(photo via Umamigirl.com)
Trying Pizza Pizza french fries (I know, I know) a few weeks ago for the Tuesday review, a thought occurred to me: what are the best dips for french fries? As I dove into the potential options in that review, more and more possibilities kept popping up... to the point where I had to cut myself short lest what had initially been intended as a blurb end up dominating the entire review.
Such a question always deserved its own article, surely. So here we go! Lets take a look at the choices.
Ketchup must be the most popular choice, and certainly without any doubt the most commonly available in the English speaking world. Every fast food joint is going to have it, either in packet form or those dispensers you have to press down on while positioning the little paper cup in the exact spot just below. Those are super fun: when I worked at Houston Bar and Grill (long departed) as a food runner, one of our responsibilities was to fill trays of ramekins with ketchup, mustard and mayo with those dispensers. Oddly satisfying to perfectly fill a little round cup.
Personally... I'm not a ketchup guy. At least not in my adult life. As a dip or condiment it simply just overpowers anything it touches... and while I know many who like that blend of sugar sweetness with a tomato bite, it's not for me. As a dip for fries... they do compliment each other when the balance is right (or the fries are lacking and bland, which is when I grudgingly add ketchup).
What of the other notable condiments? How do they match up with these tasty rectangles of potato?
How about mustard? Yeah, that's a weird one. There's an intense sharpness, especially with the spicier varieties, that doesn't mesh with potatoes for many people. Personally? It tastes odd, and the sting of genuine mustard doesn't really balance with a soft, fluffy potato... I just happen to love mustard so such that this pairing just marginalizes the fries as a vehicle for that taste.
BBQ sauce? Definitely not. Maaaaybe if it's a sauce that's on the tangier side, with a good thick consistency... but even then why would you want to waste a good BBQ sauce just to dip fries?
Any relish dippers out there? No? That's good... I'd hate having to consider any of you as severe sociopaths (kidding half kidding).
Hot sauce? Well... results may vary on the severeness of the spice, or the thickness of the sauce. I'd suspect a more vinegary sauce (such as Tabasco or Frank's) wouldn't quite work as a dip... they're so thin that most attempts to dunk would just drip off and leave your fry watery and weird. A thicker sauce though? Very compelling.
Time for a story! One from the wayback machine even.... the very first time I ever tried sriracha sauce (the classic Huy Fong version). I was still a teenager, working at the Drake Hotel here in Toronto. I must've ordered some fries (the Drake had truly excellent fries) and, bored of ketchup, found a bottle of this strange squirt bottle in the fridge of the side cafe. So, I foolishly drizzled a very healthy amount of its vivid red contents onto my snack. Hoooo boy... lemme tell you. As a 34 year old in 2022, I like my hot sauces and am aware-ish of the range that is way too much for me. As a 19 year old in 2007, growing up with parents who are very adverse to extreme spice? This first taste of sriracha kicked... my... ass. I couldn't believe what was happening to my mouth, the sensation just kept building and building... for a moment I thought I'd accidentally drizzled poison on my food.
Now? Love the stuff, put it on my eggs all the time. Still cooks my tongue a tiny bit, but nothing like that spring afternoon fifteen years ago.
Moving along, hummus is an option I personally find interesting. I was somewhat of a latecomer to the magical chickpea spread (we're talking early 20s here) but it's marvelous versatility (particularly as a pizza crust dip) quickly won me over. It is a great compliment to fried bread as is well known, but fried potatoes? Certain friends of mine initially called me insane (happens a lot) when I would use hummus as a dip for potato chips... which I still stand by goddamnit (especially kettle chips... that combo is mighty darn good).
Hummus and french fries though... it doesn't work nearly as well because the density of hummus is best utilized when scooped (such as by a chip or pita bread) instead of dipped. Flavour-wise hummus and fries are okay (very heavy in starch and earthiness), it's just that the logistics of it make the pairing somewhat awkward.
Speaking of pitas... how about tzatiki with french fries? Absolutely! It certainly works when they're paired and squished together in a gyro. Alone together? We're talking a creamy, garlicy dip with bits of cucumber goodness. Hard to imagine any fried food not pairing well with that.
How about everyone's favourite nacho or over-priced hipster breakfast accessory... Guacamole! Obviously a good guacamole makes almost everything better, but with french fries it encounters the same problem hummus does: this delicious creation is thick and thus ideally scooped instead of dipped. Also, the corn chip has such an obvious marriage to guac... that specific crunchiness combined with such green earthy creaminess can be sublime. With a french fry, not only is that vehicle physically less ideal for the dip itself, but the dip is likely to overshadow instead of compliment. I'm sure it would taste quite good, just because it's an excuse to eat guacamole... but the fries would be an afterthought in such a scenario.
Moving along to another staple of nachos: salsa. And yes, I know that salsa is a very broad term that essentially just means "sauce" in Mexican Spanish... so don't point that out! Regardless, as a french fry dip it encounters the same issue as something like relish: too watery. I think the flavour combination would work quite well (tomato base, hint of spice and onion/pepper crunch), but all that delightful stuff would drip off before it ever reaches your mouth. If you had something like a potato wedge, now we're talking... except then you're scooping and not dipping (and none of that around here, mister!)
Finishing up on this nacho diversion, how about a cheese sauce? Yeah, this is definitely something in my ballpark. Some of you may know of Toby's Eatery on College Street here in Toronto (and as a TMBL Brewer I am contractually obligated to tell you to go check out Toby's! It honestly is a great pub). What you may not know is that Toby's used to be a small chain of restaurants throughout Toronto, with a white bull terrier as its mascot of sorts. The location I remember best used to be at Yonge and Bloor: they had a 99 cent burger (with other purchase) that was pretty darn alright considering the price, and it certainly agreed with my 17 year old wallet and stomach.
What always stood out to me about that Toby's though was their cheese sauce: a perfect blend between overtly cheesy and offensively fake, gooey but not clingy, cheddary but also plenty creamy. I obsessed over this cheese sauce as a late teen, and any trip to that deceased Yonge and Bloor Toby's (RIP Yonge and Bloor in general) required any excuse to have that cheese dip. Incidentally, the closest approximation to this sauce I've ever had was my own creation... entirely by accident. During the lonelier days of pandemic lockdowns, I attempted to make a macaroni and cheese with a homemade bechamel from scratch. I was a little too heavy with the flour and stingy with the milk (following recipes precisely is for smarter people than I) but somehow I created this thick, bright orange cheddar sauce that tasted almost exactly like that long lost cheese dip side. There's almost a grainy texture to it... dots of cheese that didn't completely melt/merge with the cream.
Let us jump into gravy, because we obviously have to. Not that I would recommend actually doing that... although you would smell quite appealing for a while afterwards I suppose. Gravy (of all designs) goes together with french fries pretty darn agreeably... so much so that I can't even devise a worthy analogy for it. Describing why exactly it works so well is difficult... gravy in a sense is just fatty meat drippings broth (not to slag mushroom gravy, which is also damn amazing) and the richness of it pairs well with a salted, crisp potato package. Of all places, I recall KFC once having very good gravy... it was thick, salt and peppery, plentiful and an excellent diversion from their very sub-par french fries.
Poutini's (do they even still exist?) when they first emerged on Queen West was certainly a gravy that opened my eyes a bit. Quite certain it was a mushroom one (they advertised it as vegan I believe). Gravy is certainly the type of compliment/condiment that fast food chains will consistently get wrong... or rather produce an extremely inferior version of for quick and mass consumption. For a dip that doesn't exactly cling to the fry, gravy works because the flavour of it is so distinctive and yet not dominating... a good gravy adds an extra layer of taste on top of the foundation. Exhibit A: poutine. The defense rests.
Before the grand finale, I have to give a respectful shout to my true biggest weakness... a primary culprit in these doughier years of my mid 30s. Goddamn sour cream. I am a fiend for it, wherein I have and will sometimes plan my grocery visits around "what can I cook as an excuse to buy sour cream?".
As a dip, sour cream is admittedly limited. On its own (depending which brand you get, I hate the Gay Lea cheap shit) the flavour is pretty one-dimensional. The creamy texture is the addicting part, to me anyways. Combined with a crunchy chip... that heavy creaminess with a slight tang is simply heaven. I've become very picky with sour cream... the lesser brands tend to be thin and aggressively sour, even a whiff of it turns me away. Western is the one I go for the most, though Beatrice is acceptable and Hewlitt's (while sometimes watery) is fine as well. Sealtest used to be my jam but a particularly moldy one lessened that love some time ago (plus I just don't see it often anymore). Personally, I'm rather glad I've become such a specific snob about it because otherwise... I could still go through half a litre of the stuff per week like I did at nineteen. Not doing that is for the best, I'd say.
French fries and sour cream are an uncommon combo, but it definitely works. Depending on the brand or percentage of fat, the thickness of the cream can be an obstacle for comfortable dipping. However, flavour-wise there's a reason sour cream is such a necessity with baked potatoes. Throw some green onions in there and what else do you want out of life? The logic with french fries is very similar.
One final note on sour cream (I have to consciously stop myself with it, much like when I eat the stuff): does anyone remember the long lost Mel's diner in the Annex? It was where the relocated Victory Cafe is now. Mel's was a 24 hour diner-type spot that specialized in Montreal smoked meat (at least as well as a 24 hour place in the Annex could). They offered a poutine with said smoked meat, and while to be totally honest... their fries were pretty generic frozen fare and I'm not certain they actually used genuine cheese curds.... the damn thing was huge, cheap, and covered in smoked meat. It must've been 2008, I was biking home in the dawning hours after a crazy long TIFF shift at the Drake Hotel, and I ordered this very poutine to devour once I got home (the thought of it kept me going for that twelve hour shift of madness). Once I arrived at my mum's house, the sun peaking over the Rogers building on Jarvis from our balcony... the fries were ice cold but I didn't care because sour cream was the factor to elevate this post-work meal from an '8' to a '10'. I can still taste those bites, sitting in that long lost apartment gnawing on those long lost slices of smoked meat.
Moving along, here's an oddball one: salad dressings as dip for fries. Caesar dressing, even in goopier iterations, certainly would be a strong candidate for a successful match. Fattening as all hell, but I can picture that salty, creamy sting complimenting a fry. I'm not much of a fan of ranch, but if that type of peppery sourness is your thing then likewise I can see that working. How about a blue cheese dip? Again, depending if that's where your taste buds are with such a pungent flavour (I greatly prefer blue cheese over ranch myself) but I'd say through my experiences ordering chicken wings in pubs that it definitely makes for a solid (though smelly) dip for fries.
Time at last for the closer... which has to be mayo/aioli. Hope you all saw that coming. "Just" mayonnaise though is a broad definition and I'll agree generic Heinemann's mayo left on its lonesome is not a great dip for fries (or anything). There are deeper layers and modifications here that need to be elaborated upon.
First off... a combination I discovered as a teen and will still stand by until the end of time: mayo and ketchup. Baby, it works. Mayo as a solo dip for fries is just thick and frankly gross, meanwhile ketchup grabs the steering wheel and drives the car straight into the sugar ocean... but together? The ketchup helps thin the eggy texture (you have to swirl them together a bit) while the mayo presence helps to cut down the assertive sweetness. I've learned you want more mayo than ketchup, something like 65/35, and then you get the best of both: a heavy creamy taste combined with a sharp sweet tomato-esque sting. Pretty good.
Now... mayonnaise is such a blank slate in culinary terms... so easily manipulated and changed by other additions... that we have to talk aiolis. Just so we are clear, "aioli" is really nothing more than a fancy word for mayonnaise, though better aiolis tend to really go wild and distinguish themselves.
Another short tale for your enjoyment, dear reader! (and I do hope Anthony Rose himself isn't reading this, he would/should bonk me on the head). See, the Drake Hotel back in those late 2000s days I'm familiar with (when Chef Rose was in charge) had an aioli that would come with their french fries or various other shareables. Obviously it's been nearly a decade-plus since I tasted it, but I recall it being a smokey kind of creamy sauce... probably heavy on lemon and paprika. Anyhow, I being nineteen, picky and silly (as one does) would help myself to a portion of this aioli (it was on the FOH side of the pass, the food runners would be the ones scooping it into a ramekin), mix it with ketchup and use it to dip potato chips. It didn't quite work: the intense flavours tended to clash more often than not... while ketchup near any potato chip (that isn't ketchup flavoured) is clearly something I had to grow out of.
Anthony Rose loved to (and I'm sure still does) mess with people in his down moments away from the kitchen. There was a very greasy Chinese restaurant a block away from the Drake in those days (we're talking mid 2000s) that offered something like a 16 oz burger for 5 dollars. It was so goddamn crusty and terrible even teenage me was smart enough to only try it that one time.... but I happened to be eating it in the alley behind the Drake and Chef Rose was on a smoke break. He asked me where I got that burger from, and upon hearing my honest answer asked "Oh, so what's wrong with the burgers here?" To which I had no response. 34 year old me could conjure a semi-competent joke how even with a discount they're too pricey and I'm just being a cheapo... but deer-in-the-headlights 2006 me? Hopeless. Thank goodness Chef Rose never caught me mixing goddamn ketchup into his (extremely smokey) Drake Hotel aioli.
It's hard and probably also impossible to go example by example of great mayo-based french fry dips, because not only are the possibilities endless... it's a fool's errand to try objectively discussing such a thing. This would be akin to debating whether Greg Maddux had a better athletic career than Joe Sakic. I know where my predilections lay (Joe is a childhood favourite but pinpoint backdoor two seamers all day) but there is no "bad" answer because when comparing such high things the difference becomes a matter of personal taste and or choice for whichever reasons.
Regardless of if you prefer sweet, spicy, tart, assertive, garlicy (yes please) or any of the possibly infinite variations that can compose an excellent mayo-based dip for french fries... few other options approach the taste, texture and satisfaction of a good aioli as accompaniment.
Anyhow, there are even more sauces I'm sure that could be explored in detail (pesto perhaps?) but this seems a good place to end. Hope this was a fun read! As for my personal favourite french fry dip... it won't come as any surprise to many but I'm a sucker for a good garlic aioli. I really should try making one some day. Until then! Cheers and happy fry dipping.
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