We are back onboard the pizza reviewing train with a relatively obscure option, very inconspicuously located near the slanted intersection (it's like standing on a teeter-totter in the middle of two diverging inclines) of Gerrard and Woodbine.
I'd first heard of Blue River from a co-worker during a typically not-busy Argos game last fall. She lived around the corner from there and said it was much better than any nearby option, especially the eastbound Domino's up the Gerrard hill (going up a hill for Domino's? That's no way to live, people). Hilariously, for whatever reason I began thinking the name of the place was "Blue Wave", and ironically I also cannot remember the name of this particular co-worker either. Yes indeed, mine is a very precise type of foolishness.
Anyhow, I'd forgotten about this pizza joint completely until talking with a couple of my softball buddies one recent evening, who also live in that area (once again I kept calling it Blue Wave despite being corrected at least once). At this point, with multiple in-person recommendations, the time had come to actually try them. On a rare day off I took a long walk out to Gerrard and Woodbine, looked around and there they were on the south-side very close to the corner.
The thing with Blue Wa-I mean River, is that from the outside this looks as little like a pizza place as you can imagine. I mean sure, it looks more like a pizza place than say, a hot dog stand or a shoe store... but picture in your mind what a typical pizza joint looks like. It's probably going to be something like a greasy spot with old white tiles, an elegant looking Italian restaurant, or something that looks faux-retro and hipstery (or possibly some combination of all three). Instead, from the outside Blue River looks like a dive bar you could pass by a thousand times without a second thought (and not one of those "faux dives" somewhere like Dundas West would have)... with dim yellow windows, not much obvious signage or decoration, and an awkward entrance.
Well appearances can be deceiving! Never judge a book by its cover, because Blue River on the inside... looks exactly like a dive bar. You've got the generic tables, no carpets, not a lot of colour to the place, a pair of older regulars sitting at the bar drunkenly rambling incoherently (it was 6:30pm!)... but hey it was quite bright in there at least!
None of this matters, obviously. If anything what threw me off the most was the inside part of the entrance being roped off by stanchions, like this was still the sad scary days of 2020-2021. Regardless, I was very hungry so I ordered a pizza and some chicken wings (there was a 10 dollar special for the wings), then watched those (frustrating) Blue Jays on the television until my order was ready.
I'll be brief with reviewing the wings, since this is a pizza article and there isn't much to say here anyhow. They're serviceable. A bit on the smaller side, chewy, less juicy and or crunchy than is preferred... but they are plentiful, the 40 Creek BBQ sauce (they have plenty of other options also) is very smokey and tangy, and despite the chewiness they are nicely cooked throughout. You could definitely do worse for ten bucks, and I've much worse at much higher prices. Decent-ish.
So yeah, I definitely like my spicy Hawaiian pizzas. Salt and Tobacco out in Cabbagetown is probably the best version of this style I've encountered, but this here by Blue River provided a fresh take on it. Topping-wise this was a very loaded choice. You've got the typical Hawaiian pizza elements: ham, pineapple, then the spicy element with the jalapenos... but in addition here you've got a bit of bacon (its crumble but ah whatever) and the real unusual element: a drizzle of BBQ sauce cooked in with the pizza.
There are a lot of flavours and textures here and they're all fighting for control here, despite a natural harmoniousness between the theories of those flavours (pineapple and BBQ for sweet, bacon and ham for salty and pepper for spice). Add in the heavy dough and cheese of this pizza and those individual flavours do all fade into the blend of this aggressive mix.
That said, this is still a perfectly solid pie. It reminds me of Pizza On Fire just in terms of the thick and low-key composition (and way less oily), only a couple of steps below that very impressive level and combination of flavours. The BBQ drizzle is a nice touch and does work, but it completely overshadows the actual tomato sauce to the point I can't even recall its taste beyond the sweetness of that BBQ. This definitely isn't a greasy pizza, the bread has some nice soft crunch to it when fresh (definitely needs a dip once cold or on a reheat) and it's basically just a simple (despite all the ingredients on this particular featured pie) standard thick-ish pizza executed with good skill and care.
Overall! Yeah... I probably don't like this as much as those who recommended it to me, but that could very well be a result of having tried so many superb pizzas in the past few years... and this particular thicker style isn't usually my preference (I do love deep dish, which is much different than this of course). I'd genuinely say Blue River is a lot like Domino's except done well, with better taste, lasting flavours, actual reheatibility, and not overcooked to hell (this River pie was a bit overdone but not to the point of the cheese being tough or dry to chew through).
Grade-wise... on my scale it's somewhere between a B-- and B- ... I'm sure I'll try them again soon and have a more definitive conclusion (especially on a pizza with more minimal toppings)... but as it stands this isn't a "you simply must try this" destination but I was impressed enough to look forward to my second visit.
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