This Week In Pizza: Capi's

 

 

 

Tucked in one of the most eastern jutting pockets of Etobicoke, Capi's Pizza is the definition of a "blink and you'll miss it" restaurant. Nestled in the corner of a little plaza on Dundas Street West, with a basic sign, little presence and a not-at-all flashy storefront... also at a point of a wide busy street where cars are zipping at high speeds down Dundas either having completed crossing an incline bridge over Royal York, or are about to go over it. 

Not often do you see an 'About' page on a restaurant's website that mentions how they went through some struggles ("lost our way" is essentially the quote) but Capi's does so. They've operated in various concepts and fashions since 1962, with likewise multiple owners and different hybrid ideas what to offer beyond pizza and other Italian fare. In early 2020, chef Mike Schillaci (formerly of Terroni and others) took over the space with the intention of an entirely new restaurant... except the locals in the area were supposedly so delighted by the notion of Capi's coming back that Schillaci decided to keep the name while transforming the concept into his own vision.

What is that exactly? It's a basic setup: maybe half a dozen tables for sit down eating, no patio or outdoor seating (difficult to do in a plaza) and the interior decor is black and minimalist. Most of the decoration is in fact accolades about Capi's itself, celebrating Schillaci's achievement of resurrecting the place and Capi's gold medal in a "Best of Etobicoke Pizza" reader's poll (second place was Pizzeria Via Napoli, which I will try very soon).

Clearly this is a spot very proud of what it has fought back to become (especially re-launching right before a terrible global pandemic... ouch) and while I am subjectively sympathetic... what really matters in these reviews is both the experience and most of all: the pizza itself. Lets bite into that, shall we?

 

 

As I like to do when sampling a place for the first time, I go for red pizzas (tomato sauce) with some kind of meat and a secondary element to compliment that. This here is Capi's "Roni" pizza, which I think you can probably guess what the meat is... chicken! Like, duh. 

Supporting this pepperoni pizza is some shredded basil (always an interesting choice to shred it, more on that later) and a plentiful drizzle of hot honey. In the top right corner (the red dollop) is a helping of a sauce spread they offer at the counter, for dipping and the like I presume. 

Getting the bad out of the way early: this pizza was overcooked, full stop. I don't mind some char, obviously it's a key staple of wood fired pies... but parts of this crust were flat out burnt, as you can see, which made it far too crispy and lacked any element of soft bread that I really like in a crust. Not off to a good start.

But! Despite that... I know a good pizza when I taste one, and similar to the unimaginable obstacles Capi's must've faced trying to reopen when everything was being closed and reopened and closed again... this pie overcomes a serious challenge and indeed rises to the precipice of excellence.

Breaking it down... excellent pepperoni. You get the tiny cups, pools of a greasy honey hit within (delightful) and the texture is sharp and lasting. Shredded basil! Now, I'm used to (having worked at Pizzeria Libretto a while back, not sure if I mentioned that a hundred times before) pizzas where the basil is in raw full leaf form and then baked with the pie. A super hot oven that takes 90 seconds to cook a pizza, it makes sense because the basil will cook, dry out a little but not burn and thus retain its flavour. Many lesser pizza places will just throw it on (same with spinach) and let it cook itself out into a horrible tasteless husk for twenty minutes because, it's a minimum wage chain restaurant and nobody really knows or cares. 

Capi's shreds the basil, which is an interesting choice in of itself (spread it out but lessen the full taste) and they clearly have wisely put it on while the pizza is cooling out of the oven. And... it works here. A nice little leafy secondary taste alongside the heaviness of the pepperoni and cheese.

Also, this is quality mozzarella. Not elite, that decadent soft buttery feel isn't quite there, but you taste real cheese that has melted of its own accord and not because it was chemically programmed to do so (see my King Slice review). Good cheese! One of those things you really notice when you have not-so-real cheese soon after or before.

The hot honey... it works (not so much the hotness, but the sweetness is a perfect touch) but man, I wish places would take a page from Mark's Pizza out in Scarborough and put that delicious stuff on the side. It's a wonderful compliment to this particular pizza, adding sticky sweet to pork and cheese and basil... fantastic. When you drizzle it on a still fresh-from-the-oven pizza... it tends to rapidly thin out and drip between the slices, sticking to the bottom of the box and the slices themselves... resulting in a very messy sticky delight. It is what it is, but having it on the side easily avoids this issue. 

Crust and sauce... as I said this was overcooked and so the crust was more like a pastry exterior. Very light, crunchy, plenty of airspace. Frankly, not my preference but also entirely fine. I don't recall the tomato sauce beyond it being of a solid quality, definitely a tomato sting, not overly watery or thick and more neutral on the sweet-versus-earthy scale. Good foundation.

Finally, the little red dollop in the corner. I'm certain it's a red pepper pesto, judging by the oiliness and grounded taste of it, and it's a unique side along for the ride (pardon the rhyme time). It's a rather hard thing to scoop or dip, as it's oiliness tended to leak and flow around the box (combined with the honey... this was a messy affair)... but when getting a good amount of it the flavour was extremely enjoyable. Lacking the bitterness and garlic of a usual basil/nut based pesto (also good), this one really leans into that distinctly initial sharp pepper taste, and lets the oil lead you down the aftertaste. Different and interesting.

 

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Overall! It's always a good story when a place that's been around for over sixty years, in whatever incarnation it might be (or incidentally keeping the same name) persists onward, continuing to be a keystone in a (frankly) easily driven by section of Toronto. Places like this are a big reason (that and hunger) I continue to seek out new pizza and new civilizations... to boldly go where no pizza reviewer has gone before... engage!

You have no idea how much a smile on my face grows when I watch that. 

Right, the review! Look, if I'm referencing one of my very favourite things while reviewing your place, odds are I'm glowing. Capi's Pizza is indeed a hidden little planet in our Toronto Pizza Galaxy that, while quiet, is doing excellent things worthy of the Federation's attention. 

This pizza, despite the overcook, was an example of simplicity executed smartly and creatively, those little touches (shredded basil, hot honey) adding so much to something that on its own would've been totally wonderful regardless. I'm giving Capi's a "B++". Taste-wise they remind me a lot of One Night Only, actually. I might have ONO slightly higher in a direct comparison but only slightly. Capi's is legit and I recommend trying them if you can. It's right at the bottom of the hill, don't drive by and miss it.  

This Week In Pizza: King Slice

 

 

(Yes this photo was obviously taken on the subway, no need to point that out.)

 

Oh, King Slice. What a long, strange journey it has been. 

They've been around for quite a while (1989 according to their website) with even their second location on Queen Street West passing the decade mark as well. Speaking of decades, the 2010s was really the era I was going to King Slice rather frequently (as frequently as an east-ender can, I mean). Multiple influences (mostly a former friend living there, also my mum in that brutal dual-condo on the corner of Dundas/Bloor) threw me into the High Park area at least once a week... and the residual late night food options on that stretch of Bloor are not exceptional. 

The McDonald's in the Dundas West subway! Actual Subway! Pizza Pizza! Tim Horton's! All the hits! But... if you could plan it just right, before they close at midnight (pardon the rhyme time)... a King Slice slice was waiting for you and was so infinitely better than all of those combined together. Not to mention they also made an enormous and damn delicious calzone. Giddy up.

My affinity for King Slice was so high, I even ranked them 10th in my initial Pizza Quest back in 2019. Tenth! In the entire freaking city! (the ranking fell to 14th in my 2022 revision) Which now brings us here, to 2024. 

See, it had been that exact five year span since I'd last been to King Slice, for various reasons (pandemic, a falling out with that friend, my mum moving to another city) I just wasn't in the High Park area a whole lot anymore. 

However, even so I'd also heard the reputation of King Slice was severely slipping. Something about it wasn't the same. Bad service was another complaint, which I can attest to: in late 2020 I was doing a painting gig in the area and during my hungry lunch break I called in to order a calzone for pick up. About twenty-ish minutes it'll be ready, I was told. No problem. I show up twenty-five minutes later, thinking I'm gonna have to wolf half of this hot calzone down before getting back to work... except there's no calzone. The dude had my name and order, but (apparently) was waiting for me to show up first. Yeeeah... that's how that works. "I'll make it and put it now! That'll be 13 doll--" Naturally, I replied with a more polite version of "I have to get back to work right now you stupid idiot, fuck off." 

And that was the last time I went to King Slice... until now. 

 

 

 

They've never had great selection among their slices: your standard pepperoni, deluxe, Hawaiian, Margherita etc... so I've always gone for the Arrabiata. No meat, sure, but you get a nice mix of earthy mushrooms, some herbal lightness and some spicy punch from the jalapenos. At least, once upon a time you did.

Yeah. This isn't exactly rocket science or brain surgery, so I'm not gonna be poetic about it. The whisperings are true, King Slice is barely a shadow of what it once was. Even here, freshly made from the oven a mere moment before it was in my hands... this was it's peak performance and it did not pass the test. Not good. Now, lets figure out how and why. 

This slice was... just so uninspired. The cheese, frankly reminds me of Pizzaville... which I consider an okay-ish pizza chain but yeah clearly when I'm comparing you to a chain you're off to a bad start. It doesn't even slightly resemble a quality full-flavoured, buttery mozzarella... this is like that pre-shredded stuff you buy in a grocery store that has a plasticy taste to it. Melts nicely, sure, but there's a chemical in there that makes it do that. This is just... so sad. Cheap is a better word.

It gets a little better with the tomato sauce, there's a somewhat vibrant tomato flare, although fairly uneven throughout the slice (sometimes huge chunks, other times barely noticeable). The toppings though... this is where the problems really show. Just something very bargain bin about it: watery mushrooms (pre-frozen I'm figuring, which I get but here they're not given any effort to jazz them up) and the jalapenos are just sort of thrown on like the most careless of afterthoughts. I like spicy things but if you're giving me a taco or a slice of pizza with a chunk of hot pepper that's two inches thick, not on the side but in the thing itself... well I'm gonna think there's something haphazard and lazy about what you're doing. 

The only thing saving this from true catastrophe is the dough/crust, and it thankfully remains as wonderfully tasty as ever. Very buttery, lightly crisp on the outside (and the bottom of the slice) while still soft and bready within. The texture of the slice remains pretty okay, although the awful cheap cheese messes with that a fair bit.  

And still! They have their wonderful garlicy/basil rub they put on the slice, which barely comes through on here may I add... I playfully said to the fella "don't skimp on that" to which he didn't even respond, did not give me a generous amount, and probably was more interested in the attractive 20-something girls also in the place. Hey I get it (as a 36 year old I'm really battling my conscience regarding how I can look at women born the year I went to the prom) but also ladies: you can do better. This pizza ain't it.  

 

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Overall. So, in a macro sense, what exactly has gone wrong here? Change in ownership? Cost-saving tweaks to the recipes? Bad management? Apathy after over three decades in business? Were they never all that amazing to begin with? Whatever it may be, I simply cannot recommend this to anyone, nor do I suspect I'm ever going back. To be succinct: King Slice is bland and overpriced. A shame, seeing as they truly were one of my favourites just half a decade ago. 

The clincher: the price. Yeah, everything and everywhere has gotten more expensive, and their slices remain massive... and personally I don't care all that much if what was once five bucks is now eight as long as the quality remains high. But it hasn't. My stomach didn't feel tiptop after eating this either, which is simply never a good sign. 

It's a precipitous fall from glory, and here's the hard landing. It's a "C-" and only barely. One of my pizza reviewing rules: if days later you're still thinking of other new ways it disappointed you, the grade keeps dropping from the initial moment (the opposite is true as well). 

If not for that crust remaining good, this is expensive Pizzaville and hell I'd probably take that over King Slice anyhow. The cheapness of the taste here cannot be ignored, there's so little substance. I doubt they even crack my Top 125 in Toronto at this point. Pour one out for the past, once upon a time we truly had something.                    

The Taco Taste - Holi Taco

 

 

I beg to differ, on the contrary

Agree with every word that you say

Talk is cheap

and lies are expensive, my

wallet's fat 

and so is my head

Taco time! In this edition for Taco month, we're checking out an extremely new and quickly popular taqueria here in the east end. 

Taking over the original Burger's Priest location on Queen Street East (Priest relocated further east into the Beaches)... Holi Taco is a cozy little take-out spot with a lot of character despite the confined space. The place is so new (I'm guess-timating a little under a month as I type this in mid-July) that they don't even have a proper website set up as of yet, just a modest Instagram page. As such, any information about the backstory or origins of the restaurant is extremely limited (unless a style-over-substance BlogTo video is your thing)... at least via the tools of the internet at my disposal from my comfy chair. I suppose I could've asked a few questions when I was getting my food but... uh anyway! According to a Reddit post, the owner/chef is from the Mexico City area and I guess that's good enough for me.

The vibe inside cannot be understated. Aside from the placement of the ordering counter, this is unrecognizable from the old grandfather Burger's Priest. Plenty of welcoming colours and decoration, music and conversation pulsing within the vibe ... a real feel (pardon the rhyme time) of a place you'd want to linger about despite the confines. I wandered in around 10pm on a Friday and at first felt like an outsider because everyone inside the restaurant and on the bench outside, staff or customer, all seemed to be old friends because of the generally flowing banter (a good amount of Spanish being spoken as well, and mine is limited and very un-confident). 

This outsider-ish-ness quickly evaporated however, as the chef's natural glow and friendliness put my "first time here!" awkwardness at ease. Looking over the menu, you've got your standard beef, pork and fish options (no chicken, surprisingly) with a couple of variations on both the pork and beef. For vegetarians, there's a mushroom-huitlacoche taco option as well as another with cactus paddles... all intriguing but rather adventurous (it's my first time!) so for my trio I went: fish, pork (the carnitas) and the beef suadero.

 

Yeah, the lighting wasn't great (stupid darkness). Before we dive into the tacos themselves though, Holi also has a little station of homemade salsas in molcajetes (stone bowls) on the window counter (there are also limes, diced onions and cilantro separately). Dear reader if you can see through the league of shadows, I got a sampling of all four of the offered salsas: the mild verde is in front next to the lime, in the middle are both the mild (most obscured by darkness) and the purple-ish macha, and furthest away is the super hot. The chef cheerfully suggested the macha pairs wonderfully with the beef suadero, and also warned the super hot salsa was, indeed, super hot. Challenge accepted, obviously.

 

 
More terrible photos! This is the pork carnita, and just on its own it is extremely flavourful. They chop it to order on the wooden counter in front of you (the chef at one point was chopping to the rhythm of the music, which was delightfully amusing) and the sliced-to-order juicy texture is undeniable. Nothing crazy with spice or seasoning or marinade, just straight up pork and it is fabulous. Definitely on the fattier side but all of the meat is so soft and nicely greasy anyhow that it hardly matters. Hold the tortilla firmly, this will spill out.

Speaking of the tortilla, here in July Taco Month this is the (as of writing) first appearance of a corn rather than flour tortilla! Flour has its advantages... mostly that they don't dry out as easily, but a good soft corn tortilla has so much more to it... which this indeed is. You can tell they make these fresh and in house (or possibly from Ossington tortilla shop Maizal, according to vague Reddit sources). The freshness of the gently sweet corn bursts onto the tongue, while the tortilla itself folds easily and isn't even slightly stale on the edges. Tasty and light. Just phenomenal stuff.

I'd say, if you're going the salsa route, both the mild but especially the verde matches well with these pork carnitas. The verde has less sweetness, more of a neutral green pepper sting and especially an onion crunch. The mild salsa on its own is positively delicious! A lighter sweetness, vivid tomato flavour, still some crunch, and none of that salty nonsense you get with those mass-produced salsa jars (*cough* Tosititos *cough*). This is the real deal, and the flavours linger wonderfully. 

 

 

Okay, so I hate doing "bite-in" photos like this. Nobody wants to see where my mouth has been (sometimes me especially... ba dum tss). However, in this case I have a very good reason! I um, forgot to take a picture of the fish taco until halfway through... I mean you couldn't see the fish at all when it was still whole! That's the, uh, story-I-mean-ticket.

Honestly though, this fried fish (haddock, according to the menu) was indeed buried under a bushel of cabbage slaw and loose diced onion and tomato (both of which were nice crunchy and juicy accompaniments). Unlike the other two tacos which were reasonably generous with loading up the meats, there wasn't a whole lot of fish on here. 

However, there was juuuust enough... because you could definitely taste it. A very vivid, quality fried fish flavour and despite existing like a chestnut hidden in a cabbage patch, the distinctive fish taste became clear and also stuck around nicely in the mouth when you got a good bite of it. Good choice on the light batter as well: not a lot of airspace between the shell and the filet, and considering the crunchiness already there with the slaw, having a crunchy fried fish stick as well would've really been too much. Instead, it's a delicate fry and all together a fairly good fish taco.

 

     

I figured the fish taco was the ideal one with which to sample the super hot sauce, so through the looking glass I went. 

Conclusion: to put it elegantly, yeah it's pretty damn fucking hot. I mean, indeed yes it provided significant sizzle to my innocently awaiting taste buds, whereas afterwards the interior of my mouth felt a considerable reaction I say.

It's a good hot salsa though. Really good. The best kinds of spice aren't just "burn your intestines for the next half day for the sake of it". Real authentic good heat has a specific and unique flavour while it slowly murders you, and this one does. This one doesn't dance at all down the path of sweetness, no... nor is the build a slow one. It's a pure "coming at you" of sharp tomato and hot pepper that gives a good initial punch, but that first swing is also far from its strongest and none of them subside quickly either. 

Objectively, a pretty good spicy salsa that might not be for everyone. Like a good spice, it still gives an avenue for the taste of the other flavours in the taco even as your mouth is burning. As I said, of the ones I sampled I think this fish taco is ideal one for this. 

 

    

Finally, a decent-ish photo! I mean, the beef suadero! You had me at "slow cooked beef brisket taco", truly and honestly. Feel like I can just leave that here... but no I'll get into what makes this delicious looking taco (spoiler) so damn delicious.

As I wrote about in my Dang Smoke review, and as I'm sure to mention again... you can tell when beef brisket is slow cooked by an expert hand via both how tender the beef is and how the flavour lasts on each bite. This is different from Dang Smoke (for many reasons) as they slice relatively thick slabs of their slow smoked brisket for sandwiches, whereas Holi probably slow roasts and carves (or chops) theirs into smaller shredded bits for tacos. 

The difference is mostly textural. Like the carnitas, this suadero taco is exceptionally fatty (leaving a notable grease stain in my takeout container) but when a meat is just so well prepared and so tasty in this form, the fattiness is a feature not a glitch. Another enjoyable layer and flavour within the tender shredded beef within. It's amazing how something so simple can be so damn marvelous: this is just a fattier cut of beef with a softly heated corn padding, after all... yet the beef is so excellent and full of life (irony I know) that you could eat this as is, without any of the frills, and still enjoy it immensely.

However, I took the chef's recommendation and sampled the macha salsa with this one. Yeah, I think he knows what he's doing. Excellent combo. To my credit-I-mean-ego and not knowing what this salsa exactly was, I detected a nice mix of nuttiness with dried peppers in this salsa, which turns out are the key ingredients in macha (go me!). 

It is a really wonderful salsa: bit oily (almost more like a pesto without the bitter assertiveness) but with great balance between the richness of the nuts and tang of the peppers... and the thicker parts of it compliment the fatty beef quite nicely.

 

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Overall! You know, it's almost serendipity I discovered Holi Taco at all, despite my relative proximity to them. Rare occasion I happened to be on a streetcar, looking north, and seeing a new taco place the exact month I'm doing a taco review schtick? Hell, with those caveats I still would've tried them even had the Google ratings been trash.

They're not. Holi currently averages a 4.9(!) of 5 with about 80ish reviews, a grade that will surely drop but I can't imagine by much. There's not much for me to be negative about with this. The fish taco? Still good, but easily the weak link of the three (needs more fish). Otherwise, I genuinely loved all of this: the different salsas, the wonderfully cooked and prepared pork and beef, the incredible soft yet firm  and flavourful corn tortillas, the atmosphere... all of it is absolutely exceptional. 

This is one of the best places I've reviewed all year, some of the very best tacos I've ever had in my life period, and I cannot recommend them enough. Go try them before they really blow up onto the Toronto food scene, and I'm certain/hopeful it won't be long.    

 

Taco Tune

I've always loved the video for this song.

 

          

See you all next time, some time later this month for the Taco Taste!      

     

 

The Tuesday Taste - Montana's BBQ and Bar

 

 

Everybody smash up your seats

and rock to this brand new beat

This here music 

mash up a nation

This here music cause a sensation 

 

Another Tuesday... another Taste! 

Even now, a month later, I am lamenting the fact I missed Beaches Ribfest this year (for comparison sake, imagine the crowded Ribfest at Centennial Park except smaller, not at all crowded and most of the same BBQ joints). Curses! Damn my summer employment and weekend baseball commitments... no actually I'm very cool with having those please continue indefinitely... 

Anyhow, in that absence of an annual tradition I'd been feeling some BBQ for a while... and my dear dad messages me while I'm working a boring Argos game asking "have you tried the burgers at Montana's?" Good sir, I barely even knew Montana's's (Montaneses? Montanei?) still existed! 

If you give it a look... they are plentiful but none are remotely close to any TTC subway station. In fact the closest one to the central core of Toronto is so close to Pearson airport you can see the windows along the planes taking off/about to land as they pass over your head.

Montana's is one of those 'chain-sit-down-restaurant' joints I've grouped in my head with Boston Pizza, Kelsey's, Jack Astor's, Earl's, the Firkins, Appleby's would the famous American example... you get my drift. I suppose each one has their own shtick, but having worked for a few of these kinds of restaurants in the past what has always been a weird feeling for me is how all about "bringing the brand" the experience is. Almost every place you ever work, restaurant or corporate chain or otherwise, will want that kind of "project our uniqueness onto the patrons/customers" (if you've watched Office Space you know what I mean)... which cool (I guess) but when all your restaurants have the exact same regimented decor and style, the exact same "funky" artwork on the walls or identical wooden paneling along the booths, or a repeated neon sign quip at every single location... well does quirkiness necessarily go hand-in-hand with uniqueness? I don't think so. Not when it's such an obvious widespread effort.

Perhaps this is a reason why none of my Tuesday reviews ever even considered trying these types of places. Big, faceless fast food chains are fun to slag and compare against one another (although less fun to consume), while more independent local spots are extremely enjoyable to review because the food comes from a place of true heart, love, and soul... telling their stories and the people behind them (often the owners themselves) is wonderful. 

Chain sit-down restaurants like Montana's are in that weird middle ground: I'm sure each individual location has its own fascinating story, every staff member with endless tales about their experiences... but there are so many of them and as mandated by corporate they all look the same anyway so... what's really the point? 

It seems I'm revealing a mild disdain for this particular type of restaurant, which is only particularly true. Again, Montana's wasn't at all close to my radar (or where I live) for the weekly review... but a free ride (and he sneakily paid the dinner bill too, thank you again) from my dad made me shrug and say "why the heck not?"

Backstory! Well, there isn't much I can find. The concept appears to have been born in the mid 1990s as a BBQ off-shoot of Kelsey's (gee think I just mentioned them) and in the late 1990s the Montana's chain (as a subsidiary of Kelsey's) was bought out by what is now known as Recipe Unlimited... an enormous conglomerate you've probably never heard of (I hadn't) but they also own Harvey's, The Keg, New York Fries, East Side Mario's, Swiss Chalet... I dunno did you really expect any different? When you have a hundred locations and almost each one I guarantee has a significant dedicated parking lot... 

Review the f#@#@g food already! Huh? Who said that? Must be the ghosts circling around me. Lets get into that. My dad wasn't exactly insistent about me trying this (insistent is not his style) but after his partner and her father both raved about the burger, he was indeed curious what I would think. The car trip getting there (and back) was hilarious and will make a hilarious story on a later date (I gotta run as I edit this) but to this point I've already spent far too much time ranting about corporate restaurant chains. Here's the burger already you impatient ghosts!

 

                      

Montana's offer a few different burgers. A veggie option (duh), a "Canadian" burger which adds a slice of peameal bacon on top (which is what my dear dad got), and a brisket burger! Crispy onions, slices of BBQ brisket, cheddar cheese, all on top of a burger. 

I confess... I've never had slices of brisket atop a freaking cheeseburger before... so going in (I looked ahead of time) I knew this was my move. Damn, I love brisket so darn much... read my *shameless plug alert* review of Dang Smoke if you don't believe me. Good beef brisket is one of my very favourite food things ever. As a weird sort of bacon-substitute on a corporate restaurant chain burger? I wasn't expecting anything truly incredible. 

Indeed, it was not. But... as a brisket? It was fairly okay. You can tell it's a gimmick and a slight afterthought... the truly best brisket (like a Dang Smoke) will smoke that shit every morning so to be ready to order, and the tender, melty texture/juiciness shows in the process. 

Here? Tougher, not to the point of chewiness (thank goodness, that was my biggest fear) but loose enough and some decent flavour (although drenched in BBQ sauce it was tricky to tell where that ended and the brisket began). If this was alone on a sandwich? Hard no. As a textural accompaniment atop a burger? Decent supporting piece.

Fries! They were fine. Crispy, salty seasoning, and tasting like fries should. Hard to give points here for nailing something so basic... but I will because these were quite all right. Imagine a level of quality wherein you're at a table with a bunch of friends but none of you are super hungry, but somebody orders a basket of these to share and they're gone within fifteen minutes. It's a good, quality level of french fry. 

 

     

Okay Montana's burger, lets see what you've got because I've had a sampling of the best, Toronto or otherwise. Harry's Charbroiled, Burger Drops, Friday, the NYC Shake Shack... and In-N-Out still remains my GOAT (much to the lament of my parents who grew up in Winnipeg with the Salisbury House 'Nip'... look it up). You better bring it, Montana's!

Within the second bite, I already knew how I felt about this burger. It's... good! Comparing it to those places I rambled/joked about above isn't entirely fair (nor is it nearly on that level) but this was a darn tasty, flavourful cheeseburger.

The beef patty itself... reminds of that grilled taste you get from a backyard BBQ, expect the patty itself is about twice as thick. Much like Harvey's actually, except a considerable notch above. To Montana's credit, this is a hefty burger and unlike your buddy's grill wherein you could probably wolf down three store-boughts with a minimal food coma afterwards... halfway through this thing I had to start taking my time a little bit, and I came in real hungry. 

You get a lot of that grilled flavour and there's definitely some good juicy texture, although far from anything dripping or greasy. The supporting cast? I already talked about the brisket, however on the best bites of this burger there's a pleasant match of soft hamburger with thicker BBQ sauce drenched within sliced beef. Again, an odd combination I'd never encountered before but it kind of works. 

How about the rest? Good bun, barely noticed it for good or bad. Like a baseball umpire, sometimes it's best when you forget they are there. Cheese? Not much either beyond texture and a hint of sharpness. Standard pre-sliced cheddar (not true fake cheese thankfully, which would not have worked here at all). BBQ sauce? Sadly a bit too much of it, and a dominant flavour. It's a sweeter BBQ sauce which does work, and a fine sauce on it's own... juuuust a little too much of it. 

Crispy onions? Man. I don't get why places put crispy onions on hot burgers fresh off a grill or griddle or whatever. It's HOT... the heat contained within (the burger is still cooking while it cools) softens those crispy onions to the point you lose the precious crunch, which is the most appealing aspect of crispy onions, and once that happens they're just kinda... there. Tepid, soft and flavourless. It doesn't work! An onion ring on a burger? Likewise the batter and crunch of that will soften and lose it's full impact, but at least you still have an actual fried onion within to provide something! And when done right, the crunch of the thicker batter of an onion ring remains. Put those tiny crispy onions off to the side, pile em on once you're halfway done the burger. 

 

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Overall! Lets ditch the preamble and get into the honest question: is this an objectively good burger? Answer: yes! I quite liked it. Nothing along the likes of those places I mentioned earlier, but beyond my crispy onions rant this is an example of a fairly generic good-ish burger spruced up with other solid supporting flavours. As I said, the quality of beef patty itself is of a friend BBQing on a grill cooking up high quality store-bought patties but really knows what he or she is doing. 

Much like Gus Tacos... it's so in the high end middle of my vague "recommend or don't" range, that sweet spot where if you have it you'll enjoy it most definitely, but there isn't anything particularly explosive or lastingly memorable about it. Perhaps, having never tried anything else of their food before but still indeed take my words of wisdom as scripture... if you find yourself at a Montana's and are debating the merits of a good looking burger... I can say it is quite solidly good. And most importantly, very filling. 

 

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Half Man Half Recollection               

Vince Carter, future basketball Hall of Famer and (I presume) the first man to have his jersey retired by the Raptors (and they freaking better... the Nets are also retiring his number and they don't even play in the same city as they did when he played there!) goes through some of his career highlights and it's a lot of fun. At least, the first ten  and last two minutes are. Those daggers he hit against us still hurt, man.

 

Tuesday Tune

It's either the best album of the 1970s, or easily the best album of the 1980s (though Paul's Boutique remains my favourite). Great song, insanely flawless record.

That's all for this week I gotta run, maybe a review next week we'll see but until then take care stay safe and don't spill that mustard! 

The Tuesday Taste - Gus Tacos

 

 

I can feel the Earth begin to move

I hear my needle hit the groove

And spiral through another day

I hear my song begin to say 

 

Another Tuesday, another Taste! So as we are now in July (already? Geez) it's time for a themed month! Recoil in horror and unsubscribe. Wait, can people even subscribe to this thing? Where's my agent...

 

Anyhow, it is henceforth decreed that this July of 2024 shall be Taco Month! Taco July! Tacjuly? Julyaco? Hmmm. Needs work. Where's that damn agent? 

For real, I love tacos and there are multiple places in Toronto I've wanted to try. Aside from Xola (two blocks from my house) never have I even reviewed a taco, yet I've been craving a good one for probably over a year now... hell I legitimately used to work in a freaking taco restaurant (that is not a story I'll be sharing, nor will I ever review said restaurant without considerable compensation... and no it isn't Taco Bell).

The time has come! July shall be Taco Month, henceforth. However, seeing as there are five Tuesdays in this particular July... well too many tacos is never a bad thing (I sure could go for 100 tacos right about now), but to avoid severe repetition not every July review will be taco-focused. At least three, perhaps four. There will be something different in the middle to change the pace.     

 

Enough preamble. We're here today to talk about Gus Tacos: a Toronto mini-chain with a surprising (to me anyway) number of locations throughout the 416. By my count they have seven locations: one in Kensington Market, one out in Long Branch on Browns Line (great pizza place near there, seriously), one near Queen and Roncevalles, one in that new fancy Super Plaza 'The Well', one random one on Dupont Avenue west of Symington (near the original Mattachioni), one on Bloor West somewhere (bah I'm not made of airports) and finally the only one east of Yonge Street... and very far east it is, indeed. 

Kingston Road and St. Clair Avenue East... which are familiar sounding streets, as is the sound of a nearby GO station simply named "Scarborough" (emphasis on "simply")... but check that map to see where it is and-hoo-jebuswhydidIgothisfar??? 

I'm passing 1940's era motels on the way back! Yes, they still exist! (the history is fascinating). This is also where St. Clair East ends... a street in which the eastern section of it only begins when Taylor Creek starts shimmying southward and St. Clair can sprout off from O'Connor Drive. This is already significantly east of Woodbine (or where Woodbine would be, it merges with O'Connor and drifts north-east) and St. Clair East continues on for seven kilometres straight on until the diagonal Kingston Road, following the shoreline, halts it for good. I mean, you could also just check a map to see what I'm talking about... I guess... but isn't it more fun hearing me describe it? Yeah? Really. Hmmm. Better cancel that YouTube Toronto exploration series I'd invested in and was planning to film-where the hell is that agent???      

I honestly know nothing about Gus Tacos, beyond various thumbs up via interneting people... so what's their story? Well... it's a story about family. A young business graduate (Emilio Bravo Morales) teamed up with his talented chef cousin (Augustine) and his father (Michael) to open a takeout counter half a decade ago in Kensington Market named La Chilaca Taqueria. Their authentic homemade approach to Mexican cuisine (and cheap prices) were a hit in the Kensington Market food court, and by 2019 the first standalone location of Gus Tacos ("Gus" seems to be Augustine's nickname) opened up steps away from where their food court stand had been. 2020 came along and the rapid success fueled them to plan expanding out to three more locations that very same year!

Well... yeah 2020 did... 2020 all over that...

...except, they actually did open up more locations that year and all were successes and still exist! (aside from a planned one on Gladstone Avenue that the pandemic indeed squashed). Now at seven locations, and still with impressively high regard among internet reviewers (mentioned positively multiple times in a Toronto Reddit thread asking where are the best tacos)... well time for me to stop getting paid by the word* 'Dickens-style' and actually review the damn thing. 

*I actually don't get paid by the word (or at all, with rare exception) for the record. If I did? Lord have mercy. 

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I happened to be biking home from Rouge Hill (I'm a maniac don't ask) and this out-of-nowhere Gus Tacos location on Kingston Road, probably 30 kilometres away from the next closest one, was on my mind. Locking up the wheels, my first impression was upon how their appearance/deliberately intended decor struck me (and I've since learned all their outposts share this aesthetic). 

Extremely basic: red and white, clear bold lettering everywhere, bright inside so to accentuate those root colour schemes, and nothing playful about the menu. No flashing screens (no screens of any kind)... just straightforward "here's what we have, prices for each category are above". How damn refreshing.. Believe it or not I rarely go into fast food joints (usually just for these reviews) and when that happens I simply cannot stand these newer menu screens that continuously shift into something else. It's bad enough I'm about to pay money for your mass-produced food... can I at least have a moment to consider what I want before the menu I'm looking at changes, and I have to waste a moment of my life standing awkwardly waiting for the other screen to come back? Who thought this was a good idea?

Sorry, getting off track. Thought this would be a short one! Anyhow, I got three tacos: their Asade (beef), Barbacoa (braised lamb) and a fish taco. I'll briefly (briefly I swear) break them down one by one, then at the end say which ones I liked best alongside my overall impression of Gus Tacos. 

 

     

The fish taco leads off! Well... I've had better. But also... this is pretty nice. Nothing really stands out via flavour or texture, but all the elements you want are indeed there. Shredded lettuce? I like more crunch, but it's fresh and plentiful enough to be a factor. The aioli drizzle? Kinda there, can't even remember the flavour... but the presence of creaminess hit at just the right moments. The fish itself? In two fried pieces... not a cakey or flaky batter... good crunch, and a cod taste that was real and lingered nicely long enough to prove its genuineness. 

A very simple fish taco, without an outstanding element. Yet, the sum of its parts were above mere competence and together surpassed that limitation. Enjoyable, tasty... not gonna change your life but impressively solid. 

Quickly on the tortillas as well... very nicely done. Not flaky or dry in any place, they hold the contents within very snugly with their own delicate softness. Slightly oily, and they are flour tortillas so there isn't a huge amount of taste to them. But as a texture and taco vehicle? Well done.  

 

       

Call me mint jelly cause I'm on the lamb! If anyone gets that reference please comment... there's a free taco in it for you!*

*free taco not guaranteed via agency difficulties... damn that agent!

The barbacoa taco is the weakest one here, and that's only because the meat is on the dryer side and so the taco needs at least one more thing. 

The braised lamb itself: not tender or juicy, which doesn't help when the only other thing you have is a bush of cilantro riding shotgun (and I like cilantro). These bits of lamb do have some flavour, that distinctive peppery, tighter taste of lamb. Also... yeah this could've had onions in it, which I refused. Onions and I have a complicated relationship... green onion? Hell yeah! Shallots? Ugh nope. Caramelized onions? Hook me up! Diced raw white onions... well you get it. And this onion offering would've been of the "white and diced" variety... can't do it.

Even had those onions come into play, this lamb taco would've still been far too dry. It needs avocado (too expensive)... or a chopped fruit like pear (too random)... or how about some hot sauce?

As you can see in the lead photo that... oh hell I'll just put that photo here again:

 

 

Right. those two orangey sauces below are Gus Taco's hot sauce. There is a choice and I was asked whether I wanted mild or hot. Well... hit me with your best shot, Gus.

This hot sauce... well the thickness of it saved that dry-ish lamb taco first of all. Also: it's a killer hot sauce. I love it... and it also is spicy as all hell. 

A weird mix of sweet chili and creamy, and also an instant punch that does not go away quietly. Really has some sting, my eyes watered a bit (good sign) and the flavour had that hint of sweet and richness that I mentioned. Best of all: flavour-wise it acts as a compliment (an assertive one, but one nonetheless) rather than a spotlight stealer. Even in the hottest moments, I could still taste everything else. Marvelous!

 

 

Last one is the Asade beef taco, and yeah that looks a heckuva lot like pulled pork... my first thought was they fungoed my order. 

Nope! It's beef. I was definitely expecting some kind of sliced and grilled cut of steak instead, but the risk with that is having it sit around in a metal container/warmer just to dry out and become tediously chewy, and or lose it's juicy flavour via the steam. Instead, clearly the work of a slow cooker and made in bulk, and while it doesn't look like much... this beef is actually very tasty. Deceptive juiciness, plenty of beef flavour and it even lingers in the mouth for quite some time. It's a fairly one dimensional beef taste, sure, but still is a surprising winner for that lasting flavour and soft, enjoyable texture. Really liked this one.

Also, one tiny note before my concluding thoughts on Gus Tacos... why do so many people hate cilantro? As you can see two of these tacos are beneath a bushel of the stuff, and while that is a bit too much of it for me I do find cilantro an entirely inoffensive herbal accompaniment. It is a bit more assertive parsley, sure, with its sort of sharp and sweet taste... but I'm genuinely curious why there's so much disdain directed at it.

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Overall! There are some faults. The biggest one being: three tacos and I was still slightly hungry. That being said, I was in the middle of a long bike ride and am taller/heavier than the average dude... but still. 

I also think two of these (the lamb and the beef, lamb especially) just needed one more thing. A sauce, some crispy or pickled onions, diced tomatoes, cabbage... something to elevate the good but very basic flavours. 

Alas, all these tacos were five bucks each and I think you're sort of paying for what you get here. Which is: a very simple but effectively tasty taco. Good portions on the meats, in lieu of anything supporting them. I'm no expert (this isn't pizza) but I figure this is exactly what an average-ish (maybe a nudge above) taco would grade out as. They're just a little too simple for me to really sing their praises, despite the little that is there working quite well.

Considering these circumstances, this is kind of a half-recommendation. Do you have to drop everything and go try them? Not really. But if you're hungry and happen to be near one, it definitely won't let you down. Plus, I do wonder if their non-taco options (tortas, quesadillas) have a bit more to them. Overall... good. Just good. 

Oh, right. Rank em!

1. Asade

2. Fish

3. Barbacoa

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The Sound of 90s Playoff Basketball

Neat article about John Tesh's "Roundball Rock", best known as the theme to the NBA on NBC for several seasons (with NBC about to get NBA broadcast rights again, wonder if they bring it back). His story about having a tune in his head at 2am and no way to record it aside from calling his own answering machine is quite a relatable one.

 

Tuesday Tune

Catchy late 80s jangle rock. It's great.     

 

 

That's all for this week! Until next taco time, stay cool, stay safe, and most of all don't spill that mustard.