Carter's Time In The Rain

Under the fortunately placed canopy of the Beacher Cafe, young Carter was trapped by thunderous rainfall with somewhere important to be for the fourth significant time in his young life.

The first such time was coincidentally in the same area of town, back several years earlier when Carter was a teenager. He had agreed to meet a girl he was sweet for on a date at a coffee shop near her house in that same neighbourhood, next to the old Fox Theatre. But the intense rain rinsed that plan away quickly. Protecting himself from the downpour in a streetcar shelter, Carter borrowed a cell-phone from an impatient transit passenger and called his potential squeeze, informing her of the situation. Instead of irritation, which younger Carter expected, she was extremely impressed by his 'courage' to even adventure to her part of town at all. Her parents were away for the night and so she invited Carter over to her house as a substitute for their failed date. It was perhaps the most lucid and enjoyable nights of younger Carter's life, as he and his 'potential squeeze' at the time became fast friends and planted a friendship the older Carter often kissed the stars for.

His second significant moment of being trapped by rainfall was not as happily memorable for Carter. He was now a few years removed from high school and eager for new opportunities. After two months of hard work he'd managed to clinch an interview at a high end marketing company on Bay Street. It was a lucrative position, though challenging, but one that would allow him to move away from his parents home and out on his own within a month or two. He spent three days prepping himself for any potential questions, didn't drink anything remotely smelly for a week and got a solid nights sleep so to wake up three hours before he'd have to leave.
And so he did, fixing himself a quick dirty breakfast of fried eggs and leftover french fries. He walked out the door with a grin stronger than Heath Ledger's Joker (a character he would later sympathize facial expressions with). The rainfall began instantly once he left his parent's house on Bayview. The streets quickly flooded, buses stopped running, and poor young Carter was left to stand under a crappy bus shelter (which was crappy enough to leak drops of water onto his head) while the minutes of his dream job ticked before him in a flash, and then disappeared. Numbers and incompetent bureaucracy... poor Carter fell into a spell (fueled by particular intoxicants) for a period that shattered his belief in positive outcomes happening to him.

The third significant moment was many years later. Carter had rented a basement spot in East York (kinda Cosburn and Linsmore) and was eager to meet a lady he was sweet on at a pizzeria. He walked a solid hour west to get there, paranoid that transit would let him down again, only for a heavy rain to assault him once he locked his front door. He attempted to trek through it for several minutes but it was too much, so he took shelter under a gazebo in a parkette near Danforth and Pape. There was an older gentleman in tattered clothing there as well.

'This is quite a downpour! Don't see too many like this anymore...'

'Yep, that's for sure...' Carter replied, scrolling through his device to find an album to play.

'Yep yep... a real storm it is... you by chance grow up in the city, my boy?'

'What? Um, yeah. I did. Sure.'

'City boy! Yep yep. Grew up in Richmond Hill myself, moved here at sixteen to make it big! Yep yep.'

'And how's that working out for you?' Carter asked, casually but with cruel sarcasm.

'Sometimes life doesn't happen the way you expect... it's just a bend in the story, is all.'

The man stepped out from the shelter of the gazebo and into the heavy downpour. Realizing his rudeness, Carter called out to the man to come back but it was too late, he had disappeared into the haze of the storm.

Now, it was nearly two years later and Carter was once again trapped by rainfall, with somewhere important to be and someone important to see. But this time, he didn't feel any agonizing impatience. This time, he would let the rain tell the story.

The Dip In The Road

There was a time of night he would always go out for a walk, a specific hour for his specific path, with a specific jacket to warm him from the imprecise breezes. Often these walks would last no longer than ten minutes, no less than five. There was never any real destination, he would simply step out in his specific jacket, walk up his street until he reached a dip in the road and hastily turn back. He never considered venturing beyond this dip, instead happy to remain a creature of eccentric habit.

One evening he had returned from one of his repetitive strolls and discovered a hole in his specific jacket. It was the pocket that normally contained his watch, and sure enough it had surely fallen out at some point. Instead of heading back out again to retrieve it, he was reluctant to disrupt his specific routine. He would wait until the next evening to search for it, despite the relative certainty that the watch would then be gone by then. 

The next evening, at the specific hour wearing his specific jacket, he set out on his stroll. He came upon the dip in the road after the usual allotment of time and a few metres ahead was something shiny by the curb of the road: his watch. Forgetting his habits, he went forward for the watch, stepping into a section of the street he'd never tread upon before. He picked up the watch and noticed both the hands were rotating erratically. Trying to wind it back did nothing, so he put it in the pocket of his specific jacket and turned back for his home. The watch fell through the hole in the jacket and landed back on the curb of the street. He picked it up again, saw the hands were still erratic, and put the watch back into the same pocket, only for it to fall through and land on the curb again. 

The watch never stayed in the jacket, the hour never changed, and he never left the dip in the road. He repeated this exercise of disarray for eternity, having broken one of his precious habits yet unable to break the other.

2016

Hey 2016... I feel like I speak for almost everyone when I say... go fuck yourself on the shit train you fucking rode in on.

Now that I got that out of the way.... how was 2016 you ask? Well...

Alongside the many tragic musical deaths 2016 brought us (I listened to nothing but Bowie for a month, honestly), 2016 was soul-crushing for me in multiple other ways. I began the year unemployed, but with two terrific people close to me whom I could always count upon to be there for me in times of despair or devastating loneliness. Few questions asked.

My financial misfortunes took an astonishing turn for the worse in 2016. My crippling OSAP debt (Merry fucking Christmas to you too) intensified, Toronto Hydro threatened me multiple times with disconnecting my service (which in the winter months is apparently illegal, Merry fucking Christmas thanks) and I still owe the University of Toronto thousands of dollars in unpaid tuition fees because again, OSAP loves me. They even stole hundreds of dollars from my bank account and would have kept doing so if I hadn't ordered my bank to stop them.

But I've been in this shitty situation for a while. 2016 began and I was wading in it. But 2016 is a truly piece of shit year not just because of my unsolvable debt problems, but because it was a year when everything I'd attempt to rise above the shin-deep sewer of feces I was in, I'd end up with shit on my face every. Single. Time. I was overweight in February (about 210 pounds) because I was sad, unemployed and bored. The weather got better and I knew my baseball season was gonna start soon, so I worked out hard to get myself in better shape. I ate better, I went for jogs by the beach, I did 50ish pushups a day, all because I didn't want to let my team down. I was coming off back-too-back off seasons (maybe because my head wasn't in the right place, who knows) and I wanted this season to be my comeback. Where I showed everyone this is who I am, when I work hard I'm unstoppable. I lost 20 pounds in a month and a half (which shows how shitty my diet was then) just in time for the season to start.

And I fucking sucked.

All the hard work, all the effort to get myself back in decent athletic shape, was pointless. I had the worst season of my life, and one of the worst in league history. I had one hit in twenty at-bats. Which in baseball terms... is 'find something else to do' level. My defense was excellent (as usual), I worked intelligent at-bats and drew a ton of walks (as usual again) and frankly, I hit the ball hard when I was up there. You don't go 1-20 in a season, yet only strike out twice without a severe slash of dreadful luck. And during one of those two strikeouts, I was having a severe panic attack and chased a pitch 2 feet off the plate. 2016 is the year the concept of luck died.

But as discouraging as the sport I love treated me (I was honestly ready to quit and never come back... sorry boys) losing those two people in 2016, whom I held so close, was harder. One was a tight friend, someone I could go to in any moment of crisis... and his smart perspective would always lift me up. I'd think something was the end of the world, we'd chill together, and everything wasn't so dire or tragic. Just like that. Our friendship felt apart suddenly and instantly in a single night, in perhaps the stupidest way imaginable. I still wonder how these events combined to create this moment in time. But that's 2016.

The other close relationship I lost was much, much deeper. I don't want to drag up personal details here, but all I wanna say is that loneliness stabs just a little bit deeper since we stopped speaking to each other. There's something missing in every moment that I can't share with her... guess I just have to adjust to that feeling. 

On this upcoming Sunday, 2016 is over. I hope you join me in a toast, casting aside the shittiest fucking year maybe that ever was. Did you know Donald Trump was elected President of the United fucking States? Yeah, 2016.

But I want to be optimistic. I have to be optimistic. It's a defect in my nature, perhaps. I can do better than this, I can be better. We can do better, my friends, we can be better.

Let's stand up for one another, especially now. Peace and love.

 

Random Lee I

Don't feed the troll.

Also don't feed the goblin right behind the troll, jumping up and down desperate for attention.

Many of us are goblins at one point or another.

Something Something The 2016 Blue Jays

This is possibly the very last game for the 2016 Blue Jays, so I want to share something similar to what I was fully intending to write around October 3rd, the day after the conclusion of the regular season.

Honestly, it looks like the 2016 team was going to be one historically looked upon with frustration, perhaps even disdain. This was a squad with so many unexpected pleasant surprises going its way, such as Michael Saunders' explosive first half, J.A. Happ's emergence as a top lefthander in the entire game (J.A. Happ fer crissakes!), Marco Estrada proving he's not a one season wonder, and a Rule 5 pick coming out of nowhere against any expectation to become both a key bullpen piece and a damn lovable dude.

They had all this going for them, the strongest starting pitching by ERA in the whole American League (imagine how many Toronto teams in the past 15 years would've killed for that?), and yet they couldn't make it work. Though their overall numbers were strong, the teams offense was truly a mirage of that performance. There were just so many long spells where these legitimately great hitters scuffled at the exact same time, resulting in tough loss after tough loss in painfully winnable games.

These guys didn't have the magic of the 2015 team. And well frankly, who does? That team went on such an insane late season run that the playoffs didn't become a dream, it became an inevitability. Maybe the 2016 version had that in their heads the whole time, an overconfidence if you will. Overconfidence is fantastic when you're a pitcher, it means you're not afraid to throw a strike and make a mistake. It can and will backfire but the majority of the time, that's a mighty fine thing to have on the mound. In the batters box? Yeah that can be a great thing also, you want a batter who isn't afraid of failure (because so much of hitting is precisely that very thing). But these 2016 Blue Jays hitters for the most part took overconfidence to a whole other level. They swung out of their shoes at so many pitches not in their zone because they surely believed they were capable of hitting that particular one a mile. That approach can work, and will get you big cheers when you're hot, but when you're not you just look the fool trying to pull a curveball six inches off the plate. Frankly, it was insanely infuriating to watch game after game and I was indeed negotiating with myself how harsh this end-of-the-season article was going to be on this underachieving team, squandering the golden opportunity before them considering their pair of surely departing free agent sluggers.

Then the Wildcard game happened. And the parrot took a walk-off walk around the bases.

Then the ALDS happened. And nemesis Texas took their sad dreams and their sad little punch into another offseason wondering what just happened.

And this is what will make 2016 such a strange year in Blue Jays history. A team at a crossroads, good but not great, with two franchise icons halfway out the door, until an honest to goodness playoff run happened. The problems they're having against the Clevelands are the problems they've had all year: these bats are up and down and there's really no inbetween for them. 2015 was like asking the girl or boy of your dreams out on a date and they kiss you to say yes -- 2016 has been like that except some nights they're busy, other nights it's an obvious lie to be polite to you, but then once in a while you two go out and have a magnificent time. And then you wonder: "why can't it be like this every single time?"

Why not indeed. It's Kluber (18-9, 3.14)  v. Sanchez (15-2, 3.00), 4:07 ET first pitch.

Liam's Leviews I -- MadJack Root Beer

You've maybe seen it on some billboards around downtown Toronto: a "hard" root beer by MadJack, a brewery under the galaxy sized Molson umbrella. As a lover of both root beer and regular beer, I was intrigued, and took the opportunity to purchase one the next time I was at a Beer Store.

Upon first sniff I was optimistic. It had that root beer scent all right: sweet and caney with that faint suggestion of bitterness. The colour was exactly correct also, a dark brown swampish hue promising an adult version of your favourite slumber party drink.

Tasting it however, did not bring back priceless memories of childhood lore. Rather, that I'm an adult drinking sugary booze at two in the afternoon. The flavour resembles root beer sure, but the kind of root beer you buy from a supermarket vending machine for 35 cents. It lacks that lingering sweetness that quality root beers feature, while retaining that inevitable stomachache from drinking something too sugary. The complete absence of an after taste will make you pine for those simpler days of cheetos and 9pm late nights, not relive them.

I can only suggest MadJack Root Beer if you really wanna get drunk and drink root beer, but are too poor/lazy to just buy rum and mix it with some A&W. Otherwise you'll probably be disappointed. I admire the ambition though.

Rating (out of 10 'L's) -- LLL

Extra Innings -- I (The Tryout)

    'Hey! Where you going?'
    'Doesn't matter. Nowhere.'
    'Where's nowhere?'
    'Somewhere you don't know.'
    'Is it far?'
    'Far enough.'
    'What's all that stuff in your bag?'
    'Doesn't matter. I'll be back around dinnertime, cool?'
    'Sure. Where you going? Tell me or I'll lock the door.'
    'Forfuksake...I... I'm going to... a park for a... job... interview. Right, I'm meeting them for a job in park recreation.'
    'Well you be careful. I can't have any of those Bay Street bullies giving my Ti-Bub any trouble. You call me the first time you're uncomfortable, okay? I'll be there ready to pounce. That's right... hey, where are you going?'
    'Nowhere.'

    He was quickly out the door before any further inanity in question form could be lobbed at him. His bag contained only a change of clothing, spiked shoes, a mitt, a bottle of water and nothing at all resembling a resume. There was no job interview, though in a sense there was kind of.
    The walk to St. George station was a quick one, though loaded with tension nonetheless. He was nervous, like a student of solitude invited to hang out with the cool crew. There was an excellent chance he was about to make a fool of himself. The suspense was unbearable, but the invitation could not be refused, even if this particular crew turned out to not be so cool.
    A subway train came unexpectedly fast, and twenty minutes later he was stepping into Runnymede, a station with a strange name and even stranger colour scheme. The e-mail had instructed him the 79 bus would take him close to the park, but he foolishly took the 71 in excitement. Suddenly he was at St. Clair and Mondovi rapidly regretting the whole endeavour.
   
    'Excuse me? Excuse me.'
   
    'Hey there, I'm lost. Can you...'

    'Pardon me, I'm just trying to find...'

    'Sorry, but do you know... okay sure. Fine. Keep walking. Asshole.'
    'What'd you say joker?'
    'Nothing. Sorry. Hey, do you know where... yeah great. You keep walking too. Only time any of you listen is when I insult you. Hey dickface! You know where Symes Road is?'
    'My word! Watch your language young man! Symes is a block that way, north side. I say, next time ask with some politeness, scoundrel!'
    'Great... thanks...'
   
    Symes Road was an odd road lined with identical townhouses, the kind that seem planted instead of grown. The street ended but continued again behind a barrier, transforming quickly from a generic housing development into an abandoned factory district of unspeakable slaughters. He was uneasy but utilized the cliche "I've come this far" to press himself onward. The smell of rotting carcasses and discarded skin faded away once the road dipped downward into a wide valley. There was the sound of wood echoing with a thunderous crack, and his destination was in sight at the bottom of this descent.
    The park was surrounded by trees, willows to be precise, and they swayed by the whim of even the least assertive breeze. A pathway led off the road, twisted across a steam, and led him right into the action. A dozen or so people were in plain sight, shaking off the rust of their shoulders in an attempt to see if they had anything left. He wondered the same thing as he watched and walked. His introspection was suddenly interrupted.

    'You here for the tryout?'

    He was a short, stocky, twitchy sort of fellow. Young, well groomed, though possessing a smooth face incapable of any facial hair beyond moustache fuzz. His demeanour was intense and intimidating for a stranger.

    'Y...yeah...'
    'Name?'
    'Brinker.'
    'Brinker?' He asked, looking up from a folded paper he had. 'That's... your first name bro?'
    'No my last. I... uh, don't really use my first name much.'

    Within an instant the stranger burst into laughter, poking a spot on his paper repeatedly. It was not a cruel laugh though Brinker felt its insensitivity.

    'Tierra. Tierra Brinker. That's your name? Wow... hah! Sorry I just... I'm guessing you've heard em all, right?'
    'A few, yeah.'
    'How do you say it? *ha-hah* Is it... tie-ra? Or... ti-ara? How about te-ra?'
    'I prefer Brinker, really.'
    'Okay okay, no need to be a good sport about it. *ha hah! ha!* I'm Cole, by the way. One of the administrators of the league. Mostly rules and umpire stuff. Go talk to Sulic over there, big dude in the A's jersey. He'll tell you what you need to know. It's not Teer-ah, eh?'
    'Nice to meet you.' Brinker grumbled, storming away.

For The World To See

    April 14 2014 -- 11:27
    Hey everybody! Things have been pretty rough lately but I'm optimistic it's all about to turn around. Got two job interviews scheduled later this afternoon, one I'm really excited for. Wish me luck friends!
    (&)Rose Carmichael -- 11:31: Good luck! You're a hard worker and any place would be lucky to have you.
    (&)James Vicki -- 14:23: Stay positive. Even if things aren't working your way always remember you're a great player and an even better person.
    (&)Sandy Groshevsnkvy -- 16:04: Sending good vibes your way!
    (&)Joey Novel -- 16:17: Good luck dude!
    (&)Scott R Manning -- 17:39: Cool you fool!

    April 15 2014 -- 9:46
    Thanks everyone. Just got a call back from one job. Not the one I was hoping for but it's a good opportunity nonetheless. Super happy for the support!

    April 21 2014 -- 3:22
    Off to my first training shift at the new job. Cash is getting tight so this is coming at the perfect time. Here's to a new and better future!
    (&)George Sharms -- 3:28: Knock em dead
    (&)Joey Novel -- 5:44: Yeah dude! You'll do great.

    April 26 2014 -- 23:21
    New job is interesting. Free meals and the food is great. Co-workers are pretty harsh though, aggressive like. I'm the new one aboard I guess. Anyhow I'm in! Here's to a steady paycheque!
    (&)Rose Carmichael -- 23:54: Glad to hear it's working out. Keep at it.
    (&)Megan Trineus -- 0:16: Free food omg I'm soooo jealous
    (&)A Lostenspac -- 1:43: Bring some of that foodness my way next time. You down for ball this week?

    May 4 2014 -- 22:32
    Spurs looking tough to beat this year.

    May 6 2014 -- 2:11
    Got some crazy co-workers man. Those kitchen kids know how to drink. Waiting for the Queen streetcar but none in sight. Typical.
    (&)Sandy Groshevsnkvy -- 2:53: Literally the worst. I walked once from Church to Dovercourt and none went by. Soooo bad.

    May 10 2014 -- 0:28
    Just got a big talking to from my manager about how I have "too much attention to detail" while I work. Wasn't aware that was a bad thing. But okay. Certain places are weird, I'll adjust.
    (&)Rose Carmichael -- 0:44: It's strange sure but every work environment is different so just go with it.

    May 12 2014 -- 1:33
    Love to see the Raps grab a guy like Luis Scola if he ever became available. Crafty old man game

    May 12 2014 -- 8:42
    Come on Pacers. Some one's gotta stop Miami and the LeBrons.

    May 16 2014 -- 2:11
    Apparently at work there's a beer rep coming in and we get to try new crazy beers. Think I'll be showing up extra early today!

    May 16 2014 -- 11:37
    Got screamed at, same manager as before. I took a minute to step outside when we weren't busy for some fresh air. He followed me out. There wasn't a single person in the damn place.
    (&)George Sharms -- 11:50: Seems excessive. Don't let it get to ya
    (&)Joey Novel -- 0:04: Sorry to hear that dude!
    (&)Rose Carmichael -- 0:06: He's the boss so what he says goes. Sorry to be the reality shock here but you should check with your supervisor anytime you need to step out.

    May 19 2014 -- 13:05
    My stomach feels like it was hit by a photon torpedo. Twisting in bed. Called in sick.

    May 20 2014 -- 11:52
    Not feeling better. Called in sick again. Might have to visit doctor.
    (&)Amanda Newton -- 12:32: Oh no. Hope everything's okay!!! :(

    May 22 2014 -- 9:41
    Way better today, won't need the Doc! Thankfully I got my shift covered tonight so I get one more day to recover. Perfect day to take it easy.

    May 23 2014 -- 23:50
    First night back at work after that flu. Staff giving me weird looks, ignoring my hellos. Maybe next time I pull myself together and work through it ha ha ha.

    June 5 2014 -- 10:44
    Blue Jays keep rolling baby!
    (&)Sandy Groshevsnkvy -- 11:04: Catch a game soon?

    June 7 2014 -- 11:34
    Juan Francisco couldn't hit a beachball if it spun around his ankles.

    June 17 2014 -- 3:11
    Late to the party here but so glad the Spurs wiped out the LeBrons and took the title. That was some beautiful ball to watch.

    June 22 2014 -- 23:55
    So glad to be home. Need sleep. Long sleep.

    June 24 2014 -- 10:55
    I don't get this place. I chat with a dude coming in who I know and get a "pulled aside" moment. Really? This isn't fun to begin with, plus I have six times the experience of your A-game bartender. Can I even talk about this or is that an no-no?

    July 2 2014 -- 3:42
    Here we go again, same shit as every other day
    (&)George Sharms -- 3:52: Where you been recently? You hardly update anymore.
    (&)Kylie Adelman -- 5:53: :( :( :(
   
    July 3 2014 -- 0:14
    More criticism, more shouting. Would it hurt these people so much to say a kind word once in a while? I'm doing the best I can.
    (&)Rose Carmichael -- 0:32: It doesn't sound like you have a very good attitude.
    July 5 2014 -- 2:21
    Back to hell. Maybe I should just quit. I dunno.

    July 6 2014 -- 3:11
    Checl out this sweete video froma buddy of mibe. So good
    (&)George Sharms -- 3:42: That's pretty rad! hope youre all right
    (&)Amanda Newton -- 7:54: Talented!

    July 9 2014 -- 0:11
    I got written up for arriving three minutes BEFORE the start of my shift. Seriously. Industry people? This is nuts or am I nuts?
    (&)Kylie Adelman -- 0:33: I once got fired for taking a smoke break! It was an elementary school but still terrible! :( :( :(
    (&)Joey Novel -- 2:12: sucks dude
    (&)Alex R Richmond -- 2:44: Bogus! Go to the labouror board wit that one
    (&)Rose Carmichael -- 2:57: Being 15 minutes early is industry standard. Leave earlier next time.
    July 11 2014 -- 2:32
    Monster---put-in!!!!! Walllllllettttt...

    July 12 2014 -- 1:40
    I likelate at night. Get home frm the shit and chill and forgoet tomorrows a nother day

    July 12 2014 -- 13:11
    Geez my head hurts

    July 17 2014 -- 11:44
    I'm starting to feel really weird sometimes. I had a moment a few days ago at work where it was like something was compressing me and I couldn't control my energy. Never felt anything like it
    (&)Joey Novel -- 11:58: Damn dude hope you're okay!
   
    July 21 2014 -- 3:31
    That weird feeling is starting to hit me before work now. I don't like it but I need the money and it's really not that bad? Gotta stick it through. Things could be worse
    (&)Sandy Groshevsnkvy -- 5:03: Maybe go see a doctor? That doesn't sound normal.
    (&)Amanda Newton -- 6:32: Try some green tea in the morning. That always used to cure my anxious feelings
    July 25 2014 -- 10:21
    Had a full blown something tonight. Had to hide in the back until I stopped shaking. Got pissed on for taking a break though the place was empty. There must be something better.

    July 28 2014 -- 18:46
    Another attack on the job. I went to my manager to give my notice but couldn't get the words out, sat outside for an hour instead and walked home. I wonder if they thought I was faking.

    July 29 2014 -- 11:32
    Got fired. No specific reason given.
    (&)George Sharms -- 12:53: Those shitheads. You're better than them
    (&)Joey Novel -- 13:28: Damn dude!
    (&)Rose Carmichael -- 14:20: What happened to you. You used to be better than that.

    August 3 2014 -- 10:32
    Got a few things lined up this week so fingers crossed. About time some luck went my way.
    (&)Joey Novel -- 14:30: Good luck your way dude!
    August 10 2014 -- 16:34
    Still nothing. I nailed those interviews, I don't get it

    August 10 2014 -- 23:58
    Screw em all! I'm no needno job yo justify myself!

    August 13 2014 -- 9:32
    Found out my application for a student loan was declined, just because I've used EI within the last 12 months. Heaven forbid a student live on their own and have to pay rent.
    (&)Amanda Newton -- 10:37: Have you tried applying for a bursary? It's better than nothing
    August 17 2014 -- 18:53
    Why can't you people realize I have no money??? So stop inviting me to things! It just stings at this point

    August 21 2014 -- 7:36
    That same feeling keeps hitting me. I thought getting out of that shithole job would help but it's coming back. Not that any of you care. Why would you
    (&)Amanda Newton -- 9:35: I care. Meet for lunch soon to talk it over?

    August 24 2014 -- 17:54
    A good day, Guess I was due.
    (&)Amanda Newton -- 18:44: :) :)
    August 29 2014 -- 11:46
    Gotta find some kinda work soon. I can barely afford rent this month.

    September 2 2014 -- 16:44
    Goddamn Blue Jays. You're on thin ice, Gibbons
    (&)Marcus Deshaines -- 18:03: He's the worst. Jays will never win a thing with him in charge
    September 5 2014 -- 17:32
    What's the point of even looking for work. The only things that want me are the things I hate.

    September 8 2014 -- 20:32
    Who would want to hire me anyway. It's hard enough with this scary feeling and getting out of bed in the morning.
    (&)Amanda Newton -- 22:07: Don't think like that. Please don't.

    September 10 2014 -- 3:51
    It'd be easier if I was a junkie

    September 10 2014 -- 4:14
    Maybe I should look into that. Couldn't make things worse
    (&)George Sharms -- 8:03: dude what are you even talking about.

    September 10 2014 -- 19:36
    Spent all afternoon by the beach. Guess I was hoping the water would tell me what to do but no. It does its work but even it can't work miracles.

    September 13 2014 -- 14:32
    Supposed to go to a job interview today but stayed in bed. It was probably a shit job anyway.

    September 18 2014 -- 2:46
    What a night. Spent more money than I shoulda but it was great to see Jonesy again. If I'm goin down might as well go down in style.
    (&)Rupert Jones -- 3:42: Yeah buddy great night!

    September 20 2014 -- 7:32
    I think they shut off the lights. Took em long enough

    September 22 2014 -- 14:20
    Life is almost better in the darkness. In the dark, you can't see the horrible mess you've made of things

    September 25 2014 -- 19:42
    Only six days til I get evicted and live on the streets. No money, no prospects and I've pissed away any sign of hope. I wouldn't feel so bad if that damned tight nervous feeling inside of me would go away. Just give me some peace, please
    (&)Joey Novel -- 21:04: It'll be okay dude!
    (&)Sandy Groshevsnkvy -- 22:11: You wanna talk or something?

    September 27 2014 -- 23:11
    The stars are really nice around here. I'm gonna miss this view.
    (&)Kylie Adelman -- 2:02: Why why??? are you moving??? ;) ;)

    September 28 2014 -- 5:22
    Still a dark shithole though. Suits me perfectly

    September 30 2014 -- 12:36
    some days I feel like I'm invincible, like I can conquer the world. Other days I wish for death to hurry up and hit the reset button. Every morning I pray for that inbetween but nothing, only one or the other. The roller coaster ends at only one drop
    (&)Amanda Newton -- 14:03: I'm coming over right now. I'm on my way so let me in. Please
 
    **This Account Has Been Deactivated** 


   
 

The 70

    Darpenter's bicycle hit a severe pothole in the road that knocked the gentle daydream out of his head. He had been imagining the most recent time he had spoken to his dearest friend on the phone, wondering if that was a life and appearance more chaotic than his own.
    The number 70 bus zoomed past him, rumbling northward to an obscure section of the city. Darpenter was glad it was gone, it being just another obstruction towards his own destination not as far away. Three more traffic lights and he would be there, yet such distance seemed an eternity upon a bicycle determined to slow the journey to a jog. His bike was an accident constantly waiting to happen: his wheels wobbled defiantly and his brakes did not respond to any firm grip. With the frequency that he rode Darpenter knew it was "when", not "if", that his bicycle would lead him into catastrophe. He thought of it as a certainty and nothing more.