This Week In Pizza: King Slice

 

 

(Yes this photo was obviously taken on the subway, no need to point that out.)

 

Oh, King Slice. What a long, strange journey it has been. 

They've been around for quite a while (1989 according to their website) with even their second location on Queen Street West passing the decade mark as well. Speaking of decades, the 2010s was really the era I was going to King Slice rather frequently (as frequently as an east-ender can, I mean). Multiple influences (mostly a former friend living there, also my mum in that brutal dual-condo on the corner of Dundas/Bloor) threw me into the High Park area at least once a week... and the residual late night food options on that stretch of Bloor are not exceptional. 

The McDonald's in the Dundas West subway! Actual Subway! Pizza Pizza! Tim Horton's! All the hits! But... if you could plan it just right, before they close at midnight (pardon the rhyme time)... a King Slice slice was waiting for you and was so infinitely better than all of those combined together. Not to mention they also made an enormous and damn delicious calzone. Giddy up.

My affinity for King Slice was so high, I even ranked them 10th in my initial Pizza Quest back in 2019. Tenth! In the entire freaking city! (the ranking fell to 14th in my 2022 revision) Which now brings us here, to 2024. 

See, it had been that exact five year span since I'd last been to King Slice, for various reasons (pandemic, a falling out with that friend, my mum moving to another city) I just wasn't in the High Park area a whole lot anymore. 

However, even so I'd also heard the reputation of King Slice was severely slipping. Something about it wasn't the same. Bad service was another complaint, which I can attest to: in late 2020 I was doing a painting gig in the area and during my hungry lunch break I called in to order a calzone for pick up. About twenty-ish minutes it'll be ready, I was told. No problem. I show up twenty-five minutes later, thinking I'm gonna have to wolf half of this hot calzone down before getting back to work... except there's no calzone. The dude had my name and order, but (apparently) was waiting for me to show up first. Yeeeah... that's how that works. "I'll make it and put it now! That'll be 13 doll--" Naturally, I replied with a more polite version of "I have to get back to work right now you stupid idiot, fuck off." 

And that was the last time I went to King Slice... until now. 

 

 

 

They've never had great selection among their slices: your standard pepperoni, deluxe, Hawaiian, Margherita etc... so I've always gone for the Arrabiata. No meat, sure, but you get a nice mix of earthy mushrooms, some herbal lightness and some spicy punch from the jalapenos. At least, once upon a time you did.

Yeah. This isn't exactly rocket science or brain surgery, so I'm not gonna be poetic about it. The whisperings are true, King Slice is barely a shadow of what it once was. Even here, freshly made from the oven a mere moment before it was in my hands... this was it's peak performance and it did not pass the test. Not good. Now, lets figure out how and why. 

This slice was... just so uninspired. The cheese, frankly reminds me of Pizzaville... which I consider an okay-ish pizza chain but yeah clearly when I'm comparing you to a chain you're off to a bad start. It doesn't even slightly resemble a quality full-flavoured, buttery mozzarella... this is like that pre-shredded stuff you buy in a grocery store that has a plasticy taste to it. Melts nicely, sure, but there's a chemical in there that makes it do that. This is just... so sad. Cheap is a better word.

It gets a little better with the tomato sauce, there's a somewhat vibrant tomato flare, although fairly uneven throughout the slice (sometimes huge chunks, other times barely noticeable). The toppings though... this is where the problems really show. Just something very bargain bin about it: watery mushrooms (pre-frozen I'm figuring, which I get but here they're not given any effort to jazz them up) and the jalapenos are just sort of thrown on like the most careless of afterthoughts. I like spicy things but if you're giving me a taco or a slice of pizza with a chunk of hot pepper that's two inches thick, not on the side but in the thing itself... well I'm gonna think there's something haphazard and lazy about what you're doing. 

The only thing saving this from true catastrophe is the dough/crust, and it thankfully remains as wonderfully tasty as ever. Very buttery, lightly crisp on the outside (and the bottom of the slice) while still soft and bready within. The texture of the slice remains pretty okay, although the awful cheap cheese messes with that a fair bit.  

And still! They have their wonderful garlicy/basil rub they put on the slice, which barely comes through on here may I add... I playfully said to the fella "don't skimp on that" to which he didn't even respond, did not give me a generous amount, and probably was more interested in the attractive 20-something girls also in the place. Hey I get it (as a 36 year old I'm really battling my conscience regarding how I can look at women born the year I went to the prom) but also ladies: you can do better. This pizza ain't it.  

 

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Overall. So, in a macro sense, what exactly has gone wrong here? Change in ownership? Cost-saving tweaks to the recipes? Bad management? Apathy after over three decades in business? Were they never all that amazing to begin with? Whatever it may be, I simply cannot recommend this to anyone, nor do I suspect I'm ever going back. To be succinct: King Slice is bland and overpriced. A shame, seeing as they truly were one of my favourites just half a decade ago. 

The clincher: the price. Yeah, everything and everywhere has gotten more expensive, and their slices remain massive... and personally I don't care all that much if what was once five bucks is now eight as long as the quality remains high. But it hasn't. My stomach didn't feel tiptop after eating this either, which is simply never a good sign. 

It's a precipitous fall from glory, and here's the hard landing. It's a "C-" and only barely. One of my pizza reviewing rules: if days later you're still thinking of other new ways it disappointed you, the grade keeps dropping from the initial moment (the opposite is true as well). 

If not for that crust remaining good, this is expensive Pizzaville and hell I'd probably take that over King Slice anyhow. The cheapness of the taste here cannot be ignored, there's so little substance. I doubt they even crack my Top 125 in Toronto at this point. Pour one out for the past, once upon a time we truly had something.