Belligerent ghouls
run Manchester schools
Spineless swines
cemented heads
Sir leads the troops
jealous of youth
same old suit since 1962
Another Tuesday, another Taste. In-N-Out Burger is a long established California burger chain that frankly is... oh wait! Wrong review. Damn I did it again.
Burger's Priest is a Toronto-based burger chain that has now expanded dramatically, and fairly recently: their flagship and original location on Queen Street East here in Toronto only opened in 2010, according to their website. Calling them a success would be an understatement, as they now have over 25 franchises all over Ontario and Alberta. Not bad.
Also according to their website, their founder grew up in California (truly the genesis of the "great American cheeseburger" and moved to Toronto for seminary school, which explains the Burger's Priest name. I'm not sure if it's the same dude, but I'm quite positive one of the people behind starting up Burger's Priest is also behind the Dundas West pizza point 'Fourth Man In The Fire'. Actually, considering that is another religious reference... it's probably the same guy. What'd you say? Look it up? Hey, that would require me clicking my mouse a few more times. I'm not made of airports!
Anyway it's the same guy. Shant Madirosian clearly likes these literal heavy concepts in regards to his restaurant ventures. Both 4th Man and Burger's Priest imply that their mission is to uplift our taste buds from the general blah we've been subjected to, enlightening our tongues to a higher place. I'd call this pretentious nonsense... except I also reviewed a Big Mac last week and anything to scrub out that experience from my brain would be most welcome. Plus I'm also somebody planning to review the catalogue of Pink freaking Floyd... when it comes to pretentiousness I can't throw stones.
Fourth Man In The Fire is legitimately very damn good. I've even reviewed it before. But what about Burger's Priest? It claims that it wants to redeem the idea of hamburgers back to what they are supposed to be, like it was in the beginning. I spent a lot of my childhood in California, and so I'm very familiar with that classic ideal of an American cheeseburger. Does this one stack up? Can it hold a candle to this messiah it clearly strives to be?
No. It doesn't. This is good, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't completely blow my mind... which is what the scripture (and price) wants to do. Overall this is a solid, tasty double cheeseburger: you can taste that addictive melted cheese everywhere, shredded lettuce, the grilled onions are a nice presence (and yeah, I hate onions but when you can sneak them by me and I actually like it... several bonus points). It's exactly what a classic double cheeseburger is supposed to be, and what a Big Mac simply isn't.
But it isn't perfect, or even exceptional. The patty is the weakest part: at least it tastes like beef, that's a good and reassuring thing... but there isn't much in the way of juiciness or seasoning flavour to really let it ascend. It's rather bland in a "good quality" kind of way. I don't want it buried in seasoning salt (like A&W), don't get me wrong... it's simply mediocre in texture and taste. It does the job just fine, which is my biggest criticism: this is good... quite good, but not great.
The supporting elements do good work, and really are the strongest part. They give much needed texture: the cheesiness compensates for the beef intake, the sauce is a nice mayo touch (and this burger is good enough that it doesn't use it as a crutch like the Big Mac... *cough*), and the onions really do make this a nice inbetween between a classic Cali cheeseburger and an east coast or Winnipeg smash burger loaded with fried onions.
I think I got what I expected here: something good but not living up to what it thinks it is. Keep in mind I am fortunate enough that the closest location to me is the very original one at Queen and Coxwell, so this is as genuine an article as can exist for this. Frankly, I enjoyed it. The cheese fries were an exceptionally pleasant surprise (like generic good fries: fried in good oil, not dry once cold and tasting like potatoes) and the cheese sauce they use is really gooey, thick and delightful. There needs to be more of it.
Burger's Priest overall isn't quite so amazing that I'd rave about it to everyone, because it just isn't. A solid 'B' in my books, and maybe I'm spoiled because I've had the chance to try the places Burger's Priest really wants to be. Still, I'd consistently go back to BP if they weren't so damn expensive...
Burnt Ends -- Little bit slow on the East End Eats this week. I went to a new place here in the Beaches Saturday night with the intention of reviewing them, but they were so backed up with orders I would've had to wait over an hour! A good sign. Gotta support your local restaurants, and I'm patient enough to go try again during a less busy time.
Beyond that I'm hacking away at my review of the Pink Floyd discography. It's definitely a trip, and I'm nearly finished listening to all these albums. Meanwhile my buddy and I are still ironing out our Radiohead article collaboration. Both of these things are coming relatively soon so... ugh unintentional rhyme... stay tuned.
Hey Doug -- Ugh, you get off easy this time... you greasy burnt doughnut. I'm in a good mood so I'll settle for calling you an inept villain in a Garfield cartoon, whose obvious buffoonery is casually thwarted by a feline easily bribed by lasagna. Just resign already, you garbage bag full of rancid laundry. See you next week!
Tuesday Tune -- I pulled a fast one on those of ya who know and love the band whose lyrics I used in the opener. Well here's a great song by a great band, but this here is a cover by an even greater band (and you'll rarely see these fellas playing a tune and having this much fun):
That's it for me! Until next time, stay safe, stay healthy, be alert and don't spill any of that mustard.
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