The Tuesday Taste 2021 Finale: Wendy's Value Menu

 

 

I've watched the dogs of war

enjoying their feast

I've seen the western world

go down in the east

The food of love became

the greed of our time

And now we're living on

the profits of crime

 

Another Tuesday, another Taste... and the last one of the year even. Considering that occasion, it seemed an excellent reason to try something I've wanted to do for a while... the Wendy's cheap (I mean 'Everyday Value') menu! 

This is only the second time I've reviewed any Wendy's item. You'd have to go way back to February, the second ever episode in fact, when I wrote about Dave's Single with Cheese. Looking back on that review... it seems the pandemic was going strong, I had to walk to my nearest Wendy's and back home again (about an hour each way) and also that Daft Punk had just broken up. Well... forty episodes later things are definitely a lot different. I mean, Daft Punk is still broken up... the pandemic still rages onward... but I have a functioning bicycle now! At least, none of this walking for over two hours crap!

What's that you say? Below freezing temperatures? Heavy lake winds? Snow everywhere? Gawd damn it...

Despite it being, you know, Canadian Winter and all... I jumped on my bike and rode to Wendy's because I am a crazy idiot... I mean fearlessly rugged (sure we'll go with that). Since it had been a significant of time since I'd been to a Wendy's (likely that review), I looked online beforehand to see what exactly was their value menu these days. That hot dog proved to be inconclusive, so like Spock I went for Plan B... surprise me!

The Wendy's Value Menu has seven options, at least my location did: Your JBC (junior bacon cheeseburger), five chicken nuggets, spicy chicken wrap, grilled chicken wrap, the Double Stack (some double cheeseburger thing), a double JBC, and a small poutine (advertised as a new item). Getting three cheeseburgers seemed excessively redundant (at least for the purposes of a review) so I went for the JBC solo and the other non burger options (except the grilled chicken wrap). Fortunately before ordering I spotted their 'Sides' menu, spotted they still had chili cheese nachos and well, that completed the quintet you see above.

As per usual when I review multiple things, we'll go one by one. 

 

The poutine was the pleasant surprise of the evening (is 5pm actually considered 'evening' even if it's already totally dark? Ughhh winter is stupid). It's also the very first poutine I've reviewed here on the TT. I wouldn't say it blew me away, but as far as non-Quebec sub-four dollar poutines go... hard to do better. I've never much cared for Wendy's fries but they've notably improved from the flimsy, horribly undercooked and hollow taste they once had. Here they're quite okay, crispy in the right spots and have just the right amount of saltiness. Also, actual cheese curds! Not great quality curds (they lack that rubbery squeakiness you need) but I appreciate the effort and the portion generosity. One thing I don't appreciate is the gravy: it itself is fine (your typical rich, salty thin beef gravy) but there's hardly any of it on here. You can't tell by the photo but half of these fries underneath were completely dry. Damn, so close. Otherwise, this is a somewhat acceptable fast food poutine option. When you consider the number of Montreal poutines I've been spoiled by (aka where the real stuff is)... this is seriously high praise from the likes of me.

 

  

Reviewing nachos is kind of a strange one, especially of this caliber. I mean, they're freaking nachos... you'd have to really screw something up to make them bad. 

I'll dissect the elements: the chips themselves are your generic standard circle corn tortilla chips, nothing else needs to be said. The "cheese" half of these chili-cheese 'chos is again, your standard gooey singularly coloured nacho cheese that Tostitos sell in jars at the grocery store (and defining it as "cheese" is a consistent stretch). Really the only interesting thing to talk about is the chili. I've been cooking a lot of homemade chili from scratch during the pandemic, and so feel I can provide some particular insight on this. Biggest thing: where the heck is the chili seasoning? There's nary a hint of pepper, garlic powder, ground chili... it's so bland. They do get the texture correct: this is a beany chili, complimented by clusters of ground beef and runny tomato sauce. Very, very basic stuff... the ground floor lobby of chili creations. I didn't expect anything exploding with flavour considering it is a Wendy's after all... but flavour-wise this is extremely dull when not drenched in fake plastic cheese goo. The beans and meat do work and are plentiful enough, it's just that the overall chili taste desperately needs a secondary boost. 

Also, this is extremely watery (as you can see) and despite me eating this five minutes after getting it at least half of the corn chips were a soggy mess. I'd suggest ordering the chips on the side if somehow possible. A good hack I discovered though: mixing my dry poutine fries in the leftover chili juice. Does the/a job.

 

     

And I thought nachos were hard to review... 

Look, they're chicken nuggets. You've tried one, you've probably tried em all (at least as far as fast food goes). Comparing these to, say, the frozen kind you see at Loblaws like the PC brand or Jane's... I like how these Wendy's ones have more give to them. There's more juice and less of a crunchy breading layer for such a small morsel of chicken. The texture is enjoyable, it tastes like minced breaded white chicken and the nuggets are easily dipped (the honey mustard sauce you see is like a honey mustard with a slight mix of mayo). Basically, this is pretty much what you'd want and expect when setting your sights in this particular snacking direction. 

Beyond the chicken, this spicy chicken wrap doesn't have a whole lot going on. I like the spice of it (definitely cooked into the chicken, a breaded tender in disguise), the taste reminds me a lot of their regular spicy chicken sandwich (much like a Nashville style where the spice is in the seasoning/marinade, not a particular sauce). Some decent, not overwhelming heat here that won't linger on the tongue but will warm up your mouth a bit on these cold days. 

The rest is very bare, dry bones: the kind of thing you make for yourself at home when your fridge is almost empty. Only the shredded cheddar cheese and breaded chicken provide any impact, and well I've never really liked that particular combination... the aggressive sharpness of the cheddar cuts against the chicken. Breaded chicken and mozzarella? Or havarti? Or a creamier cheese? Or even gooey nacho cheese? It works. Generic shredded orange cheddar? Not so much... like two different powers fighting for control. I'm pretty underwhelmed here, even at the cheap price... this wrap is skeletal as far as how much empty space is within. 

 

 

Lets finish on the bacon cheeseburger, junior style. I'd like to start by saying/arguing that Wendy's makes a superior hamburger to both McDonalds and Burger King. It ain't great, but at least I can taste the beef within the beef (unlike the imitation beef texture of BK or the McDonald'sy flavour of McDonald's). I think the greatest advantage is Wendy's burger patty is noticeably greasier, at least this miniature version is. Greasiness, at least not in gross abundance, is good for a burger and after my misadventure with a Quarter Pounder a couple weeks back... it's nice to get something that doesn't need to be drowned in sauce in order to save its texture. That said, this JBC likewise has way too much mayo on it. 

The rest of the burger is fine: your standard and thankfully melted (*cough* McD's *cough*) processed cheese, the strong plastic taste of which is thankfully semi-muted by the beef having flavour. Crispy bacon strips and your cheapest tiny buns (not stale, they just don't taste like anything beyond an effective holder for the layers between) round up the rest. As a snack burger it's positively adequate. 

 

Overall... I mean none of these cost more than four bucks (aside from the poutine none were more than 2.70)... how much can I complain really? I'm definitely more frustrated/annoyed when shelling out over ten dollars for something that's gross or bland, and many of those I've reviewed have been horribly worse than anything here. In the spirit of a "Value" menu, lets talk about which ones I consider the best bargains, the best executed from a culinary point of view, and whether I'd consider getting one again. Some quick synopses (synopsi?) and judgements:

Spicy Chicken Wrap: Definitely not. It's uninteresting, the flavours don't mix and you'll be tasting more cheese and wrap than anything else. Make something with more depth at home.

Chili-Cheese Nachos: I probably wouldn't get it again, but aside from the soggy chips (the biggest problem) it was a serviceable snack and they aren't frugal with the chili. 

Chicken Nuggets: They're super cheap, okay-ish chicken nuggets. I'd be most likely to get a few orders, take them home and make tacos with them or something. Hell I've probably done that before. My brain doesn't work too good recalling them Beforetimes.

Junior Bacon Cheeseburger: Honestly, I love little snack burgers when done well (and affordably). The JBC might not be as flavourful or distinctive as A&W's Buddy Burger (or as aggressively salty, so points for Wendy's there) but when in the mood for a more traditional style American cheeseburger in tiny cheap form this is a good choice.

Poutine: Like I said, the competence of it was the surprise of the trip. I hope they keep this on the 'value' menu and improve on it somewhat, such as getting more gravy in there or getting those fries just a bit more cooked. The curds could be further melted also. Otherwise, there's a serviceable foundation here. The kind of frugal poutine I'd get and add my own stuff to like sliced pastrami or sauteed mushrooms... but lets not go down that path... yet... wuhahahaha!!!!!!

 

Burnt Ends -- Go read my review of the Led Zeppelin albums if you haven't! Do it now! Now! Nooowwwwwwwwww....! Gawd I can be annoying sometimes all the time.

Aside from that... I've been watching the Star Wars prequel films and oh lord they hurt my brain... at least that's what the brain doctor says. Still planning on writing a ranking of the trilogy movies that hopefully should come out early in the new year, so keep your eyes open for that.  

      

Raptors Versus Cavs/Covid -- Simply put, a disgrace to NBA basketball as a product. What was the point of that. Was this a troll job? Did Adam Silver have money on Cleveland? My respect goes out to the remaining Raptor players at least, dealt an automatic losing hand and at least showing some serious professionalism playing under the most trying and ridiculous of circumstances. I mean, that can be true while I can also say how Chris Boucher and Svi Mykhailiuk took some of the dumbest, ugliest and most team unfriendly shots I've ever seen in an NBA game. Pure absurdity. The Raptors might've lost by 80... 80! if not for Yuta Watanabe. Fuck you, Covid. Fuck you at light-speed into a million flaming suns.

 

Greenwood Scores -- If you've read enough of these you surely know of my affinity for Radiohead. The band hasn't been particularly active the past few years as most of their members have focused on solo projects, particularly Jonny Greenwood who's become in-demand as a film soundtrack composer. This interview with Greenwood about that stuff is incredibly interesting, diving into the process and mindset of creating music for film scenes (although admittedly some of the musical theory/technical terms of orchestration goes way over my head). It's still a cool read into the creative process, the origins of creative interests and musical avenues. Check it out.   

 

The Future -- Things are gonna slide... slide in all directions.

As said last week, I'm going to try keeping the weekly show going consistently every week the best I can. Circumstances will make that a difficult task, what with the being unemployed again thanks to Covid, potential Covid restrictions themselves, and of course Winter! Oh my god damn youuu snow...!

I still have a long list of ideas for future reviews, however not many left are within my area and today was an unpleasant reminder how biking through snow is a bloody nightmare. Love doing the show, but not enough to the point where I'll walk hours in a blizzard or add TTC in addition to my expenses while doing it. We will see. Worst case is I have to take a couple weeks off at some point. 

 

Tuesday Tune -- Despite already referencing multiple other artists already in this episode, or mostly listening to NES soundtracks while writing this... the final song of 2021 has nothing to do with any of that. I tend to become grouchy during holiday season and started listening to these guys again just to counteract all the Christmas music that was irritating me so, so much. Listening to Vol. 4, a 70s rock record fueled recklessly by cocaine, while riding my bike on the 25th to go buy beer (shoutout Rorschach Brewery)... it was a very unique Christmas experience. Anyway this song isn't on that album but truly is one of my all time favourites by them, Top 3 at least. 

 

   

That's it for me this year! What a year it was. Perhaps not the absolute nightmare that 2020 was... but still very, very bad and sad in so many ways. I'm not the optimistic type anymore-ish... but I do want to be gracious and thank everybody from the bottom of my heart for reading these. Whether this is your first taste of the... um... Tuesday Taste, or you've been checking out this work from the beginning, or anywhere inbetween... seriously thank you so much. Writing these reviews and getting feedback, or just simply knowing people out there actually read my crazy ramblings (I mean "journalism") genuinely means the world to me and has truly helped keep the energy of it (and myself) continuously going. 

We'll have even more fun next year, that's a guarantee. Hey, maybe I can be optimistic after all... but until then, see you all next year. Stay safe, stay kind, stay healthy and most of all... don't spill that mustard.