Don't, text me every night
And don't, tempt me I just might
It's never been so expensive
to find the time
to come to your senses
I, won't ask you for a light
Another Tuesday... another Taste! Gonna have to be a quick one this week, for as I type this just after one in the morning I've got an intercontinental flight to catch in about fourteen hours. Fun times! Way more fun than how this Blue Jays/Mariners series is going, anyway. *Cough*. Anyhow! Onto the review.
Well... we're back doing a McDonald's item. Woo... freaking... hoo. If you've been reading my reviews for a while you'll surely have noticed that McDonald's has never been my jam (toejam more like). I find Big Macs dry and dull, McChickens offensively fake, McRibs sort of charming but hollow in their one-dimensionality (totally a word) and likewise the McGriddle. And these are the items I actually liked best! Indeed, I was wholly content to have covered as much of the golden arches menu as I'd deemed necessary and never again have to endure their food in the name of science (or whatever vocation you wanna call this weekly thing of mine).
Alas... enter the McVeggie. McDonald's latest attempt at a non-meat burger option. And yes, reading articles about it, their reasons for launching and promoting it so heavily in Canada at the moment are as cynical as you'd expect... lots of statistical data on shifting market/consumer trends among consumers seeking a heavier vegetable diet in their daily lives blah blah blah. I know, it's unfair for me to slag them for using this reasoning (and what the hell else are they gonna say?) since that's just how this stuff works... but that still won't stop me.
Especially when I'm way more interested in how this thing came to be in the first place. By the sounds of it, we can thank McDonald's India. About a decade ago they launched a completely vegetarian restaurant there (which does track when you think about it) and this appears to be how the current incarnation/configuration/maturation of the McVeggie was born. McDonald's later attempts to sell a vegetarian burger patty that simulated the taste and texture of meat fell flat, thus this venture of fully embracing the vegetable aspect of the sandwich is their course correction.
There's something about being inside a McDonald's that feels way different than any other fast food joint. It's not a feeling I like all that much, either. Something akin to being in a bus station or some kind of busy cafeteria where they call your number... some of the characters you encounter certainly fit my comparison. Regardless of that, this McDonald's was bustling despite it being three in the afternoon on a Wednesday. I made my order and got out of there as quickly as possible, finding a nearby basketball court to sit and give this McVeggie (without a wedgie of lettuce, sadly) a try.
It's a straightforward sandwich. The veggie patty, shredded lettuce, classic McDonald's sesame seed bun, and a sauce (either a regular mayo or a habanero one depending on if you get the "Spicy" McVeggie, which is I'm 99 percent certain the only difference between the two options).
Something I don't do often: a legitimate cross-section! This particular occasion seemed to warrant it and I'm glad I did... you can really see what this thing is (somewhat) made of. Chunks of cooked carrots, greenbeans, peas and some corn... all kind of blended together in this fried falafel-like puck.
There's an okay (though semi-stale) crunch to this sandwich... but it's so, so flavourless. You get a minor undercurrent of those vegetables as more of an aftertaste, which is fine since they do taste like actual vegetables (the cooked carrots especially dominate above the others)... but initially there is just no taste to this whatsoever. It's striking in its emptiness... which probably violates some kind of rule in quantum physics so hey, maybe this deserves its own spot on the Periodic Table or something. Element 153: McVeggium.
It's honestly not terrible but just not all that good either. With a (good) falafel you at least get some seasoning or spice in that crunchy texture, plus that distinct chickpea taste. None of that here, this fried shell is a whole lot of bland bready soy-like nothing. Not even pepper or salt. Bleh. Credit though where credit is due... the habanero sauce they put on this thing, not bad at all. Some honest-to-goodness heat and bite while it stings your tongue with admirable aggression. I'd put this stuff on any other sandwich... like you know, one that's actually good for example.
Finally, it also must be noted how calling this a vegetarian item can also be dubious... considering most McDonald's in Canada use the same fryers for the McVeggie as they do the Filet-O-Fish. No actual meat in the item itself, but the oil the patty is fried is in contact with meat. It also isn't vegan because of the sauce (and possibly the bun), which I'm sure you can just ask them to omit if you really wanted to (not that I would, the sauce is the only flavour on here that isn't sleepwalking).
Suspecting I wouldn't have much to say about the McVeggie (guess I was somewhat wrong, eh) I decided to reacquaint myself with a dessert item from McDonald's I used to quite enjoy in junior high: the McFlurry. Like Dairy Queen's Blizzard, only with the key difference of... um.... uh.... it's a McFlurry.
I thought to best review this, I'd order whatever worldwide consensus says is the most popular McFlurry flavour... which overwhelmingly does seem to be the Oreo one. Can't say I'm shocked, although Oreos have never really been a go-to cookie for me. Now before you all freak out and think "this guy must be a soulless alien not liking Oreos!" let me clarify I think Oreos are perfectly fine and fun, especially the dark cookie part. I just don't seek them out all that often.
Did you know the McFlurry was actually created in New Brunswick? In the mid-1990s in fact, with this very Oreo flavour being the first concoction. I have nothing else to elaborate upon that, it's just kind of cool.
Anyhow... does this dessert treat hold up to my memory of it as a twelve year old? Am I really a soulless monster about to negatively critique freaking ice cream? Yeah sort of and, well obviously. The ice cream is just so fake tasting... suspiciously soft even for soft serve (like a dairy product simply was never meant to be that soft) that always coats the roof of your mouth with some kind of filmy layer. I'd totally forgotten that particular sensation and definitely didn't miss it (I think DQ Blizzards also do the same).
All that said... damn I'd be lying if I said this doesn't work though. Vanilla ice cream and dark crumbly Oreo cookies are an ingenious match, with the Oreos themselves being so finely ground into this ice cream that the general flavour of this entire thing is just Oreo. You still get some delightful crunch from the bigger bits of cookie throughout, plus there's just something so welcoming about this kind of sweetened ice cream, artificially enhanced though it may be. Like it's gently taking your hand and giving you a balloon or something (that might even be the secret ingredient who knows).
This may not taste like or even resemble genuine ice cream but at least it still actually tastes pleasant and full-bodied, unlike so much else McDonald's offers.
Overall... I'd say the McFlurry holds up as a (very) guilty and nostalgic pleasure for me. Not in a hurry to ever get it again... but I enjoyed it well enough. The McVeggie though is a definite miss: okay crunch and the aftertaste of the veggies is fine, but with just so little else going on it's hard to really praise those merits. Not great when a perky mayo completely overshadows your entire sandwich.
I wouldn't recommend either of these items, personally. There's way better ice cream and veggie burger options basically almost anywhere... though I will say I like the conception of the McVeggie far more than the actual result. It is different with its intended vegetable taste and outer crunch. If it just had, you know, flavour... they might actually have something here. Alas.... nope!
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Tuesday Tune
These guys just don't lose a step. Sloan rules (and kudos to Andrew Scott on this particular track).
That's it for another week. I'm off to Europe for a while! Might actually keep up with the reviews while I'm there, depends obviously on how things go but I have a couple meals in the queue I've already tried that I just need to write about, possibly while I'm killing time in the airport. So stay tuned! I'll definitely have a lot of say about whatever I end up trying over there.
Until next time, whenever that may be... stay safe, stay cool, go Jays (please please) and most important of all... don't spill that mustard.
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