Riding The Eglinton LRT (Line 5) For The First Time

 

For basically my entire adult life (and possibly a bit beforehand) any mention of the infamous "Line 5" Eglinton LRT has been made in exasperated ridicule. This was a transit project notorious for the massive disruption to local businesses along Eglinton during its construction, a negative effect made all the more worse via the project's most distinguishing attribute: the eternal delays in finally completing the damn thing. 

I'll spare you any ranting about why/how Metrolinx sucks (tempting as it is) but consider that the Eglinton LRT line was first greenlit in 2007 under then mayor David Miller (back in those carefree wonderful days before a plague of Fords descended upon Ontario)... with actual shovels-in-dirt construction beginning in 2011. 2011! Just think about that place and time for a moment. Taylor Swift was still primarily a country artist, the Toronto Blue Jays were wearing black and silver jerseys for some reason, Kyle Lowry wasn't even a Raptor yet (and the Raptors franchise was one of the biggest inept jokes in the entire NBA), an "Instagram" was gibberish to the vast majority of people while "Tik Tok" was just an annoying Ke$ha song... not to mention the countless actors, musicians and public figures that had much different reputations at the time (Bill Cosby still being a much beloved elder statesman of comedy, Kanye West a widely compelling artist or Kevin Spacey a much-sought revered actor, for example).  

Much of Mayor Miller's transit plans were scrapped after he left office (that plague of Fords I mentioned) but the Eglinton LRT managed to survive the red-faced blundering axe and was expected to be completed and operational by 2020. Yeah... obviously that didn't happen. Whether it was Metrolinx underestimating the logistical difficulty of constructing the project, the rapidly inflating costs to build the thing, the political head-butting for all those involved (the city, the province, the TTC and Metrolinx), a barrage of lawsuits and/or just general incompetence... the Eglinton line became a running punchline shared by all Torontonians. Just as surely as the Maple Leafs will choke in the playoffs, Line 5 will never be ready to open. Heck, earlier this year when I was reading announcements that the route was actually about to open honest to goodness for real... I legitimately didn't actually believe it! I'd just become so accustomed to this thing being a disaster, it was comfortable to envision some new calamity coming along to delay it yet again for another year or three.

Yet, no! On February 8th of this year 2026... Line 5 opened to the public and has been operating without extended disruption ever since. Being curious (and bored) I thought I'd take one cloudy afternoon to personally test this shiny new transit toy out and ride it straight from one end to the other. And take a zillion photos along the way, of course. Buckle up! Or don't, seeing as TTC trains don't actually have seatbelts... um... grab that metal loop grip thing! Yeah!

Starting at Kennedy station (I'm an east-ender after all) and I was pleased to see a train already waiting in the station. This was fairly late in the afternoon on a Friday, on the verge of the end-of-workweek rush hour... though the boarding crowd here at Kennedy was rather sparse/non-existent as you can see.

        

The inside of the train itself isn't quite as spacious as a TTC subway car but definitely gives off more room to breathe than your typical bus. Not to mention this thing is still so gosh darn new, there hasn't yet been time for the classic public transit stew of various unfortunate odours, scratches and stains to attach themselves onboard. 

After about five minutes idling in the station, the train closed its doors and lurched forward to life, beginning the journey eastbound. 

 

The route immediately goes above ground and its some slow going at first. There are a lot of major traffic light intersections on Eglinton throughout this stretch (especially once you get to Golden Mile between Warden and Victoria Park) and so there were a few long periods of sitting for red lights to turn green as cars finish turning. I had a feeling though, knowing what Eglinton changes into west of Victoria Park, that the travel speed would pick up once we got past Golden Mile. 

  

And I was right! The next few stops are much more stretched out than the eastern beginning of the line. Scenery-wise the open space (you're descending into a huge valley) is a nice break from the endless stretch of mini malls and big box store plazas between Warden and Victoria Park. Naturally, I picked a heavily overcast, blank grey day to do this little trip... 

Anyhow, this really is where the route picks up its efficiency, feeling much more like an offshoot of the subway line and less like a surface streetcar tethered to the chaotic whims of traffic.

 

It's around this point we reach the first (westward) underground station, Don Valley. I have to say that so far the aesthetic of these full-on stations on Line 5 are not exactly impressing me with their style. In fact I'm certain Kennedy and Don Valley are using the exact same colour scheme. No matter, I'm sure there will something design-wise to shake up the monotony as we get further, right? 

  

After Don Valley we re-emerge outdoors for a brief moment through the Sunnybrook Park stop, an area that always reminds me of a now-departed buddy I used to practice baseball with. Miss those days... 

There still isn't much on Eglinton here that's particularly notable: lots of open space, high rises and nasty hills if you're travelling on two wheels. Not long after this stop the train descends again underground and...

...ah nice, they swapped the generic red tiling for plain old grey concrete. Such inspired vision. 

And this one has letters in the design! Oh my...

Yep. Another underground station, looking 99.9 percent identical to the other ones...

...sheesh even the major junction that connects to the Yonge/University line doesn't have anything remotely distinguishing about it. 

Yep. It's just like the Leaside one. 

And this is just like the Laird one. 

Oh my goodness! A 'wet floor' sign! This is one station that's really breaking out of the mould here.

I know it probably seems like I'm making a big deal out of something extremely unimportant (which I am) but it is just crazy how unbelievably similar all these stations are. It's like they had four different colour templates, which were already the exact same design, and decided to randomly alternate them. 

Practical I suppose... I mean this entire transit line was an overdue mess that went insanely over budget as is... but it sure leaves the route itself with very little in the way of personality. You think of the Bloor line or especially Yonge/University... you can pretty much tell exactly which station you're at by the colour scheme of the platform (and a lot of those stations are legitimately beautiful to look at). 

 

Here? They're all the exact same bland, generic underground cavern that completely blend together in anyone's recollection. Hell, taking these pictures I tried to alternate the angles I was taking them just to make these just a tiny bit different. Maybe in the future the TTC will make some kind of effort to spruce up the atmosphere of these stations (at least some kind of little touch to differentiate them from each other... seriously) but at the moment... it doesn't get much more monotonous than this. 

 

Thankfully near the western end of the line we're released from the endless run of identically boring underground stops and emerge outside again... rolling through the Weston neighbourhood towards the Mount Dennis terminus. 

Also quite handy that this final station easily connects with the Brampton GO line and the UP Express, if that's your type of thing. 

---

I suppose my final thoughts on first riding this much anticipated transit line would be thus: the biggest surprise was how much of it is completely underground and thus feels very much like a miniaturized subway ride. Almost the entire route west of Yonge (and about a third of it east) is a journey through a tunnel, which makes the ride far less scenic than I'd imagined it would be. Adding to that lack of scenery, as I mentioned/ranted about earlier, is how ridiculously identical (dull) all of those underground stops are. Better pay close attention for your stop because Mount Pleasant and Oakwood come from the exact same cookie cutter. 

Those aesthetic negatives aside, Line 5 is actually a very smooth crosstown trip that really covers some distance once it gets going. Going end to end (Kennedy to Mount Dennis) took me just under an hour, which isn't bad at all when you consider a Bloor subway trip from Kennedy to Runnymede-ish (the rough southern equivalent of where Mount Dennis would be on Bloor) probably comes in only ten or so minutes less than that. Not bad at all. 

The Eglinton line is actually not even yet totally complete, as there are plans to further extend it westbound from Mount Dennis towards Centennial Park/Pearson Airport (Renforth to be exact) by 2031. Not sure I'd be making any wagers on that being completed in half a decade (fool us all once) but in the meantime, Line 5 does seem to at least (and at last) be an excellent option for getting across the upper core of Toronto. It may have taken almost twenty goddamn years... but holy moly is it an upgrade over the downright awful experience that were the Eglinton buses. If you like cramped trips that bounce and shake over extremely bumpy roads and take forever... boy did we have something for you! Yeah, don't think anybody is crying any tears over those retirements. 

  

This Week In Pizza: Pizza Olive

 

This name just pokes so many questions upon my mind. Pizza... Olive. So.... is it an olive that's specifically related or flavoured like pizza? I'm no fan of olives but I actually might be into that. Or... is "Olive" used as a name here, like Olive Oil from Popeye? "Pizza Olive" is some kind of quirky character who is just really into pizzas, thus why she has the nickname? Again, I'd probably be into that... anybody reading this know her number? 

Whatever the reason for the odd name, Pizza Olive opened up sometime just over a year ago in the Village By The Grange food court right near St. Patrick subway station... a food court I can't say I'd ever visited prior to this review. 

While yet again I can't find much of anything in regards to backstory about this place, I can yet again take one of my trademark wild stabs and say/guess that the owner(s) are Iranian or have some kind of familial connection to Iran... as their Instagram has a couple of posts in support of the freedom demonstrations there*. An accurate deduction or no, this is not a pizzeria attempting to put a Persian spin on pizza... as they proudly state their intentions toward "Authentic Italian Pizza and Pasta" while using dough fermented for 72 hours beforehand. 

(*it would indeed seem a lot has happened in Iran since I wrote the first draft of this article, huh)

I happened to be in the area checking out the soon-to-be-shuttered Steve's Music (picked clean of anything resembling a clearance deal, sadly) and figured trying an unknown pizza place would be some form of minor accomplishment at least. Wandering inside the Park on the Grange, it quickly struck me how much its modest confines reminded me of the little food courts within the downtown St. George UofT campus back in my (long lost) university days. "Hmmmmm" I said aloud, mulling over this observation before then remembering OCAD exists and is still directly across the street from here (it certainly explained all the students everywhere). I am brilliant, I swear. 

We are talking about what is essentially a mall food court pizza here... and so this might not be the most diverse menu one has ever encountered. Still though, there are numerous options both for pizza and beyond (sandwiches and pasta), quite ambitious for a limited kitchen space. While their meatball pie was quite tempting... the notion of axing/picking off the red onions and olives was not so tempting, despite the obvious topping namesake. Instead, I went with their standard pepperoni with the addition of jalapeños for some extra zing. 

It should also be noted that I ordered one of their small (10 inch) pies instead of the larger size which this takeout box was intended for, thus explaining the comical amount of empty space there (the fella apologized that they didn't have any smaller boxes). 

From this better angle, you can see that this is one poofy pizza. Like one of those circular backyard swimming pools (Milpool?). Heck, this almost looks like a Chicago deep dish and there is quite a bit of cheese in the centre. 

A good sign is how gooey and stretchy this mozzarella is: there's some serious pull to it and it tastes quite authentic (none of that dry, plastic-like texture you get from the cheap stuff). In a weird way the considerable amount of cheese actually balances out the more-than-considerable amount of crust here, as this dough is rather light and airy tasting despite its inflated size. Even better, it really has a full-mouthed fresh feel on each bite, suggesting this indeed is some pizza dough they've lovingly taken their time with. 

The flavours overall aren't going to rock anyone's world... but they are solid for what they are. The tomato sauce has a strong hint of garlic powder to it (though much of it bleeds into the cheese), the jalapeños on here have some juice to them and so do bring a notable sting... and the pepperoni is just your standard 'good quality' sliced cured fare, hitting the right point of greasy saltiness without too much of either. 

The crust also has a bit of cornmeal grit to it, similar to Domino's... in fact many attributes of this pizza do remind me of that particular chain. Except: this isn't overcooked, there's more cheese and it's better cheese, the tomato sauce actually has more flavour than a squeeze bottle, the crust isn't stale and I definitely didn't want to just throw this out once it got cold. So..... yeah! Definitely quite a few levels up from Domino's... like one of those skyscrapers where you'd have to change elevators when traveling between the floors. 

---

  

Overall... this is a very simple style of pizza. Big crust, big cheese... go to town. And it is a tasty one. It made me wonder if Food Court Pizza is actually a style and if so, this is definitely the best one of those I've encountered so far. There's an undercurrent of freshness to that dough that really sells everything else, even though the flavours are fairly basic. 

A small pizza from Pizza Olive serves as a large snack (or a modest meal if you're somebody with a regular human appetite) and while I'd say this is one that is quite a bit short of being a pizza you 'absolutely have to head out and try'... it is one I think won't let you down if you happen to be in the area, whether it be for the AGO or OCAD or you're killing time after an LRT ride before checking out MGMT at SBA (somebody please pay me by the abbreviation, I could keep going). Pizza Olive gets a solid "B" grade from me, good enough for the back end of a top 100 in all of Toronto I'd figure.  

 

This Week In Pizza: Nice Slice

 

 

You know, I've been a bit of a reclusive sadsack lately... surely it was time I break through my wall of miserable self-isolation and go try a new pizza place with a name that reminds me of this song:

 

(very glad I didn't choose a live version from the 80s... that amount of Mike Love would be very not nice)

 

Nice Slice opened up last summer on the still sneakily cool stretch of Harbord Street between Spadina and Bathurst... a subdued yet happening run of road akin to the most vibrant couple blocks of a charming small town (having not a high rise in sight helps a lot). This area has indeed featured some of Toronto's best known bakeries and restaurants of the past and present such as Harbord Room, Piano Piano, Rasa, Harbord House, Harbord Fish and Chips and of course Harbord Bakery. Sensing a bit of a pattern here... I figure if a carpentry shop ever opened up along here it would be called Harbord Harboards. Yes that dumb joke took far too long to think of (if it even reaches the qualification as a "joke") 

The backstory is not a typical one: owner Nick White initially had plans to be a lawyer but upon graduating law school realized it really wasn't for him. He took a job at Mac's Pizza just to pay the bills and quickly became enamored with the vibe/energy of the area and the pizzeria itself. Wanting to replicate that community atmosphere from Dovercourt/Bloor into Harbord Village, Nice Slice was soon born... taking over the corner location on Borden and Harbord from departed gourmet shop Chabichou. It also must be mentioned: opening a pizza slice parlour across the street from an enormous high school... a tip of the hat to that particularly astute tactical choice. 

 

 

It was a sunny though chilly Thursday afternoon when my longtime friend and occasional pizza trying companion and I made our way up to Harbord Village for some Nice Slice(s). The inside of the pizzeria was not quite what I expected: perhaps in my imagination I'd pictured a small no frills mostly-takeout joint with very limited seating... instead a rather retro chic (1970's remarked my dear friend) wraparound space greeted with a layout similar to an old diner or cafe. Far more visually welcoming and comfortable than I could've expected... the kind of place you can just sit and chat with a friend for hours even once the pizza slices are long finished (which is basically what happened, helps when the playlist is also very on point for some 1990s/2000s nostalgia).

   

Getting into the pizza of it all, we both ordered two slices and this is my duo: their simple pepperoni slice and a vodka sauce sausage + rapini offering. My esteemed companion went for the "Zaatar" slice (as well as a pepperoni) which was easily the most interesting and unusual creation on the modesty sized Nice Slice menu. 

What the heck is Zaatar? Glad you asked! (I know I did). Well... it's essentially a blend of herbs quite popular in Middle Eastern cuisine, with the exact composition varying from culture to culture. On this particular pizza slice (which I probably should've taken a picture of) the zaatar is made into a sauce and spread abundantly atop the slice, along with some ricotta cheese and olives (blech). Taking a bite of it... the zaatar sauce indeed is a distinctive and uniquely earthy flavour to find on a pizza... though perhaps not quite my thing (especially with salty black olive bits everywhere).

        

Instead, I kept things simple (unadventurous) with Nice Slice's version of a classic pepperoni slice.  

Right off the top, one of the best attributes to this pizza that was consistent on every slice we sampled: marvelous texture. There's some solid density to the dough, resulting in a friendly chew to it (especially in the crust)... with plenty of crispiness along the edges and soft pockets throughout. You've got some good pepperoni on here too: not aggressively greasy, good crispy edges and some peppery kick to it as well. The balance of cheese, dough and pepperoni is also perfectly done.

This is one of those slices where the mozzarella cheese and tomato sauce have sort of melted/blended together to the point wherein it's difficult to separate either one to judge individually. I can tell this is a fairly middle-of-the-road/balanced kind of tomato sauce, not leaning too much into either acidity or sweetness. Good stuff, even if it's a bit of a background presence on here (still way better than so many desert dry pizzas I've tried where you barely notice any sauce at all).

Since it's also in the picture, seems a good moment to talk about the dip. It's their creamy garlic (shock) and I must say it is a compelling one. There's an inherent lightness to the flavour and body of it that you just don't find with many kinds of mayo-based sauces (as much as I enjoy those I cannot deny their heaviness). While this results in a much less sharp and garlicky dip, its gloopy creaminess still pairs well with these soft yet firm crusts. I do tend to prefer dips that are as obscenely garlicky as possible, but that's definitely "a me thing" and I'm a certified lunatic on these types of matters.

 

Onto my second slice, the sausage and rapini option (with a vodka sauce instead of tomato). I was pleased to see sizeable hunks of rapini on here, in all it's slimy bitter green glory... while the sausage crumble is a bit less present (the crumbles are small) but still spread throughout every corner of the slice. By nature it's definitely a much drier slice than the pepperoni one (with more bubbles) but again that excellent texture of the dough really helps keep it from ever getting too chewy or stale. 

The flavour of this one really reminds me more of a pasta dish than a pizza... a very tasty pasta dish at that. That combination of wet rapini, the zing of a vodka sauce and the bits of sausage really made me think there should be a side of garlic bread closeby. I mean, I usually think that in any situation... but my point stands.

It's an excellent combination of flavour, pasta or pizza. I quite liked that the vodka sauce also had a chilli pepper-esque heat to it... beginning as a subtle sting that would really grow and sneak up on you. I'd say it leans more on the tomatoey side than the creamy side as a vodka sauce, and it's spread more like another topping rather than as a foundation of the pie. That said, it's a very pleasant sauce on the bites you really get a good amount of it and that little bit of heat really gives it some extra punch and life. 

---

 

Overall! We've got a definite winner here. Great atmosphere combined with great pizza... I mean heck I almost forgot to mention the very nice touch of the thin freshly grated parm on each slice, acting almost like a pizza garnish. 

I'm a tough critic (ie a jerk) and Nice Slice fell a tiny bit short of completely blowing me away. There wasn't quite a full "WOW" at any point in time, which I find all of the truly elite pizzas do possess in some form. That said, this has to be about as close as you can get to that level without quite getting there, which is why I'm happily sending Nice Slice a strong recommendation. Try them! They are absolutely worth a visit on some reasonably warm afternoon or early evening (they do close at 9) good for both a single solitary slice or splitting a whole pie with some pals. 

The experience and pizza itself is memorable despite not being super distinctive from a few other places I've tried. This was like a better version of Mac's Pizza but a slightly lesser one if compared to Gram's (which I absolutely loved). I liked Nice Slice a heck of a lot, would gladly go back, resulting in a robust "B++" grade from me, just an eyelash short of the A level and probably landing somewhere in my Top 35/40 in all of Toronto.  

  

No Reflection

 

I haven't written anything like this in a while. If you go dig deep into the adolescent early days of West Collier Street (before it became this current haven of odd food reviews) you'll probably see some unpleasant, dark stuff. I've gone through some shit in my life and the written word has frequently been my creative outlet of choice to deal with said shit. But it's been a while since the vibe of sad twisted hopelessness has come on full force here... maybe I thought I'd finally outgrown this type of thing (ha good one). 

Man. Where to begin. Last February I almost died! Yeah that seems a good place to start this. I won't get into too many of the details (especially since I don't remember most of them) but all you need to know is I was desperately unhappy at the time with the state of the world and myself, took my favourite liquid juniper vice much too far, there was a massive public scene I have no recollection of and, upon leaving a hospital the next morning with my hand throbbing in pain from an IV removal... realized I'd reached a pretty serious inflection point.    

And well, credit to me because I did take it seriously and make some lifestyle adjustments. Taking on the challenge head on and not allowing something like that to take complete control of my life. Problem was... 2025 turned out was not the kind of year to reward such things. That first dry week while I was still trying to process and overcome the shame of what had happened that hazy night... a crippling emotional blow out of nowhere. A betrayal by someone(s) I had trusted, considered solid friends... at the absolute worst possible time no less. Out of humiliation I hadn't even been outside for a week, recovering from perhaps my lowest ever point when this news blindsided me. My summer sanctuary, the thought of which that had always gotten me through the cruelest winters... was all of a sudden now going to be very, very awkward. At best.

Weeks passed and once I'd mostly stopped reeling from all this, I just decided "fuck it and fuck them" I'll just prioritize working as much as I can all summer over anything else, which I'd never really done before. I'd always booked off all or most of my Saturdays in the summer. Not any more. Plus doing a whole sober summer thing... I'd save a ton of money too I figured. 

And I did. Enough to plan a trip to Europe for the first time... this was it, right? The happy culmination of overcoming a personal demon, weathering the douchey behavior of former pals and legitimately showing up for every shift I was scheduled for between three separate gigs. Yeah... about that. Look, most of the Europe trip was damn lonely but also a lot of fun... not for a millisecond do I regret any of it. 

Thing was, during this time I can see now that another friendship, a much older and closer one I cherished considerably more, was clearly beginning to fracture. The whole second half of my trip I'd become fed up with my friend's self-absorbed heady shit (and this is coming from me, pot kettle black etc) and just stopped messaging him at all until I got back (keep in mind we'd been friends for almost twenty years and chatted almost daily). 

I got back from Europe, the Blue Jays lost the World Series, we started arguing online again about the most pointless "going around in circles about unaccepted apologizes versus emotional boundaries" fucking bullshit... until finally he just suddenly decided to end the friendship via Messenger essay. Blocked my number and everything so, couldn't even offer to last ditch try and fix this in person. Nah.... what's a two decade friendship worth these days anyhow. Certainly it's no match for the stupidest fucking argument in the history of stupid fucking arguments.

To bring this all to some actual point... yeah all this crap has left me feeling completely empty and I'm convinced these holes in my spirit aren't going to completely mend. The sensation of genuine inspiration and motivation compared with doing something just for the sake of doing it, without any real desire or excitement. It's hard to find that internal drive or even feel like giving a shit. Because why?

For instance this time of year, that usual restless anticipation I get when a new baseball season is around the corner... frankly it's not there anymore either. It's weird to feel so unenthusiastic about playing ball in a few months as like I said, there were a lot of winters it was the guiding light at the end of that cold hearted tunnel. Now I feel fueled only by anger and frustration... like I have to go prove these assholes people wrong otherwise I'm just going to be even more miserable. Not to mention I have this dumb thing with my wrist that refuses to totally heal... if I can even get to the point of swinging a bat again without horrible pain, this is more than likely going to be my last summer playing baseball. I'm not sure I feel a whole lot of joy playing the game anymore... which yeah, does really break my heart to say it. 

What's the big fucking problem though? This is actually a winter I have no looming dread or worry about how I'm going to pay rent or find a new job (though barely getting shifts so far in 2026 has really not helped my headspace, idle hands and what not). Everything I'm moaning about is so trivial, right? Boo hoo, people get backstabbed and have dramatic falling out with best friends all the time. Get over it. Fine. I'll set aside my internal unhappiness and look more externally. 

*Clears throat* Have you seen what's happening in the fucking world right now? The worst and most evil people, many of whom happen also to be the fucking stupidest, doing almost whatever they want with impunity and without consequence? This is a fucking mess, people. If civilization as we know it survives another fifty years they're going to look back at us and say "What in holy fucking hell were these dipshits thinking?" 

So..... yeah. I'm perhaps not the most pleasant person to be around at the moment. I've blown off nearly all of the few social invites from the friends I still have (sorry) including a performance at an open mic that probably would've helped this, um, helpless feeling I'm far too accustomed to. 2026 so far has just been a lot of seething anger. Anger at people/former friends I trusted turning their backs/giving up on me in shitty or cowardly ways, anger at this absurd world patriotically proud of its ignorance and anger at myself for letting all this happen to me... even if most of it might not be my fault. Though it probably is... you get rejected enough times eventually you can't help but look inside yourself for something, anything to explain it. Not to mention becoming cold, unwilling or unable to fully trust anybody anymore. Or maybe in my adult life I've just had a lot of really fucking shitty male friends... who the hell knows. 

I understand that just because you get yourself and your life on track doesn't automatically mean everything in said life is going to be fields of flowers and summer romance.... but I sure as fucking hell didn't think a year later that this more isolated sober misery could be so much worse. The lesson is.... well there's no real lesson, is there. Sometimes everything just fucking sucks, doesn't it. 

 

 

 

 

If you somehow are still with me here after all that, I'll have some proper pizza reviews up soon. Honest. Clearly I just needed to get this somewhat off my chest before it completely suffocated me.  

   

               

The Tuesday Taste - Riverside Burgers

 

In a while will the smile on my face

turn to plaster?

Stick around while the clown who is sick

does the trick of disaster

For the race of my head and my face

is moving much faster

Is it strange I should change I don't know

Why don't you ask her?

 

 

Another Tuesday... another Taste. Another burger joint with a name that immediately reminds me of a song: 

 

 

Hey, I like that one a hell of a lot more than "Happy" by Pharell. But will this Riverside burger (coincidentally across the street) likewise be better or at least as good? We're about to find out. 

Much like Alpha's Shawarma last week (which feels like three months ago) backstory information on Riverside Burgers is not abundant on them interwebs... so it's back to Sherlock Holmes-like deduction! (forget this food reviewing thing I'm just gonna write mystery fiction instead). We know for sure that Riverside Burgers began its existence at Queen and Broadview in late 2019, replacing another longtime neighbourhood burger spot called 'Burger Shoppe' which was part of the now defunct BQM chain (I'm also pretty sure I briefly worked with one of the founders of Burger Shoppe when I was a teenager and he left the Drake Hotel to get into the burger game). 

Thing is, in 2019 when BQM Burger Shoppe turned into 'Riverside Burgers' they pretty much kept the same sign design, only adjusting the font and the actual name. At the time I recall noticing the change and just assumed it was a rebranding rather than a totally new and different thing. Adding more to the eyebrow raising is when you compare their menus: both places feature(d) an item called the "Riverside Burger" with the exact same toppings... not to mention the old "BQM Burger" is identical to Riverside's "Broadview Burger". Hmmm! 

None of this really matters since like I said, BQM closed it's last official location over half a decade ago... I'm just saying there's most likely some kind of lingering affiliation/inspiration going on here.        

But there's more! Riverside Burgers' website lists a second location on King Street West near Dufferin... a location I can find no evidence actually exists (I mean I could call the number on the website but... well I hate calling people). Google Maps has this King West address currently listed as a momo restaurant and the photos I can find appear to back up that reality. I did stumble upon a stray photo from 2024 of a gray building in a state of renovation with a "Riverside Burgers" sign out front... and that's all I got. See? It's a great beginning for a fictional mystery tale... "The Problem of the Phantom Patty"...   

 

 

Back to things that definitely exist (as in, not my mystery writer career) I remember BQM making some pretty tasty burgers, so if Riverside Burgers is on a similar level then this should be good! Walking in, Riverside Burgers is a very tight squeeze should there be more than one other patron inside with you. Truly they've optimized the amount of seating the best they can with the small red tables and chairs, plus the narrow counter by the front windows. 

 

To my pleasant surprise they offer some impressively affordable walk-in burger combos on the sandwich board out front. Alas... I felt it made the most sense to try their namesake burger with a side of small fries, considerable savings be damned. The things I do for this gig... 

The smell of beef and bacon on a sizzling griddle wafted through the chilled air (unavoidable since when the place is that small you're by default sitting next to the front door). After a decent wait (they were steadily busy this particular Monday evening with walk-in orders and the usual delivery fetchers) my meal arrived. 

 

 

 

Starting with the french fries as we always do... these very much have your "skins on" type of grittier texture and flavour. Some good crispiness all the way through and nice fluffiness within, solid. I would say however that they're a bit too salty. Not anything close to a lethal dose or anything but it is consistency noticeable on every fry. Also on the oilier side. Still totally fine as fries I'd say. Nothing amazing just quite solid and with real potato flavour well above any frozen/fast food chain option.

 

 
Onto the namesake, the Riverside Burger. Beef patty, cheese (menu says mozzarella but that's clearly cheddar) bacon, shredded lettuce, one onion ring, BBQ sauce and a garlic aioli. 

On first glance you can see the balance of things is quite askew here, as that's a lot of onion ring-plus-bun occupying the real estate. However this is not a smash burger (hooray a reprieve!) and so the beef patty is a bit thicker (5.5 oz according to the menu) than a single smash would be. 

 

 

There's a lot to like about this burger without there being much to truly love. The beef itself is very tender though not all that juicy, giving it more of a chew. Fortunately the flavour of said beef is quite on point with distinct beefy grill taste and a peculiar lightness in spite of a notable fatty element (probably speaking to the strong quality of the meat itself). 

Considering this isn't a very sauce-heavy burger either (I forgot there was even supposed to be BBQ on here until starting to write this) and the enormous onion ring... this thing could've been a crumbly dry slog. It isn't, thanks to the melted cheese existing primarily to soften the texture and a deceptive amount of the shredded lettuce (it must've been hiding in the center hole of the onion ring). 

The garlic aioli is... well it has the similar off/sour zing of a McDonald's Big Mac Sauce and little actual garlicky punch. It's fine I suppose but not my preferred style of creamy garlic sauce. You get a lot of that onion ring also and it brings a really good hollow crunch with sweetness within, yet nothing all that noticeable in the batter itself or any kind of seasoning. Very average as an onion ring, so it's also fine. Same with the brioche bun: nice and soft, definitely fresh... but no hint of any buttery undercurrent to really bring it up a notch. 

All of this is very 'just above average' for a more refined type of fast food burger except for the bacon, which they nail perfectly. Tender, greasy, very "bacony" (really the best term to describe it) with the right balance of fatty chew and crispiness. Plus, unlike many other bacon cheeseburgers... you can taste the bacon on every single bite. If their bacon is consistently like that, they could fill the Queen Street East void left by the now long deceased Rashers and also feature bacon sandwiches on their menu if they wanted.  

 

 

Overall! These are always the toughest ones whether to recommend or not. It's a good burger, even very good in a few ways... but not truly great. The best aspects of it by far are the meats: excellent bacon and a terrific beef patty that I wish there was a little more of (and remember I'm the guy who usually doesn't go for double burgers). 

It's too good to be forgettable but not good enough that I think I'll be craving it again in the future. This isn't one where hours later I found it's memory slowly growing on me either. If this were a pizza I'd be stamping the "B" grade on it with extra ink.           

Hmmmm. Well... they're open late (a rarity on Queen East) and those sandwich board specials are rather solid for the good quality you're getting. Call it a 'soft' recommendation wherein Riverside Burgers isn't a burger you absolutely have to go out of your way to try... but if you're in the area (and not feeling a smash burger from Happy directly across the street) you won't be disappointed. This one neither drowned below or exceeded my baseline expectations, it landed exactly in that median.  

 

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Closing Time

You see I wasn't even planning to write a review this week (despite having enough free time these days to probably write War And Peace if I wanted... ugh I hate winter). Then Sunday I got word of Steve's Music closing down nearly all their locations...   

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/after-6-decades-steve-s-music-to-close-most-locations-in-ontario-quebec-9.7080134

...then Monday (the day I'm frantically writing all this) I find out the Cineplex here in the Beaches is also shutting down imminently...

https://exclaim.ca/film/article/toronto-s-cineplex-cinema-beaches-is-closing-next-week?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=bluesky

...and well, I didn't want to wait a week to get some thoughts in on all of this (plus who knows in the meantime what crazy shit might happen in the world to make all this seem even more trivial... what a time to be alive!). 

I'm not really one who goes out to movie theatres all that often anymore, though that probably has more to do with me and my own interests rather than the state of the film industry and the movie theatre experience itself (which I hear can be frustrating). Anyhow, these guys below have far more knowledgeable insight and theories into that stuff specifically (it's a great watch I recommend it).   

 

I think what I'm more interested/concerned with is what exactly replaces these things and (in the case of Steve's especially) just in general how fewer physical options there are throughout a city as massive as Toronto. We've lost quite a few great little music stores here in the East End in recent years (Cask, Scarborough Music School to name a couple) and Long and McQuade, while fine I guess, is an enormous company and so all things being even I'd much prefer to support a smaller more independent business... of which there are increasingly fewer and fewer to choose from (most of which are also now very far away from where I am). 

Call it synonymous of a much much bigger problem that clearly exists with oligopolistic corporate capitalism here in 2026 (not to mention the difficulty for smaller stores competing against the massive convenience of online behemoths like Amazon, which is a different conversation entirely).

Likewise, I'm not shedding any tears for Cineplex as an entity losing a theatre... but it is unfortunate because it both takes away something distinctive about this area and creates a void for potential movie-going residents here in the East End who now have to travel either downtown or up to Eglinton Square/Golden Mile if they want to catch the latest blockbuster (there is the Fox sure but that's a different type of theatre). On public transit that could take an hour either direction, probably resulting in many of those people not wanting to even bother. 

I guess what I'm getting at is... well my fear of this city becoming culturally diluted to the point of featuring nothing but the same generic big box everything stores, familiar brand restaurants and of course condos! Lots and lots of identically empty condos. Am I being alarmist? Oh definitely! The true soul of a place, a city, is never lost overnight. Yet time passes and one day you blink and realize most of it is indeed gone. For instance the area I lived in during high school is now nearly unrecognizable (slathered in characterless modern glass and concrete) which wasn't even two decades ago.          

               

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Caps Off To Buck

Changing the subject drastically, legendary Blue Jays broadcaster Buck Martinez announced his retirement this past week. I'm certainly one of the many Jays fans who grew up with Buck (he was manager of the freaking team the first summer I really began following them!) and his genuine passion on the broadcast was such a big part of following the team and just summertime itself. 

Sure, in later years he'd have his annoying 'old school baseball guy' moments and the voice could wear on the ears somewhat... but the times he would jump into some insightful tale about a game he played in 1982 or working with a pitcher he was catching, or just general baseball lore (he played in the majors at the same time as Willie Mays, Bob Gibson and Hank Aaron!) was truly priceless.

Cheers to a hell of a baseball life! I imagine there must be a spot waiting for him on the Level of Excellence sometime soon. In the meanwhile, a video of some of his best broadcast calls.   

https://www.sportsnet.ca/mlb/article/a-tribute-to-buck-martinez-from-some-of-his-sportsnet-teammates/

 

 

Tuesday Tune

I was absolutely certain I'd used this song before in one of the previous 145ish Tuesday reviews... but apparently not? Time to change that.

 

 

That's it for this one! Don't know when we'll be back again... maybe next week? Next month? Who knows! Depends how much I feel like leaving the house I suppose. Until I do! Stay safe, stay warm, fuck ICE and most of all... don't spill that mustard.  

The Tuesday Taste - Alpha's Shawarma

 

 

I wish you 

would step back from that ledge

my friend

You could

cut ties 

with all the lies

that you've been living in  

 

 

Another Tuesday... another Taste. Safe to say we're in a bizarre era of this now-kinda-weekly review show, as this week's review in particular was so unplanned it feels almost dishonest to give it the usual song and dance. I'm almost definitely overthinking this... can you tell 2026 so far has just been a blizzard onto my mental health and social skills? No worries I can speak even quieter. 

So unfortunately Alpha Shawarma gets the writeup where I'm losing plenty of marbles (always in the last place you look) which is... sort of unfair to Alpha? Lets jump right into how and why I'm doing this one. First off, it was recommended/suggested to me back in the summer by a close friend (and occasional pizza trying companion) who lives very close to a location. Secondly, I happened to be making an (especially rare for 2026) social appearance downtown (I organized the thing so... bailing last second would be extra bad) and was on my way home, waiting for a streetcar at Queen and Bathurst at midnight and feeling some hunger. Soon upon realizing said streetcar would still be another fifteen minutes and it was a delightful -22 outside (oC) my thinking quickly became: even if they can't make my food in time to catch that Toronto trolley (spoilers they couldn't... there was a line) at least I'm not outside standing in the soul sucking freeze of a dry winter night. I've probably said this before but next time I see somebody wishing and lamenting for snowy January winter in the middle of July deserves a snowball thrown directly into their eyes (yeah I'm doing swell right now thanks).  

 

Backstory time! Well, both the internet and Alpha's own "About Us" page are quite vague on the specifics... so what I can sort of interpret with probable truth is that Alpha's Shawarma is a venture of a Syrian family with significant prior chef/cooking experience that came to Canada in 2018... and by 2022 they'd opened up their first location of Alpha's (the very one I went to at Queen and Bathurst). They've done well since, having branched out to four locations all in the central core of downtown Toronto. If any of this is actually untrue I apologize... I never claim to be an actual food journalist I'm just a lonely oddball who finds the written word easier and more comfortable to express than proper social engagement, plus properly researching things in depth was never my favourite thing to do in my university days so you can imagine how much I enjoy it currently.

 

Enough of my bullshit (the usual stuff and this miserable life-bemoaning kind) lets actually dig into this. Thanks for hanging in if you're still here. So the thing is: I actually don't get shawarmas all that often anymore... which is a minor shame because Delina here in the Beaches is absolutely fantastic yet I've only been a couple times in my decade-plus of living down here. 

Back in my 20s when I'd be in the Annex a lot, lots of late nights downing pints with now lost friends... different story. Shawarma is excellent drunk food and Ghazale on Bloor being open late and usually on the way home... good memories. So back then, I potentially knew more about what I was talking about when it comes to this. Nevertheless, it wasn't that long ago and I still remember what I like (no white onions!) thus I was indeed curious if this particular shawarma wrap would differentiate itself from the ones I frequented in my memory.   

 

 

I did note the preparation at Alpha's is a little different than the ones I remember... most notably how they press the completed wrap onto a sizzling flat grill, giving both sides a distinctly crispy touch.

 

 

I do recall other shawarma places using something akin to a panini press to briefly "toast" the shawarma but that was often when the wrap was already, um, wrapped in foil (thus lessening the heat and toasting effect). This was the first time I think I've seen a place just full on put the wrap directly on a heated surface and squish it slightly for maximum fried coverage. 

 

 

 

It's definitely a slender chicken shawarma and quite a wet saucy one (there was significant dripping even through the bottom of the foil wrapping). It has your typical shawarma fixings: turnips, tomato, hummus, garlicky toum (truly the good stuff) and also a second distinctive thing I don't recall other shawarma places featuring... a balsamic-like drizzle that really cuts through those other creamier flavours to add another, almost malty dimension. 

 

 

While perhaps not mind-blowing, this was indeed a tasty shawarma that hit all the right notes (especially after a few pints of wheat beer). The chicken has the right amount of oily greasiness and isn't too heavily seasoned, the crispiness throughout the wrap really is a fine touch, while the spice is entirely manageable. What it might lack in girth it makes up for in length as well... a sentence that surely cannot be taken out of context. Nope. *Cough*

 

 

Overall! I can confidently say that Alpha's is an above average shawarma and so would indeed recommend giving them a try. I can't speak for the other items (in retrospect I probably should've at least gotten some fries or something) but the spit roasted chicken here is indeed pretty solid, while those additional touches (balsamic-like sauce, crispy wrap) really bring the typical shawarma elements up a notch. Good stuff. 

 

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This Week In Star Trek

I've only somewhat recently gotten more into DS9 (for the longest time it was a little too 'space soap opera' for my tastes) and one of my favourite aspects of the show has to be these two characters and their beyond-exceptional chemistry together. The way the late great Rene Auberjonois delivers these lines is just a true chef's kiss of subtle performance. 

 

 

Tuesday Tune

yup. 

 

 

That's it for this week. Hopefully I'm in better spirits next time around (I hate winter... there's just nothing to do and seeing people is so much harder) but regardless, stay safe, stay warm, fuck off fascists and most of all.... don't spill that mustard.