen to this junk again? Gimme a break).
Another problem with the Black Hole: Cuomo's lyrics are frequently dreadful... like he's forcing in ideas and references he really wants to say without considering (or caring) if they fit melodically, making so many of these songs clunky and awkward. His best strength is coming up with catchy hooks, that's a crucial part of Weezer's thing... but when the hooks aren't strong (or catching at all) the music sounds flat and (considering he's a middle aged man frequently singing about teenager problems) often pathetic.
Between 2008 to 2010 the band released four full length records and it shows: they're all pretty bad. It's almost like they had a writer's block and their solution to get out of it was to make as many songs as possible, much like a gambler continually doubling down despite not having the cards. Most of False Metal consists of outtakes from either Make Believe or Red, to which you're not exactly covering yourself in glory by missing the cut of those two particular records. If they'd condensed and combined the best songs from all four of these records between 2008-10 and focused instead on tightening a dozen of those up... you could maybe fish a serviceable Weezer album up from that swamp. Maybe.
Instead you've got a lazy haze of very forgettable power pop that isn't all that fun or pleasant to listen to, with Death To False Metal prime among those offenders. Rivers genuinely sings about picking up dog crap and looking at it under a microscope on "Autopilot"... if that doesn't say all you need to know about the quality of his ideas on display here, I don't know what does. Even the cover, which looks like some image a religious cult would use in a recruitment promo, is flat-out weird and disconcerting.
One Song Rule: the opener "Turning Up The Radio" is okay-ish power pop, with the story of how it came about far more interesting than any moment on this record. Rivers Cuomo will regularly engage with fans online and he commissioned several of them to write a song with him, resulting in "Turning Up The Radio" having songwriting credits split among seventeen different people. By far the coolest thing within a light-year of this grim full-length release.
#13. Weezer [Red] (2008)
**
The Red Album is really where the Weezer Black Hole began to suck everything in. The production is becoming sleek and commercial, Cuomo begins dropping modern pop culture references at random (which have not aged relevantly or well), the band is often trying to sound like Fall Out Boy for some reason and the heavy guitar hooks are pushed off to the side... making the hit singles sound cheap and annoying.
I'll confess "Pork and Beans" has grown on me... to the point I find it slightly charming in how dumb it is... but when I first heard it in 2008 I knew something was off here. This didn't sound like the Weezer I'd known (how little I knew what was soon to come).
In retrospect none of the weirder stuff on the Red Album surprises as much anymore, now that we've since seen Rivers and by extension the band veer down so many random weird left turns. Listening to their discography in chronological order however... it's striking how bizarre this album is within the context of what came before. Hearing Rivers Cuomo rap on a song will always be jarring (something I can never take seriously plus he simply isn't good at it) and like Raditude there's no logical progression from song to song... it's over-the-top emo rock one song and then quirky pop the next, not helped by how dated in the late 2000s all of it sounds.
Salvaging the record somewhat are a few decent tracks near the end (a hallmark of weak-to-mediocre Weezer albums seem to be that they hide the better songs in the second half). "Dreamin'" has a solid light hook and actually sounds like Weezer, the closer "The Angel and The One" has a grand feel and epic sound to it , while Brian Bell's "Thought I Knew" is the first time we hear somebody other than Rivers sing lead... an effective-ish change of pace.
Those moments help somewhat, but there's only so much a handful of decent songs can do. A lot of fans despise "Troublemaker" and while I agree hearing Cuomo's lyrics give off such a strutting vibe doesn't work... melodically it's okay (if obnoxiously overstaying its welcome). 'Meh' is really the highest praise I'll give anything on Red, which for the most part is filled with bad songs dialed up with too much of their own one lazy note. Considering as well how consistently irritating the lyrics are everywhere on this album... another Weezer record best ignored and turned the page on.
#12. Hurley (2009)
**1/2
Still trapped in the Weezer Black Hole, we've got the one where the cover is an extreme closeup of actor Jorge Garcia's face (with the record itself named/nicknamed for his 'Lost' character, in case you were wondering if this record is likewise as dated as the rest of this Weezer era).
Hurley isn't a good album... but it manages to be somewhat better than the terrible ones below it mostly because the band sounds like they're trying to make actual songs here and it's all a bit more cohesive (despite the actual recording sessions supposedly being rushed and chaotic). They still don't quite succeed at making something all that interesting: these tunes are far too polished and forgettable, but at least they aren't unbearable like so much else you find in the Weezer Black Hole.
It's a very pop-punky album (like they'd just heard Blink 182 for the first time) although Weezer for the most part do sound like Weezer again (the crunchy guitars are back!) rather than imitating their peers. They're really going for anthemic stadium rock a lot of the time here, which gives so much of the record a sense of trying way too hard for a hit. An album of empty calories, elevated by it having a morsel of soul to it but still a victim of the style over substance approach so common among bad Weezer releases.
One Song Rule: the closer "Time Flies" sounds absolutely like nothing else on the record, making it by default its best song! It has a bizarre production quirk to it, sounding like it's playing through a car radio that's driving out of range from the broadcasting station (or going through a long tunnel). Still, it's a fun little stomping folk tune that reminds a bit of the acoustic parts of Led Zeppelin III. By far the most compelling moment on an otherwise forgettable record.
#11. Weezer [Black] (2019)
**1/2
We've thankfully entered the tier of Weezer albums that aren't particularly good... but don't offend for the most part. Neutral and easily forgotten.
As though sensing this sentiment, Weezer released the Black Album in an attempt to make a record as varied and unforgettable as they could. They succeeded at half of that: there's a lot of melodic variety to these songs no doubt, but seeing as this is the record I most consistently forget even exists... yeah. This one ain't matching Metallica or Jay-Z.
A lot of Black is pretty rough ("cut me like a piece of cake" has to be one of the worst choruses I've ever heard) or just doesn't sound like Weezer at all... like when they go full Maroon 5 with "Living In L.A.". There's also a bit of The Police happening here, with Rivers' inflection of "So Lonely" in a chorus, or the band itself in "Too Many Thoughts". "Byzantine" brings a soft cha cha cha vibe, then you have the closer "California Snow" with it's heavy doom, robotic hip hop beat and enormous sound (I almost expected Lil Wayne to pop in again)... it's all pretty terrible sure but also a strangely fun kind of terrible, like dumb harmless schlock.
That's one thing with Weezer: they've done so many things just for the sake of trying/doing them that it becomes very tricky to determine when their intentions are all that sincere or not... and while their very worst songs can be both either too serious or too jokey, sometimes they hit a bizarre sweet spot of both which "California Snow" and "Livin' In L.A." kinda do.
The trend of the better songs being in the back half of the record continues, as my exact initial thoughts after the first couple songs were "oh no, they're really bad again". There's a lot of that exhausted 'trying too hard to be young and cool' stuff you find among the worst of Weezer (you guys are almost fifty now, come on) and many of these choruses squander decent verse melodies via sounding so forced and jammed in there. Referencing Joan Baez and Netflix in the same verse for instance is another case of Cuomo trying way too damn hard to seem clever and relevant (it's pretty rare that a Weezer song with such specific references is ever a good one).
Overall Black is not a bad attempt at sounding sleek and cool (it certainly works way better than Pacific Daydream) and the musical variety here feels far more natural than the usual "throw crap at the sewer wall" so many of the really dreadful Weezer albums drown in. Alas, there aren't a lot of actually good "songs" here and the over-glossed production makes it near impossible to make any kind of lasting personal connection with this record.
#10. Make Believe (2005)
**1/2
This is where the good Starship Weezer steers towards the Black Hole, only for them to become it. Here come the lazy guitar hooks, the bad rhymes, a change of direction more into Top 40 stadium friendly pop songs than walls of edgy rocking guitars. "Beverley Hills" being such a big song surely must've helped encourage this ("Hey! People really like this simple chord singalong stuff") resulting in what we soon saw when Red and Raditude came out afterwards.
Strangely, the rest of the record sounds nothing like the clap-along KISS/Def Leppard homage of "Beverley Hills" (seriously though the "Beverley Hills" riff is the exact same as the chorus of "Pour Some Sugar On Me"... Cuomo does love himself some interpolation). There's a whole lot of emo rock on here, a whole lot of soul-searching like on another single "Perfect Situation" (a song I've really never liked at all). The spirit of this album spends a lot of time wallowing in itself but reaching little of consequence or conclusion.
The painfully lame moments are countered by two terrific songs to close the album: the pleasantly mellow left turn "Freak Me Out" and the very 1970s "Haunt You Every Day" which still marinates in melodrama like the so much of the rest of Make Believe but at least it brings some epic power pop sounds to it. Something with actual feeling rather than bland whining.
An overstuffed record (and a harbinger of worse things to come) but on its own merits entirely passable. I'm not nearly as harsh on it as Pat Finnerty is (though he makes several excellent points in his typically humorous way).
#9. SZNS (2022)
***
Throughout this ranking thus far I've been very stingy of my praise towards Weezer's commendable artistic ambitions: this is a band now entirely unafraid to attempt a concept whether or not the result is an eye-rolling misstep on their part.
Credit where credit is due, SZNS is an extremely interesting project on paper: four EPs (released in seasonal succession) each representing one of the seasons. If that reminds you of a certain 18th century Italian composer's most famous work you're certainly not alone, as the entire project is filled with instrumental passages of Vivaldi as a sort of framework to thematically tie the whole thing together.
It's 28 songs long and naturally, this being modern Weezer, a huge handful of them feel underwritten and rather samey. They do generally capture the mood of each season on each individual EP/section however: Spring has an undercurrent of hopefulness and the possibilities of new love, Summer brings plenty of scorching hot walls of guitars, Autumn a tone of melancholy and soul searching (which certainly pairs well with the old Baroque composer) and Winter a sense of chilly hibernation... although this final part really does feel like where the band ditched the idea and so just sounds like typical Weezer.
As a project I like it way more as an idea than as actual music, since most of these songs leave very little impression. None of them are really flat-out terrible either though: it's very Weezer-by-the-numbers, which while not amounting to a whole lot for me personally, probably is more enjoyable to a bigger fan of their usual thing.
#8. Van Weezer (2021)
***
Despite the name, no this is not Weezer doing a record of Van Halen covers (which as Teal proves you can never be too careful, anything is on the table for these guys).
Cuomo, who again never met a melodic hook he couldn't borrow, utilizes a ton of interpolation on this record... whether using the famous "Crazy Train" guitar intro for "Blue Dream" or The Travelling Wilburys' "Handle With Care" vocals as a pre-chorus for "Sheila Can Do It". Sometimes he does these things subtly enough to truly make them his own... then other times (such as the case of "Blue Dream") it's just so damn obviously that iconic lick that you simply can't meet the song separately on its own merit.
That said, Van Weezer, while extremely hit-or-miss, is a mostly decent power pop record. Lots of catchy melodies and heavy guitars, the (designed to be) sing-along choruses don't feel as forced as they do on Weezer's awful outings... there's an overall feeling of the band just letting loose and rocking out some simple tunes without any false grand pretenses. "All The Good Ones" and "Hero" are legitimately fun and catchy.
It's a bit lacking in how modern Weezer struggles so much to make a song that has both a killer verse and a killer chorus... but after all the dreck deeper in this catalogue I'll happily take something that's just okay. Plus the acoustic closer, "Precious Metal Girl", is indeed soft and fabulous. One of the most naturally fitting album finales in the entire discography.
#7. Weezer [Green] (2001)
***
For many, the beginning of the end. In reality, the band was already nearly toast and this was their second beginning.
After 1996 Weezer went on hiatus for years as Rivers Cuomo, unsettled by the negative reception of Pinkerton, went back to New England to study at Harvard and play in various side bands. When they reconnected to work on a new album in 1998, the sessions accomplished very little and founding bassist Matt Sharp quit the band to instead focus fully on his group The Rentals.
Discouraged, the remaining members all went their separate ways again while Cuomo shut himself away further, writing and recording dozens of home demos that would eventually find their way into his Alone collections. All this time however, Pinkerton was gaining a strong cult following and it's critical reputation was being reassessed. In 2000 Weezer again regrouped, with new bassist Mikey Welsh, and played several low key shows throughout Los Angeles under the alias "Goat Punishment" ensuring the audience would mostly be longtime fans who got the reference (I sure don't).
After more success playing larger festivals (Cuomo had initially feared the audience would throw stuff at them in disgust) the time came to head back to the studio once more and attempt recording a new album again. Ric Ocasek of The Cars, who had produced their debut, returned in that same role and helped steer the band back in the direction of that very same record. Cuomo's lyrics were less personal, the guitar tones less dark and brooding, the hooks punchier. Even the album cover itself pays homage to that first release.
While a big deal at the time and producing multiple hit singles, Green still isn't that great an album because a lot of the songs just ain't that great. They're lively, there's some quality riffage... but this is definitely the moment Cuomo realizes he can write a song about anything, no matter how silly, add some basic power chords and put it on a Weezer record. None of this is particularly deep stuff and "Crab" especially is just way too dumb for me.
A lot of purists consider this to be Weezer's "sell out" record to which I wouldn't quite go that far... but this does strongly suggest that direction into their eventual sing-along stadium rock inclinations. Green's most important quality is as a comeback for Weezer themselves (and Cuomo especially) in discovering there was still a big audience for what they were doing and eager to hear more. Plus there are some good tunes hiding in here. "Hash Pipe" (which the record company squirmed at being a single) has that irresistible rumble (and Rivers odd descending pitch of singing the verses) "Glorious Day" brings some wonderful heaviness and of course "Island In The Sun" which still is one of my very favourite Weezer songs of all time. Such a catchy, pretty tune.
#6. OK Human (2021)
***1/2
Geez, these guys are infuriating.
After three bad-to-atrocious projects to close out the 2010s, Weezer drops this lush little record of songs Rivers Cuomo initially conceived of on piano with an orchestra... with the rest of the band jumping in when needed. It had been in the works for years previous to its release but the timing of things (such as the COVID pandemic) complicated the logistics of recording it.
There are just certain genres that don't suit Weezer's general sound and vibe. Hip hop or soft dance pop? Absolutely not. Orchestral pop rock? Somehow yes, they do pull this off... especially helped by Cuomo's lyrics going back into a matured introspective mode. This music comes across as thoughtful and considered, something I often can't say about Weezer... while very rarely do the touches of strings throughout the record sound overbearing or dramatically cheap.
I especially like when Cuomo's songs are about something more broad and relatable, like the loss of human interaction ("Screens") and his general sense of trying to accept who he is and his own often solitary ways ("Grapes of Wrath", "Playing My Piano", "All My Favourite Songs"). None of it ever gets all that dark or bleak... the vibe of these songs fits more a long evening walk heavy with introspection rather than anything desperate.
It doesn't work every time on OK Human, but it does more often than not and it's just so refreshing to hear this exceptionally talented musician now in his early 50s sound as thoughtful and worldly as he does here. I'm not sure this is a direction Weezer could go in permanently... none of these songs really rock all that much and that will always be the best trick in their bag... but as a one-off experiment this is certainly one of their very best.
#5. Maladroit (2002)
****
A lot like Green, only so much better. The guitars are heavier and crunchier, the melodies grittier, the singles catchier ("Keep Fishin'" is just irresistibly fun, the video features Muppets fercryingoutloud!) and the songs in general just have more dynamic "oomph" to them. It's like Green was the easily digestible reintroduction appetizer for the masses (that record is extremely short) now here comes Maladroit as a main course to really rip rock your socks off, nailing the power pop of that late 90s/early 2000s with songs like "Possibilties", "Slob", and the excellent "Slave" bringing considerable noisy punch. There are moments it slows down ("Burndt Jamb" with it's light ska touch) but for the most part the band is revving full speed ahead.
Maladroit is the first release with the complete current lineup of Weezer, as Mikey Welsh (who'd replaced Matt Sharp) had to leave the group during the Green tour because of severe drug and personal problems (Welsh would sadly overdose in 2011). Scott Shriner came aboard in the early stages of the recording process and has been playing the four string for Weezer ever since.
This is also the first record wherein Cuomo (and to a lesser extent the band) takes full control on the production side, with Cuomo releasing several of the demos onto online Weezer forums to gauge fan responses (with mixed results, as he would on occasion clash with said responses... even rewriting the lyrics of "Space Rock" as a testament of this particular frustration). The album title itself was indeed suggested by a fan in this forum.
Sadly as a record Maladroit sits very much in the shadow of their famed commercial comeback, which is a shame since it is superior in so many ways. Maybe a song or two too long (the assault of heavy simple guitar chords does bleed together after a while) but for any fan of Weezer at their straight on heaviest, metal-y-est... Maladroit is a hard record to top in that regard. A very good one.
#4. Everything Will Be Alright In The End (2014)
****
Weezer have had two (possibly a third at the current moment) long breaks in their discography. First after Pinkerton was critically panned and Rivers Cuomo faced a music existential crisis... and a second one in the early 2010s because frankly they'd been completely sucking for a while.
After hitting a creative wall with a grand concept, Cuomo took some time on a meditative retreat and returned with some new ideas for a classic Weezer album. Ric Ocasek was brought back one last time to produce, helping the band again rediscover where they came from and "keep things serious" according to Shriner. Cuomo used some of his original ideas for the record as a narrative framework (the closing "Futurescape Trilogy" in particular) and the final result was Everything Will Be Alright In The End, known affectionately as EWBAITE among fans hoping to save themselves a mouthful.
It's not a perfect comeback ("Back To The Shack" is especially just a little too on the nose for me) but the duds are the exceptions here. The band sounds interested in playing real power pop songs again, rather than the cynical radio hit chasing of the previous half-decade... and these tunes have actual themes and ideas to them. Lamenting lost bands, Cuomo revisiting his relationship with his father... even "Da Vinci" with it's clunky chorus is still a damn hummable hook. "Lonely Girl" is a wicked tune that wouldn't be out of place whatsoever on their debut, while the trilogy to close the album does thematically drift a bit but is still a fine way to finish things off. It's odd, like the album has two endings in a way ("Foolish Father" also works as a thematic finish).
When these guys are actually trying... when Cuomo is writing real songs rather than lazily throwing stuff at the wall... Weezer can still be a terrific rock band and that's the key thing EWBAITE proves. After a near decade trapped in a black hole of their own making, this was their long needed return to top form.
#3. Weezer [White] (2016)
****
An album that only works if it's summertime and sunny outside, because holy cow is this album a love letter to Southern California and the beaches of L.A. in particular.
By 2016 I'd essentially written off any new Weezer for a decade (thankfully missing most of that awful junk in the moment) until a close friend whose musical taste I trust implicitly told me to check out their new album, comparing it favourably to their 1990s heyday. I did and was pleasantly blown away: "hey, they're rocking again! Cool!"
Enter producer Jake Sinclair, a self-described superfan of the group who'd previously done some enginnering on Raditude (ouch). Sinclair and Cuomo began working together on a batch of new songs Cuomo had written about his experiences interacting with people along the Venice Beach coastline... with Sinclair wanting to push the band back to their older sounds (Cuomo naturally was more interested in making it hip and modern). The result was a record that even longtime Weezer critical skeptics admitted was their strongest album in nearly twenty years.
Weezer's White Album is very much a fairy tale ("existing in a fantasy world that's entirely the band's creation" in the words of noted music critic Stephen Thomas Erlewine) and as such you have to meet it on its own terms, its own ideas and notions of beach life in Southern California... in order to fully enjoy it. But the record does well in charming with its joyful exuberance, opening the gates and welcoming all in who want to join the party. The riffs are as bright and sunny as the scenes Cuomo is depicting and the band sounds fully alive, whether it be the buildup opener "California Kids" throwing you a lifeline, the call to adventure of "Wind In Our Sail", the switches in tempo of "L.A. Girlz"... almost every song on here is a winner.
Like any summer or day on the beach, it sadly has to come to an end and the closing "Endless Bummer" (co-written by Brian Bell) brilliantly captures that mood with it's understated melody and (somewhat sulky) lyricism.
It's a fantastic record, and while I don't love every song (I'd cut a couple) for the most part this is the best Weezer gets in the 21st century. Really the kind of album only they specifically could pull off as well. There's a wonderful wide-eyed innocence to all of this that only adds to it's appeal.
#2. Pinkerton (1996)
****1/2
For (I'd estimate) 99.9 percent of Weezer fans, casual like myself or more hardcore... which are their two best albums is an easy call. Which of those two is the best and which is second, that's where the debate really begins and it's a debate I've had many times... most oftentimes a disagreement with my assertion that Pinkerton gets the silver medal. Even though it's critical reputation has been completely reversed and is today widely regarded as a masterpiece now thirty years later... there is still divisiveness over it. A different kind of divisiveness!
I'll explain my reasoning after some backstory. Weezer's debut album and it's multiple chart topping singles had made the group an unexpected sensation. Rivers Cuomo however, like countless others finding themselves suddenly in the spotlight of fame, grew disillusioned by the impersonal nature of being such a big star performing from city to city. Combined with a lengthy hospital stay to correct a medical issue (he'd grown up with one leg shorter than the other) he began writing new songs in a much darker, more personally revealing frame of mind.
At first the idea for Weezer's follow up album was a rock opera named Songs From The Black Hole, featuring each member of the band as a character in the narrative. Demos were recorded for the project, some later appealing as Pinkerton B-sides or on Cuomo's Alone releases... but the concept was eventually abandoned as Cuomo was finding the idea "too whimsical" for what he wanted to say in that moment. A few Black Hole songs would be reworked for Pinkerton anyhow, though it has now become one of the more famous unfinished albums in rock history. Weezer's "Smile" if you were.
The reception to Pinkerton was nevertheless extremely negative upon its release: critics were taken aback and put off by the meanness and brutal honesty of Cuomo's lyrics and (foolishly) dismissed the album as such. Shattered by the negativity, it took Cuomo several years to even speak positively about the record, even as over time consensus re-evaluated it as it became influential within multiple genres (particularly emo-rock).
Which I think is, for me, where it falls short: the "emo" stuff, for lack of a better term. This is an album you need to be in a certain headspace for because, while it does mostly rock with the guitars and riffage, there's a lot of bleakness to what Rivers is singing about. Feeling isolated, impossible loves, general unsatisfaction, desperation for connection... it's all over this record and there aren't really any moments where things lighten up above the gloom even a little. There's no real angst or anger, unlike Grunge music earlier of the decade, just a general malaise and internal frustration.
That said, holy cow are there some great songs on here. "The Good Life" with it's nostalgic laments, "El Scorcho", "Pink Triangle" and it's doomed infatuation with a lesbian, "Across The Sea" which does seem a bit problematic, since Cuomo is singing about a teenage Japanese girl he wants to meet... ("I was a perverted hermit" he'd later describe himself during this era). Regardless, it's a fantastic song.
I think it's a matter of taste. I got into Weezer a bit later (early 20s) and Pinkerton is definitely the kind of album a misfit teenager would most latch onto. Musically I think it's truly excellent start to finish, but I don't have that same personal connection to it that perhaps others do... people who went through those same things and had these songs along there with them to relate to.
#1. Weezer [Blue] (1994)
*****
One of the best (if not the) debuts of any power pop band of all time. A powerhouse album with unforgettable hooks, choruses, intros... and it has also aged relatively well in the thirty years since its release. Yea,h it sounds 1990s as hell... but that doesn't take anything away from the songs which are still great. Alternative rock's answer to the murkiness of grunge: still bringing heavy guitars but also some wonderfully light melodicism as well.
Weezer had existed for barely two years when the Blue Album hit the shelves. Their Kitchen Tape demo EP had attracted enough attention to get a record deal and despite wanting to produce their debut themselves (which they later did for Pinkerton), the label insisted they find somebody outside the band. In came Cars co-frontman Ric Ocasek, whom steered the band towards a "brighter" guitar tone while Matt Sharp and Cuomo imposed various rules on the recording sessions to build a consistent sound. It was during this time original guitarist Jason Cropper was fired due to his erratic behavior, with Brian Bell eventually replacing him (only Bell's backing vocals appear on the record however).
Almost everybody at some point has heard the hits from this album: "Buddy Holly" with it's Happy Days music video, "My Name Is Jonas", "Say It Ain't So", "The Sweater Song" etc. Yet it's the deeper cuts that truly resonate with me more: "No One Else" and its tale of a controlling asshole boyfriend, "In The Garage" as Cuomo's ode to geekiness, "Holiday" with it's killer head banging hook, and then "The World Has Turned And Left Me Here" which is just so, so damn great. I always like to think, considering the sequencing of the album, that "World Has Turned" is the aftermath comeuppance the jerk boyfriend from "No One Else" gets.
If not for "Surf Wax America" (it's just okay) you're looking at a near perfect rock album here. There's a fun harmless infectous joy to so much of this record, the wall of guitars are both blistering and adeptly played throughput the mix... and these songs are just so endlessly revisitable. A landmark album in pop punk, rock, power pop you name it... and in my mind one of the very best records of the 1990s. Weezer have had plenty of moments approaching or even matching what's on the Blue Album, but nothing ever quite surpassing it.
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