The Tuesday Taste - Riverside Burgers

 

In a while will the smile on my face

turn to plaster?

Stick around while the clown who is sick

does the trick of disaster

For the race of my head and my face

is moving much faster

Is it strange I should change I don't know

Why don't you ask her?

 

 

Another Tuesday... another Taste. Another burger joint with a name that immediately reminds me of a song: 

 

 

Hey, I like that one a hell of a lot more than "Happy" by Pharell. But will this Riverside burger (coincidentally across the street) likewise be better or at least as good? We're about to find out. 

Much like Alpha's Shawarma last week (which feels like three months ago) backstory information on Riverside Burgers is not abundant on them interwebs... so it's back to Sherlock Holmes-like deduction! (forget this food reviewing thing I'm just gonna write mystery fiction instead). We know for sure that Riverside Burgers began its existence at Queen and Broadview in late 2019, replacing another longtime neighbourhood burger spot called 'Burger Shoppe' which was part of the now defunct BQM chain (I'm also pretty sure I briefly worked with one of the founders of Burger Shoppe when I was a teenager and he left the Drake Hotel to get into the burger game). 

Thing is, in 2019 when BQM Burger Shoppe turned into 'Riverside Burgers' they pretty much kept the same sign design, only adjusting the font and the actual name. At the time I recall noticing the change and just assumed it was a rebranding rather than a totally new and different thing. Adding more to the eyebrow raising is when you compare their menus: both places feature(d) an item called the "Riverside Burger" with the exact same toppings... not to mention the old "BQM Burger" is identical to Riverside's "Broadview Burger". Hmmm! 

None of this really matters since like I said, BQM closed it's last official location over half a decade ago... I'm just saying there's most likely some kind of lingering affiliation/inspiration going on here.        

But there's more! Riverside Burgers' website lists a second location on King Street West near Dufferin... a location I can find no evidence actually exists (I mean I could call the number on the website but... well I hate calling people). Google Maps has this King West address currently listed as a momo restaurant and the photos I can find appear to back up that reality. I did stumble upon a stray photo from 2024 of a gray building in a state of renovation with a "Riverside Burgers" sign out front... and that's all I got. See? It's a great beginning for a fictional mystery tale... "The Problem of the Phantom Patty"...   

 

 

Back to things that definitely exist (as in, not my mystery writer career) I remember BQM making some pretty tasty burgers, so if Riverside Burgers is on a similar level then this should be good! Walking in, Riverside Burgers is a very tight squeeze should there be more than one other patron inside with you. Truly they've optimized the amount of seating the best they can with the small red tables and chairs, plus the narrow counter by the front windows. 

 

To my pleasant surprise they offer some impressively affordable walk-in burger combos on the sandwich board out front. Alas... I felt it made the most sense to try their namesake burger with a side of small fries, considerable savings be damned. The things I do for this gig... 

The smell of beef and bacon on a sizzling griddle wafted through the chilled air (unavoidable since when the place is that small you're by default sitting next to the front door). After a decent wait (they were steadily busy this particular Monday evening with walk-in orders and the usual delivery fetchers) my meal arrived. 

 

 

 

Starting with the french fries as we always do... these very much have your "skins on" type of grittier texture and flavour. Some good crispiness all the way through and nice fluffiness within, solid. I would say however that they're a bit too salty. Not anything close to a lethal dose or anything but it is consistency noticeable on every fry. Also on the oilier side. Still totally fine as fries I'd say. Nothing amazing just quite solid and with real potato flavour well above any frozen/fast food chain option.

 

 
Onto the namesake, the Riverside Burger. Beef patty, cheese (menu says mozzarella but that's clearly cheddar) bacon, shredded lettuce, one onion ring, BBQ sauce and a garlic aioli. 

On first glance you can see the balance of things is quite askew here, as that's a lot of onion ring-plus-bun occupying the real estate. However this is not a smash burger (hooray a reprieve!) and so the beef patty is a bit thicker (5.5 oz according to the menu) than a single smash would be. 

 

 

There's a lot to like about this burger without there being much to truly love. The beef itself is very tender though not all that juicy, giving it more of a chew. Fortunately the flavour of said beef is quite on point with distinct beefy grill taste and a peculiar lightness in spite of a notable fatty element (probably speaking to the strong quality of the meat itself). 

Considering this isn't a very sauce-heavy burger either (I forgot there was even supposed to be BBQ on here until starting to write this) and the enormous onion ring... this thing could've been a crumbly dry slog. It isn't, thanks to the melted cheese existing primarily to soften the texture and a deceptive amount of the shredded lettuce (it must've been hiding in the center hole of the onion ring). 

The garlic aioli is... well it has the similar off/sour zing of a McDonald's Big Mac Sauce and little actual garlicky punch. It's fine I suppose but not my preferred style of creamy garlic sauce. You get a lot of that onion ring also and it brings a really good hollow crunch with sweetness within, yet nothing all that noticeable in the batter itself or any kind of seasoning. Very average as an onion ring, so it's also fine. Same with the brioche bun: nice and soft, definitely fresh... but no hint of any buttery undercurrent to really bring it up a notch. 

All of this is very 'just above average' for a more refined type of fast food burger except for the bacon, which they nail perfectly. Tender, greasy, very "bacony" (really the best term to describe it) with the right balance of fatty chew and crispiness. Plus, unlike many other bacon cheeseburgers... you can taste the bacon on every single bite. If their bacon is consistently like that, they could fill the Queen Street East void left by the now long deceased Rashers and also feature bacon sandwiches on their menu if they wanted.  

 

 

Overall! These are always the toughest ones whether to recommend or not. It's a good burger, even very good in a few ways... but not truly great. The best aspects of it by far are the meats: excellent bacon and a terrific beef patty that I wish there was a little more of (and remember I'm the guy who usually doesn't go for double burgers). 

It's too good to be forgettable but not good enough that I think I'll be craving it again in the future. This isn't one where hours later I found it's memory slowly growing on me either. If this were a pizza I'd be stamping the "B" grade on it with extra ink.           

Hmmmm. Well... they're open late (a rarity on Queen East) and those sandwich board specials are rather solid for the good quality you're getting. Call it a 'soft' recommendation wherein Riverside Burgers isn't a burger you absolutely have to go out of your way to try... but if you're in the area (and not feeling a smash burger from Happy directly across the street) you won't be disappointed. This one neither drowned below or exceeded my baseline expectations, it landed exactly in that median.  

 

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Closing Time

You see I wasn't even planning to write a review this week (despite having enough free time these days to probably write War And Peace if I wanted... ugh I hate winter). Then Sunday I got word of Steve's Music closing down nearly all their locations...   

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/after-6-decades-steve-s-music-to-close-most-locations-in-ontario-quebec-9.7080134

...then Monday (the day I'm frantically writing all this) I find out the Cineplex here in the Beaches is also shutting down imminently...

https://exclaim.ca/film/article/toronto-s-cineplex-cinema-beaches-is-closing-next-week?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=bluesky

...and well, I didn't want to wait a week to get some thoughts in on all of this (plus who knows in the meantime what crazy shit might happen in the world to make all this seem even more trivial... what a time to be alive!). 

I'm not really one who goes out to movie theatres all that often anymore, though that probably has more to do with me and my own interests rather than the state of the film industry and the movie theatre experience itself (which I hear can be frustrating). Anyhow, these guys below have far more knowledgeable insight and theories into that stuff specifically (it's a great watch I recommend it).   

 

I think what I'm more interested/concerned with is what exactly replaces these things and (in the case of Steve's especially) just in general how fewer physical options there are throughout a city as massive as Toronto. We've lost quite a few great little music stores here in the East End in recent years (Cask, Scarborough Music School to name a couple) and Long and McQuade, while fine I guess, is an enormous company and so all things being even I'd much prefer to support a smaller more independent business... of which there are increasingly fewer and fewer to choose from (most of which are also now very far away from where I am). 

Call it synonymous of a much much bigger problem that clearly exists with oligopolistic corporate capitalism here in 2026 (not to mention the difficulty for smaller stores competing against the massive convenience of online behemoths like Amazon, which is a different conversation entirely).

Likewise, I'm not shedding any tears for Cineplex as an entity losing a theatre... but it is unfortunate because it both takes away something distinctive about this area and creates a void for potential movie-going residents here in the East End who now have to travel either downtown or up to Eglinton Square/Golden Mile if they want to catch the latest blockbuster (there is the Fox sure but that's a different type of theatre). On public transit that could take an hour either direction, probably resulting in many of those people not wanting to even bother. 

I guess what I'm getting at is... well my fear of this city becoming culturally diluted to the point of featuring nothing but the same generic big box everything stores, familiar brand restaurants and of course condos! Lots and lots of identically empty condos. Am I being alarmist? Oh definitely! The true soul of a place, a city, is never lost overnight. Yet time passes and one day you blink and realize most of it is indeed gone. For instance the area I lived in during high school is now nearly unrecognizable (slathered in characterless modern glass and concrete) which wasn't even two decades ago.          

               

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Caps Off To Buck

Changing the subject drastically, legendary Blue Jays broadcaster Buck Martinez announced his retirement this past week. I'm certainly one of the many Jays fans who grew up with Buck (he was manager of the freaking team the first summer I really began following them!) and his genuine passion on the broadcast was such a big part of following the team and just summertime itself. 

Sure, in later years he'd have his annoying 'old school baseball guy' moments and the voice could wear on the ears somewhat... but the times he would jump into some insightful tale about a game he played in 1982 or working with a pitcher he was catching, or just general baseball lore (he played in the majors at the same time as Willie Mays, Bob Gibson and Hank Aaron!) was truly priceless.

Cheers to a hell of a baseball life! I imagine there must be a spot waiting for him on the Level of Excellence sometime soon. In the meanwhile, a video of some of his best broadcast calls.   

https://www.sportsnet.ca/mlb/article/a-tribute-to-buck-martinez-from-some-of-his-sportsnet-teammates/

 

 

Tuesday Tune

I was absolutely certain I'd used this song before in one of the previous 145ish Tuesday reviews... but apparently not? Time to change that.

 

 

That's it for this one! Don't know when we'll be back again... maybe next week? Next month? Who knows! Depends how much I feel like leaving the house I suppose. Until I do! Stay safe, stay warm, fuck ICE and most of all... don't spill that mustard.  

The Tuesday Taste - Alpha's Shawarma

 

 

I wish you 

would step back from that ledge

my friend

You could

cut ties 

with all the lies

that you've been living in  

 

 

Another Tuesday... another Taste. Safe to say we're in a bizarre era of this now-kinda-weekly review show, as this week's review in particular was so unplanned it feels almost dishonest to give it the usual song and dance. I'm almost definitely overthinking this... can you tell 2026 so far has just been a blizzard onto my mental health and social skills? No worries I can speak even quieter. 

So unfortunately Alpha Shawarma gets the writeup where I'm losing plenty of marbles (always in the last place you look) which is... sort of unfair to Alpha? Lets jump right into how and why I'm doing this one. First off, it was recommended/suggested to me back in the summer by a close friend (and occasional pizza trying companion) who lives very close to a location. Secondly, I happened to be making an (especially rare for 2026) social appearance downtown (I organized the thing so... bailing last second would be extra bad) and was on my way home, waiting for a streetcar at Queen and Bathurst at midnight and feeling some hunger. Soon upon realizing said streetcar would still be another fifteen minutes and it was a delightful -22 outside (oC) my thinking quickly became: even if they can't make my food in time to catch that Toronto trolley (spoilers they couldn't... there was a line) at least I'm not outside standing in the soul sucking freeze of a dry winter night. I've probably said this before but next time I see somebody wishing and lamenting for snowy January winter in the middle of July deserves a snowball thrown directly into their eyes (yeah I'm doing swell right now thanks).  

 

Backstory time! Well, both the internet and Alpha's own "About Us" page are quite vague on the specifics... so what I can sort of interpret with probable truth is that Alpha's Shawarma is a venture of a Syrian family with significant prior chef/cooking experience that came to Canada in 2018... and by 2022 they'd opened up their first location of Alpha's (the very one I went to at Queen and Bathurst). They've done well since, having branched out to four locations all in the central core of downtown Toronto. If any of this is actually untrue I apologize... I never claim to be an actual food journalist I'm just a lonely oddball who finds the written word easier and more comfortable to express than proper social engagement, plus properly researching things in depth was never my favourite thing to do in my university days so you can imagine how much I enjoy it currently.

 

Enough of my bullshit (the usual stuff and this miserable life-bemoaning kind) lets actually dig into this. Thanks for hanging in if you're still here. So the thing is: I actually don't get shawarmas all that often anymore... which is a minor shame because Delina here in the Beaches is absolutely fantastic yet I've only been a couple times in my decade-plus of living down here. 

Back in my 20s when I'd be in the Annex a lot, lots of late nights downing pints with now lost friends... different story. Shawarma is excellent drunk food and Ghazale on Bloor being open late and usually on the way home... good memories. So back then, I potentially knew more about what I was talking about when it comes to this. Nevertheless, it wasn't that long ago and I still remember what I like (no white onions!) thus I was indeed curious if this particular shawarma wrap would differentiate itself from the ones I frequented in my memory.   

 

 

I did note the preparation at Alpha's is a little different than the ones I remember... most notably how they press the completed wrap onto a sizzling flat grill, giving both sides a distinctly crispy touch.

 

 

I do recall other shawarma places using something akin to a panini press to briefly "toast" the shawarma but that was often when the wrap was already, um, wrapped in foil (thus lessening the heat and toasting effect). This was the first time I think I've seen a place just full on put the wrap directly on a heated surface and squish it slightly for maximum fried coverage. 

 

 

 

It's definitely a slender chicken shawarma and quite a wet saucy one (there was significant dripping even through the bottom of the foil wrapping). It has your typical shawarma fixings: turnips, tomato, hummus, garlicky toum (truly the good stuff) and also a second distinctive thing I don't recall other shawarma places featuring... a balsamic-like drizzle that really cuts through those other creamier flavours to add another, almost malty dimension. 

 

 

While perhaps not mind-blowing, this was indeed a tasty shawarma that hit all the right notes (especially after a few pints of wheat beer). The chicken has the right amount of oily greasiness and isn't too heavily seasoned, the crispiness throughout the wrap really is a fine touch, while the spice is entirely manageable. What it might lack in girth it makes up for in length as well... a sentence that surely cannot be taken out of context. Nope. *Cough*

 

 

Overall! I can confidently say that Alpha's is an above average shawarma and so would indeed recommend giving them a try. I can't speak for the other items (in retrospect I probably should've at least gotten some fries or something) but the spit roasted chicken here is indeed pretty solid, while those additional touches (balsamic-like sauce, crispy wrap) really bring the typical shawarma elements up a notch. Good stuff. 

 

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This Week In Star Trek

I've only somewhat recently gotten more into DS9 (for the longest time it was a little too 'space soap opera' for my tastes) and one of my favourite aspects of the show has to be these two characters and their beyond-exceptional chemistry together. The way the late great Rene Auberjonois delivers these lines is just a true chef's kiss of subtle performance. 

 

 

Tuesday Tune

yup. 

 

 

That's it for this week. Hopefully I'm in better spirits next time around (I hate winter... there's just nothing to do and seeing people is so much harder) but regardless, stay safe, stay warm, fuck off fascists and most of all.... don't spill that mustard.                 

The Tuesday Taste - Happy Burger

 

 

When they kick at your front door

how you gonna come?

With your hands on your head

or on the trigger of your gun

When the law break in

how you gonna go?

Shot down in the pavement

or waiting in death row 

 

 

Another Tuesday... another Taste. We're back for the first edition of 2026, the first review of what you could call the fifth season of this weird little weekly food review show and you know... with all the batshit insane tragic stuff happening geographically just below us (or nearly everywhere else) it feels more difficult than ever to really find the joy in a moment, any something that brings a genuine smile to your face. Well, fortunately I've got just the thing...

 

 

Nope. That didn't work at all. If anything I think I'm even angrier now than before. I've always legit hated that song by the way... Weird Al's version does a much better job of meeting the parodied's intended goal. 

Well, music can't be the answer every single time (only most of the time) so lets give food a try instead.

 

 

Happy Burger is, you guessed it... yet another smash burger spot. Gee-zus. New year, same old specific food item I just can't seem to escape. At this point I'm gonna have to review like twenty ramen* places just to balance things out...

*that's probably not going to happen, seeing as don't believe I've never actually had ramen

 

Nevertheless, reputation-wise Happy Burger is no "decoy in a police lineup" smash burger. First opening in Harbord Village on Lippincott Street in late summer 2020 (great year for restaurants), they made strong enough initial impressions to score a feature in Toronto Life and far more interestingly, make esteemed burger connoisseur Joe Friday's "10 best T.O burgers list" (you may also recall I made a visit to Chef Friday's burger spot a couple years back). What supposedly began as an early pandemic-driven side project for Mamakas Food Group vet chef Chris Kalisperas has now stretched out to three locations throughout Toronto, including their newest one in Riverside just off the corner of Broadview and Queen Street East. Hey... guess which one I went to?????

I'll confess to being in a pretty awful headspace most of this January/new year (there haven't been any reviews for a reason) and the irony of checking out a place called "Happy" Burger was not lost on me. The inside space at their Riverside location is fairly limited and upon walking in the door I was immediately concerned this visit had been for not: a huge (and I mean huge, like a bakers dozen) dual family party with kids were also settling in and the youngsters were very much rambunctious enough to chaotically threaten spreading out to occupy every one of the five tables in the little dining space. 

 

 

Luckily for me, the gentleman behind the counter sharply noticed this and after my awkward order managed to secure one of the tables for me. Take that, future generation! In all seriousness, I'm still entirely unsure if this fellow was actually chef Kalisperas himself... just on judging by how he very much seemed to know these two adjacent families and by me happening to overhear one of the parents discuss the Happy Burger franchise itself. Researching a bit into the history after the fact... Kalisperas does look somewhat similar to my recollection of this dude... but I can't be more than fifty percent sure. It's all these years of working busy venues and in a single night serving hundreds of people you probably only see once. When you actually only see them once... my memory goes into a total blur. 

Regardless, the owner of the whole thing or whoever it was, thanks for looking out for me on that one. Right.... the actual food.... my ability to get sidetracked in a tale surely can and will never change....

 

I may joke (mostly) about the sheer invasion of smash burgers these days, though what I am getting almost genuinely sick of are: burger joints doing crinkle fries. But waffle fries? Not one bit... I still feel like very few places prepare their fries this way and the odd occasion I do encounter them, I'm instantly intrigued.              

While I'm sure waffling fries takes considerably more effort/work (thus why places waffle on doing it... ah? Ah???) there is something really great about them when done right. You get a textural mix of airiness and crispiness, like you can somehow taste the empty gaps... and these in particular were quite a treat. Light salt that's all (though I later learned online their cajun seasoned fries are the way to go) and even the thicker slices still had an encompassing crispiness to them. 

The potato flavour is... serviceable. Had better, had much, much worse. You don't get much of it (they're fried in canola oil according to their website) and while these weren't aggressively oily I think I tasted more of that. Frankly when it comes to french fries, when the texture is such a home run but the flavour merely a single... I'm more than fine with that.

 

 

If you've been reading my reviews long enough (and if so what are you really doing with your life) then you might be aware that any time there's an opportunity for me to sample some kind of 'cheese fries' creation... the answer will invariably be gimme gimme gimme. That Happy Burger automatically gives you a side of their cheese goop rather than smothering potatoes away is curious (I made no special request and was dining in don't forget). Perhaps going for a cheesy swim is something that works less well for waffle fries and so choosing your dosage is their preferred alternative. 

Whatever who cares, because this cheese sauce is gold. Gold, Jerry! Super thick and gloopy, definitely quite medium cheddary... and best of all it really lingers in the mouth. It resembles nothing of a plasticy/American/Nacho cheese type of thing, which sure have their times and places but I much prefer something like this. It's so thick that it does coat the mouth similarly to a classic slice of processed cheese... but the flavour isn't nearly so empty. Maybe I'm wrong and this is legit some kind of brilliant Velveeda cheese sauce concoction buoyed by other ingredients... all I know is I had some left over and I saved that shit in my fridge for later, all.

 

    

Get on with the burger! (the masses surely are screaming). How about the box? Yes it's made of a white type of paper product and... no I'm kidding. I only took the picture because I found the number in the top right corner kind of odd. I'm assuming it meant mine was the 100th burger of the day? Cool. I shall hang the no-prize on my finest no-wall. 

 

I've incidentally and accidentally reviewed enough smash burgers over the past couple years that I've been led to wonder what is it that separates the average-y ones (which are still fine) from the more elite and memorable ones? So many of the basics are the same: the squishy potato fun, the basic cheese, some kind of "secret" burger sauce (and honestly few-to-none of those have stood out much at all). 

So it has to be the general construction of the burger, how the elements balance out... then more importantly the taste and texture of the beef patty itself and how it's actually "smashed". Hey, there are different techniques to do it and various regions have their own takes.

 

      
Happy Burger is considered one of the standout ones in Toronto and I have to agree. The execution of said beef patty is pretty flawless. Those griddled, greasy crunchy edges are there, deeper inside the beef has some juicy pull to it with a crumbly ground meat texture that never becomes overly chewy. The beef flavour is throughout and the seasonings are balanced just right... first bite as good as the last. The whole thing looks like it's on the verge of collapsing but it does hold together. 

As for the rest... they use Martin's brand potato buns (so I read) and I did notice this had a bit more fluffiness to it and was incredibly soft... which was quite welcome. Their burger sauce struck me as more of a yellow mustard-forward one... and then yes, in a move I frankly do not recommend... I... um... dipped a bite of the burger in the cheese sauce. *Cough*. Pure psychopath behaviour is my only comment on what motivated me and how that went. 

A truly delicious cheeseburger. However... I couldn't help but notice a limited time special on their board above the counter (you can make it out in my slanted photograph): a truffle burger. Well hot damn. While I'm glad I chose to first try Happy Burger's standard burger offering and so judge it accordingly... the idea of that truffle burger hung in my mind long after I'd made my exit and caught a streetcar ride home. Surely you can see what happened next...

 

 

This was a couple of weeks later (I'd already written most of this very article) and I was pleased to see most of my positive first impressions remained true. The same impossibly soft potato bun, the same beefy fried edges to the beef, all as good as before. 

Now though, we add mushrooms, very soft caramelized onions, a firmer Swiss cheese (compared to typical classic melty American) and a "truffle sauce" which I'd describe as having like a lightly whipped, ricotta-like texture. 

This burger doesn't overdue the truffle flavour but it's most certainly there on every bite, resulting in an insanely heavy and decadent experience. The onions (which are plentiful) give some crucial sweet zing and the mushrooms are quite juicy and loaded with flavour, as though they've soaked in a bit of all the other flavours (rich creamy sauce, greasy beef, onion zing) and incorporated it into their own. 

It's simply a fabulous burger. You get a bit of everything on every bite yet that deliciously smashed beef is always nudged a little more into the spotlight than the rest. I'm normally not even a fan of Swiss cheese and yet its distinct dry taste adds another layer to this thing. Just phenomenal.        

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Overall! I was going in with generally modest expectations, as it was only later that I learned how highly regarded Happy Burger actually is. Even had I known and adjusted said expectations accordingly... they still would've been surpassed. 

 

 

Not quite I'm afraid, dear box. Though that is a tall task these days. 

Smiles or not... great, great stuff here. Wonderful burger, love the uncommon waffle fries and especially the cheese dip... while that bonus truffle burger has to be one of the best burger specials I've sampled in quite a long time. Factor in the friendly service and you've got a burger spot here that I can't recommend enough! They've got three locations throughout Toronto and if either of those other two are as good as this one, definitely go give them a visit sometime.  

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This Week In Star Trek

In the department of "News Nobody Should Give A Shit About Because The World Is A Nightmare Descending Deeper Into Chaos"... there's a new Star Trek show! And it looks like absolute flaming garbage! After watching a few clips... yeah. You've have to commission (as in, pay) me to watch/review whatever the hell this thing is (because Star Trek it is not). 

It is a damn shame (such a sadness) that modern Trek of the past decade is mostly so damn awful (Picard: Season Three being the only exception I've encountered) because the classic stuff was, and still remains, so incredibly good. Timeless science fiction tales with great memorable characters that go both on wild space adventures and encounter moral challenges and issues that remain all the more relevant even today (I'd argue perhaps especially). Looking at both sides of a complex problem in a story and making you think about your own views and morals rather than hamfisting a single viewpoint into it... or in the case of this Starfleet Academy show... following characters you actually care about instead of ones that are insufferably annoying and make you feel dumber upon having listened to them.   

Anyhow! In honour of what was (and maybe can again with different creative leads?) a wonderful science fiction franchise... here's a new weekly feature on the Tuesday review show! It's one of my favourite clips from any of those great Trek shows of the past, this particular one finding the crew of the original Enterprise using an atypical (or theatrically absurd) way to defeat a captor:  

 

Tuesday Tune

Seemed poignant, considering. 

 

 

That's it for this week! So... for now I'm sorry to say I don't think we'll be back bringing these reviews every single Tuesday. It's winter, the world is pretty darn bleak right now and I have other creative ventures that carry higher priority. 

Nevertheless! Keep checking in on this weird little corner of the internet as there still will be articles from time to time for your reading enjoyment. For now though... stay safe, stay warm, fuck ICE and most of all! Don't spill that mustard.