The list continues! Here we move farther from quantity to quality, lets go:
#55 - Jz's Pizza - B--
232 Wellington Street West
You may have noticed, dear reader, that a lot of my skepticism towards many of these pizzas has been in regards to their price points. To which I say: damn right. If you're paying a hall of fame price for a one time fluke all-star, that's not a good deal. The better the pizza gets, the less I care about how premium the cost. Because when you get to the elite level, you get something transformative, something truly special that completely changes the game. MLB right now seems to share my skepticism without my important belief in legit talent.
Jz's Pizza isn't winning a big free agent contract, more like the Juan Pierre Award for being somewhat useful but overpriced (okay enough baseball for now). It's what I would call a Bistro Pizza: super thin crispy/crunchy crust, heavier sauce and tons of toppings at the expense of cheese. Yeah the toppings: they are bountiful here but in such uneven amounts. The salami is tasty and would make for a better pie if featured more, instead of the insane amount of roasted peppers dripping into every other flavour and bite of this thing (look at the photo. Yikes). The herb helping is likewise habitually heavy handed (that sentence needs more 'H' words, hsorry) and overall while the ingredients are of a good quality, it's all bit too much. A simpler pizza would be better? Not really, since the quality of the toppings is what makes this thing work at all. Just... less peppers please, and more specials for hungry bartenders working at local music venues.
#54 - Tosto (Bay Street) - B--
800 Bay Street
This here is an example of good ingredients and a decent concept, but it doesn't click with me. Very nicely textured sauce, strong cheese (not generic mozzarella) and flavourful soppressata. And rectangles, eh. More about them later.
Here though, the elements are there but it falls flat because the dough... well the dough is like one of those pastries you get that looks hearty but collapses in your mouth. Thin and flavourless, it gets soggy and isn't a strong enough foundation for what's going on, like a skyscraper with a basement made of sponge. And if you go for the square shape, you gotta do something more interesting with the corners. Otherwise weirdos (like me) will just wanna eat it by hollowing it out. Good pizza elements ruined by a serious, serious flaw.
#53 - North Of Brooklyn (Queen West)- B--*
650 Queen Street West
Another controversial choice I'm sure. Don't care this time. I like Bitondo's, only while arguing there are better choices, but I'll never argue for this one. A long time ago I worked in a restaurant with one of the founders of NoB so I even have the personal connection, and even then I am not impressed.
So why am I, just some dude, spitting mediocrity venom on a place so many publications put in their Top Ten? First of all, a lot of people making such lists probably didn't do the ground work I did by exploring the potential hidden gems that exist beyond a social media buzz feed. This was a lot of effort and research for one person to do (I can only be so bloody humble), and lazily slotting a place in a slot I don't think they belong kinda defeats the entire purpose, don't you think? Secondly, it's good pizza but not amazing, and I think NoB gets points for being so available (late night, multiple locations) and the kind of pizza you rarely can buy only a slice of. So it's a fancier pizza made more accessible. Well done.
Here's my real gripe though. I went there twice for this project and the first time, they had one slice available (at 5pm on a Saturday? Seriously) which was staleasfuck even heated up. Sorry, but especially when it's just bacon, kale and cheese? That's a bad look. Being fair, I went a second time and got the daily special slice with surprise anchovies(!) on it, not mentioned by the sandwich board or by the guy serving me. And that dude was such an apathetic jerk anyway I guess I'm not surprised, though it's not like people have food allergies or anything.
I've talked a lot about the experience of going to a place. NoB deserves a higher spot on the basis of their product, but even then that's maybe good for a couple higher slots on my list, not the serious company of a legit Top Ten. Combine that with their service and down, down they go here. And good. I'll never go again, that's how bad that was.
#52 - Brass Taps Pizza Pub (Danforth)- B--
493 Danforth Avenue
A much more likeable place than #53 and that's why they're nudged ahead here. This one wins because A: I love the Danforth, B: the service was friendly (while the place was full of families during a snowstorm) and C: showing up randomly on 1/2 price pizza night will really sway a food critic.
Seriously though, this is pub pizza done pretty nice. They try to hide the flavour shortcomings with a heavy pepper seasoning, but that's unnecessary. Brass works because you can tell in the flavour, the ingredients and the texture, that they really give a shit about what they're doing. Well constructed with good cheese, good juicy sausage, the dough works surprisingly fine (the thickness did scare me) and the whole enterprise reheats to the same level of quality. It is a bit heavy and the pepper really was a bit much, so maybe share with a friend or hit them up on those half price days if atmosphere doesn't sway you as it does I.
#51 - Stratenger's - B--
1130 Queen Street East
Another summer nostalgia play: a softball team I joined last summer prefers hitting Stratengers after games, but Strats' does pub pizza quite well. Thinner crust, lightly cooked (this picture is a weird exception) without cheaping on the toppings. The most serious issue is how they cook their 'prosciutto' in the oven before serving it, transforming it into crispy ham instead of the delicious raw cured pork it should be.
Random rant time! Pub pizza is, by my definition, a tasty cheese filled pie you get while drinking pints with the boys or gals. Strats' wins points by being a thinner, budget friendlier offering: you don't have to be a pretentious snob (like me) to recognize a solid pizza done well. Pub pizza is usually overcooked and crunchy, heavy on the nacho cheese, slight on the toppings and whambam thank you mam twenty bucks please.
Strat's also works because they kick it up a notch (Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!) with adventurous takes like a chicken tandoori pie (next summer maybe). It's not a really a 'pizza destination' (especially with a few ridiculous ones just blocks away) but it's a good spot after a victory with the baseball peoples.
#50 - Il Fornello (King West) - B-
214 King Street West
Another adventure with a certain coworker (you know who you are heh), we went during a break between a double shift because... well this location is legitimately across the street from where we work. You can see it through our giant windows!
I wish in retrospect though we'd gone to a stronger place, because he can be somewhat skeptical and I'd be curious to hear his opinion on a legitimately exceptional pie. Regardless he was right on the pitch with this one: Fornello has good toppings but this crust, man! It's super oily, coating your fingers and yet flimsy, like an overdone spinach pie from Taste of the Danforth. It just overwhelms the rest of the flavour. Every bite has that greasiness, messing up the quality surrounding it. This is a good pizza, short on cheese but their side tomato sauce was very good, smoothly hearty and rather unsweet. The crust messes it up.
#49 - PiCo (Adelaide) - B-
170 University Avenue
Another spot specializing in a quick fire, customize your sauce/toppings bonanza, PiCo has opened multiple locations all throughout downtown Toronto (many within just a few blocks of each other). It is also the closest to a Neapolitan style of those choose-your-own-adventures, with a pillowy crust and genuinely sweet San Marzano tomato sauce available.
Where it works best, like those other spots, is the speed they make this pie happen. Get one to go, and you're gone in five minutes. Get dine-in, you're probably still out in under half an hour. Where it doesn't work, maybe a personal taste, is the crust. It gives the pie an off flavour, like chewy cookies baked with too much flour (and a hint too charred). Also a fair warning: even though for a flat rate you can have as many toppings as you like, with this kind of pizza I (like many reputable pizza joints will do) suggest you cap that around three or four. With a thin dough base in the middle, anything more is going to make it a droopy, soupy mess. Even the three I got in the photo above was pushing it.
Overall, I'd say this is a good, not great pizza option. It's quicker, cheaper (though smaller) than most dine-in restos, and their toppings are for the most part quite tasty. Definitely go for the roasted garlic.
#48 - Fresca Pizza and Pasta - B-
302 College Street
Goddamn the grease. But man, if you're downtown, drunk, hungry and looking for a great affordable slice... Fresca checks all your boxes. It's super cheap (under four bucks), close to Kensington Market (you hipster) and right at the counter they have a garlic oil sitting there for your dirty, dirty pizza fantasies. The pizza itself is crispy, lacking a specific strength (beyond that garlic garlic) but notably lacking a specific weakness besides the occasional dough bubble.
Think of it this way: you've been drinking all night and you're wandering the streets desperate for a quick bite. This here is how so many wretched Pizza Pizzas stay in business: hungry folks wandering around hoping for a good, big slice. Pizza Pizza will sour that ambition and fill you with regret, Fresca will enhance the evening: a low sauce crispy friend with enough cheese to be a presence, complimented by that oily garlic garlic option. It's greasy, hell yeah, like oozing through your paper plate and onto the counter greasy, but it'll hit the spots it's supposed to hit.
#47 - Danforth Pizza House - B-
920 Danforth Avenue
One great thing you consistently find with some old school pizza joints is a familial atmosphere: the people eating around you have probably been going there for decades and are on a first name basis with the owner. Danforth Pizza House definitely wins points for that, even despite surviving a close down and renovation, and the service is likewise familial and fantastic.
The pizza itself? Good, though on the bland side. The sauce is fairly generic, the crust/dough a standard offering and the cheese (while in that sweet spot of plentiful) doesn't jump out at you. It's tasty but empty on any exceptional aspect to discuss: competent but unremarkable in any specific way. Its most unique aspect might be that it tastes better when reheated, adding a much needed crispiness element. At a premium price as well (around twenty bucks) I wouldn't put them on my list of 'must try' pizza destinations, but if I lived around the corner I bet I'd be a regular. The kind that probably invents some crazy custom combination that always receives both laughs and respect, heh heh.
#46 - Slate Restaurant and Bar - B-
2237 Queen Street East
A new addition to the finicky Beaches restaurant scene (we got places for lease for centuries), Slate wins hilarity points for using an unneccessarily huge take-out box. Seriously, the pizza is like half the size of the box, you could probably fit a second pie in there and it wouldn't be crammed.
The pizza itself is very cheesy and sweet, with strong quality toppings and that nice crisp shortness you get with thinner crusts, yet with an soft overall texture as a nice touch. I would've liked a lot more sauce, and this particular pie advertised brisket which was very good but not much of a presence (those stringy things you see in the photo). It's a welcome addition to my part of town but I probably won't go for the pizza again, the price (twenty-ish bucks) being rich for what you get.
#45 - Vesuvio's Pizzeria and Spaghetti House - B-
3010 Dundas Street West
Sorry to T, the rest of the Dodgers and my other west end friends ha.
Vesuvio's is another old school, longtime west end pizza institution. It's a classic spot and they do what they do damn well. Really nice toppings (the bacon here explodes in your mouth), good hearty sauce and it is filling. The kind of pizza my appetite would've loved in my 20s (I've slowed down since then. It's a tragedy). You get the perfect amount of cheese, enough herby sauce that you notice it and every bite has something interesting going on.
There are some weaknesses, like you've got to eat it quick otherwise when it gets cold all those good flavours get doughy and neutralized (luckily it reheats very well). The crust isn't too remarkable, begging for a dipping sauce, and price-wise this ain't no bargain. Still, with so many newer spots in the city just going for wood-fired, I do recommend trying Vesuvio's to change up that dynamic. There's more than one way to do this pizza thing and they've been doing it well for a long time.
#44 - Blaze Pizza (Richmond) - B-
150 John Street
I'm as surprised as you are, dear reader. I've tried Blaze three times now, expecting it not to be this good but there's something about it that just works. It's too thin, yeah, and not very filling, but it's also fairly cheap and has a lot of things going right for it. The sauce is good, the crispiness factor is off the charts, they do garlic as a topping very well (always a plus in my book), and there is an overall quality that cannot be denied. Of the 'rapid fire' pizza spots that have popped up the past while, Blaze wins the crown.
As far as negatives, again it's closer to a snack than a meal. Also I've found the service can be annoyingly eager, like aggressively so (is this enough of that? How's it looking so far? I get it, relax). There was one occasion the fellow felt the need to overly explain how they put the arugula on the pizza after it comes out of the oven (yeah duh). I get that this is a big franchise so there are those corporate expectations of particular service standards in play blah blah blah, it's just grating when... well you know your pizza. Another time though I had just bought my acoustic bass from Steve's Music and the cashier and I had a great chat about guitars, so that definitely was a more enjoyable, real experience.
#43 - Pizza Shab (Ryerson) - B
113 Bond Street
Bring on the uniqueness points. Shab is a halal pizza with locations in North York and Ryerson, which is the one I happened upon here. I wanted something without onions (which almost every pie on their menu seemed to have), so I elected upon a mushrooms, cheese, white sauce and corn(!) combination. On first smell, I thought I'd made a huge mistake: the scent was so sickeningly rich I wasn't confident my empty stomach could handle it.
Fortunately, the richness in the flavour was more subdued. There's a high greasiness factor, reminding me a lot of a pan Pizza Hut, and likewise with that thick cheese and dough bite you get there. Unlike Hut though, the oiliness was thankfully not overwhelming (like oozing through the box) and it reheated in the oven almost perfectly (just the crust missed that boat, coming in soft and stale instead of crispy like when fresh). The mushrooms were nicely sauteed and believe it or not, the corn actually worked. It's like a rich, pizza cake, and tastes a lot better than that probably sounds. I'd definitely try it again, with different ingredients next time of course.
Also, as you may have noticed from the photo, they gave me packets of ketchup with the pizza, an accompaniment so unusual and bizarre I couldn't help but take delight in it. And no, I did not use them on the pizza. Please.
#42 - Trecce - B
1792 Danforth Avenue
One of the very last places I tried for this list, Trecce is a spot near Danforth and Coxwell I'd never even heard of until I was on the Blue Night bus going home eastward and I spotted them as I passed by.
They advertise having wood-fired pizzas and indeed they are ready about as quick as one of those often are, but this offering is not what you would expect from that. Instead of that classic, soft doughy charred crust, Trecce gives you a bit of gritty crunch, a good example of a cornmeal base used lightly. The tomato sauce is fantastic: soupy but not sloppy and a vivid sweet finish. The cheese likewise comes with strong flavour, adding a pleasant creamy element and the light drizzle of olive oil on the pizza afterwards is a nice finishing touch. Only the sausage was disappointing, not that it was indecent just that it reminds of those President's Choice sausages you find at the grocery store: fine but lacking the overall quality of the other ingredients. Overall a nice pie, though maybe unexciting if you're not either a big fan of Mediterranean food or a pizza obsessive maniac like... uh....um....
#41 - Superpoint (Ossington) - B
184 Ossington Avenue
I really wish I'd been able to try the Express location in Parkdale or this one at just a different time, just to see what different offerings might be featured. Nevertheless this was when this humble pizza writer was able to go and I went for a classic pepperoni.
This is the kind of pizza I'd probably rave about as a teenager, because it just makes me think of going to those long gone arcades on Yonge Street and spending my few remaining coins on the closest slice I could find. In that regard, Superpoint is that perfect arcade slice I always dreamed of.
But now, I'm a bitter old pizza cynic! Ha not really, I'm in my early thirties and have tried so many other pies that it just takes more to impress me. This is a finely done slice: loaded with good, tiny pepps; greasy (yet not overly oily) cheese with solid crust crisp and some good seasoning. I'd argue the biggest flaw was that there was too much seasoning, overwhelming the rest of the flavours in play. I do think as I've gotten older my tolerance for salty things has dropped dramatically. I usually avoid pepperoni now, seriously! (Better discount this article completely now, right? But you won't, you've already read this far, fool ha ha ha! Seriously though keep reading). Anyhow it's likely if another more appealing slice had been available they might have scored higher, but it's all good. I like what they're doing.
This is where the list gets real tough, of course. Next time, we break into the Top 40! This will be my Billboard (Pizzaboard?)
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