She wrote out a story
about her life
Think it included
something about me
I'm not sure of that
but I'm sure of one thing
Her spelling's atrocious
Another Tuesday.... it's the 125th Taste!
It's been a fun ride and I hope you all have greatly enjoyed these little articles here, in my weird little corner of the internet... with still plenty more reviews to come. For now, lets jump right into the meat (pun intended) of this quasquicentennial* episode and talk about a heckavalot of chicken nuggets.
(*definitely not a word I knew off the top of my head)
Chicken nuggets (or similar small fried chicken forms) occupy a curious place within the fast food universe. Their creation dates back to the 1950s and Cornell University, with multiple sources crediting food science professor Robert C. Baker as the forefather of this culinary innovation (the initial purpose of which was, shocker, for the poultry industry to efficiently sell more chicken). This Reddit thread does a solid job diving deeper into that origin.
Far from being considered a meal, nuggets fall very much within the realm of 'snack'... enjoying the versatile appeal of such a distinction. Whether it be as a light finger food easily munched on the go, a big communal dish split and nibbled upon by friends, or just a something edible and soft a small child can put in their mouth (thus keeping them quiet for a precious moment)... chicken in such a bite sized package really appeals to all ages and situations.
My goal here was to sample and compare every chicken nugget sold by all the major fast food players here in Toronto. Thing is, not many of them actually offer actual nuggets! So... I had to stretch the definition a bit... opening the door for items like "popcorn chicken" and "boneless wings" (items ending in "bites" etc). Also, sorry to chicken tenders but you've much too much girth for this one. As long as it was chicken (or closely resembled it) and could be eaten in two bites or less, we're good.
While I am ranking these (because ranking things is fun) this is not meant as any kind of thesis on why chicken bites or nuggets or popcorn chicken is superior this way or that blah blah blah. I'm calling 'em how I sees 'em... or tastes 'em, rather. I'll save my general conclusions for the end. Lets roll:
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#13. Mary Brown's
The epic disappointment of this entire epic adventure. This is Marlon Brando saying "I could've been a contender" in the backseat and then the car also crashes into a lamp post or something. I wrote very positively about Mary Brown's sandwiches for an early TT review back in 2021 and anticipated that same chicken in a smaller bite-sized version would share at least some of that tastiness.
This was also an awkward purchase, as Mary Brown's only offer what they call "Pop-In's" (popcorn chicken essentially) and an order of just a box of those would've landed around seventeen bucks. Hey, this wasn't exactly a cheap project to undertake in one day! Instead I got the much cheaper Mash-Up Bowl, which had some of those Pop-In's on top.
Really, these aren't terrible or anything but they're extremely bland. Simple flavour, not much in the way of salt or pepper or anything... plus they're so small that half of what you're eating is a ball of breading anyhow (one way to keep costs low). Not to mention the chicken itself inside... it's fairly dry and stringy. You know you have a problem when the residual gravy from the mashed potatoes gets on your chicken bites and even that can't soften them up a bit.
I wouldn't say these were the worst tasting on the list but when you factor in my considerable expectations, how long these took to make (almost twenty minutes) their rather pathetic small size and unpleasant texture... I think this placement at the bottom sadly makes a lot of sense. Too bad but... I'd stay far away from these and stick with the sandwiches instead.
#12. Domino's
No, we're not looking exclusively at the fast food giants specializing only in chicken (this would be a very short article if so). Certain pizza spots have also dipped their, um, pizza toes in the fried chicken pond... and while I probably missed a few (Papa John's and Nova for sure) the ones I did try were each insightful in their own way.
The insight I gained from Domino's chicken bites? That Domino's is exceptional at making more than just pizza tasteless and unappealing.
These are very, very soft... with far too much of an artificial ground pepper scent and flavour (enough to make you sneeze) to them. Very little chicken presence or texture at all... it's just the floury breading that fills your mouth without even any pleasant crunch or crispiness to make at least the motion of eating these semi-enjoyable. Once cold they dry out terribly also, adding insult to your tongue injury.
I wonder if these were baked rather than fried, which if so, fine... but can you give a pinch of oil or butter or anything to liven this up even a bit? These were like gnawing on a pack of economy-priced bagels, plain and half-off.
Combined with the dreadful honey BBQ dip that came with these (a thick malty gloop that was more artificial brown sugar than anything) and the price (eleven dollars) this is the opposite of a winner. It only escapes the bottom of this ranking via it's texture being meh... but honestly these taste like those cheap chalky chicken nuggets the big box grocery stores make-in-house and sell near the meat section. Avoid.
#11. Pizza Pizza
Like Domino's, this is another one I did not anticipate being any good. And I was right! Though whereas I'd prefer Domino's pizza over Pizza Pizza (the correct answer is neither of course) as far as chicken goes? Pizza Pizza gets the nudge above for their popcorn chicken being a tad cheaper (nine bucks) and bringing a flavour that isn't blech.
It's a generic flavour sure, minced and oily and mostly of the fried bready covering... but there's some okay salty juiciness and these at least had some utility as leftovers in a salad (yes, even a boring salad is more interesting than these). Pizza Pizza also don't include a dip with their chicken, it's an extra charge! I didn't bother with that.
There's little else to say. Not quite the worst, certainly not the best... and in the end aggressively forgettable. Much like Pizza Pizza pizza itself. So far it is quite eye-opening how these pizza places treat chicken exactly like their pies.
#10. Burger King
Our first legit actual chicken 'nugget' so far. Points for looking good hey hey (you'll need them).
These are very cheap (six for just over four bucks) and it reveals as much after a moment. The crunch is quite nice and pleasant I will say, there's a baked, crumbly breading to it. Really, these are like those store brand frozen nuggets you buy from the grocery and bake in the oven for half an hour or whatever... those crumbles on the baking sheet and that unmistakable heavy smell? It's right here, folks. You just can't see it.
I wasn't in love with these. They do have that same frozen aftertaste despite being fairly juicy. I don't get much chicken flavour or seasoning beyond just that hard coating of bread, making the enjoyment of these nuggets very reliant upon whatever dip is immediately close at hand. Rubbery and tough once cold as well. Meh.
#9. McDonald's
A classic. A legend. You can smell the plastic slides and the ball pit already, as like the McNuggets themselves these are childhood scents and tastes seared into your memory until the end of time.
Notoriously I don't care for almost anything and everything on McDonald's menu... although admittedly the last time I'd eaten a box of McNuggets I might still have been the age where jumping around in plastic ball pits would be socially acceptable.
Still, the McNugget is interesting and different amidst the others on this list. The breading (somebody mentioned to me this past weekend how they're triple coated and triple fried or something) has a distinct light and oily taste to it... much like those chicken balls some cheap Chinese restaurants (basically The Mandarin) have on their menu.
Again, that strong oily taste is so weird because these nuggets aren't even oily to the fingers at all. Regardless, they generally are okay (I guess) but don't taste of real chicken (or meat) whatsoever and at a shockingly steep price (7.45 for just six of these flat little things?) I'm cool with letting the rest of the world have all these. Go ahead, everybody else on the planet Earth. All the McNuggets are all yours. This is my gift to you.
#8. Wendy's
Almost identical to McNuggets in shape and size. The flavour is less noticeable than McDonald's (nothing else tastes like McDonald's I'll give them that) but with Wendy's there's an improvement in the overall crunch.
To me, this is a very standard exhibit A of what a fast food chicken nugget should be. Extremely cheap (3.79 for six), some pleasant juiciness, still not much real chicken flavour and far worse for you than you could ever expect. They're really not all that great (that one dimensional flavour gets tiresome by the third one) but at a low price it's entirely acceptable I suppose. A serviceable choice if this is the specific thing you're craving.
#7. Harvey's
A notable step up in quality from everything else so far, although (perhaps just my personal taste) I thought these looked a lot better than they actually tasted. Keep in mind, this was the very last stop on a day I'd tried ten other bite-sized chicken items so... it's entirely possible (probable) my taste buds had simply had enough of this madness.
The size of these Harvey's nuggets are a definite improvement compared to the others, with not much (5.60 for the five/six you see) elevation cost-wise. There's crunch but it's a harsh crunch: you can see how jagged these nuggets are and that translates into some pretty dry bites at points here. No gentle layer of just slightly cooked batter: it's either chicken or crunch so the gums of your mouth better be ready.
Hey, back to looking like real chicken again (and the flavour of such a thing). Alas where so many of the lesser entries on this list suffered via tasting of only breading... this one just tastes like white-meat chicken with little else. That little else being an odd slight bitterness in that breading, similar to old overused frying oil.
A bit of adventurous seasoning and/or less intense crunch (try a little tenderness please) really could've made this a real force on the list. As is... a respectable, solid option but nothing all that special.
#6. Pizzaville
Another pricier one (12.24 for eight) from a pizza spot. Pizzaville however (already a finer quality pizza than Dominos or Pizza Pizza) rises above via both including a dip with these chicken bites and giving a 'regular' or 'spicy' option.
Naturally I went spicy. A good choice, as the heat is mostly a vinegary zing baked into the outside breading of these bites. It's sneaky and present enough to actually be noticeable... which hey after the repetitive offerings I've tried so far, a wink of flavour was seriously welcome.
All that minced up chicken in there certainly robs it of any genuine chicken flavour. It's still fine... the texture is quite springy, juicy and soft, pairing well with the quality round crunch on the outside. These are impressively satisfying, a solid and tasty entry on the list. The flavour of that outer breading really makes it: a crumbly texture with a decent amount of seasoning. Well played.
#5. Shake Shack
I have a couple of complaints. First of all... these are by far the oiliest chicken bits on the whole list. Maybe ever! These things are practically dripping with the stuff. Maybe they're Edmonton fans...? (ah yes, a joke that will only be funny for another few weeks at best)
Second complaint: similar to my McNuggets gripe, this just isn't a whole lotta bang for your buck at nearly ten dollars for these six morsels of chicken. I could hide this box in the sleeve of my coat if I had to... although with all that oil that sounds like a fabulous way to ruin said coat.
Beyond all that... Shake Shack do make some quality chicken bites. The breading is rather flaky and light on the crispiness, while the meat within is generally tender, real chicken and brightly flavourful. There's also a honey mustard dip that pairs nicely here: reminding me of a mustard and mayo mix because of it's thicker and creamier consistency (which works well to cut into all that greasiness here). Good stuff overall! Just a steep price for a small amount of food makes this a tough sell, with that oily presence seeping into every bite it just isn't quite my jam.
#4. Pizza Hut
I'm a bit surprised to find Pizza Hut here, taking the crown as the best chicken nugget among any of the big fast food pizza chains. I guess down on Wing Street they take their fried birds seriously?
The pricepoint is reasonable (7.90 for five boneless wings here) and each piece is a good size (two big bites will do ya). There's a wet sensation to each bite, plus a combination of a fatty batter and a considerable crunch in the breading... making the texture really quite deep and good. Even once cold, those elements impressively remain while the flavour of the sauce (this was garlic parmesan) seeps further into the chicken within.
I didn't think I was going to like these all that much, yet with each bite they grew on me more and more. Pizza Hut has an unmistakable and distinct greasiness in their food and that is indeed present here, meaning that of all the chicken items on this ranking I wouldn't be shocked if this is the worst one health-wise. Nevertheless, they do taste guiltily good. A modestly pleasant surprise.
#3. KFC
Now the biggest surprise. I gave up on Kentucky Fried "we can't legally call this chicken anymore" Chicken many, many years ago... so long ago this very West Collier Street may not have even existed yet. This was one on my list I fully expected to be flavourless, stale, dry or just plain terrible. Likely all these.
Huh? KFC popcorn chicken is... actually good? Still? Like somehow this is the singular thing they never messed with from decades ago when most people all thought their chicken was super delicious... how is this possible? Somehow... yeah I quite liked this.
The texture has a bouncy, airy rubbery kind of give to it... much like a breaded calamari. It's quite salty but not abrasively so. It really doesn't taste like chicken whatsoever (maybe it is calamari, heh) but that breading and texture is just so on point you find yourself not really caring. Even cold its devil powers remain intact. This is dangerously delicious... truly I must keep myself away from this indefinitely and forget this ever happened. I'm still in shock how this is possible.
#2. Popeye's
I think Popeye's as a franchise has become a real roll of the dice from location to location. My mum has regaled me with some gross inedible stories of one in St. Catharines... meanwhile the now shuttered Beaches location had likewise taken a significant quality dive in their years before the end (at least it's becoming a Gus Tacos now).
Yet some Popeye's locations do seem to still exist where, like that KFC popcorn chicken, the recipes have been impervious to the passage of time and public reputation. Danforth near Dawes Road... perhaps is one of these golden nuggets hiding in plain sight.
The price (4.20 for five) plays like your cheapo nugget joints like Wendy's or Burger King... yet the size of each nugget is almost twice that of those two pretenders, there's a notable smell and taste of "these were actually fried today", there's real tender chicken (with genuine juiciness) below that crispy flaky breading, and that classic vinegary greasiness of Popeye's is oh so present on here.
So, so greasy... like coat your lips greasy... but it's oddly not super heavy either. A neat trick that this particular Popeye's magically pulled off. Maybe I got lucky who knows... but believe me when I say these were really damn good. Well done.
#1. Wingstop
Our champion and to be honest, the margin of victory was quite comfortable. Of all these, Wingstop's boneless wings were the only ones I took a bite of and thought "this is really damn good, there's nothing wrong with this at all".
I should've gotten a more subtle flavour for these to be tossed in (or gotten the sauce on the side) but I did my best not to allow that to affect my perception of these purely as breaded chicken chunks. Besides, them giving me an extra wing (seven instead of six) was a far more effective way to garner my favour.
Wingstop wins mostly because they've got everything here I've praised on this list all together in one tasty sized package. The chicken flavour is present throughout and lingers nicely in the mouth, there's an accessible soft crunch to every bite, these still taste great cold and don't go stale or dry, there's great balance in the texture, they're sizeable... honestly my only real complaint is how slippery these are to eat with your hands (gotta be careful).
Legitimately delicious stuff... the only one I could see myself going back for in the near future.
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After all that... what have we learned exactly? I'd say several things, actually.
Most obviously of all: that too much of a good thing can be bad, and that too much of a mediocre thing is definitely bad. Sampling eleven of the thirteen entries on this list in a single afternoon was really quite an experience... both secretly amusing to visit all these places (like I was in on my own hidden joke) and exhausting for the palette. I think I'm good on the chicken nugget/bite-size front for several months, maybe years, at this point.
I'd also say that most people have very different preferences when it comes to chicken nuggets. Sharing my plan and progress on social media as I went, quite a few friends messaged to say this one or that one were their favourites. Even the very next day, both at my rec baseball league game and my work shift afterwards, people were sharing their opinions and general thoughts on the matter and there really wasn't any overall consensus on which ones were truly the worst or best.
This is my roundabout way of saying: chicken nuggets just might be that kind of food where everyone has their own taste and preferences for whatever reason... with my list here simply being some random on-the-spot musings of one man on a cloudy weekend.
Whether or not my rankings aligned with what yours would be or not, hope this was a fun and insightful read nonetheless! Now if you excuse me, I think I need to eat like twenty broccoli crowns and bags of spinach to balance my diet back to normal again...
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Tuesday Tune
Slooooooannnn.... Sloooooaaaaannnn... this is from their awesome concert mini-film for their show at Massey Hall about a decade ago. They are an extremely fun live band and remain so to this day.
That's it for another week! After the arduous (and overall pricey) undertaking of this chicken nugget project, I might take next week off just to recharge the batteries (and wallet). Until next time, whenever that may be, stay cool, stay safe and most of all... don't spill that mustard.
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