This Week In Pizza: Loblaws

 

 

 

We've been on a winning streak lately with pizzas... time to punch downward a little bit.

Might have gone too far in that direction, maaaaaaybe just a bit. Hoo boy. I've considered doing a special review one day of well known frozen pizzas and pitting them against each other... and now I suppose I have to (despite this one technically not being frozen upon purchase).

There's not much to dive into here beyond that this is some damn weak stuff. It looks decent, sure, how could a pie loaded with this many meats not be... and those meats are indeed the only redeeming element here. The pepperoni is generic and greasy, but the sausage chunks actually have some modest pepperiness to them and that is indeed real bacon hidden in there (and somewhat juicy, though it dried out badly on the reheat). 

The rest of this? Bad. Bad! The cheese has this gooey, plasticy taste that reminds me of processed cheese (which I've never been a fan of anyhow). It melts well, but it tastes like nothing even resembling mozzarella or any kind of cheese. Same with the tomato sauce... there just isn't anything flavour-wise, no acidity or sweetness, no sting... it's just kind of there (and there definitely are some large pockets of it). Existing only as tomato-like texture, because it's a "pizza", obviously.

I suppose I shouldn't have been expecting much, but even my low-ish expectations suspected something in the "C" range. Instead? This is some Pizza Pizza level stuff. Cardboard flavours, fake cheese, uninspired tomato sauce, bizarre crust (much like a frozen one with its lack of breadiness and awkward stale crunch)... like Pizza Pizza you only get some pleasant taste from them meats adorning the top, and it can semi-satisfy when fresh... but beyond that? Super weak, and not a whole lot else going for it.

Fortunately I got this pizza for a half off price, which still added up to around five bucks and if another similar opportunity came along? I wouldn't bother. It's not completely horrible or offensive (it only offends by its blandness) but the lack of flavour and weird textures make it all a waste of precious pizza time. Firmly a "D-". There are surely better pizzas available in the supermarket, frozen or otherwise.