And all around your island
There's a barricade
It keeps out the danger
It holds in the pain
And sometimes you're happy
Sometimes you cry
Half of me is ocean
Half of me is sky
Another Tuesday... another Taste. It's a quick one this week, as later tonight I've gotta split for Scotiabank Arena to work the first game of the NHL Eastern Conference Finals and *checks notes* oh. Oh! OH DEAR GOD NO!
(too soon? Nah. It's hard to be "too soon" when you're talking about half a century)
Well... now that I have plenty of time this Tuesday, lets talk about Woody's Burgers on Lakeshore Blvd West. They opened their doors back in 2009, notably before the boon of classic American style cheeseburgers in Toronto popularized by Burger's Priest (or smash burgers like Rudy). As such, Woody's gives off a particularly old school, rustic charm despite it not being old enough to drink yet. For a time they also operated a second location on Jane Street near Annette, which closed its doors some time ago (it's a My Roti Place now). As such, their original spot near Long Branch station is the one I visited to finally try them. This was long overdue.
(this photo does a fine job illustrating the interior vibe of Woody's. Like a truck stop meets diner... so many plaid shirts...)
Long Branch itself is a rather odd (actual) corner of Toronto. A sort of no man's land interchange between the most southwestern chunk of Toronto and neighbour city Mississauga. It's pretty darn weird seeing a MiWay bus zip alongside the 501 Queen streetcar, lemme tell ya... like an episode of a television show featuring characters from a totally different show (a crossover if you prefer). Long Branch is indeed the crossover of Toronto, and much like that kind of episode there's something familiar yet strange about the whole thing.
Not particularly strange is the menu at Woody's Burgers. The options are plentiful, yes, but these creations have a certain culinary logic to them. There isn't anything completely insane for the sake of being completely insane (this isn't the now long departed Yellow Griffin Pub or anything)
Going in I knew I was getting a burger (I mean duh) but deciding which particular one took me far longer than I care to admit. You see, aside from your classic standard cheese or banquet types, Woody's also offer a healthily diverse assortment of specialty burgers. Creations featuring brie, smoked brisket, smoked gouda, fried egg, smoked bacon, pulled pork, smoked ketchup (they seem to like smoking stuff) and a few where the grilled burger patty is stuffed with cheese.
They all sounded quite good. If not for the fact my plan was to also get a side of 'frings' (fries with onion rings) I might've selected the "Austin" burger, with brisket, slaw, garlic mayo and an onion ring. Damn, it's making me hungry again just typing all that.
Onion rings are one of the items I have a rather tough time reviewing. I'm not an expert, I don't eat them often and they all almost always taste the same to me no matter where I go.
These ones? Definitely oily (shocker), oniony (shocker again), not a heavy batter and the crunch was quite fresh. The taste and smell lacked any of that type of weird bitter taste you get at certain places re-using old frying oil. As pure and clean a flavour as a deep fried onion ring can be, quite appealing to the eye as well.
So appealing in fact, some hefty random sketchy/crazy young-ish dude fella approached me midway through eating this (I was sitting outside on Woody's corner patio) and asked if I was taking all my away. Seriously, it wasn't like I'd been staring at increasingly cold leftovers either... I was mid-meal, mid-bite and chewing! With a shrug I said I didn't know, not exactly feeling charitable with any calculations of my hunger towards somebody interrupting me while eating.
Alas this did not discourage my new "pal" from uncomfortably eyeing me and my food, so I gave him the very smallest of my onion rings in the hopes it would get him to buzz off already and let me eat in peace (it did). There's a heads up for you all: if in Long Branch, be alert for Onion Ring Hustlers.
Back to the food and everything's upside down! My unpaid intern photographer screws up again! (damn me... er, him!)
For whatever reason these fries reminded me of the type of fries you might get at a fish and chip spot. A sea salt taste (among other light seasonings, paprika?), a specific shape of crispiness to most of these fries, the skin still very much on... there might've even been the slightest hint of malt vinegar in here as well (maybe in the oil?). There was this faint flavour and smell to them that I just couldn't completely pin... familiar but not obvious.
Whatever it may be, it's good! Not to grade everything (I only do that with pizzas for the record) but if I did these are what I'd call B-level fries. The potato taste is great, they're fluffy, the crispy bits are delicious, entirely fine even once cold. No complaints whatsoever! Simple and tasty.
Burger time. The one I ordered was the "Alpine" (also ordered by the person right after me) consisting of swiss cheese, smoked bacon (again with the smoking) seed mustard, plus sauteed mushrooms and onion.
I'm pretty sure A&W have offered a version of this type of burger as like a temporary special... the combination of these flavours on a burger definitely registered in the ol' West Collier Computer. I do like A&W quite a bit but fortunately (for Woody's) this burger here is considerably better than that.
Normally I'm not a Swiss cheese fan but it really works here as a way to let the beef of the burger and the mushrooms especially breathe a bit more, rather than be smothered by the distinct sharpness of cheddar. Said beef tastes.. um... quite beefy (Pulitzer, please) with a firm spongier texture akin to what TastyBurgers.ca calls a "meatloaf" burger. It's well cooked but not dry in any way, there's a solid tenderness that is uniformly consistent on each bite.
As a burger itself I'd say this is entirely fine (if unexciting)... whereas the real magic are these toppings. The smokiness of the bacon is rather subtle but entirely present throughout the burger. The sauteed onions and mushrooms do magic together (I found they became more prominent on the later bites, probably the reason I found myself liking this more and more the deeper I got into it).
The quiet zing of the seed mustard, just the right amount to let you know it's there from time to time, is an inspired finishing touch as well... as are the buttery toasted edges along the brioche bun (very reminiscent of Ace Bakery here).
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Overall! Supposedly Woody's grill their burgers over an open wood fire, giving it a particular smokey flavour that I can say lingers through their beef and bacon. Much like all of the other flavours I described, this smokiness is present but not overwhelming. It's indeed subtle, giving Woody's a bizarre distinction of not being like most other burger places yet not having any obvious element that makes them unmistakable. Much like the area it resides in, they occupy a space outside of the spectrum that is difficult to even define.
Nevertheless, I thought this burger was terrific and do recommend checking them out should you get the chance. It's not mind-melting quality-wise, but it is strong and you can tell this is made with skill and care.
After a hearty sampling of trendy smash burgers (some blurring the lines where beef ends and onion begins) trying out something like this, something straight-forward and back to basics, was a refreshing change of pace. Just don't get hustled for your onion rings if you sit on the patio.
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Anyone's Game
Not only will the Larry O'Brien (or "Larry OB") trophy go to a seventh different champion in seven years, but of the four remaining teams (Indiana Pacers, New York Knicks, Minnesota Timberwolves and Oklahoma City Thunder) only the Knicks have ever won a championship and that was half a century ago! (and yes, it was still more recently than the Leafs).
While the Thunder, the best team of the regular season fueled by a historically exceptional defense, still have to be considered the favourites I'd think... for the first time I can remember it honestly wouldn't be an enormous surprise for any of these remaining four teams to pull it off.
So why not quickly preview these two semi-finals and make some predictions! Seems a totally fitting thing to do for this food article, right.
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The East Finals see the Knicks and Pacers in a rematch of last year's second round bout, with Indiana outlasting a battered and gassed New York squad last spring. The Pacers are running back essentially the same core squad as last year while the Knicks made dual offseason headlines by getting Mykal Bridges (for like a zillion draft picks) and Karl-Anthony Towns in separate deals. This flipped New York from a strong defensive team into an elite offensive one (with a mediocre defense).
I'm confident this series will be another slugfest but... I think I'm leaning towards the Pacers here. They're deeper and just more dynamic than the Knicks, who don't have much beyond that killer starting five and the streaky Deuce McBride off the bench. It's real tough to bet against Jalen Brunson (certified Dude) in a close game but Indiana themselves have one of those fearless guys too in Tyrese Haliburton. They're not afraid of anybody. New York will definitely need those great two-way wings in Bridges and old Raptor friend OG Anunoby to have some hot shooting games in order to win this thing... man it's gonna be so weird seeing OG guard Pascal Siakam. So, so weird.
Pacers in 7.
Over in the west, Minnesota returns to the NBA final four in consecutive years for the first time ever. In fact the franchise has never even appeared in an NBA Finals, nevermind won one. The young Oklahoma City Thunder (yes, the best team in the league is also the youngest) showed a lot of their youth in the Denver series, becoming tentative, lost and starry eyed in certain moments (particularly their blown lead in the first game against the Nuggets).
Still, that defense is legitimately explosive... long, quick and swarming... not yielding any space to breathe on the court. We'll see if it can slow down the Wolves' superstar Anthony ("Ant") Edwards, who seems to be made of different stuff in these types of games. Minnesota is not to be taken lightly, as secondary scorers and creators like Julius Randle, Naz Reid, Donte DiVencenzo and Jaden McDaniels are entirely capable of stealing a game for you. Considering the defensive impact both McDaniels and Rudy Gobert bring (all-world defenders they be), I can foresee long stretches where the Thunder struggle to get anything going on the offensive end.
Nevertheless, the Thunder are just too good. This should also be a good close series but OKC's absurd amount of depth combined with their young star trifecta makes me think they'll take this one. More has to go right for Minnesota (Randle continuing to be an effective and efficient second option most crucially) than has to for the Thunder. It's entirely possible that the inexperience of the moment, now the biggest yet for this youthful OKC squad, undoes them in some substantial way... these same Wolves have already been this far before, don't forget. Although... the Thunder did not show any of those nerves in their convincing wrecking crew job against Denver (a recent champion) in that Game 7 on Sunday. Regardless, should be a fascinating series to watch. Ant versus Shai. And a battle of cousins! (Shai versus Nickiel Alexander-Walker).
Thunder in 6.
Tuesday Tune
This song randomly gets stuck in my head sometimes, which is fine because it's sweet, lovely and wonderful. Also feels sadly fitting for the emotional state of many Toronto sports fans after Sunday.
That's all for another week! Next time is the big 125th episode... it's gonna be a big hoot lemme tell ya. Stay tuned and until then... stay safe, stay cool and most of all... don't spill that mustard.
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