Blue boy
older than the world knows
Honey
that's the way that life goes
No use
acting, so tough
Calm down, sweetheart
grow up
Another Tuesday... another Taste! And on an actual Tuesday no less, unlike last time. This week, for the first time in a while, we're checking out something that isn't fried chicken or a pizza (but is still a late night favourite)... poutine!
Chances are if you're ever experienced a few drunken nights out in downtown Toronto, at some point you've had a Smoke's poutine in front of your face while you attempt to shovel most of the contents into your mouth-hole.
Thing is, there aren't nearly as many Smoke's locations throughout Toronto as there once were. The one at Queen and Bathurst (which I visited quite often when I lived around there briefly) is long gone, as is the one in the Annex (I can't even remember exactly where that one was). It does appear that Toronto had a bit of a poutine boon in the late 2000s-early 2010s, with Smoke's and Poutini's rapidly expanding locations in that relatively short period of time. You also had Poutineville, a small Montreal chain known for all-you-can-eat poutine, open up in the Annex with significant hooplah during the same period. Dundas Square would even host an annual poutine eating contest (sponsored by Smoke's) and the crowds were larger than you might think.
As with many sudden food crazes, the craze burnt itself out. Poutineville barely survived two years before shuttering, while Poutini's original and last standing location on Queen West bit its last curd early in the pandemic days. We did have the truly exceptional Nom Nom Nom food stand emerge from this period of course, so that has to be considered a major win. Likewise, Smoke's is still around... just with a very diminished presence throughout the city. They have a stall in the arena where the Toronto Marlies play, which is about as obscure a permanent location can get.
The Marlies weren't playing, so I instead went to the Adelaide location after watching the worst baseball game that has ever happened (you know which one). If you're reading this and are not familiar with downtown Toronto, this particular stretch of Adelaide Street (between Peter and Simcoe) is right in the guts of the club district... heck this very Smoke's location is next door to a freaking nightclub. As you can imagine, this being a Saturday around 11pm, venturing into this part of the city was like strolling into an obnoxious hurricane. I suppose all hurricanes are obnoxious, now that I think of it... but regardless! Within thirty seconds of parking my bicycle there was already a fire truck coming into the crowded scene.
I went in to order my poutine, electing upon their simple pulled pork option. While Smoke's do offer plenty of wild options and combinations (something which founder Ryan Smoklin says was inspired by the great La Banquise restaurant in Montreal), I wanted to sample the basics here. My go-to back at the Queen and Bathurst spot was their bacon cheeseburger concoction, but I wasn't confident they put curds on it (possibly a cheese sauce instead). Couldn't take the chance.
The very moment after I ordered, I went to grab a couple of napkins ten feet away... and was shocked to find my order ready before I returned. We're talking maybe fifteen seconds here, at most. which is a suspiciously short amount of time for a hot dish to be ready. Sure enough, it was barely warm even as I was leaving the joint. Considering the chaos of the location I understand the extreme haste, although they weren't exactly packed inside at this particular moment either. Whatever... I got the hell away from that street of madness and found a spot outside Roy Thomson Hall to chow down.
I think what makes a bad poutine are two key elements: indifference towards the quality of the ingredients, and an imbalance of those ingredients. This is why most of the huge burger joints can't get it right: their foundation is crummy to begin with (weak gravy or bland limp fries for example) and there is almost always way too much of one thing. Drowning your fries and cheese in gravy might work for some people (blech) but it makes for a crappy ass poutine.
Harmonious balance is crucial to a quality poutine, which Smoke's does get right. There is the optimal amount of everything here and it is spread out enough that you can ration each key component as you go. Even at the end, there is still a bit of everything left. The construction of this poutine is far superior than the actual taste and quality... which sadly did not overly impress.
The hurried nature of getting my order out to me couldn't have helped... which is kind of a problem, isn't it. None of these curds softened or melted even slightly. The pulled pork however is by far the weakest thing here, as it offers little else beyond texture and a faintly juicy sweetness. It's somewhat saucy but there just isn't a whole lot of flavour in the meat or the sauce, just a generic stringy pork presence. Not great stuff.
Fortunately, the rest of the ingredients manage to carry these weak links. Or, at least enough to move this meal well beyond any thoughts of bitter regret. The basic trifecta of poutine (fries, gravy, curds) are done with smarts here. You get some seasoned fries with the right mix of crisp and potato taste, your curds (though mostly stiff) are serviceable, while the gravy holds it all together with an enjoyable combo of richness and sweet (possibly the pork sauce bleeding into it) that proves quite effective. Replace the forgettable pulled pork with a better prepared compliment and... well it'd just be better. No need to elaborate on that.
Smoke's poutine is very much what I remember it being even eight years ago: dependably okay, maybe even good if you get it on the right day. It doesn't blow your doors off with flavour, nor is eating it ever a particularly memorable experience (night of drinking or no)... but it is undoubtedly several notches above anything a mega uber fast food chain could possibly pull off. Their fries are tasty and their gravy has this very subtle salty 'something' to it that has always worked for me. Insert your own joke here. Alas, while I'd happily take these curds over some sad shredded cheese "poutines" I've encountered over the years, they lack that special buttery "oomph" you get with the real damn good ones. Meanwhile, their secondary toppings have always been extremely mediocre, even my once beloved Bacon Cheeseburger version.
Overall... I'd say Smoke's biggest strength is you know the general moderate quality you're getting with it. Plus, if you're hungry and drunk... you can definitely make far, far worse food choices (not that your arteries might entirely agree with that sentiment)
Burnt Ends -- I wrote a baseball thing about some stupid team that blew a big lead in some stupid game that cost them their stupid season. Come for the Pavement reference, stay for the stupid words I somehow managed to write at 6 in the morning about that stupidness.
Stupid Season -- Continuing on that, my dad (who does not write stupid words) did his annual piece where he assigns grades to most members of the Blue J--- I mean that stupid team that stupided stupid stupid. Regardless of this runaway joke, or the extremely horrible way stupid Saturday played out, his insights on the team are strongly on point as is his usual.
Tuesday Tune -- I just love the sound of this song. Give me that echo jangly guitar all day. Plus, it has the word 'blue' in it, which reminds me of a certain team that ahhhghhhhhhf here's the song!
That's all for this week. Hope you all enjoyed some delicious food this past weekend. Until next time... stay safe and don't (unlike some other birds recently) spill that mustard.
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