And then you get an artist
he says he doesn't want to paint at all
Just takes an empty canvas
sticks it on a wall
Birds of a feather
all the phonies and all of the fakes
While the dealers they get together
and they decide who gets the breaks
Another Tuesday... another Taste!
We're going somewhat off the map this week, and quite unnecessarily so. Doing things for no reason? Why that could easily be the description right underneath the heading of this website...
Aside from checking out the Arby's in St. Catharines last summer, all of these Tuesday reviews have been somewhere in Toronto (this might've changed had I actually made it to California last November... but no need to dig up that grotesque month any further again).
Why am I even mentioning this? Because the subject of our review this week, Rosie's Burgers, are originally based out of Port Credit, an area in south-east Mississauga which indeed is not part of Toronto proper. We're off the map now, people!
Rosie's now have four locations total: the newer ones on Queen West and inside The Well complex (where we tried BHC Chicken) and another location all the way in Calgary. For reviewing purposes all of those would've been much simpler to travel to (okay, maybe not the Alberta one) but forget convenience or common sense! (Truly a slogan for 2025). On a snowy Sunday evening whim I hopped on a GO train and traveled to the little Port Credit spot where it all began for Rosie's Burgers.
Rosie's is still a youthful entry on the burger scene (they are another "smash" style), established in 2020 by brothers Daniel and Dustin Gelman (the name "Rosie's" is itself named for their grandmother). There is some kind of brand affiliation/ownership thingy here with umbrella food company Happy Belly, which operate a bunch of other names I've totally never heard of (IQ Food Co. sounds semi-familiar?)... but via this connection, I imagine, has made Rosie's such rapid expansion more logistically possible and much less surprising. Barely five years in operation and already with four locations, with five(!) more planned (another in Calgary, a few more in Toronto while Hamilton and Burlington will likewise get a taste of Rosie's soon). I highly recommend reading this Burlington Reddit about the announcement, if only for the tales/theories about the previous tenant of the space, a frequently empty Mamma's Pizza, operating as a mob front (allegedly!).
I've written before about how when restaurants franchise out like this, especially rapidly, often what made the food/product so special in the first place gets severely diluted. Burger's Priest, or Smokes Poutinere, or even Pizzeria Libretto good examples of this: all are still decent but have also been lapped by significantly better options in their lane. Or in the case of Smoke's they expand like crazy for a few years in the midst of a trend that eventually bursts (The Great Toronto Poutine Bubble of the late 2000s)... once everywhere in the city, now there are barely any Smoke's left all at. Are Toronto smash burgers a similar kind of bubble? Are there too many of these places doing this same thing now and the market has become over-saturated? Probably. The one difference/advantage here may be that: cheeseburgers are generally more popular among average folks than poutine (at least anywhere other than Quebec).
Hey, to my benefit I'm getting to review Rosie's before they're completely everywhere, and sampling their original location no less. I might hate McDonald's but if I ever got a chance to try their oldest location (it's third one ever opened, 1953 in Downey, California) I'd have to do it. Speaking of that, said Rosie's OG location is conveniently a very short walk from the Port Credit GO station.
This was my first time ever walking around in Port Credit, and I must say this little stretch of Lakeshore Road was rather charming... full of little restaurants and shops with Lake Ontario very much in the near background (quite a bit like Mimico). I even killed some time wandering around Tall Oaks Park while the sun was setting... genuinely seems like an excellent place to go off and spend a warm summer afternoon in (rather than a frosty January one).
The original Rosie's Burgers is not a large space at all, with a small table or two and limited counter seating as you can see. Definitely geared towards a takeout operation, which even on a Sunday evening had some considerable action.
It's another very simple menu: cheeseburgers are singles or doubles, there's a fried chicken option, sides are fries or onion rings (or both)... meanwhile for dessert they have milkshakes, cookies, and (unusually) a banana pudding. Most annoyingly (for me) was how they also offer chili cheese fries... something I noticed after already making my order. Damnit! I commented how I wish I'd known this while leaving, to which the friendly young dude behind the counter mentioned that only came on the menu a week earlier and he keeps forgetting as well. Son of a gun.... (shakes fist at snowy sky).
Alas, I had to settle for a fries/onion rings combination ("frings" as we've inexplicably decided to call them). I know I know, it's a tough life.
Once again we've got crinkle fries... which at this point I'm convinced are as popular as freaking smash burgers themselves. How is it the only curly fries I've reviewed in the past calendar year were from freaking Arby's? Seriously... curly fries rule and in these times of severe duress world needs much more of them.
As far as crinkle cut fries go, these are in the better tier of the ones I've reviewed. Aloette Go's were pretty forgettable and blandly soft once the winter cold got to them... Rosie's here does not have that problem. A firm crispiness throughout, even on the larger fries, and they were also still delicious once the heat had faded... definitely a notable hint of a seasoning salt and oily flavour but never too much to upset the tongue. Meanwhile, the potato within is delicate and tastily creamy. Simply terrific fries (that I wish were drenched in some cheesy chili, damnit...)
Speaking of oily... I don't often get onion rings as a side (a life choice I'm sure my bodily circulation agrees with) despite indeed finding them delicious. There's a lot to like (greasy fried onions in crunchy batter? Who could refuse?) and maybe I just have weird tastes (omit that "maybe") but a full portion of onion rings to myself becomes too much of that certain thing. As a type of half-portion mixed in with fries? That's the perfect amount I'd want. Three or four rings I think is the perfect amount where the enjoyment doesn't morph into repetitive greasy regret in it's purest oily form.
The onion rings themselves... I suppose there aren't many differences between most onion rings are there? You've had one, you've had most of em... onions don't really change do they. Some places might use different kinds of batter mix, or season them differently... resulting in a different texture or taste in the breading. Some can be crunchier or more crumbly... saltier or more peppery.
I think I can safely say Rosie's keeps their onion rings very old school, as the dominant flavours are just "fried", "onion", and however you want to describe what "crunch" tastes like. This simplicity works totally fine, as there isn't any kind of cheap or old oil taste to these rings at all. Sometime with such heavily battered things, you can get that "cakey" sensation in your mouth. Not here. Obviously these rings are oily (they're freaking onion rings) but there's a baseline of quality preparation and ingredients here that elevates this well above a generic greasy spoon.
Plus, that crunch is just so satisfying... and here it hits that sweet spot with just enough bready moisture to not be stale or dry either.
Here we go, another smash cheeseburger... it's like 2024 never ended (please tell me it ended). It has a potato bun and a house relishy-mayo-sauce and it's probably going to taste really good... *takes bite* yep! I knew it! This tastes really good.
It's becoming hard to explain what makes all these smash burgers I've reviewed actually different from each other. The issue is how basically all of them have been really tasty, and so the real differences lie deep within the details. Even then, this isn't like describing a pizza... where a different kind of cheese or sauce or dough can completely change the entire makeup of a pie. The composition of a cheeseburger is much more narrow and conceptually streamlined. To be honest I'd argue it's a big reason why the smash style has caught on with such recent trending popularity because it itself is a different way of making something typically so simple (yes I know smash burgers are not a new thing, just that the influx of so many new places doing them is).
Nevertheless... Rosie's makes a damn fine burger. This one has more crispy edges along the outside of the beef than other places I've reviewed... giving such a vivid beef and salt flavour that is irresistible on each bite as the mix of flavours erupt in the mouth. The softness and lightly sweet potato bun is a necessary touch of course, while this Rosie's house sauce is very much like your standard "Burger Sauce" of mayo/relish/ketchup mixed all together... they do put a nice amount of it on (I like my burgers saucy) and there's an additional kick to it (a richness) that indeed elevates it. On a bite with a particular amount of lettuce, it really calls to mind what the Big Mac sauce should be if, you know, McDonald's didn't completely suck. Yeah, I can't resist the cheap shots.
One weakness could be that with their single (which I got) the beef is more part of an ensemble than the superstar within the burger. Rosie's isn't shy with the lettuce, the cheese, the sauce and tomato... and I confess I see the appeal here of the double patty burger to shift that balance towards the beef. It's definitely capable of handling that spotlight.
The single is still good enough that you get a wonderful juicy grilled/smashed beef flavour all throughout. Compared to the other smashy smashie's I've tried, this is one of the greasier ones but it's more a flavourful grease that's cooked in it's own delicious juices... not a heavy artificial kind that turns the stomach. The combination of crispy juiciness within the soft bun... so simple but so good when it's pulled off like this.
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Overall! While if you live in the east side of Toronto I wouldn't really recommend venturing all the way out to Port Credit like I did for "reason" (especially when it's January and snowing)... but I most certainly recommend Rosie's Burgers! I liked everything here quite a lot: high quality fries, simple but tasty onion rings, and a basic smash burger done with expert skill.
I'll reiterate my concerns about their expansion(ings) happening so rapidly that it could eventually lessen what currently makes them so genuinely good. Heck, as I write this I haven't even tried any location they have in Toronto yet (the city I actually live in) and it's already entirely possible those newer outposts aren't quite as good as the original joint. Hopefully they can both expand the brand while spreading these tasty burgers throughout the land. Hey, what a rhyme! I hope it still stands when I bring it to the band, otherwise I'll feel quite bland... ugh, what am I doing? Time to bury my head in the sand...
One final point on Rosie's I maybe should've punched harder on: they're really not doing anything all that complicated, food or recipe-wise. Fifteen years ago or whenever it was, one thing that gave Burger's Priest such initial notoriety were their (not totally original but well-marketed) wild and crazy items like grilled cheese sandwiches as buns for a burger, or a portabello mushroom stuffed with cheese on top of a burger patty... not to mention the buzz of a "secret menu" taken straight from the In-N-Out playbook.
Unless Rosie's does have a secret menu I'm not aware of (those chili cheese fries sure were a secret until they weren't, grumble grumble) they've taken the opposite approach. This is just pure simple charm, making top notch fast food burgers with considerable care. Again, I wish them well and hope the quality remains the same as they seek to go where not many burgers have gone before.
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Weiner, Gagnant
As a public service here on West Collier Street, I'd like to offer up this excellent visual guide to regional hot dogs and their configurations/toppings. My only takeaway is how damned popular onions are on hot dogs/sausages basically everywhere in the entire world.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ghq0NMCWwAAYxNB?format=jpg&name=large
Conan The Pizzabarian
It's Conan being Conan in a legendary NYC pizza joint. What's not to like...
Rainy Day Albums No. 12 and 35
Neat little article from Rolling Stone that ranks, regardless of the music behind it, all 40 of Bob Dylan's studio records based on their album cover art. This combines two things I love: album covers and ranking things! Surprise surprise, the records regarded as Dylan's worst also tend to have the worst artwork as well... but I don't want to spoil things too much. A fun read even if you're not a Dylan fan: it mostly just talks about the visuals. Check it out:
Tuesday Tune
When he's cooking, Knopfler is a damn wizard on the six string, man.
That's all for this week! Until next time you all know the drill: stay safe, stay warm and most of all don't spill that mustard.
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