The Tuesday Taste: Wing Machine

 

 

 

With the birds and the bees

and all those groovy things

Like getting stomach aches

when ya gotta go to work

Or staring into space

when you're feeling berserk

Another Tuesday... another.... whatever this is? A Taste? Sure! The verdict of the judges is still being deliberated on that one, but regardless we shall proceed assuming this is a real review. 

Wing Machine is a franchise chain born seemingly in the mid-1980s that strove to share their uniquely delicious recipe of baked wings across all of metropolitan Toronto. They've objectively achieved half of that goal, now boasting dozens of locations throughout southern Ontario. Their website also brags that "Chicken Wings Aficionados have voted our baked wings Toronto’s best wings" (a lot of times to use "wings" in a wings sentence wings wings). Also, they've provided customers "healthier products" and well, if you haven't picked up the tone of this review yet I suppose I'm trying about as hard to be subtle as they are. 

This was my first ever visit to Wing Machine, although I used to live just a few blocks away from the same location I went for this review. Lets jump into nostalgia! Dear god it's far preferable than revisiting this food so please indulge me. I used to live near Monarch Park and Danforth in the early 2010s, and being the obvious teetotaler you all know and love... would often go to the LCBO there right at Greenwood (just to look at the windows and obviously not walk in for tasty beverages, obviously). A Wing Machine was still directly across the street from there even a decade ago, and despite some occasional curiosity I was loyal to my small local spot... Top Notch Pizza on the south-west corner of Danforth and Monarch (it's long gone, a Starbucks has been there for at least five years). 

Nevertheless, Wing Machine is a fast food chain that had been on my list to review for a while. Since I had some overdue painting work to do nearby, I figured (despite their horrific Google ratings) I'd at last pay them a look once I'd finished my labour. I mean, just drinking the paint instead might've not been all that worse a meal but... too late for regrets.

I'll stop being mean... for now. This is certainly not the Star Trek: Picard season 2 of food reviews: it's loaded with pointless backstory sure, but at least this will actually tie itself together and make sense. I finished my gig, wandered up to Danforth/Greenwood and checked out the many specials on the Wing Machine front window. Seriously... there were about nine specials and some of them contradicted each other. Not one to easily be lost in hunger (thanks a lot, jaded skepticism), I strolled inside knowing I wanted a pound of hot wings and their five dollar one-topping medium pizza special. 

The place wasn't packed or anything, but there was just one middle aged dude working the entire spot and I immediately felt sympathy and respect on him. Delivery orders, plus walk-ins like me... even on a Monday to do customer service and cook a bunch of wings and pizzas (with obviously different cooking speeds)... to steal an industry term you're definitely going to be in the weeds. 

I immediately wanted to believe this place could be an underrated gem. Even the folks waiting who got their orders praised the man, happily complimenting "you make the best food" aloud as they left. My intrigue continued to peak... enough that even once I wandered outside and realized the man hadn't even asked me what I wanted on my pizza, I was still cautiously optimistic. "It'll just be pepperoni" I told myself... stroking my beard, sipping my drink and slowly remembering the seedier elements of Greenwood/Danforth as they re-revealed themselves to my naive eyes under the setting sun.

I had to pay my bill, so the fella running the place (who I will continue to say was very friendly, despite my upcoming point) came outside to summon me. Now, I like to do a tiny bit of research for these reviews... just to know ahead of time what I'm going to order instead of winging it (see what I did there). Looking online at Wing Machine's menu... wow. This was pricey stuff for a chain not exactly regarded for excellence. I was committed to try the wings despite the price, but seeing the cheap pizza on the window was tantalizing enough to my hungry nature for a sale. So... seeing my bill come out was kind of weird and frankly a rather sketchy one. Twenty-six bucks for a pound of wings and a medium pizza... I guess that's the going rate for a "deal" these days... but wasn't my pizza five bucks? Not to mention, I only caught a brief glimpse of that price before being asked to tap or pay. 

This... I cannot oblige. I've been a bartender for some time and (without naming names or places) have seen some shady ass shit... and even the shittiest crowds that have treated me like cheap dirt (the dirt Moe Syzslak is better than) have still never pushed me to any point of charging dishonestly. To give this WM fella the benefit of the doubt, he was busy (I presume) and most likely wanted to get the transaction over with as quickly as possible so to get back to other things. But still. With this in mind, despite a perception skewed by basketball podcasts, repetitive wood painting and considerable hunger... I deliberately cancelled the transaction on the debit machine and claimed a "whoops! Hit the wrong button."

We try the transaction again, but this time he asks me for my card and inserts it himself, and if he can tap What??? Am I just not very trusting or maybe crazy because I'd like to know what I'm paying? It was a pre-paid card from one of my jobs (long story) with barely thirty bucks left so I wasn't exactly worried, plus this fella probably had seven other orders to prepare in the next ten minutes... it was just... weird? Not to mention once again I never confirmed the price of my order. This just doesn't feel right to me, despite it still resulting in the same price I'd glimpsed for a split second earlier. Whatever, at last I was off to finally sample Wing Machine cuisine for myself...

...except, where to sample it? Greenwood and Danforth isn't exactly a blooming intersection with benches or sitting areas... rather it's a spot that suggests you hastily get the hell out of there (the later evening residents especially). Well... I knew of an empty grassy lot just a bit south of Danforth, as it happens to be on Oakvale Avenue, the old street my father grew up on (before they all moved to Winnipeg when he was in Grade One I believe). I slip over there and... finally! I can try this machine of wings and their pizza option. Damn I was hungry... this medium pizza and pound of wings would surely solve that... right? The optimism was still there.

---

Enough stalling, time for the least interesting part of this article: the food itself. Hey, doing my usual backstory stuff and then opening with some classic hip-hop lyrics wasn't decent stalling? Meh? 

Bah. Fine... well, Wing Machine is pretty goddamn terrible. You probably knew this already. I didn't! I suspected it might be, but finally experiencing exposure... yeah there's not a lot here. It's pretty bad, like seriously.... really bad. Bland as the frozen version of hell. I didn't even finish it, which I never (not) do.

The only positives are: the hot sauce on the wings are more of a pastey chili mix than a cheap vinegary/Frank's Hot. A decent spice that deserves a far, far higher quality of wing. Also... this pie is better than Pizza Pizza, though not even by much. It has about as much flavour and the only advantage for WM pie (yeah I don't even wanna use the full name anymore, that's how little I want to write this) is how thin it is. Even then, isn't that more of a cop-out? If that's their usual pizza and they charge those prices for their signature creations? And that's all you get? Imagine paying twenty bucks and getting a bland, pathetic snack like this. Just... wow. At least Pizza Pizza gives you a lame bang for your buck. This is seriously one of the weakest pizzas I've ever reviewed... a D++ for the record, and it's barely ahead of the grossly salty one that tasted obviously frozen beforehand (*cough* Scaddabush) or the other that was so rubbery it genuinely made me sick. 

 

 

On the topic of frozen pizzas, this reminded me of these mini-frozen pizzas I used to get from the Rabba's on Isabella Street back in 2005... only difference is that the cheese on here is better because it actually bleeds properly into the pie. Beyond that pleasant familiarity (of a freaking 99 cent frozen mini-pizza)... there's nothing to this WM pizza at all. It's like it barely exists in our physical universe: none of the flavours are individually remarkable enough to leave any impression... this is the pizza with a taste that departs as quickly as a Vlad Guerrero Jr. dinger (and at least Vladdy has some flair). While the absurdly thin texture here gives some fleeting sense of enjoyment, any flavour is incredibly one dimensional beyond the basic elements of greasy cheese, greasier pepperoni, sauce-based something (there's only a teaspoon of it on the whole thing anyway) and doughy bread that lingers in your mouth suspiciously long once those other elements have departed and been forgotten. None of this tastes right... and while this super thin pizza has the advantage of not resembling cardboard like Pizza Pizza or Domino's, at least those pies are a cheaper and greater source of sustenance. Geez, this was just sad. Also, why the hell was it in a Domino's box? Seriously, look below:

 

 

The place is called Wing Machine... how about them wings? Well, they are better than the pizza. Better enough to pay 15 bucks for a pound? Without veggies, fries or a dip? Plus tax? Yikes. Like, seriously... those people praising this food when I happened to walk in and place my order... was this a Truman Show situation? I was supposed to walk in precisely at that moment and it was all scripted? I have no other explanation... because these wings were also kindaaa pretty terrible. 

As mentioned, the hot sauce was different than I expected. I'm used to various places advertising their "hot" as a vinegar mix that stings the tongue but remains widely accessible. This hot sauce was at least more of a chili pepper paste meant to seep into the chicken, and that flavour did pop... once in a while. Problem is... the quality of this chicken is frankly fucking pathetic. Like, seriously. You're charging this much for a pound, when high quality pubs charge slightly more and at least provide veggies and dip and also something that never ever looks like this:

 

 

What is that? Dr. Zoidberg's fried mini claw? How is it barely larger than my fingernails? Seriously? This is fucked. These wings (not just the ones pictured) had so many little bones in them I was worried spitting them out so much in a public park because a random dog could come around and choke. Wing Machine everybody! The sad thing is (despite the sketchiness of the debit transaction) I believe the fella who made my order genuinely did his best. This is all he had to work with. Yikes.

The wings themselves... sort of okay in certain bites (especially with the sauce) but really damn fatty and greasy in those bites also. So much for "highest quality ingredients" or "striving for healthiness". There were also very few drumstick wings in here either... I counted two, both were misshapen and unbelievably dry and stale. Meanwhile you have a bunch of wings here sure... but they're all tiny, filled with shards of bone, fatty as hell when they're not crunchy (everyone loves a crunchy wing) and there's just an extreme cheapness to the entire operation here. If these tiny ass wings and crepe-shaped pizza all added up to half the price it was, I'd still think I'd been hoodwinked. This here? Bloody highway robbery, no survivors. I praised Maker Pizza last week and while griping about the expense, that pie is worth seven hundred times anything you see here. 

 

Overall! Would I recommend you check out Wing Machin-ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NO NO NO NO FUCK NO! This is just beyond horrible considering the quality and the boosted price. Not the worst pizza I've ever had but possibly the most forgettable... meanwhile the wings are less of a machine and more of a choke hazard factory. I've reviewed worse things but boy this gets awful close to those discomforts. Maybe if they were actually cheap I could understand getting the wings... maybe... (just have a buddy nearby who knows the Heimlich). At fifteen bucks a (pathetic) pound though? Treat yourself and go somewhere else. Anywhere else. I'm never going back as long as I live, there or any other Wing Machine. I'm running out of synonyms for "overpriced" and "awful".   

 

 

Burnt Ends -- Kinda looking for inspiration, to be completely honest. Wanting to write but lacking any real ideas to get into. Very open to suggestions. 

 

This Week's No Context Looney Tunes Image -- 

 

  

Tuesday Tune -- I'm truly the dictionary definition opposite of somebody knowing anything about hip-hop. But even I can appreciate a good groove, good lyrics and good flow...

 

 

That's all for this week! Next time... I definitely need to review something actually good again. For real. Until then! Stay safe, enjoy the summer, make sure you know what you're getting on your pizza and definitely don't spill that mustard on it.

 

 

              

The Tuesday Taste: Maker Pizza's Dr. Pepperoni

 

Late at night

I wanna see you

Well my eyes

they begin to fade

Am I just living in the space between

The beauty and the pain 

 

Another Tuesday, another Taste! It was quite an eventful weekend here at HQ, filled with softball games, crazy sunburns, lakeside adventures and an absurd amount of delicious food and drinks. Alas, a return to Toronto and the reality contained therein was inevitable... so to ease that transition (and to take a break from all the burgers and chicken of the weekend) I decided for the review this week to revisit an acclaimed pizza place I hadn't been to in multiple years. Yep, at long last, the TT finally meets Maker Pizza.

I'd been to Maker twice before, both times in 2018. The first visit may very well have inspired my first pizza quest later that year (I went with a friend and our conversation steered towards listing other pizza places we wanted to try... little did she know how far I'd eventually take the idea). Maker was still somewhat fresh on the T.O pizza scene in 2018 (pardon the rhyme), having just opened their second outpost up at Avenue Road and Lawrence earlier that spring. 

Their original location, operating out of a narrow building hidden on Cameron Street north of Queen, was a venture of restaurateur Shlomo Buchler and famed Canadian chef/personality Matty Matheson (whose recent burger collaboration with A&W was also covered in these parts). Maker has now expanded to four locations in Toronto and their most recent addition on Carlaw Avenue happens to be a modest bike ride away from me... so away I went!

This was my third attempt to review Maker pizza for the Tuesday show. I'd first tried about a month ago but that was the infamous episode where I couldn't find their address in time and, being far too stubborn to look at the actual global map engine in my pocket, opted to review the McChicken instead. Well played, me. I'll discuss my second attempt later... for now though enough of my stalling, here comes actual food talk.

The Carlaw location is tucked in the middle of a block-long maroon brick building slightly north of Dundas Street East, just a good baseball toss away from the Crows Nest theatre or the large patio of Dundas And Carlaw bar. It is a very small space exclusively focusing on take-out orders, completely lacking tables, chairs or even standing room for more than a half dozen people. Fortunately the weather this day was exceptional, so I placed my order and (being told it would be 25 minutes) walked to the Value Village nearby to check for some cheap CDs.

Maker has some very intricate options amongst their signature pies, but I wanted to keep things somewhat simple for the purposes of this review and so went for their "Dr. Pepperoni", a classic within their social media presence. First off... yeah there is a lot of goddamn pepperoni on here. Like an excessive amount. The result is a pretty salty pie of course, but thankfully this pepperoni is of a highly crispy and tasty quality.... important since it is kinda the star of the show here. One thing I've noticed with cheaper types of pepperoni is how thin and fatty they tend to be, resulting in a texture that peels apart easily and doesn't linger in the mouth very long beyond mere greasiness. Maker's pepperoni instead utilizes tiny cups and yet the feel/taste has a bit more depth to it... with the texture resembling more of a tougher salami like a soppressata. As pepperoni it's really darn good, but it dominates this pizza so much it's difficult to get a strong handle of the other elements or flavours here. 

Nevertheless I shall try away. The cheese is the most difficult part to evaluate, both because it seems to almost blend into the legions of pepperoni here and also that I was a bit late retrieving this pizza from my CD hunt. In my experience ordering take-out, especially from a busy spot (they seemed rather swamped with phone delivery orders) 10 minutes usually means 15, 25 means 30-35 et cetera. Not always, but often enough. I may have over-estimated how much time I had in my album searching, as I returned about forty minutes later and still had to wait another few minutes while the staff dealt with other orders. The pizza was still warm, however when a pizza sits in a box atop an oven (to keep it warm-ish in cases like this) the cheese will toughen and overcook somewhat. This is a very long way of saying: the cheese was fine, tasted like good mozzarella but the pepperoni flavour bled into it so much I can't really judge it individually. Hey, at least I found a good Beck album though. 

The most disappointing part of the pizza was the crust. Don't get me wrong, it tasted good (and I highly recommend getting their crust finishers, more on that later) but the bread was a bit of a challenge to chew through. A mix of airiness in the crust with a tough exterior... certainly fresh enough to avoid being unpleasantly stale, but really lacking that soft baked bread texture I prefer in a pie of this nature. I like having char and some chewiness, there just needs to be a balance within that instead of mostly hollow pockets of air. As for the tomato sauce... thumbs up. This is strong stuff: bursting with a semi-sweet flavour, well blended (no wateriness at all) and with little seasoning hints to show this is far beyond any generic canned supermarket fare. 

Lets get to the extras that Maker offers, which you can see in the lead photo: the crust finisher and the dipping sauce. Yes, that actually is a pizza dipping sauce and not a cup of yogurt covered in green apple puree. Starting with that dip... damn good stuff. Perhaps not quite at the level of Blondie's black garlic sauce (but what is remotely close to that?). Maker offers four dip options: creamy garlic parmesan, buttermilk ranch, and then the creamy garlic mixed with either a chili sauce or a salsa verde (which is what I got). The name salsa verde (which I must remind everyone simply translates to "green sauce") led me to expect some kind of tomatillo salsa mixed in with the garlicy cream, but instead the green portion of the dip resembled something closer to a light pesto. A lot of basil and olive oil flavour, though lacking any kind of nutty presence. This was a good compliment to the creamier garlic half, which leaned more on the parmesan taste-wise and was also a fairly thick concoction: truly a dip in the sense if you tried to pour this thing the contents wouldn't even move. 

The crust finisher is a nice touch as well. I elected for the "everything bagel" option which throws in a mix of dried onion bits, poppy and sesame seeds, slivers of cheese... like an everything bagel. To keep all these crumbly things somewhat atop the edges of the pizza, they apply a healthy drizzle of honey... which I have to mention because a taste of honey mixed with almost any salty sliced pork atop a pizza... truly excellent. You don't want to over do it, since honey will make your pie extremely sticky (as it did occasionally here) but the combination is purely delightful when you've got a straight-forward single topping pizza. Meanwhile the bagel seasonings give the crust some much needed presence beyond that hollowness within.

---

Overall! Hmmmmm. Even before trying this again (it has been a few years don't forget) this was kind of a losing situation for Maker Pizza as far as I saw them. See, I'd still listed them extremely highly on my Top Toronto Pizza Ranking (they were #3 if you don't care to scroll down through 105 places) and that was based on my visits to the original Cameron location in 2018 (which has a much larger menu and allows you to build your own creation). There was basically no chance for Maker to climb the list here (Descendant and Defina are essentially 1A and 1B in my opinion) while certainly plenty of opportunity for Maker to fall down the list considering the very strong options nipping at their heels. Not to also mention my theory of when a restaurant expands, their quality tends to thin out at least somewhat.

Alas, Maker Pizza will be losing that #3 slot. However, I do still recommend them quite highly. It's a tasty pizza with great toppings and everything beyond the chewy crust was simply excellent. This particular pizza I would only suggest if you can't get enough pepperoni... it was a little too much for me (not like it's roasted garlic, after all) but I can appreciate the craft and high quality of everything going on here. I think previously I'd given Maker an 'A' grade but this here is more of a 'B++' or marginal 'A--'... which would drop them more into the 10-15 range on my list than comfortably Top 5 in Toronto. Hey, it's a tough list. 

Also... holy damn have they gotten expensive. My second attempt to review them for the TT fell apart once I walked in and saw the prices: that's 24 bucks for the 12" pie you see above... plus an extra five for the dip and the crust stuff. Definitely some points docked there. Still, they are very worth checking out if you've never been. Maybe bring a friend, though.   

 

Burnt Ends -- I was up north all weekend and free from my computer, so haven't really been writing much this past week. So... have some re-shares! If you missed it, here's my piece on the Spoon discography, and last week's look at Torisho fried chicken (definitely check them out. Damn good).

 

Lonely Islands -- As I'll continue to say endlessly, about 90 percent of what BlogTo publishes is pure junk. That remaining ten percent though occasionally rises above the sludge to provide some fascinating tales about the city, and this reposted piece by the departed historian Doug Taylor is a wonderful read... a passionate tale of his father and uncle arriving in Canada and attending baseball games at the old stadium on Hanlan's Point, complete with photos from the era. It's just great.                           

Buried Bridges -- If you're more into city infrastructure, here's something in case you were wondering about those weird "sorta bridges but sorta not" running along those streets that go overtop the subway line between Bloor and Summerhill. 

 

Pizza Parties -- Sigh... yeah I couldn't let this one slip past, especially in a review where I went on several paragraphs about a pizza with just pepperoni on it. 

It's another one of those BlogTo galleries, which completes this trifecta of surprising intrigue from them this week. 50 Toronto pizzas! All with pictures! Perhaps don't go through this one while hungry (or maybe do?). Anyhow, for the record I've tried 34/50. I know, I know.... what a slacker.     

This Week's No Context Looney Tunes Image --

 

 

Tuesday Tune -- A band I got into in the September of 2018 when my apartment didn't have electricity for about a week. This seriously happened. Wasn't working a whole lot that summer and fell behind in my bills, so off it went! Do not recommend. Anyhow, I had to charge my computer in the laundry room and since I didn't have internet (or lights, or anything kitchen related) I listened to a lot of this band as I had just downloaded a couple of their albums. A weird time and year of my life to revisit, but I do like the guitars and atmosphere of this song.

 

 

That's all for this week! After a wicked weekend up north it's back on the chain gang for me, but there's still plenty of summer left and plenty more places to review. Until then, stay safe, don't let the sun get you too much and definitely do not spill that mustard. 

 

The Tuesday Taste: Torisho Fried Chicken

 

You don't need us 

to tell you what to do

Remote control your fate 

as it bears down upon you 

Secrets reveal themselves

outside the lines

Calling the names out

of who puts in the time

 

Another Tuesday, another Taste! This week, we're diverting away from North American style cuisine and into another overseas import from an island nation across the Pacific ocean. It's Torisho! 

While they haven't arrived in Canada/Toronto with the same hooplah as Filipino export Jolibee did a few years back (lineups around the block), Torisho is a (mostly) take-out fried chicken chain with a substantial presence in Japan. Originating in Osaka (known for its street food scene), the story of Torisho seems to begin when business owner Kiyoyuki Nagoshi noticed the consistent long lines outside his friend's fried chicken stall, despite there being several other chicken options in the immediate area. Presumably (Torisho's Canadian website doesn't say any of this and I could only find one interview with Nagoshi translated to English) they joined forces/there was an investment involved with his friend, and soon this special recipe was expanding to multiple take-out stalls in Osaka and eventually throughout Japan. 

Expansion to North America was surely imminent (Nagoshi comes across as very globally ambitious in that interview) and indeed it was. First was a location in Long Beach, California, opening late last year. Sticking with that beach theme... the very first Canadian location happens to have opened in the Beaches neighbourhood here in Toronto. Which is where I come in! 

Torisho Beaches is an extremely new addition to the Queen East stretch, finally opening (after much online teasing) in late-June. Early one typically humid Toronto summer afternoon, I set course with only a vague idea of exactly where on Queen Street East it was... discovering their small storefront tucked in about three blocks further west than I'd thought. 

To my unexpected fortune, they were featuring a quartet of discounted specials for the ongoing Beaches Jazz festival. Thinking with my stomach (which I think we're all guilty of on occasion), I ordered two of these specials: their chicken katsu sandwich (my initial intended choice), plus a combo of four pieces of their Momo fried chicken with two potato beef croquettes.

 

         

Starting with the chicken sandwich, I was semi-concerned upon seeing it contained two separate pieces (I recall trying Popeye's flounder sandwich that did the same thing, very awkward). Thankfully, Torisho has the good sense to pair theirs together horizontally instead of side by side. Not that it would really matter either way... because hot damn this sandwich is truly something. Breaking down the components: you've got your flat fried chicken(s), pickles, some coleslaw and tomatoes on top and a lemon-peppery mayo prominently slathered throughout. Even if the chicken were merely ordinary, these toppings work so well and harmoniously together: the slaw and mayo giving a sweet creamy crunch, the pickles a slight tang and sting, while the tomatoes are tomatoes. Not saying toppings of this quality and specific combination could save a complete boring dud like Pizza Pizza's chicken sandwich (though geez it sure would make that one somewhat memorable). 

Comparing Pizza Pizza fried chicken to Torisho's though is an insult to the concept of ordering food. This chicken is simply excellent: tenderized and flattened to the point it reminds of schnitzel, yet lacking that particular dry stringyness you can sometimes find on the edges of schnitzel sandwiches that perhaps aren't breaded and fried to order. Actually, this chicken has a softer juicy texture resembling something mass produced like a McChicken... except this tastes legitimately real! No suspicious oily taste in the meat itself, or bites perfectly minced and manufactured to match the bite before and after it... this here finds that right fluctuation in texture and flavour within its own delicious properties. As for the exterior... it resembles a light flaky tempura that crumbles softly but doesn't impose with greasy presence or an absurdly heavy crunch. Nor do you get any bites that are all just breading. There's tasty chicken every chomp you take of this thing, and considering how well the other fixings compliment the main attraction... god damn. 

Can't say completely that it's the best fried chicken sandwich I've ever tried here in Toronto (Chica's and PG Clucks are very different than this but great in their own ways, plus I like the option of spice which was lacking here)... but Torisho may easily be the best chicken sandwich I've ever reviewed. Dave's Hot is interesting and definitely worth trying, but this is another level. Really, really damn good.

 

       

Onto the second special: the boneless Momo chicken pieces and croquettes. Unlike the sandwich, this is dark meat chicken (thighs I believe) and after the wonderful lean tenderness of that first entry the increased fattiness here did throw me off somewhat. Still, these were plenty enjoyable in their own right. You can taste a faint soy-like and sesame marinade on the exterior of these large-bite sized fellas, while the meat itself is plenty soft and juicy in texture. Almost like a well made fancy chicken nugget, with the external softness of a puff pastry. Different, but I liked it okay.

As for the croquettes... let me say that (as someone with Irish and Ukrainian background) it is hard for anything potato to completely disappoint me. It has been done countless times: bad or boring french fries are littered throughout fast food joints that give potatoes no care beyond closing a freezer door. Same with baked potatoes... they can get dull without proper preparation and secondary additions (excesses of butter, sour cream, green onions etc). 

I'm not entirely familiar with croquettes (going in I assumed them to be something akin to a fancy hash brown) and boy-oh-boy did these open my sights. Unlike a hash brown, which is usually a rectangular disc of shredded potato that's fried until it can make white paper transparent, these croquettes had soft mashed potato inside their lightly crispy shell. As I (possibly) mentioned during my Jolibee review, I love making mashed potatoes at home for myself and adding various dairy (milk, sour cream) to them has been my trick to fluffen them up a bit. I've then tried pan-frying those leftovers and have achieved limited success: the crispy parts of the potatoes tasting delicious but the whole operation never stays cohesive and I have to scrape my pan a lot. Clearly I'm doing something wrong, which these Torisho croquettes expertly sidestep (it's called breading and a 'deep fryer' I figure) to genuinely create a dynamic of crispy outside, creamy potato inside... and the contrast is just heavenly. 

They offer a corn or beef filling (I went beef) but you don't notice the beef that much to be honest, and you don't really have to. There are tiny bits of sauteed mushrooms inside also, which are more of a presence via their richness and very welcomed. The creamy mashed on the inside is the attraction of course, wanting to droop out at the first sign of freedom, yet somehow structurally it all holds together thanks to a similar but tighter batter than the chicken sandwich (this is a bit crunchier). Flavour-wise, it's simply hard to describe beyond: tasty lightly fried thing filled with delicious mashed potatoes, plus some beef and mushroom bits. Sometimes that's all you need. 

 

Speaking of simple... overall Torisho is simply fantastic. Coming into this I wasn't exactly certain what made Karaage chicken different or unique amongst other fried chicken options. Still not entirely sure from a technical viewpoint (the marinade seems to be most crucial, were I to guess), but after trying it I can solidly say I enjoyed this immensely. 

For deep fried food this is all very light... you don't get any of that harsh stomach regret or zapped energy from heavy greasiness encasing your very being. There's subtle lemony sweetness and soy saltiness abound but they mix in with the background of all the other flavours and textures dancing about. The Momo chicken bites were good, but I enjoyed the hell out of the sandwich and croquettes... so from that I strongly recommend checking them out. Especially while they still have their specials for the jazz festival until the end of month. I'm closeby and definitely happy for an excuse to go again. 

 

Burnt Ends -- Finally something to report that isn't a food review! Took a while to edit the damn thing (and to stop myself from adding to it) but at long last my look at the Spoon discography is up and posted. 

What's next? Radiohead? (I already wrote some of it a year ago... should probably finish that eventually). Queens of the Stone Age? I have to do a Canadian band at some point... the Hip? Sloan? Broken Social Scene? The options are limitless.

Also, as much as I love David Bowie... that's a big catalogue and there are really only 10-12 albums I'd want to talk about to be honest. I mean... maybe those 80s albums could be fun to throw plentiful jabs at, but then I'd also have to listen to them. Bah.              

 

This Week's No Context Looney Tunes Image --

 

 

(Can't you just hear Bugs Bunny's voice saying this as you read it?) 

 

Angry Jays Rant --  Okay... this isn't exactly angry, nor is it a rant exactly. Hey, it's like 3 AM Tuesday morning as I type this and I'm thinking more about just getting this last part of the weekly review done instead of that horrible display of baseball my unfortunate eyes were subjected to Sunday afternoon.

But subjected they were. What the Blue Jays did on Sunday is just not the kind of stuff you see from a professional team, like ever. Now sure, sometimes you get those odd hilarious plays that bad MLB teams make... such as the clueless first baseman of the Pirates who inexplicably chased Javier Baez (the batter) down the first baseline, or just any of the general weirdness that can happen at unfortunate moments in a baseball game.

Sunday for the Blue Jays though... that was Mr. Burns' famous declaration "Nine separate misfortunes? I'd like to see that!" playing out over the span of a nine inning game. All without the aid of quack hypnotists, questionable nerve tonic, drunken bar fights over British prime ministers or treacherous "Mystery Spots". Instead, you get a ball somehow going through the laces of a glove at the worst possible time, a pitcher becoming Nuke Laloosh with multiple wild pitches (I seriously though Mayza was going to hit the mascot that inning) and a catcher dropping a simple pop-up that (while a tricky play that someone probably should've called him off for) is a catch I've seen made in my various recreational leagues regularly without extreme difficulty. Nevermind that an old playoff nemesis is the one who did in the Blue Jays two games in a row, hitting three home runs in the span of four at-bats (after having a total of four in sixty games beforehand). 

What even am I saying? Is there a point to this sporting diversion in a food review? I don't know. Maybe this 2022 team is cursed? Beats the hell out of me trying to figure this out. An evil curse would explain why the Yankees just never lose anymore (how fun). For a team still with a winning record, the Blue Jays are pretty damn grim and depressing at the moment... a statement that will hopefully look silly in a few weeks time (and not predictive of future unthinkable horrors).

 

Tuesday Tune --- Here's something from a band I mentioned above, sung by their member who always writes the weirder songs. This also came out in 2018, making it one of the most modern choices I've selected for this bit. Enjoy!

 

 

That's all for this week. After what happened here in Canada this past weekend, I'm glad this is called the 'Tuesday Taste' and not the 'Friday Foodie' or something... nobody would be able to read this (and not just because 'Friday Foodie' sounds kinda terrible). Anyhow, stay safe, keep on enjoying that summer and don't spill that mustard.   

          

Ranking the Spoon Albums

 

 

 

Perusing through the discography of a band with a long established career such as this, and then choosing some type of logical sequence... a purely subjective exercise towards particular personal preference to begin with? Well, such a task is significantly easier (and more fun) when the band has a few records you can beat up a little bit.

We're talking complete stinkers that have few defenders among the most steadfast of fans... Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music, Cut The Crap by the Clash, Hyperspace by Beck (had to slip that one in there for myself) or The Beach Boys' all-time notorious flop Summer In Paradise. Obvious nadirs of output that can safely be placed at the bottom of a list without having to subject oneself to analyzing the auditory horrors within those records. Trust me, I've owned The Final Cut in physical form for maybe fifteen years now and have played it a total of twice (and the second time was only for the sake of my Pink Floyd look). 

On the other side of the theory, you have a group like Spoon. A band that mixes up their sound enough for each album to be notably different than any before or after... yet are so consistently adept at doing so to make almost every record interesting. They will still unmistakably sound like themselves, yet this isn't a Ramones situation either where they have one really damn good song they've ended up playing for twenty-five years. Each Spoon record has its own personality, with plenty of intriguing quirks that on their best efforts reveal themselves after even several listens.

How do you rank a discography from a band that doesn't really have a bad record, and a generous handful of damn great ones? That was indeed the Spoon Challenge. I think I got it right, but let's dig deeper and see how I went regardless.  

---

Spoon was formed in 1993 by guitarist/singer Britt Daniel and drummer Jim Eno, who met as members of another Austin, Texas group called The Alien Beats (Eno was a audition fill-in for the original drummer who never showed one day, funnily enough). The Alien Beats collapsed and Daniel began releasing solo material under the stage name Drake Tungsten, featuring a bunch of songs that would later appear on early Spoon records. Within a year, as Spoon, they released an EP called Nefarious, released their debut album a couple of years later (featuring re-recorded versions of songs from the EP) which gathered the attention of Elektra Records. They signed up to produce their second record, A Series of Sneaks. 

After said second record didn't sell as well as hoped, the label dropped the band rather unceremoniously (Daniel would later write and record a pair of B-sides mocking the label exec who had abandoned them). They've largely stuck with independent record labels since, finding enough growing success in the two decades onward that they've become well regarded as one of the more recognizable indie rock bands of the 21st century... with songs appearing in wide released films, Simpsons episodes and live performances on network late night shows. The lineup has shifted over time (never seeming to have anything resembling a permanent bassist) but Daniel and Eno have been the constants since the very beginning. 

They've released ten full length albums, from their debut in 1996 to their latest one just this February. Here's how they stack up next to one another.

 

#10. Telephono (1996)

***

 

That very same debut mentioned above. For what it is trying to do it's an okay record. There's a chaos to the sound and Britt Daniel hasn't quite found his distinctive voice yet. Sometimes he's doing the unpredictable ranting of a Black Francis, vague perplexity of a Michael Stipe or deliberately off-kilter like Stephen Malkmus (Pixies, REM and Pavement are unquestionable influences upon the band at this proto-stage, Pixies especially with a quiet-loud dynamic that becomes predictable on Telephono after a while). Strangely better on later listens, as a few tunes (the noisy opener "Don't Buy The Realistic" and REM-infused closer "Plastic Mylar" specifically) help lay a foundation for what the band will become. Hey, it's a far better creative blueprint than Pablo Honey was. Otherwise though, it's very fundamentally stuck in the time of its mid 90s release without a whole lot to make it distinctive. They haven't found who they are yet. 

 

#9. A Series of Sneaks (1998)

***1/2

 

 

The first step forward, although apparently not forward enough for Elektra Records. Britt Daniel here sounds a lot more comfortable singing like himself, and those distinctive Spoon grooves are beginning to sneak (see what I did there) into things.  

Sneaks is essentially the band testing out a bunch of (mostly) quick ideas: you get the building urgency of "30 Gallon Tank", the ska infused "Quincy Punk Episode" with its distorted punk vocals, a quietly addictive simple groove in "Metal Detektor" and a very late 90s ballady alt-rocker in the closer "Advance Cassette" (the song MuchMusic forgot to play in 1999 for twelve year-old me). Between Telephono and this album, the band released the EP Soft Effects, which hints at their sound stripping away the hoarseness and finding a greater sense of polish.

Some regard this record as an overlooked classic in their catalogue, the band themselves still seem quite proud of it, and I certainly think it's quite good at moments. Not all of it works though and as an album it's a disjointed listen. Quite a few of the ideas don't exactly land or linger as memorable melodies. When it hits though it's simply fantastic, overall a solid effort from a band still very much stretching their wings and figuring out what works and what doesn't. Also, possibly their best album cover.

 

#8. Hot Thoughts (2017)

***1/2

 

 

Their adventure into a modern synth-heavy, Los Angeles influenced (where the band was headquartering at the time) record went a lot better for them than it did for Beck. Sorry Mr. Hansen, but as much as I love ya.... you also made one of the worst albums I've ever heard. Please bounce back soon. 

On that note, if you're heard me talk about Spoon in person, you've likely heard my "Britt Daniel on a bicycle" story more than once, which I still swear is true! It was 2019, I was working the Beck/Cage The Elephant show at Budweiser Stage here in Toronto. Spoon was opening, and ten minutes before they went on stage I saw a blond dude in shades riding slowly around the River Walk on a bicycle. Despite the obvious absurdity of the idea (a pre-gig ritual?) it was definitely Britt Daniel and nobody will ever convince me otherwise.

Hot Thoughts is an odd album in their catalogue. They've ditched the jangly guitars for atmospheric keyboards, electronic beats and modern sleekness... still giving it their own distinctive vibe but there's almost something too clean about it, too smooth on the surface for a band that embraces an off-kilter approach now and again. Still it has plenty of terrific songs: "Do I Have To Talk You Into It" is the most classic type of Spoon tune you'll find here (one you could probably place on any of their more recent albums). The title track is an unsettling opener with its weird droning keyboard as is the simply quiet and spooky "Pink Up" (which gets a bizarre and forgettable reprise as the closing track "Us"). 

The record loses a lot of steam in the second half as some of these songs tend to blend together in their sameness... a rare occasion this very cool band loses points for trying too hard to be cool. It all gets a little too into itself and isn't compelling enough to pull that off.

 

#7. Transference (2010)

****

 

 

The precision opposite of Hot Thoughts, and a very strange record within the catalogue. Where Thoughts is full of studio trickery: layers of keyboard atmosphere and dense sounds... Transference plays like a sparse, live on the floor collection of demos. It can't possibly be true, but a lot of these songs sound like they're being performed for the very first time on these recordings... or even made up on the spot. Hey, Britt Daniel was clearly influenced by the Pixies after all. 

Minimalism is the game here, with Jim Eno's drums mostly stripped to basic two hit beats while Daniel's electric guitar likewise keeps the effects pedals in their boxes. Even the production, without being gruff or anything, gives the sense of a band playing in somebody's living room... the sound is so small and sparse for such an accomplished group. It's a Lo-Fi, bare bones record made by a professional and incredibly tight rock band, and it works because there are plenty of good songs. The frantic buildup of "I Saw The Light", the stomping urgency of "Is Love Forever?", the emotional "Out Go The Lights" or the gritty riff of "Got Nuffin" just to name a few. 

This isn't one of Spoon's albums I go back to as often as others, but I can say the first time I caught them live they were touring this record and these songs work notably better in concert (especially the closing track, which drags on rather repetitively in the studio version). Not a record to play for somebody you're trying to introduce to the band, since it is a grower and the unusual production makes for a confusing first impression. Still an album I like quite a bit, one that occupies a neat place in their history.

 

#6. They Want My Soul (2014)

****

 

 

This is where I differ from popular consensus a bit, as many consider this among Spoon's very best efforts. I agree this is very good, but even after eight years I've never built as strong a connection or enjoyment with it as I have many of their other albums. That can be explained in how I associate Soul with a bizarre transitional period in my life, but then also there are others higher on the list that can likewise claim such a status. 

They Want My Soul came about after a mini-hiatus from the band. Britt Daniel went off to form Divine Fits with Dan Boeckner (A Thing Called Divine Fits is a semi-forgotten fun indie-pop album) and that electro-synth type of sound was definitely still in Daniel's mind when coming back to make this record with Spoon. The addition of keyboardist/guitarist Alex Fischel certainly helped this also: songs like "Inside Out", "New York Kiss" and "Outlier" bring a dark and heavy keyboard groove to the proceedings that they hadn't had before.

There is plenty of that usual Spoon 'working hard effortlessly' style also: the sweet "Do You" (with its excellent music video), the booming opener "Rent I Pay" and another classic buildup-er in the uneasy "Knock Knock Knock". It's all a good mix of what the band had already established they were very good at, with the beginning of their diversion period into the more atmospheric stuff Hot Thoughts is filled with... only that the way they did it here doesn't dominate the spirit of the proceedings. 

 

#5. Girls Can Tell (2000)

****1/2

  

The real "big step forward" and where ranking these records becomes extremely difficult. You could argue this is in fact Spoon's best album and I would hardly dispute that claim. It certainly might be their most important: the one that gave them enough exposure and recognition (on an indie label no less) to keep going as a band after Elektra screwed them over.

Girls Can Tell is simply an wonderful record, filled with memorable songs front to back and the flow between each track is pristine. The transition from the lamenting "Lines In The Suit" into the lightheartedly sentimental "Fitted Shirt" just moves so naturally. You also get the very rare Spoon instrumental ("This Book Is A Movie"), a relatable breakup song ("Anything You Want") and the eerie closer "Chicago At Night", a leftover from the Drake Tungsten days and one of my favourite tunes they've ever done. Play it when you come to Toronto, won't you.

Britt Daniel has described Girls Can Tell as the first time "we felt we could make a record without the wheels on the cart falling off after" which definitely shows. Gone is the sporadic "throw this at the wall and hope it becomes a hit" approach of Sneaks... replaced with a consistent elegant pop groove that has become a trademark of Spoon to this day. There's a lot of electric piano on this record and it makes you feel like you should be drinking a cocktail in a smokey neon lounge somewhere. Incidentally, of all their records this might be the best one to play at a party.   

 

#4. Lucifer On The Sofa (2022)

****1/2

 

 

The five years between Hot Thoughts and Lucifer represents the longest gap between Spoon albums. As it happens, the majority of Lucifer had been completed by March 2020... I think we all know what happened shortly afterwards.

Feeling they preferred the live versions of their songs over their studio counterparts, the band returned to their original homebase of Austin, Texas to try and capture a different vibe than previous albums. While unable to record in the studio because of lockdowns, Daniel occasionally drove from Texas out to Los Angeles to work with Alex Fischel on some of the new songs, something he (Daniel) said inspired him greatly... "just being out in the wide open world". Indeed, many of these songs have a rather expansive sound to them, whether it be the star gazing ballad "Satellite", the adventurous "Wild" or superbly catchy "My Babe", which builds from something akin to a midnight walk through a garden with your sweetheart into a full fledged hard rocking ode. 

The album brings those hard rockers too, which is certainly welcome after the moodiness of They Want My Soul or impenetrable atmosphere of Hot Thoughts. "The Hardest Cut" swaggers it's way into an addictive hook, the chaotic "On The Radio" brings back Britt Daniel's distinctive wail... while other tunes like the sleazy "Devil and Mister Jones" or the odd seduction of the closing title track (which would also slide perfectly into Girls Can Tell) are all typical seductive Spoon hooks, underlining the greatest strength of this album. It's not exactly a return to their roots, as this album is far too grand or modern for that... rather it's more of a return to the specific things they do really well: catchy grooves, wild guitars, interesting melodies and their trademark mix of style and substance (with notably more of the latter than any of their 2010s output).

It's an incredible record, deep with little touches and nuance that reveal themselves further upon each listen. I can't get enough of it, personally. Just an absolute winner.

 

#3. Kill The Moonlight (2002)

****1/2 

 

  

My introduction to Spoon, and I suspect the same for many others as well. While I can happily take credit for turning many of my friends onto this excellent band before they were a known-ish act, it was a childhood friend of mine who first brought them to my attention. We were early in high school, slowly drifting apart as sometimes happens at these intersections of life. He came over to my mum's house with a new CD by some band I'd never heard of with an odd name (taken from a Can song it turns out). He played it twice on my stereo and I didn't react much to it that evening. A long while later, I found one of those songs stuck in my head... some unforgettable piano lick... and I realized I really liked this. The album was Kill The Moonlight, and the song of course was "The Way We Get By", arguably their most iconic tune.

Moonlight, Spoon's fourth album, builds upon the melodic progress of Girls Can Tell but eliminates the lush pop melody for empty space, stark beats and sporadic scrambling effects. The opening track "Small Stakes" describes this approach perfectly: that staggered drum loop kicking in, the oddly distorted riff droning through the song while Daniel's vocals come in and out through various delay effects. 

A lot of the album plays like snippets of songs, as though the band decided instead of a "beginning progressing towards an ending", to just record various middles of concepts. Thing is, it works brilliantly. Britt Daniel is a noted fan of Wire and in a way this is an elegant homage to their classic post-punk record Pink Flag. The songs on Kill The Moonlight that play like full fledged songs ("The Way We Get By", "Jonathon Fisk", "Don't Let It Get You Down", "All The Pretty Girls") are among the very best the band ever recorded... while these other 'snippets' still leave lasting effect despite their minimalism. The longing romanticism of "Paper Tiger" hits you with its naked emotion within all that glitchy weirdness, or the marvelous "Stay Don't Go" which somehow creates a successful beat from a loop of somebody saying "ooh! ah! Oo oo ah!" 

The record loses some steam with the final three tracks, particularly the vague closer that seems too intentionally a finale... which is a minor shame considering the sheer brilliance of the front nine. Still an undeniable landmark album in modern indie rock, one that still surprises even two decades later.

 

#2. Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga (2007)

*****

 

An unbelievably tough call to place this one short of the crown. A listen to this album instantly teleports me to Summer 2007 and those transitionally odd feelings that come when you're about to leave your teen years behind forever. 

The album though is nearly flawless. 2000s Spoon gradually began using more and more piano (something Britt Daniel said he was initially reluctant to do, not thinking it'd be "cool") and the two first tracks of Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga are entirely driven by that instrument. "Don't Make Me A Target" is essentially if you looked up Spoon in a musical dictionary, but then that anxious piano of "The Ghost of You Lingers" while Daniel's muffled vocals sing from some other earthly plain... it haunts in a way such a title would suggest. The record thankfully lightens up after that initial intensity, with the light delightful pop of "You've Got Yr Cherry Bomb", the unforgettable funky bass hook of "Don't You Evah", the teetering "Rythm n'Soul" (which sounds like a leftover from the previous record), or the sly "Eddie's Ragga". 

Most casual fans of the band will probably know "The Underdog", which is probably my least favourite track on Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga. It's a perfectly fine tune, and the novelty of Spoon bringing in a trumpet section is amusing. The real highlight of the latter half though is "Finer Feelings" with its twisting and turning melody, soul-bearing chorus and sneaky groove. An overlooked gem hidden behind a grand parade of jewels.

The album itself is truly a consolidation of Spoon's powers, with uniquely great melodies, odd effects, successfully off-balance left turns and a band delivering it all as tightly as anybody. Until Lucifer, this was their last album playing things mostly straight before diving into concepts and experimentation... and arguably this is still their peak fifteen years later. 

 

#1. Gimme Fiction (2005)

*****

Not that Spoon is a concept album band by any measure (in fact I can't think of many bands less likely to do such a thing) but Gimme Fiction comes as close as they possibly could. While many of their records feature a consistent theme (the retro loungeiness of Girls Can Tell, the raw lo-fi atmosphere of Transference, the grand scope of Lucifer, the spookiness of Hot Thoughts etc), those albums still all feel like a collection of songs merely played within that particular sensibility. Gimme Fiction instead plays as a cohesive journey: something beginning in a specific place and taking its twists and turns but never losing sight of the path. Even the Famous Song(tm) "I Turn My Camera On" slides into place early within the natural flow of it.

There is a lot of sweeping instrumental space on this record, notable for a band that tends to like minimalism oftentimes. Songs like the opener "Beast and Dragon Adored" (which adds to the cohesive journey/narrative feel here by lyrically referencing later songs on the record) or "My Mathematical Mind" are grand compositions loaded with collages of sound. Meanwhile, the two irresistible extended sorta-jams near the end ("Was It You" and "They Never Got You") have little touches and textures within their repeating melodic simplicity (like the opening and closing rainstorm on "Never Got You"). Even the more conventional rock tunes, such as "Sister Jack", the closing "Merchants of Soul" or the jittery distant groove of "I Turn My Camera On" aren't merely here just for a good time... there's an intense emotional unease among all of them. Britt Daniel himself has some thoughts on the making of Gimme Fiction, and it's fascinating to read his mindset song-by-song in regards to it (such as how the cryptic "Merchants of Soul" isn't really about anything, it turns out).  

Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga is the more accessible listen, but Gimme Fiction in my mind is the richer piece of music... a record that dances with apocalypses, sentimentality and (in Daniel's own words) emotional distance. They pull off these heavy ideas without the music bogging itself down because the band knows how to capture this introverted mood subtely: the classic Spoon formula of inventive and groovy melodies. In the seventeen years since its release, Gimme Fiction has begun to be looked upon as an indie-rock classic... an appraisal that is well deserved. Simply a uniquely marvelous record from a uniquely marvelous rock band.

 

I got a feelin' it don't come cheap

I got a feelin' and then it got to me

It took it's time working into my soul

I got to believe it come from rock and roll

 

 

 

They're playing in Toronto this year, August 26th. Hope to see you all there.