This Week In Pizza: Crudo Pizza and Panuozzo

 

 

Ah bugger, it's time for a crud pizza... at least the place is warning me about the level of quality to expect here and... oh wait, that's not quite right...

"Crudo" from Italian (and Spanish) translates as "raw", usually meaning a dish of raw ingredients and dressings commonly involving seafood. Another example of a restaurant name sounding much more appealing when in a different language: not sure if "Raw Pizza, opening soon!" would garner quite the same amount of buzz...

Raw Crudo Pizza and Panuozzo (which advertises itself as the GTA's first Panuozzo) is a little sandwich shop/restaurant tucked away in a plaza off of Royal York Road just a notch north of Eglinton. Despite the rather obscure location (just a whole lot of houses and wide open space on this north stretch of Royal York) Crudo is a verified sensation, with considerable lineups and wait-times even during the normally lulled hours of mid-afternoon. 

I'd been first told about Crudo last year by a baseball friend and fellow pizza adventurer... and seeing how they are located somewhat close to where we indeed play on Saturdays, clearly my plan became self-explanatory. I gave myself plenty of extra time and made my way through a sweltering sunny afternoon to find this popular joint. At last, on the eastern side of Royal York Road, I found this:

 

 

Success! I walked inside and found myself... inside a Caldense Bakery. Huh? Confused, I went outside, made sure I'd entered through the right door (again hot day, hard to think) and tried again. It was still a bakery, unsurprisingly. 

Quite a quandary. Was this their old location and Google Maps hadn't yet updated it? Had they shut down but recently enough that their sign was still up (more on that later)? Was Crudo a side business operating out of the bakery? Is there a hidden door and this was a "say the secret password" type of situation? All sorts of possibilities ran through my mind. Not wanting this detour before my ballgame to be for nothing, I thought I'd enter through the next door and take a look through, eventually wandering down a long white hallway leading to a back parking lot behind the plaza.

Sure enough, Crudo is actually situated at the rear of the building... with a proper entrance (plus a side one through that same white hallway) and even a decently sized outdoor patio overlooking the, um, parking lot. The inside of the restaurant itself, featuring about a dozen tables, was jam-packed (not the best boost of confidence for my 'finding things' ability) with a substantial lineup of folks waiting just for takeout. 

The atmosphere has a very indoor market/busy bakery kind of vibe: simple tables and chairs, various cutesy decorations on the walls, one long counter where people order on one side while you can watch the cooks up close carve and prepare those enormous sandwiches... plus a general murmur of conversation and movement one gets in such a busy place on a hungry Saturday afternoon.  

I made my order, was informed it would be about half an hour (thankfully I'd given myself considerable buffer time before my game) and seeing no room to even really comfortably stand inside the restaurant, I waited by the curb outside. The timing was starting to pinch me a bit but I managed to sample some of my food (and take some quick notes) before riding quickly to the park. 

 

 

Going in and knowing arancini was on their menu, I knew I had to try some of that. Three fried orbs (plus a portion of marinara sauce) filled with mozzarella, ground beef, peas and carrots... clocking in at a reasonable six bucks.

We need to talk about that marinara because it is bold and beautiful. Bright, lively tomato flavour... finely blended and a little bit chunky in spots. Absolutely exceptional stuff: you can often tell when a place makes something from scratch in-house and I'd be stone cold shocked if Crudo didn't make this fresh semi-daily. 

 

 

The arancini is likewise very tasty. I didn't get much of the beef or peas in here... but definitely plenty of the cheesiness and corny rice all mashed inside, with a pleasantly crunchy light shell of fried rice as an exterior. Sadly I only had time to sample one of these fresh (stupid baseball gam-I-mean go team) and they did not keep the same magic reheating them several hours later in the toaster oven (that once crispy rice shell had become just a bit too stale). Nevertheless these were real damn good on those first much earlier bites. 

 

 

Onto the pizza of Crudo's namesake "Pizza and Panuozzo". "Panuozzo" if you don't know (I didn't) is a term for an Italian sandwich that uses pizza dough as the bread... which certainly seems a rather tidy way to operate a pizza and sandwich place, doesn't it. 

This pie with the pepperoni spilling out from on top of it is cheekily called the "Americana", featuring just fior di latte cheese, tomato sauce and enough pepperoni to rebuild a hog. 

 

 

While an absurd amount of pepperoni no doubt (you can see stacks upon stacks of it here) it is also extremely tasty pepp at that. Not overly salty or spicy, minimal oiliness or grease, it's thinly sliced yet quite tender for what it lacks in crispy edges... and while the sheer quantity of it dominates every bite the flavour of it is much more willing to allow the cheese and sauce into the spotlight as well. A sign of a good pepperoni is when you see this much on here and yet it still feels a tragedy when a couple slices fall off your slice. Frankly, it tastes more like pepperoni one would want on a sandwich than a pizza (though it still very much works on the latter).

 

 

The tomato sauce, like it's marinara counterpart, has an irresistible brightness to its flavour that I quite like... though with a bit more light sweetness. The mozzarella is pretty much your standard 'quite good' mozzarella: melts very well, stays semi-soft throughout and there is just enough of it to be a presence on every bite but not too much to make the pizza a goo-fest. None of that cheap "becomes plasticy-hard once cold" stuff here either. Very nice. 

You get some nice char to the crust, plus the bread (while fresh from the oven) is quite pillowy and soft. Smells awesome too. Flavour-wise, I got a bit of a dry dusty flavour among the flour and corn base. This was more an issue on the reheat as so much of what makes this pizza very good is that fantastic dough baked in-house. It loses a lot once that freshness departs and that dry flavour is amplified once the crust gets more stale. Still totally fine (just dip it in some hummus or whatever) but when fresh it truly is something else on the enjoyment meter.

 

---

 

 

Overall! Sadly between the time I made my visit (mid-July) to the weeks later I'm finally publishing this, Crudo has temporarily closed due to an unspecified incident. By the sounds of it everyone is okay and I won't speculate any further, hopefully they can reopen soon. 

Anyhow, it is extremely good pizza. Very simply done: there isn't a whole lot of nuance to these flavours... the pepperoni is pepperoni, cheese is cheese and the tomato sauce is bright but not hitting your tastebuds with any garlic or oregano and such. It does become a repetitive flavour sure once that second slice comes in, but doesn't lose any of its tastiness. 

While it's far too good to ever become boring, it does lack the extra "ooomph" you find among the truly elite pizzas I've encountered. As is, I'd still recommend checking them out. The texture of the pizza is fabulous because of that wonderful dough baked in house and those simple stripped down flavours are still highly enjoyable. I'll give them a modest "B++" grade, which probably lands them somewhere in the lower back half of Toronto's Top 50.                             

The Tuesday Taste - Matt's Burger Lab

 

 

Lovely lady

mystifying eyes

Lovely lady

She don't tell me no lies

I know I'll never leave ya

I'm never gonna leave ya

anymore

 

Another Tuesday... another Taste! The Unofficial Month of Burgers concludes with our entry this week, a science-meets-culinary (culincience?) franchise with three locations throughout Toronto called Matt's Burger Lab.

As far as I can tell, all three MBL locations opened up sometime between 2019 and 2021... with the multi-floor flagship-like Parkdale one at Queen and Dufferin likely being the first. The internets are stingy on further backstory, although the concept does appear born from co-owner/chef Matt Vilmaz's combining his love of science and food. It is also Halal, and there was a Hamilton location that opened in 2020 (after serious hurdles, unsurprisingly) but seems to have since bitten the dust. 

This does give me some space and excuse to talk about Queen and Dufferin, an intersection that has undergone a massive transformation in the past twenty years. In the mid-late 2000s as a wee lad I was working at the Drake Hotel nearby and always found it so bizarre how Dufferin Street would suddenly end for a block and then restart southward from Queen Street. It made the already brutal rides on the 29 bus all the more colourful. 

Right around the time I left the Drake in 2009, the city had begun correcting this odd quirk. The underpass from the train tracks remained of course, but now there was a north road underneath the bridge connecting the south stretch of Dufferin (rather than just untamed urban wilderness). This, combined with the old plaza on the southwest corner being ripped out around this same time... has made Queen and Dufferin a very strange and unfamiliar intersection. It's been almost fifteen years in its current form and yet to me (an east ender now for the majority of that period) this all feels new and curious.

 

 

Replacing that old plaza is a low-rise building which houses the very Matt's Burger Lab location I visited on a blistering, sunny and windy Sunday afternoon. See, sometimes my long winded rambles actually do tie back together! 

 

 

As mentioned the location is a multi-floor open space flooded with an abundance of natural light (as will happen when most of your walls are windows). Adding to the semi-laboratory test chamber feel of the place are the science-y black and white mural sketches by local artist Mike Parsons throughout. The counter from which to order is upstairs on a little lookout terrace, with a couple of stools directly in front of the air conditioner (you can presume correctly I took a full dose of that on this particularly sweaty day). 

While known for their (quite Instagramable) burger "experiments", MBL also offer a variety of daily specials... the Sunday one being their cheese smash with fries, a drink and two dips. While their Hawaiian smash burger did tickle my curiousity with its spicy BBQ and grilled pineapple... I thought it best to keep things simple for my review intentions. I made my order, chilled in front of that air conditioner and then quickly rode off to work a Cyndi Lauper concert (couldn't leave those girls who just wanna have fun hanging now, could I). 

 

 

Fries and dip! It was so hot this afternoon that these dips were quite warm once I was able to stop and get them out of this silver paper bag. I elected upon their "Lab Sauce" and Rosemary Garlic as my selections. 

The Lab Sauce is... a fairly classic and typical burger sauce. Very mayo and ketchup forward, which is fine (those two do mix very well) without much mustard or peppery sting to it. Sweet and a thicker creaminess. Their Rosemary Garlic dip, however... absolutely stellar. There aren't any bits of rosemary in the dip but the essence of it is completely there, that refreshing fragrant taste matching with a rich garlicky undercurrent very nicely. It's a bit different and absolutely terrific: this would be welcome on any sandwich or as a compliment to any french fry in my humble household. 

 

 

As for the fries themselves... the flavour is absolutely on point but the texture is somewhat lacking. Definitely loaded with terrific potato taste and the seasoning is heavy but simple and not overwhelming. The sweet spot as far as salty fries go. But that texture... sadly these aren't all that crispy and there's a slight firm floppiness to them. 

The fact that they taste so much of real potato definitely saves them. These are fine as far as french fries go but I definitely prefer at least a little bit of crispiness. It gets everything else right.

 

    

It looks less like a burger and more like a floating bun in a sea of beef patty! Visually I'm reminded of a schnitzel sandwich where the circumference of schnitzel is nearly double that to the nucleus of bread.

 

 

Just a simple smash cheeseburger. Pickle, cheese, lettuce. The edges are more crumbly than oily or crispy, the potato bun soft and squishy, with the sauce and melted cheese dripping and plentiful. 

The burger itself is also truly excellent. That crumbly beef is well cooked but has enough moisture not to be all that chewy... while the flavour is just beef, salt and pepper lingering nicely on the tongue. With the good burgers that's all it needs. 

Even once cold (I only had time for a few bites before my shift started) it loses none of it's wonderful taste or texture. A burger like this just tastes like southern California: sunshine, a beach, maybe a surfboard and one of these. That combination of flavours... melted fake cheese blanketed over the crumbly beef patty with the dripping ketchup/mayo... lettuce giving a minor crunch and pickle an occasional zing... it's a classic for a food reason. Extremely enjoyable and, because there's so much flattened beef on this thing... quite satisfying also.

 

---

 

 

Overall! While I was torn on whether or not to recommend the decent-ish Burgers N' Fries Forever... this occasion requires no such deliberation. Matt's Burger Lab is indeed worth checking out if you're craving a smash burger that really brings that extra "oh yeah" (for lack of a better term). Even a single patty has an absurd amount of beef (a sea of beef!) and the seasoning on the burger is spot on. As I find myself often saying in these burger reviews... you know it's a good one when the last bite is as enjoyable as the first.

I was less impressed with the fries, despite tasting pretty good... but they don't call themselves "Matt's French Fry Lab" so it's far from a deal breaker. With all the data collected and tests complete, I think we can call this project a success and inform the public. Check it out!

 

 

Tuesday Tune

RIP to the Prince of Darkness.

 

 

That's all for this week! Like I said, July ended up being an accidental burger month (surely one of the better kinds of accidents). Will August continue the trend? Who knows! I don't! Until then... stay safe, stay cool out there and don't spill that mustard. 

                 

The Tuesday Taste - Burgers N' Fries Forever

 

 

 

"It's the last, great adventure

left to mankind"

Screams a, drooping lady

offering her, dream dolls

At less than extortionate prices

And as the notes and coins

are taken out

I'm taken in

to the factory floor

 

 

Another Tuesday... another Taste! Staying on the burger train, this week I chugged off to try Burgers and Fries Forever, sampling indeed their burger and their fries... but they were all out of forever. Damn it! I want my money back...

Burgers N' Fries Forever (or BFF, a deliberately planned abbreviation surely) started out in Ottawa back in 2013. Founder/owner Jamil Bhuya and his co-founder Evan Ostrander had noticed a dearth of burger options in the Centretown neighbourhood and saw a clear opportunity, experimenting with various techniques until finding the right recipe to bring their Halal smash-style burgers to Ottawa. With the help of Bhuya's savvy social media marketing as well (plus this demonstration on an Ottawa morning show surely helped spread the word) BFF opened to enough success to become a mini-chain in the 613 (I confess to not actually knowing if Ottawans refer to their city that way).

Soon the time came for BFF to try expanding to the big(ger) city, Toronto... which they did in 2020 despite, you know... 2020. Once again riding a moderate wave of success and a strong social media presence, they branched off to a second Toronto location in Liberty Village that opened up... like a month ago? Maybe? I checked the Google Reviews and none go further back than June. 

 

 

Good timing for me! What was not good timing... the Honda Indy. There was a whole lot of noisy revving filling this sunny Friday afternoon that you could hear even all the way up on East Liberty Street. Certainly made it hard to vroom vroom focus on whatever vroom vroom else you were doing that vroom vroom vroom.

 

         

Like I said, burgers and fries but no forever sadly. Their menu (like most of these indie burger spots) is streamlined and simple: a quintet of beef burger options, fries or onion rings, some dips and milkshakes... maybe a chicken option, maybe not (BFF does). Though tempted by the "Melt" (swiss and cheddar cheese, beef bacon and BBQ sauce) I went for their "American" burger, with some fries and their garlic aioli dip.   

Starting with those fries, which are indeed as crispy as they look. Again I'm no expert (or even novice) on this kind of stuff, but I wanna say these were fried in beef fat/tallow? There's a particular taste to them I've encountered many times in other french fries. 

Regardless of whatever it is, these are pretty darn good. Lightly seasoned with just salt, the crispiness is extremely on point (like a slightly firmer crispy), there's a good amount of oiliness but not too much... while the potato within is soft and fluffy. I love fries like this wherein the texture and flavour is strong enough on its own to not even a dip of any kind (those packets of ketchup got nary a look from me). 

 

  

The garlic aioli was significantly less of a hit, although not bad by any measure. I like my garlic sauces to be extremely garlicky (like beyond any level of reasonable sanity) and this just doesn't have anything close to that. It strongly reminds me of the President's Choice brand garlic mayo they sell in those little squeeze bottles... a slight undercurrent of garlic to it but it's mostly just rich and creamy. 

It's fine... but not my kind of thing for a french dry compliment. 

 

    

BFF's "American" burger (single patty) brings a lot of sweet: caramelized onion, ketchup, pickle, soft potato bun (also inherently sweet) and cheddar cheese (there's apparently some mustard in here but I barely detected it). 

The amount of sweetness does dominate the flavour on every bite, though thankfully not to the point of overwhelming. As a burger it's... pretty all right. Good but not exceptional... like what a standard smash burger would/should probably taste like. You've got some enjoyable texture, the beef is consistently cooked throughout, there are some crispy caramelized edges and the whole burger feels quite squishy in your hands. 

A burger that's a bit better than the sum of it's parts, since all of it individually tastes fairly standard/average but it combines for a good cheeseburger. There just isn't any particular element about it, beyond that ketchup and caramelized onion sweetness (those onions are pretty nice) that's especially memorable. It all tastes pretty much the same throughout, that together but crumbly texture holds through... which is fine and enjoyable but it just doesn't ever go anywhere beyond that. At one point (a bite without the soft sweet onions) it reminded me of a really good version of a Wendy's Junior Cheeseburger. 

Last week Atomic Burger blew my mind because the dry aged beef of that burger had so much lingering flavour... each bite worth savouring because that wonderful taste never felt repetitive or boring. The last bite was just as vividly exciting as the first. 

This BFF burger is much more in the realm of "that was tasty, I'm less hungry now..." the end. Solid flavours but they don't have any of that "wow" factor to them. It's an example of the old adage (probably from sports) of "it's much harder to go from good to great than it is from bad to good". Greatness can be hard to quantify exactly but you somehow just know when you encounter it... BFF does not.

 

---

 

 

Overall... a solid but forgettable smash burger. Hard for me to recommend because would I take BFF over any of the big fast food burger giants? Absolutely. But it's also not remotely close to the titans of Toronto smash burgers like Harry's, Rosie's, Rudy etc. It's in a bizarre zone of goodness that won't disappoint and will satisfy... alas there are other options that will provide a much more memorable experience that you'll really want to tell people about.

As such... I guess go try them if you're curious? I can't say you definitely should go, but I don't wanna dissuade you from trying them either. Wait, I got it! Their fries are genuinely terrific... that itself is worth checking out. Bless you potatoes... you're my true BFF...

To finish I quickly want to mention an employee review from Glassdoor, who mentions Burgers and Fries Forever as a good place to work with helpful management, with the only cons being that "after working in the kitchen you kind of smell like a burger". I just find that very funny for some reason.  

 

 

 

Tuesday Tune

One of my very favourite albums when I was seventeen (I've loved Peter Gabriel basically my whole life, seeing him live a couple years back was just... no words incredible) and listening to Lamb again after quite a long long time... yeah it's still an absurdly great record. 

 

 

That's all for another week! Until next time, stay safe, stay cool... and most of all don't spill that mustard. 

 

 

 

 

This Week In Pizza: Il Padre's Gourmet Pizza

 

 

When you've tried nearly a bicentennial number of pizzas in just over half a decade... there really are certain genres of pizzerias that warm your heart more than others. Some places (Hamilton's Cowabunga, Get Well, or the long gone Yeah Yeah's) get the youthful coolness appeal right, wherein their "hipness" indeed comes across as natural rather than cynically forced. Other spots are insanely popular and deservedly so because their pizzas are just that good (Badiali, Prince Street) resulting in the pizza itself being the primary and singular attraction... with lineups every day what else do you need? (though Badiali on Dovercourt does have a nice streetside patio). I've certainly got a soft spot for more unheralded Italian restaurants (Defina, Napoli Centrale, Pizza e Pazzi) that make tremendous quality pizzas but don't get quite the amount of love the more famous ones like Libretto, Piano Piano or Terroni do. 

However I think the softest spot of all has to be reserved for the long standing neighbourhood gem that's been slinging good pies for decades and only the locals really know about it. A place you can walk inside and see a space almost untouched by the very passage of time itself... much like the recipes too. Il Paesano on Brown's Line for instance, Buzz Buzz on Wilson Avenue, Danforth Pizza House, or the now-gone legendary Vesuvio's in the Junction.

Hey, as much as I'll heap endless praise upon the Descendants or Annette Food Markets out there... they don't all have to be home runs, you know? Sometimes a simple little double in the gap does the job too. 

Which brings us to Il Padre's, a corner spot on Royal York and Vanevery Street that has been feeding Mimico residents for at least two decades. On a sunny Wednesday afternoon (before I had to work a Weird Al concert) my close friend/occasional pizza trying associate and I made our way to Mimico... and after a bit of a stroll (encountering an especially unpleasant Karen-esque gatekeeping local) we'd worked up enough of an appetite to split a large pie between us. 

We mused aloud what to settle on as our three toppings, to which the man behind the counter had already begun making the pizza just as our deliberations were complete and I'd gotten up to make the order. He knew even before we did! That's some veteran pizza clairvoyance there, my friends. 

 

 

There is very limited seating (or overall space) inside Il Padre's but fortunately the two of us were able to snag the singular table by the window. After a moderate wait spent glancing around the room at the various plants and old timey gumball machines, out came our pizza (to which the kind fellow behind the counter offered and then generously added a handful of finely shredded parmesan free of charge).  

 

 

The three topping large special came out to exactly twenty bucks, which while not an exceptional bargain this was definitely a sizeable pizza with a likewise hefty amount of toppings on top: Italian sausage, pineapple and green pepper (we debated bacon but didn't want to take any chances on it being a bacon crumble, always a concern in certain pizza joints). 

 

 

Probably the most notable trait of Il Padre's pizza is its distinctive crispness, specifically on the bottom. This led to it losing considerable texture on the reheat (dry and stale) but fresh from the oven that crispness was downright delightful on every bite.        

The scent of it also made an impression in the moment, smelling of sweet tomatoes and peppers roasting in the oven. That sweetness indeed translated to the taste of the pie as well, combined with the firm chunks of pineapple (a good step above the overly sweetened cheap canned stuff) and slight bitterness of the green peppers. 

As for the sausage... just solid. Not particularly greasy or salty or spicy... a bit of light heat and general chunkiness while having a modest juiciness to them.

Solid is a description I could use a dozen times in this review because there isn't a whole lot else to dive deep into here. The mozzarella has a firmness crispiness to it that like the dough/crust doesn't handle the reheat well but is just great when still fresh out of the oven, and there's just enough tomato sauce to be a lightly sweet undercurrent bleeding into every bite but hardly a dominant presence at all. I think the greatest enjoyment one gets from this pie is that wonderful light crunch on every bite, it's a tremendously satisfying texture coupled with generally decent quality pizza elements. 

 

---

 

  

Overall! Il Padre's meets that definition of a classic independent family run neighbourhood pizza spot, the kind you really wish you had in your neighbourhood if you don't (*cough* The Beaches *cough* *cough*). 

It's not quite good enough where I'd say you need to adventure off to the other side of town to try them (unless of course you're some pizza obsessed maniac) but it is... yes to use the term again... 'solid'. Sorry but that really is the most accurate assessment there is for this! That fresh crispness to it is lovely, the place is incredibly charming... as my friend put it "this is the kind of place that a family pizza night was made for". 

All that considered I'll give Il Padre's a lukewarm "B" grade. It hits the spot in a uniquely wholesome way. The unfortunate weakness on the reheat does hurt my overall score a little bit, so it's really a pizza best shared quickly for maximum enjoyment.   

 

  

      

This Week In Pizza: Duke's Refresher + Bar

 

 

In my (impossible) quest to try every reputable pizza in our fair city of Toronto, it is inevitable the journey will stumble upon a corporate restaurant giant or three. 

This is why, if we're talking about Duke's Refresher, we have to mention SIR ("Service Inspired Restaurants"). You've likely never heard of this company in your life but may be familiar with their many various brands: Jack Astor's, Scaddabush (and their horrible pizza), Red's Tavern, The Loose Moose, Canyon Creek... and a now defunct Italian restaurant chain named Alice Fazooli's. 

I don't think I ever went to one... but the downtown Toronto Alice Fazooli's had a solid run on Adelaide Street near John before closing over a decade ago (the same address, once condoified, briefly became Za Pizza Bistro... now it's a dispensary). Alice Fazooli's was one of those restaurant names that had wormed its way into the cavities of my memory, probably via some long lost radio jingle or it's "oooli" annunciation... thus how it sounded so familiar when I saw Duke's Refresher offering Alice Fazooli pizza on their menu. Small corporate world, eh. 

Anyhow, lets talk about Duke's Refresher... of which there are currently two locations: one on Front Street near St. Lawrence Market (it assumed Jack Astor's old spot... really seeing a pattern here) and one on the southeast corner of Queen and Broadview (in the building formerly housing the Brickworks Ciderhouse and more famously The Real Jerk).  

 

      

I wandered in on a Monday around 6:30 in the early evening... which to my misfortune happened to be after Duke's Happy Hour (bah) but even worse, well before their 1/2 price special on all pizzas from 8pm until the end of the night. Bah! I wasn't keen on waiting around for over an hour (had other things to do on this rare day off) so a pizza sans discount it was. 

While waiting I took the opportunity to look around at the curious decor of the place: lots of false wood paneled walls, various signage, arcade machines in the back (seems like any new "hip/cool" restaurant has to have a couple of those now)... the very dictionary definition of a place promising good food, good fun and a whole lotta crazy crap on the walls.   

 

 

Here from the feedbag-I-mean-Duke's Refresher's is their "Chef's Fav", which is their "Great White" pizza only with pepperoni added on. So... what is the "Great White" then? Glad you asked, theoretical reader! It's a grana padano cream as the sauce base, cremini mushrooms, a black truffle cheese (seemingly a Monterey Jack from Bothwell's, a cheesery from Manitoba), mozzarella and... strangest of all... brie. Yeah, brie on a pizza. Tres unusual.

 

 

Lets discuss what this pizza does right, which are a few things. The mushrooms! Quite moist and meaty in their texture (a constant complaint of mine is how mushrooms dry out on so many pizzas). They add to the already considerably rich and savoury flavours that dominate this pie. 

That granda padano (parmesan) cream really is the prevailing taste throughout, which is good! Oily, cheesy and just the right level of sharpness to it. It reminds me of being a kid going to Olive Garden in the States, wherein I was only ever excited about the soft squishy breadsticks that came with a creamy dip very similar to this... that and that alone always excited me (much to the annoyance of my uncle). This crust is likewise rather soft and squishy, though lacking much else in regards to its own flavour. 

 

 

Indeed, this really is a one-trick pizza... though it is a very good trick. It smells sublime when still fresh and hot in the box. Alas the magic does fade quickly from the second slice onward, once you've become accustomed to the mix of those heavy decadent flavours and the pizza has cooled down a bit. The pepperoni, while a smart addition (a needed reprieve from all that cheese) doesn't really provide much beyond some crispy greasiness. Decent pepp but there also isn't enough of it to balance this whole thing out. 

I get a hint of truffle mixed in here (just enough to be a nice touch) and honestly the combination of all these cheeses on this thing make sense except for the one: the brie, unsurprisingly. Don't get me wrong, brie is a delicious cheese with a creamy dry flavour but it really only works on certain things (like with crackers or on a juicy steak) because it melts and oozes out so easily. It doesn't really work in a pizza setting because that dry flavour isn't particularly robust (compared to everything else going on here) and texture-wise it just quickly melts and blends into the other heavier cheeses here anyhow. Not a bad presence at all, just an odd move to have it here on this particular pizza... you hardly notice the brie at all, making me curious what the point of having it at all was. 

 

 

Overall... a strange one to grade because of the diminishing returns. That first slice and a half was terrific (see my Olive Garden nostalgia) and I was thinking I'd found a weird winner here. By the final slice, the dough had gotten a bit stiff and those electric flavours had really lost a lot of that initial potency. Much like my ill-timed arrival between two featured specials, this pizza itself feels stuck in some kind of nether zone. 

 

There are a couple of things I really like about it (the cream base, the mushrooms) but the rest of it is pretty forgettable and ordinary, with little utility once it goes cold. Still, I enjoyed it for the most part and points are deserved for its uniqueness. 

It's a few long steps away from a pizza I'd crave going back for and/or recommend to anybody... but at half price (show up at the right time, kiddos) shared with some friends? You're dancing in the streets. This all feels good enough to get a solid "B-" from me. Plus, the crazy crap on the walls manages not to come across as too tacky (only somewhat).   

               

The Tuesday Taste - Atomic Burger

 

 

One more

weekend

of lights and evening faces

Fast food

living nostalgia

Humble pie or bitter fruit

 

 

Another Tuesday... another Taste! This week we're blasting off to a new burger joint in the eastern quadrant of the Toronto Galaxy... set your phasers on fun because it's Atomic Burger! 

Oh if only I were paid by the cheesy astro reference... that's me seriously reigning it in, folks. 

 

The origins of this latest entry onto the Toronto burger scene actually connects to a Jordanian style diner in Regent Park that closed their doors earlier this year. Fattoush Sandwich Club, opened up by three chef friends from Vancouver during the middle days of the COVID pandemic, was a quaint well regarded spot known for their excellent falafel and various other takes on popular middle eastern cuisine. After a few years operating Fattoush the team decided to shift gears, moving further east on Gerrard to take on the new challenge of opening a (proudly) non-smash burger joint just on the fringes of Toronto's Little India. 

 

 

Atomic Burger had caught my attention both via their Instagram ads (geez it's like the algorithm knows I review stuff or something) and by being located across the street from Greenwood Park where I occasionally play softball on various days of the week (such as the very Sunday I went to try them).

Walking inside you can tell the sparse space was previously an old storefront of some kind (Strickland's butcher shop to be precise). The layout of their mission control is extremely minimalist: little framed artworks on one wall (including a Jetsons poster) with some funky (spacey) shaped cubbyholes on the other wall featuring some merch, cards and other astro-themed delights. Very retro-astro if that's a term that exists somewhere in the universe. 

 

 

Atomic Burger does not have a single seat inside on which to sit (something I wonder if they'll remedy for the winter months when the nearby park is a less appealing spot for eating) so I obviously got my order to go. The incredibly sweet lady behind the counter (who I think may have been one of the chefs/owners) noticed my baseball gear and wished me good luck in my game! Sadly we actually lost (my Sunday team is pretty um... terrible) but at least I had those well wishes and a burger/fries to enjoy before another gruesome defeat. Hey, speaking of that...

 

 

These are Atomic Burger's "Asteroid Fries" with a side of "Atomic Sauce". See, I barely even need to make any corny sci-fi allusions when the names of all their items are doing it for me.

The Atomic Sauce tastes very much like (if it isn't) a ketchup mixed with yellow mustard kind of deal: there's the distinct sweetness and sharpness to it that you'd get from either one, though thankfully both are muted enough (there might be a bit of mayo in there to lessen that) to actually compliment each other rather than clash. As a kid I used to mix cheap ketchup and mustard together as a french fry dip and lemme tell ya... it was a harsh mixture. 

This Atomic Sauce takes the spirit of that and improves on it considerably, as on tasting it again the next day I definitely got more of a garlicky flavour to it alongside the sweet and sharp in the aftertaste. Possibly something tangy, like a BBQ sauce in there as well (maybe instead of ketchup even... it's more that kind of sweetness). 

A sauce that ages like a fine wine? I thought it was pretty solid in the moment, but after a night in the fridge it became incredibly good. Quite intriguing.                    

The fries themselves have a very homemade quality to them. They really really taste of earthy potato and have a noticeable oiliness (I'm no oil expert so I couldn't tell you what type they're fried in... my guess would be vegetable or sunflower). There isn't much fluffiness on the inside of them, rather more of a dry and crispy texture... meaning they go a bit stiff once they go cold. However their crispiness is indeed very enjoyable when still fresh, while the touch of salt is just the precise amount to really pop. Very much a DIY/home kitchen type of fry.

 

   

Tomato underneath the beef patty? Truly this burger is from another galaxy...

Their flagship Atomic Burger is a 5oz dry aged beef patty with your typical fixings of lettuce, tomato, onions, pickle, cheddar cheese and the Atomic Sauce I mentioned above. Considering both their simple space-themed motif and the relative straight-forwardness of their menu and recipes... clearly the intent is to blast your taste buds off to unexplored corners of familiar stars rather than a whole new galaxy all-together. Or something like that.

 

 

Lots of cheese! For a simple burger, this thing packs quite a bit of flavour. The beef itself is wonderfully juicy (there will be some dripping), with a crispy griddled layer on top complimenting the tender ground texture within. It's probably cooked between medium and medium well (very little pink if any) but it's way softer and juicier than that level of cook would suggest. It also holds together extremely well: there isn't any crumbling apart from the ground beef whatsoever despite the crispy layers and it's drippiness. 

The seasoning is also light and simple: salt, pepper... that's all it needs. Exceptionally tasty considering that simplicity, while it lingers in the mouth for a pleasant period of time as well. Clearly they're using some very high quality beef here and preparing/treating it with the tender (see what I did there) love and care it deserves. 

I suppose my singular (and very minor complaint) would be: too much tomato! It's a very thick slice (nearly as thick as the burger patty itself) and I found on certain bites that the tomato was obstructing the amount I could taste the beef. If anything it's another point in favour of how delicious this burger was... I wanted to maximize my enjoyment on every bite of that succulent patty (out of the way, fruit!). 

Everything else on the burger does a fine job in a supporting role. Not entirely noticeable but that isn't a bad thing when the beef tastes this good. I found the shredded lettuce an interesting choice (normally I'd prefer the watery crunch of iceberg but this works too) and the real cheddar cheese on here is nicely melted and blanketed all over the burger, giving a nice bright sharpness on nearly every bite. Likewise the bun: somewhat wheaty, not much of a presence but it is soft and firm enough to do its job more than adequately. 

 

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Overall! While researching the backstory of Atomic, I came across a Reddit review which favourably compared their burgers to A&W's (like A&W done really well, to paraphrase). I think I get the comparison, as the Atomic Burger is composed similarly to their Uncle Burger (both have thicker patties) and both taste distinctly of salt. I'd most certainly agree in that Atomic is far less overseasoned than A&W (I'm notorious in my liking of A and Dubs but their burgers are often way too salty) and that their beef is simply light-years better. 

This was an incredibly good cheeseburger, no matter what planet you're coming from. While the fries were also fairly good (until going cold) the main reason to visit (and why I'm going to strongly recommend) Atomic Burger is definitely for the namesake. Thick, juicy, wonderful taste and texture... just plain awesome first bite to last. 

Fire up those rocket packs and check them out! I'll definitely go back again before one of my games (need something positive to take away from these rough losses). Considering their previous venture as Fattoush, I'd be genuinely curious to try their Martian Burger... which consists of a falafel patty. Definitely one of the best burgers I've had in a while and it's nice to see another new burger joint steer their warp engines away from the heavy asteroid traffic of smash burgers.        

 

Tuesday Tune

While I'll still grumble at my dad for placing Lodger ahead of Low on his otherwise excellent article ranking David Bowie's albums (but seriously though?), this is a pretty damn good song off that (in my opinion) fairly middling record. Carlos Alomar's guitar really shines on this one too. 

 

 

That's all for this week! It's looking smokey out there (I'm sure all these more frequent wildfires and climate change are totally unrelated...) so stay cool out there, stay safe and most of all... don't spill that mustard.  

 

The Tuesday Taste - Elijah's Automatic

 

 

I want a new drug

one that won't go away

One that won't keep me up all night

one that won't make me sleep all day

 

 

Another Tuesday... another Taste! We are back after a mini-hiatus, brought upon by eating way way way more chicken nuggets than is right for any sane level of human consumption. I think I've reached my nuggie quota for the century, thank you.

Instead in this return we're rolling with the meat and potatoes of food reviews: the humble hamburger. Hey! I like that alliteration, really rolls off the tongue. Has anybody opened a place called "The Humble Hamburger"? If you're reading this and now decide to do so, go ahead and have the name! My only stipulation is a free one of your Humburgers (or "Humblurgers") once in a while. With a Modest Milkshake on the side of course.

 

Out on the very northern edge of Mimico is Elijah's Automatic, the latest food venture from accomplished restauranteur Shant Mardirosian (founder of Burger's Priest most notably, along with noteworthy pizza spot Fourth Man In The Fire). Upon selling his share of Burger's Priest in 2017, Mardirosian was legally bound not to open a competing burger business for multiple years (leading to Fourth Man as a detour venture). 

Upon the expiration of that settlement Madirosian went right back into the food that had gained him so much success and recognition, taking over the property of an old law office between Royal York and Islington on Queensway... opening up Elijah's* last summer (2024). 

*yes another biblical reference, as Madirosian went to seminary school before entering the restaurant industry and as such all of his projects have had some type of religious allusion 

 

 

Unlike his now teenaged Burger's Priest (and the countless others following the current smash burger boon), Elijah's Automatic is meant as a counter option to those griddled patties. Flame Broiled on a grill (think what Burger King claims to be) with the flames kissing the meat... resulting in a smokier and char flavoured burger. That's the intention.

I went mid-afternoon on a sunny Wednesday, meeting up with a friend (hope your arm heals up soon!) who was likewise curious from driving by. Elijah's certainly isn't designed or laid out like any typical burger joint or even restaurant, with a set of steps to the elevated front door and a pair of dark minimalist rooms to navigate before finding the counter from which to order. Consider as well the strange interior decor of the place: very black walls with bright neon lettering or images... and it feels less like you're in a casual burger restaurant and more some kind of uncertain scene from an artsy late 1990s indie film (hey, the very first post on Elijah Automatic's Instagram does ask "what if you could taste the 90s again")

Elijah's also has a nifty elevated side porch/patio (didn't take a photo sorry) that surprisingly wasn't an addition when the place was transforming into a burger restaurant. Check Google Maps streetview, you'll see the side porch there well before Elijah's opened. I'm certainly having a hard time imagining what a random law office would use a spacious wooden patio for...

 

 

Beast mode! Er, fries. Beast Fries! A unusual fry concoction: their smokey ketchup-heavy burger sauce mixed in with a LOT of diced grilled onions. There's a good mix of sweetness, oily sharpness from the onion, plus some base rich creaminess from the mayonaisse blended in. 

I don't love it... there really are just too many chunks of onion in it... but it's interesting and generally works as something to smother your french fries in (there's also far more of it than the fries, oddly enough). Also not sure if there's supposed to be shredded cheese on here: the online menu says yes but the lady actually behind the counter, when describing the item, did not mention it. To be fair I'm not sure how much the addition of cheese would really elevate this anyhow: there's already a gloopy, thick texture as is, while flavour-wise cheese would just be doubling down on sharp creaminess.  

As for the fries (beef fat fried)... very nice. There's a good thinness, lightly salted, slight oil to the touch... pretty much like McDonald's fries if they tasted like actual potatoes. Really good stuff! Simple, crispy. I found the fries much more enjoyable than the messy "Beast" experiment all over them. Next time... I'll give the chili cheese a try instead. 

 

 

So for reasons I don't entirely understand... Elijah's Automatic only offer their burgers as doubles. No single patties allowed! (My companion even asked). Meaning that what you see here, the Bacon Automatic, is a double bacon cheeseburger... with nary a vegetable in sight (except for some barely noticeable sliced pickles).

In a burger like this the beef is definitely the intended star of the show... the focus of the spotlight... the big cheese, the head honcho, top dog... so how does it taste? Answer: pretty good. There's a faint bit of smoke-flavour to the beef, but what I mostly got was a taste of grill/char as a kind of accent to the exceptionally juicy (and fatty greasy) burger patty (though not to the point of being a dripper). Since it is on the greasier side the texture is likewise quite enjoyable, with the ratio of beef-to-bun being close to exactly even and that very bun serving as a decently soft vehicle for that soft beef action. 

It's good that this beef is indeed, um, good... because the rest of everything else on here does not make much of an impression. The cheese is fine, nicely melted into the burger patties for the most part... but I barely notice/taste any of the burger sauce or pickle or (biggest offense of all) even the bacon on here at all. I kept forgetting this was actually a bacon cheeseburger until a pocket of bacon in the center of the burger at last revealed itself. The bacon is quite crispy... perfectly salty and nice on those fleeting bites you get it... sadly the lacking presence leaves considerably more to be desired. 

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Overall! I'd say I generally liked what Elijah's Automatic is offering... although I wasn't all that blown away by it. It's a tasty, juicy, fatty beef burger all the way through that brings a thicker presence/texture than your en vogue smash. The biggest critique from me is how there's not a whole lot else going for it (possibly by design), it just needs a little more presence from those supporting condiments (sauce, bacon especially) to really make the whole song sing. 

Worth a try if a simplified classic grilled burger, where the beef is the big focus, is your thing... while the Beast Fries definitely have a little too much going on (the opposite problem) but nevertheless are a good quality french fry once you separate the oniony sauce explosion from them. 

Call it a slight recommendation: there are burgers in Toronto I'd much prefer, but Elijah's without a doubt grills a tastier burg than the Harvey's next door to them (and I generally find Harvey's pretty solid). Quite good! I would go back again and try some of their other creations. 

 

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Burnt Ends

We've indeed been pretty quiet here in this strange little corner of the internet... but there have been a few articles of interest in the meanwhile since my chicken nugget burnout. 

I tried Wendy's grilled cheese cheeseburger (spoiler: it was bad). 

Plus a few pizza reviews: an extremely sauce heavy pie from Left Field Brewery, a good one from Terrazza and an internationally recognized one from out in Hamilton. Check em out if you haven't already! (and read again if you have, heh)      

 

 

Baloney

In this age of self-research and whatnot, there is a ton of falsified facts and misinformation out there being pedaled with disingenuous intentions (you can all trust me, though. Obviously. My subjective observations are 100 percent right, duh).

Anyhow, I found this little article (from Carl Sagan!) about rules for detecting bullshit (for lack of a better term) a useful handbook to keep in mind when sifting through arguments that claim to be honest but may not be on the level. Critical thinking! My personal belief is that they are going to have to start teaching it to children in school at a very young age... like have it right there with basic math, geography, history etc as one of those major subjects.    

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-baloney-detection-kit-carl-sagan-s-rules-for-bullshit-busting-and-critical-thinking?utm_source=firefox-newtab-en-us

 

 

Spilled Ice Cream

Sigh. The Toronto Raptors.

As someone who both works a lot of games in the arena and is a big fan of the team, I spent a lot of what was a lost season this past winter insisting to my co-workers that "next year they're making the playoffs! A high draft pick, a couple trades... you'll see!" Especially with the Eastern Conference weakening significantly due to several key injuries... my optimism seemed justified. 

Instead... the Raptors take a fairly safe but generally considered meh upside player with their top pick in the draft, keep the same roster mostly intact and worst of all new ownership pushes president Masai Ujiri out the door. Goddamnit, guys. God... damn... it...

Is it still possible the 2025-26 Raptors are good? Totally. With good health (looking at you Ingram), some further development from the considerable collection of young guys (Shead, Walter, Dick, Mogbo, Chomche and Murray-Boyles) and quick chemistry from a talented and skilled starting lineup that hasn't ever played together yet... you can squint and see a sixth seed in a wide open conference. 

But... well... losing Ujiri is a lot more than just any other team losing an executive. Think of where the franchise was when he took the reigns in 2013: a place with a destitute playoff history (one series win) best known for it's biggest stars leaving town under less than amicable terms. An NBA backwater with a team named after a dated cultural reference. Saying the Raptors were a joke is almost too harsh, but they were certainly an afterthought among afterthoughts. 

The shift in culture Ujiri instilled, not just among the team but its fanbase as well... cannot be overestimated. Almost immediately there was an unapologetic belief and swagger that we could actually win, which Ujiri himself insisted to us constantly... and while there were some serious bumps along the way (the Wizards sweep in 14-15, goddamn LeBron) he indeed was proven correct. 

Like I said, Masai Ujiri meant more to this team and those following it than just any executive dude wearing a suit using two Blackberries at once. In many ways he was the spiritual face of the franchise, believing in it when everyone else was jaded and skeptical. Perhaps he was guilty of holding on a bit too long with those players he'd found the most success with (VanVleet, Siakam) and that can be a blemish on the extraordinary resume sure. It's still an extraordinary resume... the man legitimately transformed a forlorn franchise into genuine global respectability. 

A very very sad day to lose him (here's hoping these new corporate overlords actually know what they're doing...)          

  

 

Tuesday Tune

Mostly because of a funny coincidence: I had "Back In Time" stuck in my head the afternoon I went to try Elijah's... and right as I walk in they're playing this song. It's a sign!

 

 

That's all for this week! We will be back on a semi-regular basis going forward, so tune back in and stay tuned, damn it! Until next time... stay safe, stay cool and don't spill that mustard.