There's holes up in the sky
The devil punched down
to the monkeys
And now they've got drive through
And a video store
where there used to be
real live actors
Another Tuesday... another Taste! Yeah it's been a while, and as such all I'm going to say for now is: fuck November.
With that necessary venom out of the way (don't worry there's plenty more later)... lets talk food. Mayday Burger is a spot I happened upon rather accidentally: while trying to plan my visit to the first Shake Shack in Toronto I noticed there was another burger joint on the same block, held in considerably high regard by Google Reviews. I probably saw an Instagram ad that furthered my awareness of them and honestly... IG ads have indeed made me aware of places to review that I would not have known about otherwise (for better or worse). Surely nobody likes this current age of constant advertising bombardment... but an ad that informs you of a potentially good burger restaurant? Completely acceptable... hell, I'd say a positive addition to our bizarre modern society.
That burger joint is, clearly if you've read the title, Mayday Burger... self-described as an "ultimate burger rescue" (their logo is even a burger on wheels). Lord knows after the month I just had (again.... fuck November) I could certainly use any kind of rescuing, so lets see what Mayday is all about.
The internet is rather mute on any kind of backstory for Mayday Burger, so short of actually emailing them and asking (which I am certainly not in the mood to do, plus incognito is my modus operandi)... all you get are my wild estimations and conjecture. Just like old times!
From what I can glean, Mayday has been open for a little over a year at their current little shop near Dundas and Yonge Street (they're basically right next door to the legendary Imperial Pub) and seem to be related in some capacity to nearby dessert spot Pass The Syrup (they might even share the same address? I'm in this area so rarely that frankly I have no clue what's going on... all I know is that it looks drastically different every time I head down there).
As mentioned, it is a very small space: just the four stools at the window counter you see in the photo above provide any kind of "in-seat" dining. Considering the hustle/bustle of this part of town, the campus of TMU on one side and the artificial city centre of Dundas Square and Eatons on the other (speaking of advertisement bombardment)... this is indeed a prime location for grabbing food on the go and a smash burger and fries certainly fits that description.
I made my order: a single cheeseburger (my thoughts on double patties have been made clear in previous reviews) with an full helping of fries, plus two side sauces... and unlike the (I suspect) majority of their patrons I instead took one of those very same unoccupied stools by the window.
While I waited, several delivery workers came in and out, a few various folks getting food to go, and a young lady (I'm guessing a TMU student) took a seat at the same counter beside me with an order of waffles and ice cream (looked pretty good, although they were out of a cherry sauce she requested). While the window/vantage point is small, nevertheless it was exceptional for the quietest of hobbies: people watching.
While I normally prefer to go into these reviews blind (as in with as little knowledge of the food as possible, not actual blind by putting two eye patches upon my face) during the course of my pre-research of Mayday I couldn't shake a Reddit comment out of my objectivity. To paraphrase the assessment: the burger was exceptional, but the fries simply "meh" and "frozen tasting".
Well, here are those same fries and having now sampled them for myself... definitely a few steps above "meh". If ever frozen, and frankly usually I can tell but not always... these lack that obvious flat pre-frozen flavour.
I quite liked them: like if McDonald's fries actually resembled potatoes. Nothing mind-blowing... a shoestring fry thinness, lightly salted (with a fairly generic cajun seasoning as a decent little touch) and a consistent light crispiness that held together even once the heat of the fryer had evaporated. Plus, the portion was rather massive... two dipping sauces and I nearly ran out of both.
On said subject of dips: on the left is their house spicy mayo, a Gochujang mayo to be precise... meanwhile on the right is their standard cheese sauce.
Starting with the Gochujang, a flavour I personally was not at all unfamiliar with... while the level of heat to the spice isn't much to write home about, nevertheless the taste of it was an excellent dip for these tasty and simple fries. Very much a sweet and sour affair to the taste, with some tingle on the tongue and the necessary creaminess that makes a dip a positive addition. It's certainly different than your typical spicy and immediately smoky and sharper chipotle-like mayo kinda thing that seems quite in vogue with many similar burger joints: rather this has a notable sweetness and tang which is commendable at the very least for thinking outside a usually predictable box. Thumbs up.
The cheese sauce? Yeah... kind of a let down. Very much a relative of your "7-11" nacho cheese dispenser that one smothers stale nacho chips in at 4am inbetween binge watching sitcoms and bong hits. No offense intended to anyone partaking in such behavior... been there plenty of times... but it isn't the most subtle of culinary intake is my general point. This cheese sauce here, it's a notch above that pure plastic-flavour but very much a slightly better off cousin of it. A paid for condo downtown, if you will... and hey nothing wrong with that fake-cheese flavour and this is a decent variation of it, but like a plastic condo downtown it's just never been my thing.
How about the main attraction, the Mayday Burger itself? As this has been a summer/autumn of consistently trying new-ish smash burgers here on the Tuesday review show, and we have done some damn good ones... Mayday is indeed another burger in that same flattened style.
And indeed, the run of success continues as Mayday is one of the better ones in this Toronto smash craze.
Not the best: I'd still take Harry's Charbroiled over this quite comfortably... but Mayday makes a legitimately damn good burger. The hearty portion of nicely melted American cheese (not a fan of plastic cheese as a sauce, but I love it on a burger) really helps give it that classic "cheeseburger" taste: greasy beef smothered in semi-real tasting cheddar cheese, with the lettuce and pickles adding the necessary and secondary veggie presence. Their "Mayday Sauce" is a standard burger sauce: relish mustard and mayo, and is not much of a factor here regardless. Nevertheless, this Mayday cheeseburger is a pleasure and a well executed take on a classic.
Replicating a well known classic can only get you so far without the actual quality to do the concept justice, and while Mayday has a bit too much of a "grill/charred" flavour to my personal tastes... the strong quality and preparation of the beef itself is undeniable. It is greasy only in flavour not texture (truly the more ideal kind) holding plenty of consistent tenderness and juiciness within the patty... there's a certain taste within a frozen beef that is nearly impossible to shake and this certainly is not that.
Considering that heavy hint of grill flavour in here, I'd like to call this one of the best "dirty burgers" I've encountered. Leap to your own conclusions what that actually means (especially if you're thinking the latter part of Trailer Park Boys first run) but I mean it as a strong compliment. Simply... it's a dirty taste: greasy in all the best ways upon a palette, with a soft un-grilled bun just there to optimize that particular sensation. You taste the char and the grill.
Essentially... they've picked a particular burger lane and definitely know what they're doing with it.
Overall! It's good to be back and even better that this comeback review is of such a competent quality. Mayday makes a darn good cheeseburger and I do give my recommendation. Best in Toronto? Rescuing the very concept of it? Ahhhhhh... nah like I said, the heavy char-hint of the taste isn't quite for me and so there are quite a few I'd choose over Mayday.
Considering that, I'm still strongly recommending them... a tasty burger is a tasty burger and that was indeed my experience. Filling as well, considering I only got a single (the basket of potatoes they gave as a portion of fries probably helped as well). Those same fries, like I said, aren't really a "must try" but they do the job. Meanwhile the main attraction, a greasy tasty cheeseburger... definitely delivers on the promise. An enjoyable rescue to a cheeseburger craving, that is for certain.
---
Dear Doug
All right... time for the real venom.
It's been a month since I published a review (an objectively fucking terrible month at that)... I've been holding/saving back some rage and there are few more deserving targets than the nasty cretin in charge of Ontario.
Now... I am an avid cyclist of course and you can reasonably argue the virtue of bike lanes on the major downtown arteries Yonge Street or Bloor here in Toronto (of course I disagree, and that removing them to add more lanes for cars is not going to solve our traffic issues, according to every single goddamn urban study and example that simply isn't how this works... more room for cars means more drivers... maybe our endless condo construction has something to do with road congestion??? but fine).
No, the fact that this provincial government, already constantly stepping on our toes to micromanage Toronto and circumvent the authority of local officials we elected... passes a fucking bill making it illegal to file a lawsuit against their own government in case somebody is horribly injured or killed as a result of removal of these bike lanes? Isn't that as obvious an admission of guilt as it gets? "Hey, we're doing something that we are slyly admitting might jeopardize people's lives... so screw you! We aren't culpable because... shady law we just passed within a week of this move! Now you can't even get restitution if a loved one or you are severely injured!" Disgusting. Just purely... fucking... disgusting. What the fuck are we doing here, people.
Fuck them. Into the sun. This is evil behavior, full stop... they couldn't give two shits about you or traffic or anything... it's a political stoking of the "cars versus bikes" stupidity and a distraction from the even more terrible things they're doing to this province. And they know they're getting away with it. Please please please vote these assholes out of office whenever the next election is.
Vote. Fucking vote! Come on people! It takes 15 fucking minutes of your day! The last provincial election turnout was pathetic... and well if enough of you don't care about democracy then I guess we deserve what we get. Except... nobody deserves Doug Ford. No.... fucking... body. Beers on me if somebody kicks him in the crotch... although it might be a tough aim as I suspect it is an extremely small target.
I've had enough of being remotely civil about this. These goons don't deserve anything approaching that level of respect. I'm sick of biking past Ontario Place and seeing the results of apathy and bad faith arguments. Voting matters. Throw these corrupt greaseballs back into the garbage bin they belong in and never should've been allowed to crawl out of.
....
....
...still a good cheeseburger though. Good job Mayday.
Burnt Ends
You're still with me? Good golly... genuinely I hate spitting such poison like the paragraphs above... I try my very best to be a positive fella and such things are already difficult when severe depression tends to constantly disrupt your attempts at positivity. It surely does not help the battle when rationality or basic human decency appears to be entering the realm of ghosts worldwide. South Korea! Just this morning. Do not take democracy for granted and do not follow any leader who believes they're above such things, ever. Guarantee 99.9 shits out of 100 they care nothing about your issues.
Geez it appears I'm still ranting. Dark times personally and for the world, for real. Legitimately one of the worst months of my life, this November was! Fuck November.
Anyhow... I was still writing a significant amount this horrible fucking month and hell I even finally finished my extended look at the Wilco discography. Also quite a few pizza reviews on the immediate horizon... I guarantee December will be a far more active month here on WC Street. Finish the year strong! Especially in such dark times... and I'm a white male aged 18 to 49, everyone listens to me! No matter how dumb my suggestions are!
Not everyone is so fortunate, duh.
Tuesday Tune
When a terrible month hits you hard and an overall sense of misanthropy seems to dominate (I'm sure none of you noticed)... this particular artist tends to hit the right spot. For the record I am an optimist (gotta believe in something and it might as well be hope)... but geezus fucking god (if such a thing exists) I'm certainly not remotely as optimistic as I once was.
Enjoy this song!
That's all for this week! Sucks to be away for a month... I had some fun and exciting ideas planned out that were related to a hard earned California vacation earlier in Novemeber (In-N-Out review?)... which fell apart in nearly as embarrassing a way as possible. Twice.
Setting money on fire would have at least been satisfying. In-between that, my neighbour upstairs tried breaking into my apartment at 4am, shining a flashlight into my window, while also later threatening to physically assault me that same morning. That was fun to wake up to while you're stressed about trying to catch a flight, which in the end did not end up happening. Wonder why? No shit, I'm not in a particularly pleasant mood.
But we're back here on Tuesdays and lets finish the year strong. As Fox Mulder often said... I want to believe. Here's hoping December is kinder to myself and more importantly to all of you. Stay safe, stay warm, and most of all don't spill that mustard.
And also once again... fuck Doug Ford and fuck November.
