The Tuesday Taste Returns: Burrito Bandidos Spicy Pork Burrito

 

I've got the demons in me

I've got to brush them all away

I feel the demon's rage

I must clean them all away

 

Another Tuesday or two, another Taste! Apologizes for missing last week: my genuine intention with these weekly reviews was to pull off a Cal Ripken-like streak of consistently getting on the field every game for this, but alas mental health does not abide by such schedules. Now though we're back. Back in black! Er... not really. As a return though, I really wanted to review something special and memorable to really catch back some momentum. Either something phenomenal or something truly dreadful... just a meal so electric on either side of the scale to really dig into and explain with passionate perspective. 

Nope.

This spicy pork burrito from Burrito Bandidos makes the ultimate mistake, at least for a food reviewer: it's merely okay. Kinda good, even. Kinda. Damn it! I have so little to talk about or analyze here, but I'll try. 

Even the website story is extremely lacking in flavour. Once you get past the bizarrely worded "Our Story of Best Food Delivery" banner (huh?), you get a generic story of their first location opening downtown (not even mentioning where) and since 2009 they've expanded. Geez, I thought I was shy. 

I happened to be hanging out with my long time friend Chris when I ate this, and via my descriptions he summarized it perfectly: it's like a mediocre first date. There are moments of chemistry and overall it's a moderately enjoyable experience, but I'm not in a hurry to call you back either. It's quite cheap for a burrito joint (a large was 11 bucks) and strangely not very filling. The "spicy" pork is accessible but not particularly hot in isolation, rather flavourless and overly chewy when isolated. Everything else is standard burrito filling stuff: refried beans, lettuce, green peppers, rice etc. There's some nice heat but I really can't tell if that's their hot sauce or the jalapeno slices. The ultimate C/C+ meal. 

As I warned you, this one is rough to review because I just don't have much else to say about it. The texture is fine....ish? It's more watery than juicy? Welcome back! Overall I'd say I'm unimpressed, but more so by the mediocrity than anything offensive to my tastes. Truly the definition of average: I can't suggest you stay away but I also can't really endorse it. Best eaten while drunk maybe? It certainly is food.

 

Burnt Ends -- I haven't accomplished very much writing recently (surprise) but I can say that my look at the Pink Floyd discography is nearly complete, quite likely to be shared later this week. Stay tuned for that, if that is your kind of thing! Even if it isn't, well read it anyways for the cool album covers because Floyd was also quite good at that.

 

Hey Doug -- You're such a massive failure I think you have a future working for the Toronto Maple Leafs. Too soon? Nah.

Speaking of the Leafs though... I feel for all you fans out there. You deserve better than watching Sideshow Bob constantly walk into rakes for fifty-plus years.

 

Old Man Yells At Cloud -- I'm very late to this (since I didn't write anything last week) but the way Woodbine Beach was trashed on Victoria Day weekend seriously pissed me off. Before I fall too deep into NIMBYism... is it really so goddamn hard to not be an idiot and clean up after yourself? I was at Woodbine Park (close to the beach for you non-East-enders) on that Sunday around 7pm, already having a devastating panic attack, watching a lineup of cars for several blocks all entering the beach. This is why I've accepted being unemployed and stuck at home for almost a year and a half? FFS. If you're visiting my only outdoor (and mental) escape, please don't leave it like a gigantic garbage bomb went off, for the love of gawd.

Also, this is just so obviously disgusting and needs to be a way, way bigger story than it has been so far. Spread the awareness.  

 

The Adventure of Link(s) -- Gotta finish on something more positive than that. This has not been a triumphant return thus far! First off: the always charming Andrew Rea (Binging With Babish) did a video Q&A and it's a good watch if you're like me: eager to learn more about cooking but unsure which questions to ask. 

On that level, this article I stumbled upon about the best way to prepare a hot dog is equally delightful. I've always been either a pan fry or boil type guy (the latter method was a source of much mockery from an ex-girlfriend) and this article really test-trials all of those ways and more! Worth a read.

 

Tuesday Tune -- Just shaking out the cobwebs, chasing away the phantoms

 

 

 

That's it for me. Sorry about missing last week, it was what it was and hopefully it's a blip in the history of the Tuesday Taste and not a regularity. More so than ever... be kind to those around you and be especially kind to yourself... stay healthy take care and don't spill that mustard.