This Week In Pizza: SlowSouth Pizza

 

 

 

Not to be confused with 'Slowhand' in the east end, SlowSouth (yes the second 'S' is capitalized but it's still all one word) is another new-ish pizza slice joint on the stretch of Dundas Street West between Dufferin and Lansdowne.  

According to their website, the two partners are from Trentino-South Tyrol and Calabria respectively... two regions of Italy I definitely had to Google Map to discover they are on opposite ends of the country (apologizes to my Italian friends). It is curious since the place is named Slow"South" and yet one of those regions is the furthest north of the country (Calabria is down south on the Mediterranean, above Sicily)... but my squad of unpaid interns inform me that the Tyrol area crosses borders and extends north into the western part of Austria. So indeed, the 'south' description applies to both. Come for the pizza reviews... stay to witness my flimsy knowledge of European geography grow!

 

 

That covers the 'South' portion, but 'Slow?' That requires less checking of Google Ma--I mean the up-to-date world atlas I keep nearby me at all times. Essentially: they take their time preparing the pies. The dough is hand prepared and cold processed for 72 hours, a fact the website mentions more than once. Indeed, the "About Us" page dedicates the good majority of their photographs to showing its preparation. 

I wandered into SlowSouth still peckish after my excellent slice from Acute just a few blocks west, and was immediately tempted to try one of the available arancinis they keep behind the counter beside the pizza slices (very clever). No, I didn't get one... and yes, I should've. 

 

 

Instead, my lonely purchase was this spicy pepperoni slice you see above: cheese, pepperoni, jalapenos. Very straightforward. Like Acute, they have a nice large window (with a counter and stools)... a perfect spot for watching the world of Dundas West drift by. 

This isn't the most distinctive pizza I've ever encountered... by virtue of its general solidness I'd almost call it boring. Almost, because its also a few notches above such an insult disguised as a compliment. Its an extremely cheesy slice (the photo perhaps suggests as such) and that element does absorb most of the tomato sauce flavour you might get. Similar to the pie at arcade bar Get Well, actually... only not quite that extreme (very good pizza but akin to eating a block of gooey mozzarella). 

It's a wood fired pie and so you get some nice char to the edges. You also get that natural floppiness, but not any of that frustrating droopiness even when as fresh as this. It's not quite as thin as your typical wood fired either: there's a bit more density than you would expect. Still a good fold-slice if that's your thing (particularly the first few bites) but not an essential measure. 

Good mozzarella, nice tasty pepperoni cups. Not really a greasy or oily slice at all, despite the pork and heavy cheese that dominate the taste. Perhaps by this (and the significant amount of jalapenos)... this slice could be a bit of a visit to Heartburn City. Watch those burps. 

No offense to their considerable dough prep, but the crust or foundation didn't stand out to me. Merely good, quite good even, but nothing exceptionally memorable. Hey... after 150+ pizzas in this town... I'm a tough one man crowd. This notion indeed encapsulates my precise thoughts on this pie: fairly above average in every way, a pleasant slice to eat, yet oddly difficult to recall in further detail. Even my notes in the moment couldn't find much else to romanticize or destroy.

 

---

 

Overall! SlowSouth makes a good pizza. They're kind of on the fringe, to me anyway, whether I'd recommend going to try them. If you happen to be walking by, definitely. Traveling across town and making an afternoon destination of it? Not quite. A couple levels below the many excellent pizzas Toronto now offers, but nevertheless the fact a place even at this 'well above respectable' level can be so short of an increasingly deep list of elite Toronto pizza, is a testament to how much that level has risen in the past decade. This is the Golden Age in both quantity, variety and quality. 

I think any neighbourhood in Toronto (like the Beaches, whose pizza scene continues to be very lacking) would be more than pleased to have a place at SlowSouth's level firing off strong quality slices at very solid pricepoints. They're in limbo between a "B/B+" to me. Damn, that waved off arancini could've been the tiebreaker. Curses! 

                   

The Tuesday Taste - California Sandwiches

 

 

And sometimes I 

just ain't in the mood

to take my place in back

with the loudmouths

You're like a picture on the fridge

that's never stocked with food

I used to live at home

now I stay in the house 

Another Tuesday, another Taste!

 

Admittedly, this was not a sandwich chain I was familiar with at all until beginning these specific Tuesday reviews.  

However, they have over a dozen locations throughout the GTA and seeing as I've reviewed much smaller chains (Blondies, San Francesco) merely as an excuse to try them... seems like it was time to give California Sandwiches it's due.

The original location (at least I think) is on quiet Claremont Street in Toronto's Little Italy, right between College and Dundas. Naturally, that is not where I went. Instead, I biked up to Warden and Eglinton to sample the fare of that outpost, hidden amidst a sprawl of parking spaces and a dozen other brand name food options. 

This did not detract from the experience of the place, surprisingly. I ordered their veal sandwich from a young lady (doubt she was older than 17) wearing a Beatles shirt, and while I was sitting by the window (daydreaming into the blandness of cookie-cutter plazas), an older fella went to order and chatted her up... in a friendly 'I'm old and like reminiscing' kind of way. He asked who her favourite Beatle was... and her confounded polite smile and reactionary "uhhhh...." brought a 'between worlds' type of grin to my face. 

Anyhow, onto the food itself. Had to go for the veal sandwich, no frills beyond the cheese included. I'm far from a veal aficionado (does it go on pizza? No? Then what is it) and I've had veal... maybe three times my entire life. Going into this, I sort of half knew what to expect while the other half was a complete open mystery space. 

What I expected: a thin, breaded, tender cut of meat... showered with sauce.

 

 

What I got: certainly that. First off, this sandwich was damn gigantic. What a gas it was to meet it. I could only eat half before wrapping it in my bag and departing. Second, and as the photo shows: a messy affair. Sauce and cheese dripping everywhere... a dangerous operation for a bearded fellow such as myself. However, these are hardly complaints at all because most crucially this was a darn tasty sandwich. 

Normally I'm not a fan of sandwiches with such a simple composition: "it's just tomato sauce, cheese and meat? Bah!". I'm a person who has put raw garlic on hotdogs... many times. California indeed does offer additional toppings on their sandwiches, like mushrooms, peppers etc at an extra price... but as a first-timer writing a review, I like to first judge the basics as best I can (unless it's pizza... then wow me with your madness). 

This sandwich is certainly simple as far as flavour goes, and that flavour is consistent throughout (the sheer amount of tomato sauce bleeds through everything, especially the hollow kaiser bun). The veal itself... again as an Unfamiliar with this I found the tight tenderness of it quite enjoyable. Not aggressively chewy (which I'd feared), subtle taste that lingers nicely, lightly juicy, and obviously the breading really helps elevate the taste and texture. A good mix of crunch (even holding up after soaked in the marinara sauce) and soft... while having the presence of the cheese, melted and dripping goo as it was... gave it a much needed extra layer to enjoy. 

It's definitely more of a texture enjoyment than a taste thing, for me anyhow. The taste is simple and done quite nicely... being basic doesn't necessarily mean it's boring. Margherita pizzas are popular for a reason, after all. With that simplicity, I really enjoyed the combination of soft, airy bun... slathered in a sharp tomatoey sauce, gooey cheese dripping about, with a tender and externally crunchy cutlet within the center of it all.

Again, as somebody very inexperienced with this type of sandwich... I liked this version of it. Not to the point of craving it again instantaneously... but certainly no regrets whatsoever. I'm sure some of you reading here who know your stuff can better comment than I upon where California stacks up in the overall world of this type of sandwich... and please let me know! I am intrigued. 

For now, all I can say is that this was pretty good... it was huge (the latter half was an excellent midnight snack) and there wasn't a whole lot to pick apart in this experience.... aside from the 17 year old in the Beatles shirt not being able to name a member of the Fab Four. I mean.... *insert shakes head meme here*. Maybe she, like everybody, had something to hide except for her and her monkey.   

 

-----

 

This Week In Star Trek

 

It's Trek Tuesday as well... two Shatners for the price of none!   

 

Tuesday Tune

 

My dad is a much bigger fan of this band than I, hell I think he even might've argued to me once that they were the best rock band of the 80s (preposterous, considering The Smiths did exist). Regardless where your tastes may lie, Tim is an absurdly great album and this 2023 remaster really gives it a bigger, clearer sound. Here's the closing track: 

That's all for this week! We're still chugging along so until next time... stay cool, be good, but most importantly of all don't spill that mustard. 

This Week In Pizza: Acute Pizzeria

 

 

Hmmm well... this certainly appears to be a... visually pleasing type of place to get a pizza.

 

I'd finished working the TFC home opener (they won, I think?) and being hungry, in a western part of Toronto and especially not wanting to be cute about things... it was time to try a couple of places along Dundas West I'd been meaning to check out for quite a while. Starting here with Acute, right on the south-east corner of Lansdowne and Dundas West. 

From the older times of my west end residency and riding past this way several times per week for work... there used to be a different pizza place in this same corner spot. They might even have still been there a couple of years ago, but I never tried them and don't even recall their name. (After Goog-I mean "research"... were they called 'Yummy Pizza'? Or was that an even older place before the old place? This is getting convoluted...  more so than usual). 

 

  

Here is hoping this second, or third, or something time is the charm. Speaking of charm, the colours on this slice. I don't go veggie/non meat slice often (check my work) but this one both looked the freshest and seduced me via its sheer prettiness. Acute pizza presenting a... mighty attractive slice here. 

You can likely guess what is on this thing, but it's my article so I'll explain anyway: tomato sauce and a green pesto, both in extroverted amounts, with mozzarella cheese. It's got a flavour notch more going for it than a typical cheese only* slice, but with most of this being just two sauces that can sometimes clash (depending on the type of pesto), with only dough, crust and mozzarella cheese between them... in such simplicity there isn't really anywhere to hide. 

*by cheese only I mean 'just mozzarella'. Many wonderful pizzas can have 'just cheese' with splendid combinations of goat cheese, gorgonzola, a sharp parmesan type etc. Just clarifying. 

 

   

First off, this pizza smells as awesome as it looks...like fresh baked sourdough (they use that as their base). The texture is equally nice: soft and oily, but firm enough not to be flopping all over the place. I do wonder if it gets chewier once not as fresh, alas I was too hungry on this debut visit to find out.

The pesto is the primary attraction and it shines through this slice. It's a finely blended, more piney/leafy pesto than a garlicky one... which gives a bitterness hint that matches up compellingly with a sweeter tomato sauce like Acute uses. A fine contrast between them, and as you can see neither tomato or pesto is slathered about all over the place. Instead, each is given some separation, almost like their own territories on the real estate of the slice. This works not only to avoid the two distinct tastes from overly clashing or bleeding into each other, but also (I just have to say it again) makes the pizza look so darn aesthetically pleasing. 

It's very smartly constructed, and just very enjoyable to eat! Because there is pesto, it is on the oilier side yet thankfully not to the point of leaking all over your fingers. The crust is also quite delightful: pillowy bread with a gentle crispy cheese/buttery aftertaste. Really good stuff. The light sprinkling of garlic powder is a fine touch as well. 

--

Overall! I think we have ourselves a winner. While I often like to explore a pizza joint's crazier, unique options as to judge their creativity... sometimes you can take a simpler concept and put a basic yet clever composition into it as well. Having the pesto and tomato sauce spread about in this generous way, with a nice buttery mozzarella acting as the intermediary between them... it's a smart way to allow you to choose the balance with each bite.

The concept would be hardly worth the praise if the quality were lacking, but Acute gets that right as well. Great textures, terrific tomato sauce, good cheese... there is little not to like. My only concerns were how the less fresh slices looked: by appearance they seemed a bit dry and since I never got the chance for a reheat test, I can't say for certain how they hold up. 

I won't dock them points via my own speculation, so this is a firm "B++" from me. Not entirely among Toronto's best of the best, as they didn't completely blow me away... but this was exceptionally delightful to eat, no real weaknesses and I definitely recommend checking them out. It's a quaint space as well, with large windows and tables perfect for people watching on the corner of a busy west Toronto intersection. Thumbs up all around. 

        

The Tuesday Taste - PG Clucks

 

 

If I told you things I did before

Told you how I used to be

Would you go along with someone like me?

If you knew my story word for word

Had all of my history

Would you go along with someone like me?

 

Another Tuesday... another Taste! It feels strangely satisfying to have typed those words a few times again...

 

You ever have a certain place, or a particular song, smell, picture, film, or general breeze in the air that (through no fault of its own) just lends itself to unpleasant memories? 

PG Clucks was one of those for me. My two previous encounters were hand in hand with heartbreak: the debut visit a very emotionally difficult afternoon I'd care not to elaborate on... and the other? Ah yes, the notorious Blue Jays-Mariners playoff game when the home 9 were up 8-1 at one point. I'd gotten off work at BMO Field in time and so hit a buddy's place (where PG Clucks chicken happened to be on the table and I was offered a piece) just in time for the epic collapse. 

So yeah, despite thinking the food was terrific both times... I've kind of held a negative association with PG Clucks. On this third occasion? With a review as the intention and a nearby Drake Hotel 20th anniversary party for former staff to attend after the fact? Frankly, I'm amazed the fried chicken didn't magically leap back to life just to smear grease all over my clothes. 

Enough of that stuff though, because PG Clucks is beyond worthy of being discussed on its own merit. By my estimation (and lazy research) I believe they opened their original location on College (next to the Royal Theatre) sometime in 2016. Eventually they opened a second pop-up shack in the short-lived Annex Food Hall, and then opened up a more permanent outpost on Queen West and Lisgar Street... which is were I found myself one late Thursday evening, with both hunger and the butterflies of interacting with people I haven't seen in fifteen years deep in my stomach. 

The Queen West location is only slightly larger than the flagship shack on College, by which I mean there is actually space for more than three people to stand inside (maybe six in this case). It's a takeout spot, pure and simple: no chairs, one short counter... only a little bench out front right below the window and personally, eating outside by myself, in front of the very place I just ordered from, has always felt awkward. But hey, the decor at this location was pretty slick. Check out these drooping plants:

 

 

Really not sure why I took that picture. 

I also have to mention Poutini's, a now departed poutine joint that for a moment had expanded into a few other locations, legit had their entire staff (maybe at the King street one? Can't exactly remember) walk out in protest, and is now well beneath the dirt of the Toronto food scene. The Queen West location was their first, their flagship outpost and happened to be in the exact same spot PG Clucks now occupies. Slipping back into the Drake Hotel days (you ain't escaping this without a little bit of nostalgia, dear reader) I was delighted to have an external food option on this block that wasn't Pizza Pizza or Subway (a thought that seems crazy now considering how much that stretch has transformed, but in 2008 this was the reality), and so visited this then-new Poutini's quite a few times. It was indeed quite a trip realizing after a few minutes: "Hey... I've been in here before..."

 

----

   

Anyhow! PG Clucks doesn't have a complicated menu, even at this "expanded" second location on Queen West. Sneakily, they don't advertise everything they offer on their website... the little side menu of fried jalapeno poppers, mac and cheese balls a little surprise temptation as I arrived. 

Indeed. They do fried things, and mostly chicken at that. While their honey jalapeno sandwich was tempting, I went for the classic signature sandwich, spicy of course.

What we have here is a monstrosity of beautiful proportions: not sure if that is entirely descriptively correct but whatever... there is a lot of everything! Several pickle slices, enough coleslaw to make a cabbage cry sweet vinegar tears while drenched in ranch sauce, and two very (un)healthy portions of breaded and deep fried dark meat chicken. 

Lets break it down as best we can... in comparison to how this sandwich physically breaks down that will be a tall task! 

We'll start with the support staff: this is a terrific white coleslaw with fabulous crunch, wonderful balance of sharpness and creaminess (aided by a terrific ranch dressing... I usually dislike ranch but this is a true exception). The consistent presence of the ranch throughout the sandwich is a key asset. Pickles! One (me) might normally think having both pickles and coleslaw together is a bit of overkill, but here it works because while the slaw absorbs the ranch-creaminess, the pickles provide more of a brine-y punch. Plus, the separate layering (pickles below, slaw above, as you can see in the photo) allows both to breathe in their own space. A small detail but when there's so much of everything in a sandwich it's an excellent conceptual choice. Nicely done. 

The bun has a bit of that potato bun sweetness to it, and while few buns could hold this much stuff without collapsing... the lightness of the potato bun is completely overwhelmed here. That's probably the worst thing I can say about this thing: the bun is merely good. You know you're on the right track when...

As for the chicken... it is dark meat chicken so its natural greasiness adds to the overall drippy mess that is the experience of eating this sandwich. However! You don't get a single overtly fatty bit, or gristle, or anything of such resemblance. Texturally consistent all the way through. 

This still does make the handling a bit more slippery than your typical fried chicken sandwich, but despite the heavy doses of slaw and sauce the breading remains crunchy throughout... giving a bit of a lemony zing on certain bites just for good measure. It's perfectly breaded: not too crunchy were you're getting rocky bits of empty nothing or the whole thing is a dry canyon to eat, and not too light where it slips away entirely. PG Clucks say they brine their chicken meat in a lemon and herb mix for 24 hours and it really shows: it's not an obvious flavour but there is just the right tiniest hint of it to add yet another dimension to this very taste-filled affair. 

I did opt for the spicy option and so I'll quickly describe the level of heat. It's not of the "pants dropping variety" (pardon that unpleasant metaphor) but it is a sneaky grounded spice that will catch you after a few bites. If you can handle your heat to a reasonable degree? Once the sandwich cools, the spice fades more into the background collage of the many other flavours. A good compliment, but easy to adapt to. 

 

---

 

Overall! Geez man. This is one killer fried chicken sandwich. Incredibly delicious, lots of varied flavours, it's huge... there's basically nothing not to like. Plus, no heartbreak! Or heartburn.

I suppose the only critique would be that if you're not a fan of dark meat chicken, this sandwich might not be your jam. The Queen West location also offers a chicken tenders sammy (their white meat option) but nevertheless. An awesome chicken sandwich, real damn good and I can't recommend it enough. Check em out! Make sure to grab napkins though... it is a real messy one. That noble potato bun tries its best but cannot contain the fleeing forces within.  

 

This Week In Star Trek

 

An incredibly fun scene from the episode "I Mudd", you can really tell the actors are having a blast doing it. Who knew that Performance Art was an elective at Starfleet Academy...

 

 

And another! Here's Tim Russ (Tuvok from Voyager) giving his own brief unique synopsis of the original Star Wars...

 

  

Baby Duck Takes Questions

 

If you're a QOTSA fan like myself, Josh Homme recently did a Reddit Ask Me Anything and his responses (all in video form) are worth watching. Plenty of music questions (Homme is famously quite secretive about his gear/setup but his reply to that one is especially lucid and positive), plus at one point he holds an absolutely adorable dog!  

The Reddit thread to all of the questions and replies is right here below: 

https://www.reddit.com/r/qotsa/comments/1bdyk9v/i_are_joshua_homme_here_to_answer_your_questions/

 

Tuesday Tune

 

Since my days at the Drake Hotel are a background part of this particular review, here is a song I always associate with that era of my life when working there. This song took up residence in the walls of the building for at least a summer or winter. Warning: it is extremely catchy so... listen at your own peril.

 

 

That's all for this week! Plenty of good stuff yet to come (hopefully this head cold f's off soon though...). Until next time, stay safe out there, watch out for those killer cars (yes, those killer cars!) but most of all don't spill that mustard.

 

The Tuesday Taste - North of Brooklyn Pizzeria

 

 

See her picture in a thousand places

'cause she's this year's girl

You think you all own little pieces

of this year's girl

Forget your fancy manners

Forget your English grammar 

'Cause you don't really give a damn

about this year's girl 

Another Tuesday... another Taste! And one involving a redemption tale, at that.

I have a strange history with North of Brooklyn. One of the founders indeed worked with me at Ossington Pizzeria Libretto way back when, was a cool dude, and now NoB has clearly been a success story... with several locations throughout the GTA. So.. naturally my bias would be towards positivity, no?

No. In fact, having only tried them twice before typing these words, I considered them grossly overrated. Both previous times I visited the Queen West location for a slice, both times whoever was working the counter was indifferent and terrible, and both times the slice was stale and un-inspired. None of this made sense to me: why do people love this place so much? Even considering them as among, or even the best, pizza in Toronto? In my initial list they weren't even Top 50... which is where dry, stale pizza and customer service will get you.

However... that was Queen West, and a half-decade ago at that. A fair re-evaluation was long due, considering their stellar reputation and generally good word of mouth. They have a sit down/take out location at Greenwood and Danforth, very close to where I paint signs as a side gig, and so it was finally time to really give North of Brooklyn an honest shot. 

 

 

Whereas my previous encounters with folks working at NoB had been negative, this was quite the reverse. Super friendly, and he gave me an extra garlic sauce! Surely the way into my heart has become common knowledge. 

Regardless, this particular location (shared with a bar called Better Half) doesn't do slices, so I ordered the Amatriciana pizza... a dish I definitely did not have to Google to know what it was. Nope. (luckily the cool dude was polite with my attempt to pronounce it). Anyhow, it's essentially a sausage, red onion, mozzarella and pecorino pie, much of that blended into the sauce, with some herbs sprinkled in for good measure.

I think my prior disinclination (totally a word) towards North of Brooklyn was two-fold: that awful service at that particular location, and never tasting any of their slices fresh. Because... yeah this is the real deal. Hot out of the oven, not sitting out in the dry air of disinterest? My friends, this is indeed a marvelous pizza.

 

 

The sauce reminds of a hearty tomato pasta sauce, and a very good one at that. And there is plenty of it, giving the considerable cheesiness of the pie right the right level of sweet sting. Terrific balance throughout: not too much of everything, and all of the flavours have just the right amount of presence. Every bite is enjoyable in its own way.

The mozzarella cheese has that beautiful buttery aftertaste, the red onions (and I am not an onions guy) provide an invaluable pinch that fits seamlessly into the other flavours... similar to icing on a cake it doesn't need the addition, but you like that it is there. 

Terrific crust as well. High quality char and the bread slowly unravels itself to reveal a fine taste of its own. Never too chewy, the pie itself isn't a floppy/droopy mess either... the composition is flawless. The appearance suggests burnt bread, but thankfully there is plenty of softness below that char. Goddamn... I wish I had more to say but it really is just that simple: this here is a truly excellent pizza.

The dipping sauce, which I was generously gifted a dual portion of? Sure! It has that ranch-like consistency, and while I usually dislike ranch dressing intensely when it is house-made the appeal of it increases greatly. A nice kick of dill as well, which pairs well with its garlicky base (again, garlic is the path to my heart). 

---

Overall! A redemption tale indeed. Did they know I was coming? Or who I am? Is my reputation as a pizza-crazed reviewing stranger becoming commonplace in this niche Toronto pizza world? 

Lord I hope not. Fortunately, my opinion on North of Brooklyn deserves the high level of praise and fame I hope to provide it. Marvelous stuff... and almost as good on the reheat test (frying pan definitely) as well. 

Is it the best pizza in Toronto? Definitively not, but through no fault of their own... Descendant, Defina, Badiali, Bello and Napoli Centrale, among a couple others, do indeed still exist. But North of Brooklyn, now finally having tried them in a better form... are definitely in that next tier for me. More than anything, I'm glad to have really tasted them at their best, and to finally understand what all the fuss was about. This is an easy "A-" for me, which probably places them within the top 15 or 20 pizzas Toronto has to offer. An 'A' range pizza for me means I have nothing negative whatsoever to say about it, and as you perhaps have noticed dear reader... this was all positive. 

I can't speak to their other locations beyond the one that twice disappointed me before the pandemic, or this Danforth one that completely redeemed them... but if this level of quality is semi-consistent throughout with their seven total locations, this is by far the best pizza 'chain' in Toronto.     

- Nacho Nacho Man

 

An article about the history of nachos? Why the hell not... read it here:

- Tuesday Tune

 

Go figure. I randomly go on a minor Elvis Costello revisit/kick while biking home from a rare daytime shift (helping set up BMO Field for the upcoming season)... and naturally it is announced the next day he is performing at Budweiser Stage (my summer gig) this summer with Daryl Hall of all people. Cool! Would love to catch a peek if I'm in the building. In the meantime, here's a tune from my very favourite Costello album, the second song from his sophomore record.

 

 

That's all for this week! Plenty of cool reviews upcoming while the Taste is currently renewed. Until next time... stay safe out there, keep warm, nothing but happiness but also just don't spill that mustard. 

   

  

This Week In Pizza: Afro's

 

 

This one is different. Very, very different. 

 

Afro's is a fairly new pizza joint located on Mutual Street just off of Dundas Street East. Despite the close proximity to the intensity of Yonge-Dundas Square (about three blocks east), Mutual Street is one of the quieter streets you can still find so deep in the downtown core of Toronto.

It is apparent upon even glancing upon the menu, the pizza itself is a fusion of several different ethnic cuisines. The Detroit style of the pizza is the obvious one, but one of the pies Afro's offers has distinct Asian inspired toppings like apple hoisin and crispy pork skin... while another leans more tropical with fried chicken and waffles(!) alongside pecans and compressed watermelon pre-soaked in tequila. One of their vegetarian options includes jackfruit, which I totally didn't have to Google to find out what that is. Nope. 

The sheer creativity of these combinations is impressively wild, and so when I strolled inside the tight space of Afro's on a sunny Friday afternoon and was instantly faced with multiple choices I'd never remotely imagined on a pizza before... I went for the one with tomato sauce, sausage and basil because I am boring. That's why they pay me the big bucks, heh.

No actually, the chicken/waffles pizza (named 'The Hendrix Experience', so extra points there) was very tempting... I've never seen watermelon on a pizza and I can't even imagine how waffles (even fried) would work on such a thing either. Alas, I'd had fried chicken the very night before (tough life, this food reviewing biz) and thus settled on a more traditional pizza offering. 

Before diving into that, some observations on the Afro's space itself. It's definitely not a spot where you go planning to eat your pizza inside, as like any true takeout joint there are no chairs and no space for such anyhow. The entire spot might be smaller than your average living room, which makes for a cramped three person pizza kitchen that dominates the majority of the space. 

I went in and was greeted by that very same fella from the video linked below (spoiler), and while this was before knowing that mini-doc existed I immediately got a sense he was one of the owners. Incredibly nice, friendly dude, and I bet he could talk about each of those pizzas on his menu for hours. Very happy to walk through the more unusual aspects of his menu, which I bet he has done more than once. 

All of it: the slightly cramped but not uncomfortable amount of space, the cheery chef, the funky names for the pizzas, the origin story... the secret ingredient to Afro's pizza might simply be charm. 

 

         

Afro's Pizza has a 5.0 rating on Google Review, with 114 (as of this writing) scores. That certainly caught my eye... I doubt I've ever seen that before. This pie you see above is the Davis Jr: housemade Sugo, pepperoni, sausage, sliced (not pickled) jalapeno, mozzarella cheese and fried basil. The pizzas come in three sizes and this is their personal size, which after tax and tip came in under fourteen bucks. That'll juice your Google score... wow. Simply a crazy deal considering this is a deep dish pizza and the four slices/quadrants you see aren't exactly woofed in a single bite. 

Bargains make my cynical taste buds suspicious and after my first chomp into this thing... well I'll be damned. It's good. Like, really good.

The sauce is really the standout: a fabulous balance of heartiness and sweet, bringing this robust flavour throughout many of the pizza. It pairs nicely with the fried basil, which feels like its there more for fragrance than taste but regardless I'm not complaining. The sausage gives a bit of a honey kick to it (there's possibly hot honey drizzled in but if so it's not a sticky presence), the pepperoni does crispy things that good pepperoni does, and yet this pork combo doesn't overwhelm the general taste with excess salt. Good cheese as well (though it doesn't reheat well) and having fresh sliced jalapenos instead of them pickled gives more crunch but less spice or punch. It's different, and frankly there are so many delightful flavours here some rogue jalapeno spice roughing it up wouldn't have been entirely welcome. 

Peering into the kitchen (it's hard not to, it's three feet from the register) I spotted they use a conveyor oven at high temperature, then dress the finished pizza with whichever toppings don't take well to such extreme heat. Which brings us to the texture of this pie. Detroit pizzas almost never reheat ideally: they're so tasty when fresh, with the crispy burnt cheese thin edges, soft dough underneath the sloppy surface... near pizza perfection. 

Afro's achieves this very goal when fresh, but most curious is the texture and taste of their dough. Completely unlike anything I've encountered: there's a cake-like consistency to it, a slight sweet sponginess that took about a slice (as the pie cooled) for me to truly notice. It's additionally strange considering this is one insanely oily pizza as well, but only on the very bottom... like a cake there were these layers of flavour and texture. While I'd say it was juuuuust a bit too oily in those spots, it really was unique to my experienced pizza tongue. 

---

I think Afro's is very much worth seeking out and trying, full stop. Frankly I'm eager to go back and try a couple of the more inventive options just to see if/how they pull them off. They clearly nail the basics at the very least. The price, in 2024 dollars, is insane considering how filling just two of these slices are. Just not a whole lot to nitpick with them. Impressive.

Yet nitpick I must. Not a great pizza on the reheat: the pan makes it too crispy and the flavour fades and the toaster oven can't unsoften it enough, but that does retain more of the taste. The oiliness can be a nuisance as well, making certain bites resemble more of a wet cake once the pizza is cooled. 

But that's really it. There is so much to like with Afro's, and while I wouldn't quite give them a 5/5 (don't worry, I won't ruin the perfect score by posting this on Google)... by my own grading system what we have here is a very very strong B++, maybe nudged into A-- territory. Frankly I'd lean more in the latter direction, and if they really do pull off their wilder creations (I suspect they do) the nudge over will be an easy one. Really fun, affordable, and tasty stuff. Check them out!           

As a bonus, here is a mini-documentary about the place. Worth a watch, if only for the charisma of the chef (the very same fella I encountered, the energy is genuine). 

 

    

The Tuesday Taste - The McRib

 

 

Save me

Save me, again

Make me

Make me lose you, and then

Save me

Save me, again

Make me

Make me use you, and then  

 

Another Tuesday... another Taste? Hey everyone. Been a while. I miss anything fun on Tuesdays while I was gone?

 

Since this is the first one of these in a while, just a quick rundown on the TT situation before we dive into the sauce of this review. 

Quite some time ago I stopped doing these every week for mostly financial reasons, but also to be honest: I was running out of ideas within the framework. Review a restaurant chain (ideally fast food) every week that has at least four locations... sounds easy. But after doing about 75 of them? The definitions were beginning to stretch, and my appetite for trying and reviewing different items at the same places over and over again was the opposite of appealing. For instance, the initial run of the Tuesday Taste ended with me comparing the BK Big Fish against McDonald's Filet-O-Fish. The defense rests. 

And yet, inspiration has struck so we're back! Forever! Yeeeeeah... not really. 

I genuinely loved doing the TT every week but for many reasons it can't become a permanent thing at this point in my life. Maybe if a newspaper/online publication paid my expenses....? (keep dreaming). But! The good news is that the Tuesday Taste is indeed back for a limited run. Every Tuesday, for the next ten weeks (maybe twelve, we'll see) I'll be checking out and reviewing some notable food chains... just like the way we used to do. However, since this is a temporary revival, I'm skirting my initial limitation of "four locations or more" and will check out a few spots 'below that rule' throughout Toronto I've been meaning to wander upon. It's an excuse to try them and plus it gets me out of the house. Beyond spending dough, I see no downside. 

Anyhow, housekeeping over. Hiatus over. Here we go! Let's kick this glorious return off with the finest of cuisines... a shining light among the highest chefs seeking epiphanies to perfect their craft... the sword in the stone amidst everything I've ever spoken about in these reviews. Ladies and gentlemen... the McRib. 

 

 

Truly no worthy eyes have ever set their gaze upon such a magnificent cut of prestin--- okay enough with this shtick. You're thinking it, I'm thinking it... this thing looks like shit. Like, actual shit. I'll avoid the tired AVGN similes (sorry James Rolfe) to describe precisely what kind of shit it resembles... but yeah this thing simply looks terrible. 

Brown is just rarely an appealing colour, right? I mean... brown hair is lovely... chocolate of course... brown leaves on an Autumn day... deliciously darker ales and lagers... there are many exceptions! Alas, when something looks rather runny atop a log-like piece... the jokes become too easy. 

We are getting ahead of ourselves and frankly the appearance of the McRib had little-to-nothing to do with my overall impression of eating it. Instead, lets go back in time for a while. 

The year is 2003, think I'm in Grade Ten, and still watching The Simpsons every Sunday night (at 8!). A rather forgettable episode about Lisa in a spelling bee (some good gags but I legit had to Google which one this was) is aired, but the B-plot is about Homer falling in love with this limited time menu addition at Krusty Burger: the Ribwich. He falls for it pretty hard (a Requiem For A Dream reference even), and eventually joins a band of "Ribheads" (yeeeeah... okay) who travel the country following the Ribwich around at every city it stops at. 

As a story... yeah it's pretty stupid, and a mountain below Simpsons at their absolute best. But! The whole 'Ribwich as an addictive drug sandwich' thing is memorable, and certainly stuck with me. I'm writing about it right now for cryin' out loud. Imagine the surprise when soon afterwards, fifteen year old me discovered that McDonald's actually had a rib sandwich as the basis of this parody... it kinda spooked me. Since we didn't have it in Canada at the time, and American fast food chains are essentially like ours except completely turbocharged... my young mind developed a bizarre association towards this particular item.

Eventually I grew into an adult ("yeah right" is the correct reaction) and when the McRib at last visited Canada for a brief period in 2014... I made my Ribwich jokes and thought nothing else of it. You see, I'm a weirdo (the opposite reaction of the "yeah right" above) who doesn't drink coffee and also just doesn't like McDonald's at all. Hunger has legitimately been the preferable option, and if not for these reviews I'd probably have eaten McD's less than five times in my adult life. 

Yet... the McRib coming back... the Tuesday Taste coming back... both only for a limited time... both notorious for tons of filler that signifies little substanc-I-mean lets finally talk about this darn sandwich! Hope you missed me.

 

      

To echo my earlier point: yeah it looks terrible. At least the Ribwich used a hamburger bun instead of a hot dog one, although considering the shape of ribs this real version makes a lot more sense. Also: I know my experience is very (intentionally) limited but McDonald's buns just suck. Like, truly just consistently the worst. It's not like any of the big fast food burger chains have good bread... it's processed bread in a high volume food space, I get that. Yet, even so McD's are always uniformly stale throughout. No other fast food joint has buns this consistently dry-spongey, and it has just always bugged me since I started reviewing their items. If I ever go to McDonald's again I might become one of those "lettuce bun" people*... this is how bad they are!

 

*for the record, this is a joke. If you have a gluten allergy or are trying to avoid carbs this switch makes perfect sense. I'm just 'ribbing' you... haha! see what I did there? okay sorry back to the review 

 

Now the McRib itself. It's an incredibly simple concoction: rib patty, sauce, pickles and onions. As a foundation, simple does not mean bad and with good quality ingredients this combination makes a lot of sense. I don't like sliced white onions (hurl your pitchforks) and so my McRib only had pickles, which eliminates some of that stingy sweetness you get from an onion but trust me this thing doesn't need any more sweetness. 

The sauce. Maybe I'm biased because I love both BBQ sauce and sandwiches slathered to the point of dripping... but this McRib sauce is actually rather solid. Definitely a sweetness and a tang, and you can tell the 'rib' portion is mass-produced because with good ribs the BBQ sauce rub will seep into the meat of the fresh rack. Please, please, don't be so shocked at this revelation. But honestly... if you like BBQ sauce this is indeed quite nice. It is on the sweeter side but it doesn't overstay that welcome... which is good because there's probably more sauce on here than anything else, including that pathetic bun.

The meat! Again, I'm a legit weirdo and so at one point was checking this rib patty to see if/how it'd been de-boned. I'm fun at parties too. No but seriously, it's obviously pork rib meat that has been blended together and reformed into a shape that resembles a half-rack. As such... you get that uniform taste of pork rib throughout, for better and (definitely) worse. Some of the fun when eating ribs are the meatier tender bits versus the fattier greasy bits... each bite is different. Not here. 

To be fair, for a processed pork rib patty is this pretty okay. You taste some manufactured char, it's uniformly juicy, whatever. Indeed, I used to order a similarly tasting rib patty sub from the Mr Sub across from Jesse Ketchum school in junior high. It was one of their premium ones (seven bucks? In 1999 dollars? Oh no!) and was a special kind of treat compared to the usual cheap pizza subs I'd go for. Of course, Mr Sub wouldn't drench their minced rib patty in BBQ sauce (just a slight brush of it) and you could add which toppings you wanted on it... which segues into my final thought here. 

 

----

 

Overall. I don't recommend the McRib, but probably for a reason you don't expect. It needs more. Sure, I got it without the onions but even then, I don't think a superhero team of pickles and onions are saving this thing. No, what it needs is coleslaw. Something with crunch and vinegar (or creaminess, depending on your slaw preference) to add another element. I mean, with meat of this particularly meh quality and production there likely isn't much saving that can be done... but it could be at least more interesting. 

I legitimately thought the sauce was alright, but that's all you taste throughout this adventure and even I don't like my sandwiches that saucy. I haven't even described the pickles because what's the point. If you haven't noticed that omission by now, then yeah case closed.

Sadly enough, this was one of the better McDonald's items I've reviewed. Probably even the most enjoyable. At least it was sort of different and interesting... unlike eating plastic on those previous occasions. The McRib isn't good, hell it's far from good... and the messiness of it probably makes its marketability logistically difficult when a significant portion of your revenue are from Drive-Thrus. Well, Drive Thrus don't like cyclists (trust me I've tried) and for a sitting down and eating experience: a McRib is an extremely 'whatever' one. The greatest praise I've ever given McDonald's. And my heart grew seven sizes this day.

 

Tuesday Tune 

 

If like the McRib we are back for a limited time, gotta bring back some of the features. I've been on a bit of a kick with these guys lately (it's quite a catalogue) and their latest album is the best record they've made in over a decade. Really good. Here they are performing one of those tracks on the likewise awesome KEXP radio/YouTube channel (check them out too... lots of great bands have passed through that studio):

 

  

---

 

Thanks for reading, it does feel good to be back. While we're starting on a dud I definitely have some very cool spots (I hope) to review in my quiver, so stay tuned! Same Taste channel, same Taste day. Until next Tuesday... stay warm and don't spill that mustard.