Well I don't know
but I've been told
You never slow down
you never grow old
I'm tired of screwing up
tired of going down
Tired of myself
tired of this town
Another Tuesday... another Taste! It's a Labour Day special here in these food reviewing parts of town... as you, dear reader, get two reviews for the price of none! You know, the usual... except doubled! It's the first ever Panzerotti Punch Out.
Full disclosure: to be honest I had no idea what to review this week, no idea what would be open on Monday (it being a holiday and all) not to mention this all fell upon a rare day off for me... so adventuring out into the opposite reaches of Toronto quickly became the kind of idea that sounds good until you wake up still tired that particular morning and just say "Nope."
This in mind, I was watching the Blue Jays play the first game of a crucial doubleheader in Baltimore (the Orioles are hot on the Jays' behinds for a final playoff spot) and a thought occurred to me: "If the Jays lose this first game, I'll just go review A&W's Whistle Dog. I've teased it already. But if the Jays hold on and win... well I've been craving a calzone for a while, I'll go review one of those!".
The Blue Jays indeed held on to win that first game, and then for good measure smoked Baltimore in the second game of the day as well. Hey, two wins? Two calzones. That's just math. Duh.
Lets forgo the usual backstory shenanigans (I've reviewed both of Pizza Nova and Pizzaville multiple times before) and jump into these calzones. Or rather, panzerotti. What is the difference, you may ask? I've looked into this many times and honestly have no idea... beyond size (calzones are typically larger I believe) both can be either baked or fried and both contain their precious toppings/flavours within.
Whatever... either one is a gigantic pizza pocket anyhow, so lets judge and compare them accordingly within that criteria. Also, in the interest of fairness both these panzos have the exact same two toppings: bacon and green peppers. As tempting as it would be to make roasted garlic one of those toppings, I know Nova has an unfair advantage in such matters.
Starting with Pizzaville... you can definitely see this is the flatter of the two entries. However, this is far from a detriment. Instead, this results in a very condensed and loaded affair. There are few (if any) pockets of air inside this panzerotto... the dough is a light crisp layer (almost quesadilla-like) while the filling is dense to the point that the thinner juices within ooze out upon the first sight of freedom, each bite overwhelming with its fillings.
It's genuinely quite tasty. There's a lot of acidic sting with the abundant tomato sauce (a pleasant surprise as I usually find their pizzas rather stingy sauce-wise) and the peppers, sliced very thin, are enough of a presence to add some slight bitterness. The cheese definitely has the taste of mozzarella, although one-dimensionally so... like it exists more as a texture than a flavour. I think Pizzaville pizza is pretty okay but their cheese (while plentiful) is rather generic and a definite weakness, which translates into this. As for the bread... definitely a very cooked, wheaty smell and taste. By itself it might be difficult to finish because of its simplicity, but fortunately Pizzaville are not horrible monsters and provide a complimentary side of marinara sauce with the panzerotto.
The marinara sauce is an absolute must. Even just for the sake of temperature contrast, a chilled sauce combined with a warm baked good. At first, in my younger days of foolishness, I did not understand the appeal of marinara sauce with a calzone/panzo. "There's already tomato sauce in there! Why do I need more of that?" said younger me aloud in an assuredly annoying voice. Well... marinara sauce is much different than typical pizza sauce, or at least different enough so for an excuse to make one of my trademark diversions on the topic.
Pizza sauce tends to be pureed to the point it often bleeds into the cheese and dough of a pizza while baking, as it did with the cheese here in this panzo. Marinara is more finely blended and as such is chunkier... usually resulting in a more textured sauce while the thinner parts pool like a flavourful thin tomato juice. It also smells delightful. When not overly watery (which this marinara thankfully wasn't) a marinara sauce makes for a excellent compliment to a panzerotto, especially one such as this: dense on toppings and cheese in the centre but then a whole lot of thin bubbled dough around the edges.
Moving onwards to the Pizza Nova panzerotto. As can be plainly seen, this one has a thicker bread exterior but also significantly more air in the pocket within. The result? The individual ingredients do shine a bit more independently, rather than as part of a collective (We Are The Calzone. Resistance Is Futile). These peppers have notably more crunch than their Pizzaville counterparts, the bacon carrying more distinctive texture and saltiness (it's also in slices here instead of bits)... while the mozzarella cheese is just completely superior. This has that light buttery taste and denser, slightly chewy texture you want out of a mozzarella... unlike Pizzaville which tends to just layer the shredded cheese on heavy so to hide its shortcomings.
However... this panzo does fall short in multiple ways against Pizzaville in this particular (and apparent) duel, apparently. As a thicker shell, the bread is more of a presence and while certainly not lacking freshness... it is also frankly rather bland and dry in parts. A taste of flour is all you really get beyond typical "bread" flavour, there isn't much depth to it and the thick texture of that exterior becomes fairly unremarkable on particularly airy bites. Just the tiniest drizzle of something... olive oil with a bit of chives... a rub of butter... even flakes of salt... could make all the difference to this. King Slice on Bloor West (although not as mighty as they once were) would always ask if you wanted their pesto-garlic oil brushed on your slice or calzone, to which the correct answer is always an enthusiastic "yes". Alas, this bread is as is... and as is, is rather boring and unremarkable, isn't it? Do I win the "is" award for that sentence? You're saying that award doesn't actually exist? What 'is' up with that? Okay I'll stop.
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Overall... this is a hard one to properly judge. Nova gets higher marks for internal quality, but Pizzaville gets the win as far as composition goes. It's like Nova is trying to make something at an authentic restaurant level, except failing at that because they're missing crucial additional elements and their ingredients at hand aren't quite up to covering that difference. The configuration of this Nova panzo almost invites a knife and fork, it's odd. Pizzaville, on the other side, knows exactly what they're working with and doesn't try to hide the fact this is a flat, greasy (despite being baked) panzo stuffed with cheap stringy cheese. The oiliness perfect to sink into your fingers and then transfer over onto a nearby arcade joystick.
I love that kind of old-school approach to a greasy pizza (there's a reason Bitondo's has existed for all these decades) and so in the spirit of that... in a stunning "upset" Pizzaville wins this one! The Re-Heat Test was the clincher... on a low heat pan fry, Pizzaville kept most of it's softness while Nova stiffened up more just a bit. Hopefully you all wagered accordingly and won't have to make an awkward call to your bookie now... fingers crossed I didn't lose anybody their thumbs (see what I did there).
For the record I would recommend both these panzerotti (and for two toppings they are about the same price) but especially the Pizzaville one. It's greasy, cheesy and surprisingly delightful.
Burnt Ends -- I have a few nights off this week (an unfamiliar feeling) before working a crazy music festival that is sandwiched around my birthday. I have a fun idea for a little something I could write later this week if the energy catches me, so keep an eye out for that potentially. It'll likely come out on Thursday if it indeed happens.
Kentucky Fried Crossover -- Rather unexpectedly, I managed to find this in my possession:
My first thought whenever I see chicken potato chips always drifts into this scene:
However, I'm a kinda sorta food reviewing professional, sorta kinda damnit! So I'm going to try these after I finish writing this sentence.
First off, these really smell like that classic thick peppery gravy that KFC uses. Taking a bite of the first chip... well I'll be damned. These actually taste like breaded popcorn chicken dipped in gravy... it's bizarrely enjoyable. I mean, I've rarely met a potato chip I didn't like... but this flavour is genuinely interesting. It's fairly subtle, but not repetitive either... unlike say a Zesty Cheese Dorito that begins as the best thing ever, but wears out your taste buds after ten chips. Not that I'd rush out to go buy twenty bags of these KFC Ruffles before the limited run ends... I'll still give it 6.5 crunches out of 10.
Tuesday Tune -- It's a sentimental one this week (from me? Never). It's a Petty (I mean pretty, see what I did there) famous song but one that takes me back to a very precise autumn a few years back. I was playing pickup hardball games Saturday mornings in Etobicoke, and that entire fall I would get a lift via a couple other players who also lived in the Beaches. We would enjoy some, um, "herbal refreshment" before the trip, and every time we drove up Scarlett Road, my buddy driving and talking about how he felt good about maybe hitting a dinger this week (in my affected state of mind I was happy with a single, heh)... approaching the park this song would pop on without fail. On the way home from a shift this past week, I listened to it for the first time since those Saturday afternoons and was instantly teleported back to those times and feelings, a pleasant place in my memory I'd nearly forgotten.
Pretty cool how music can do that, eh. Anyhow, here's the song. One more time to kill the pain.
That's it for this week! Until next time, stay safe, be well, enjoy these remaining warm days and don't spill that mustard.
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