Another Round At The Local Thirsty

Many people over the years have asked me the story of how I came about to work at The Local Thirsty, inquiries that I cheerfully deflect like a shuttlecock in a game of badminton. Rather, what interests me is how other folks first came into this sleepy little basement bar in the center of downtown.

One such tale quickly jumps into recollection. It was a few years after I'd secured most of the daytime shifts at The Thirsty, and so knew most regulars extremely well at this point. There was a trio of older gentlemen that always came in on Fridays, right at four-fifteen without fail.

First was Charlie, the self-appointed ringleader: short, bald and stocky and often wearing a hockey sweater even in the summer months. Charlie was the loudest, the most opinionated, and the most generous. He'd pull you into a one way conversation about something in the news he strongly disagreed with, but it was charming and worth your time.

Then there was Denny, or rather "Dennis Maxwell Charlton the Third" as he introduced himself. Denny was always immaculately dressed, often in a dark silk suit with a colourful tie and a pocketwatch chain dangling from his vest pocket. His hair was usually slicked with hilariously bad hair dye, like an almost glowing brown that even teenagers don't possess. Unlike Charlie, Denny was extremely cautious and precise with his money. His habit of tipping exactly fifteen percent on anything could sound funny, until he pulled out his coin case and there were thirteen nickels and six dimes atop my bar.

Completing the trio was Archie. He was the quietest one: wearing regular clothes and not bothering much with the graveyard of hair wrapping around his head. Arch would hardly say a word to anyone beyond Charlie or Denny, and once I learned his consistent drink of choice was a double rye and ginger, we only communicated through smiles and he tapping his reading glasses.

So it was another Friday, the calm after a somewhat busy lunch, and right at four-fifteen the gang walked in. Charlie was already chatting loudly about a big hockey game that evening, Denny was strutting in a bright purple suit that would offend Willy Wonka's taste, and there was Archie shuffling in quietly behind them.

'Hey Taps!' Charlie proclaimed to me as they sat at my bar. He always called me that and I bet it was because he couldn't pronounce my name. 'Beautiful day ain't it? Only sixteen below!'

They got their usual drinks (Archie his rye-ginger, Denny a Lychee Martini and Charlie whatever domestic beer we had on special) and mixed in with some of the other regulars at the bar. One woman in particular that Denny's arm was around had the trio very excited, and overhearing them I learned she was an old boss from decades before. Eventually she ordered a drink from me, a red wine, and looked at my bar in reminiscence.

'I remember the first time I stepped in this place...' She commented, running her hand along the smooth wood of the bar. 'These bums dragged me out here and I'll never forgive them!'

Everyone nearby hollered. The old boss (Angie, I later learned) bought everyone a shot (including me) and we all cheersed. It may be the loudest the Thirsty ever got at four-thirty in the afternoon.

'Well, I been coming here long before any of you!' Charlie boasted, spilling a bit of beer onto his order of fries. 'I remember seein' Savard high stick Bossy in the face on that big screen right there!' He blindly pointed to a corner that did not have a television, nor looked like it ever had.
'Was that your first time here, chap?' Denny asked.
'One of em for sure! Don't remember the "first" first time! They all kinda blend together.'
'Well, fortunately my recollective abilities are more exact.' Denny remarked, sipping his martini. 'It was summertime I'm certain and I was with you, Charles. You wanted me to check this "great spot" and my hopes were sky high. Instead you led me... here. But I will say, this place has delivered some fine memories over the years, and it's grown on me accordingly. To many more years, friends!'

We all cheersed again (I with a glass of water) and downed what we had. The trio all ordered another round of their familiar choices, except when I gave Archie his, he shook me off.

'Double gin and tonic, actually. Sorry about that.'
'No worries' I replied in surprise, putting the rye aside and pouring a gin.
'Arch? Drinking gin? You dying or something? What's up?' Charlie asked.
'Ah nothing, nothing.' Archie answered, slightly uncomfortable. 'You know, memories.'
'Wait a moment, chap.' Denny began, sliding elegantly into the moment. 'I don't believe you've ever told us about how you came to this humble hole. What a good anecdote that would be!'
'Yeah Arch! C'mon man, you never told me either. Heck, you mighta showed me this place for all I remember!' Charlie added.

The rest of the crowd leaned in to listen. Visibly unaccustomed to this amount of attention, Archie took a large gulp of his drink, which was another out-of-character move and he coughed a bit upon swallowing.

'Well...' he began, tapping his chest to clear his throat, '...fellas, the first time I came here, was the day I met my wife.'

A hush fell upon the crowd: clanging pints became quiet as doorknobs, whispers fell into an abyss of background static, the automated glasswasher stopped on cue, our regular patron Jake "Nosey" Nosul stepped out for a smoke, and Charlie silently nodded at me for a refill. I've never in my years tapped a beer and felt so much a character and a spectator within an event.

'You all want me to tell the story, don't you.' Archie observed, his eyes shy but curious.

We all gave a subtle cheer so as to ease our reserved friend into telling the tale. And he began:

'Well I was working as an intern at Hudson's Bay, fresh from college. One night I worked overtime in the office and the other fellas were restless for a drink. So I tagged along. They were especially thirsty so we ended up in the first spot we saw. It was a downstairs hole, smokey and cramped with old stools and booths, a smell of damp wood clinging to the place.

"What a dump! It's perfect!" One of them remarked.

'We sat at the bar for a round of whiskeys. The sun was down yet the joint was empty, except for a bearded man reading a newspaper and a young couple at one of the booths. My work fellas were busy discussing business:

"Stocks and bonds."
"Stocks and bonds?"
"Yes. Stocks for sure! Then bonds."
"I dunno. Bonds and stocks for me."
"Bonds and stocks?"
"Bonds and stocks."
"Mad man! Stocks, with bonds. At most."
"With bonds? Stocks, equal with bonds?"
"That's it. Stocks equal bonds."
"Stocks equal bonds? Or stocks equal with bonds?"
"This is all madness. Stocks and bonds!"
"Bonds should be so lucky to have that."
"Quite!"
"True, when put that way."
"Sorry fellas." I interrupted, 'I need to freshen up."

'I left the bar and made my way to the back where the washroom was back then. I was about to enter when a woman exiting from the kitchen bumped into me. She had chestnut hair, short and curly around her ears, wide green eyes and a long smile, like a kayak. With a smile she apologized, dusted off her white uniform and darted back into the kitchen.'

'Wait wait, dear chap. She was a waitress here?'
'Denny don't interrupt man!' Charlie scolded, whacking his friend on the leg with a coaster. 'You was sayin', Arch?'

'Right. So I was about to go on about my business when my eye caught something shiny on the floor. A ring. "She must've dropped it!" I thought. I headed back out to the bar and saw her speaking to the young couple in the booth. Ring in hand, I approached her.

"Hey, sorry I think you dro --"

'At first she smiled, but then seeing the ring her expression transformed into crisis. She looked me straight in the eye and shook her head just enough so I'd notice. The couple there noticed my  presence so I had to think of something.

"I mean uh... sorry could I... order another drink?"
"Sure! What would you like?" She asked through an awkward smile.
"Yeah! Um... gin and tonic?"
"Great! I'll bring it right over to you!"


'I sat back with my work fellas, but I realized being so close to that booth wasn't going to work. Instead I took a table in the back. A few minutes later the waitress came over, with a gin and tonic in hand.

"Oh my goodness, so sorry about that! Here, it's on the house."
"Don't worry about it."

'I handed her the ring. "I guess you don't want your friends to know you almost lost your wedding ring."
"Oh no!" She laughed. It was a short, sweet bursting laugh. "It's not mine. It's an engagement ring! Robert there is planning to propose."
"Shoot! I almost ruined everything! Sorry!"
"It's all right! You couldn't have known. I'm the one who dropped it after all! Oh goodness, Robert never would've forgiven me."
I sipped my drink and inquired: "Why do you have their engagement ring?"
"Because Jessica is the nosy type, ha. Robert thinks she'd find it somehow if he hid it at home, so he lent it to me until the right time." 
She leaned close to me to whisper: "He's planning on proposing tonight."
"Well."
"I know right!" She beamed. "I'm so happy for them!"
"Happy for who? What's going on back here?"

'See this whole time, we hadn't noticed Robert and Jessica wander from their booth and over to our table. And there we were, the secret ring visibly in her open hand, Robert looking at us in horror and Jessica eyeing it all suspiciously. The jig was surely up.

'Then suddenly, without warning, I was pulled into a face and kissed square and passionately on the lips. 

"Goodness yes! Yes! Of course yes! You've made me the luckiest girl in the world! Ahhhhh! This is the happiest day of my life!"

'She put the ring on her finger and happily kissed me again. Meanwhile her friends were very confused. Robert wanted to ask a question but then perhaps realized what was happening and backed off. After more kissing and believable tears they gave us some space. 

"That's some quick thinking." I said.
"This is so ridiculous. I can't believe you got so involved in this!"

'She blushed and smiled, looking upwards as though to ask the ceiling what could possibly happen next. It was adorable and I wanted to make her feel better.
 
"It's fine! Really! This is way better than what I'd be doing otherwise." I insisted, glancing over at my work colleagues who were playing cards at the bar.
"I can just explain everything to Robbie at the restaurant later and give back the ring then. We're all supposed to go together once my shift is up. Except... oh no..."
'I asked: "What?"
"Well, isn't it strange if I go with them alone now? Especially since they think they just saw me get engaged?"
"I... oh."
"It's okay, you don't have to keep this up. I'll figure out something out."

'Her back turned to leave. "Wait!" I said. "I'm happy to play along. Lets try this."

'She was skeptical, but agreed. I lingered for fifteen minutes until her shift was finished, and we went together back to the booth where her friends waited.

"Wait." She whispered before we arrived. "If we're supposed to be engaged, I think I need to know your name."
"Right of course." I whispered back. "I'm Archie."
"I like that name. I'm Martina."

'So we sat across from her friends, my arm awkwardly around Martina's shoulder and her hand awkwardly touching mine on the tabletop. Robert and Jessica asked a bunch of questions about how long we'd been dating, why they'd never met me --'

'Shoulda just said you were off to war, Arch!' Charlie interrupted. 'I used that one on Cristina all the time!'
'Still a surprise she ever divorced you, chap...' Denny remarked, his tone as dry as his martini. 
'Stop cutting in! Let Arch finish the story!' Shouted someone. And so Archie continued:

'Our answers weren't smooth, but somehow they seemed convinced Marti and I were actually an item. As the charade went on, my arm wasn't so weird on her shoulder and the touch of her hand on mine wasn't forced but comfortable. Robert and Marti went off together to freshen up before the dinner, and of course so she could give him the ring back and explain the truth to all of this. Jessica and I chatted about something I don't remember until they returned. Right then was also when my work folks were leaving the bar and saw me sitting next to an attractive woman.

"Archie! Hey hey!"
"Don't be up too late, we need you back tomorrow morning!"

'I laughed all this off, but nobody else did. Jessica was looking right at Martina, pointing at her hand.

"Where'd the ring go?"

'She had no answer and I didn't either. After all the wackiness I think we'd both just plain run out of ideas. Not Robert.

"It's right here." He said, pulling it from his jacket pocket and presenting it to Jessica. "And it's for you."

'I think a lot how none of this went as he planned, even so many years later. Here's a moment he'd planned for a fancy restaurant, over expensive wine and candlelight. Not in an dim basement pub with empty bottles of cheap domestic beer. But in that moment it didn't matter to him, this was the right time and place. I don't understand it but I admire it. Jess waited a shocked second before screeching "I will!" and there was a lot of kissing and hugging and the same stuff Martina and I had done an hour before. Except real. 

"That's how you really do it!" Jessica later joked. 

'We shared one last round before the lovebirds went off for that dinner. I walked Martina to the streetcar and we waited together under a streetlight.

"It was kinda fun having a fiance for a while, even a fake one ha ha!"
"I can see what the fuss is about." I smiled.
"Here's my train. Thanks again for everything. You're very sweet Archie."

'After a hug I watched her climb the steps and sit by the window. We waved again at each other as the streetcar sped away. Then she was gone.

The bar was silent for several seconds, waiting for more. 

'So... the end? Charlie asked.
'Yes.' Archie nodded, finishing his gin and tonic.
'No... kiss? Under the streetlight?' 
'Don't think so. No, definitely not.' Archie replied.
'No Shakesperean soliloquy, chap?' Dennis asked. 'Or a poetic farewell and promise to meet again?'
'None of that, no.'

The other regulars who had gathered for the story were clearly confused, looking into their drinks as though that could lend closure to the tale. Charlie was visibly the most so in this regard. 

'I'm real confused here, Arch. After all that, you didn't even ask her out?' He asked.
'Didn't seem like an appropriate moment, no.' 
'So then, chap. How'd you ever see her again?'

Archie tilted his head side to side and grinned oh so subtly, the singular time I've ever seen him do that.

'Well fellas, I did know she worked here. And well that wasn't my last time here, obviously.'

This made the bar go completely nuts with cheering. Dennis bought everyone one last round and shouted: 

'To The Thirsty, chaps! To friends and to dear Archibald here!' 

I worked countless wild Fridays and heard countless wild stories from all types of people, young and old, rich and poor. But never such a tale from such a man so reserved as Archie. The majority of words I ever heard him say come from that particular day, as though he saved them up for just that special occasion. And like how he found that ring on the floor, catapulting him into that story, I am also grateful to be just in the right place at the right time.

Old Slides And Swings

Here comes a fall again. I thought maybe today could be different, just once it wouldn't come. I leap in fear as somebody carrying a stuffed toy passes me from behind, but he's the only one nearby. At least I'm alone for this one.

Here's a place I remember well: younger times, before the falls began, the skipped classes, the yelling parents, the doctors' questions. The carefree days of a child's world. My playground, hidden off to the side of the school and away from the view of the streetwalkers. As this fall builds that old spot is where I find myself, tears forming and feet shaking. Still no one else around, only internal shame to accompany and deflect.

Here's a tall slide I scraped my knee on once. Still have the scar. One time a real doughboy slid down after me too soon and landed right on my back. Another time Sandy Carlson kissed me at the bottom, I thought it was super gross at the time. She moved away to Ottawa in Grade Four and I never saw her again. If only I'd had an option to bank that moment away. I could use that kiss right now.

Here's a set of swings now changed, reminding me of age. Too old to fit on these carefree flyers, too young to yet be called a man. I bat at the chains with my fingers, finding faint childish delight which slows my descent. Once my hands start shaking I'll stop. They've built a garden here now in the exact spot I used to land from the launch of a high swing. Somebody pushed me from the back once as I jumped, so I landed on my head. I chased that jerkwad around good until the teacher broke us up. We swore we'd settle the score after school. Simple schoolyard justice I long for you.

Here now it's too late. The fall hits hard and I'm buried in the sand, a mess of dirt and directionless emotion. Heartbeats speed up like we all did running out here for recess, and they slow like we did dragging ourselves inside when the bell rang. Now the bell rings in my mind and I only want the days of the past: free me from my recurring terror. 

A Place For Innocent Amusement

My mom and stepfather were arguing so loudly I just had to get out of the house. Apparently Mom had burned dinner or "Gerald" had been hiding gin under the sink again. I threw some snacks into my backpack, turned off my cellphone and was straight out the front door just before a "Where do you think you're going?" was yelled into my dust. There was a nearby alleyway to the side of our house I ducked off into, in case Mom or (ugh) "Gerald" came out after me. A few minutes passed and there was no action from the house. I guess they had more important things to argue about.

That battlefield wasn't nearing a ceasefire anytime soon, so I wandered further from home and towards the streetcar lines. The main strip was still bustling: a car zoomed by with the windows down and a bunch of dudes hollering at the night; a scene through the liquor store window where two underage kids were trying to negotiate with a clearly impatient cashier, and young couple pushing a stroller while their older child ran in front and smacked his palm against everything. A trio of girls in university sweaters walked past me and giggled. A group of boys in the same sweaters followed behind and eyed me suspiciously.

Action was happening all around, but I caught sight of something strange hidden within. Across the street was a strange yellow and red light, shining brightly through the trees of Kew Park. I hopped over the streetcar tracks, the curb, the garden sidewalk that just wouldn't grow, and headed deeper into the park. The source of it seemed to be around the bend where the baseball diamond was, so I crept behind the trees that hug the bleachers to get a peek without being seen.

Once I got a clear look, I couldn't believe what I saw. Striped tents of various colours were scattered across the ballfield, with all sorts of booths, games and attractions inbetween them. At the furthest edge of the fair in centerfield was a modest Ferris Wheel, yellow lit and spinning brightly against the background of dark trees. I entered the fair through the open dugout door and was amazed at both how noisy it was and yet how there was nobody here. The game booths were well maintained but unmanned, the small rides spinning constantly without supervision, and the show animals allowed to wander the grounds without consequence. I grabbed a baseball from the ground and threw it randomly at a row of bottles, knocking four of them over. A slight ringing sounded from behind me.

'Congratulations! You win the medium sized prize. Help yourself!'

A woman appeared, white haired in a hat, tall and proud looking despite holding a silver cane and being dressed in the same gaudy colours and stripes as the carnival.

'Who are you? What is this place?' I asked, like a generic protagonist.
'Why, I run the carnival of course! From the blue feathered duck brothers to Worchester's Wheel way back there. The most fun place in town!'
'Sure but, sorry I... I don't really have any money on me...' I said, fumbling through my empty pockets.
'Don't worry, kiddo. We've got you covered! Except for the food concessions, but you wouldn't want that stuff anyway...' She winked and handed me a stuffed owl toy. 'Don't forget your prize!'

She led me through the grounds for a while, mostly as an excuse for her to point out and explain the many dazzling attractions featured tonight. An expert trapeze monkey, a seven horned rhino, a cheeseburger from 1904 that still sizzled and smelled great, a diary from lost Atlantis, and a cannonball that could not be lifted by mortal man. One obvious question couldn't escape my mind, though, despite the tour.

'Where's everybody else? Like your staff? Or the other visitors?'

The carnival leader stopped and ran a finger slowly along the brim of her hat. 'Well, most of my staff have moved on, I'm sad to say. And I miss them. Now it's just me and the animals. We don't talk much, understandably.'

She began walking again to show off the other attractions, but I was unswept.

'But why am I the only one here?'
'Hmmm. Well my young, questioning friend, because you're the one who wants to be here.'

She spoke it like a line repeated countless thousands of times to countless others who maybe existed or maybe didn't, but still I felt the words directed at me personally. Something in the tone, the warmth, the welcoming acceptance. This was an escape, a safe space. My safe space. The mysteries of this place I could not explain, and that's not what I really wanted anyway.

I played the fairway games, marveled at the centenarian burger, petted the friendly blue feathered ducks, had a sporting conversation with the seven horned rhino and rode the giant wheel twice before the chilly wind from the lake told me of the late hour. I waved goodbye and closed the dugout door behind me. The sounds and colourful lights faded as I left and by the time I got back to the streetcar lines, any signs of the carnival were completely gone: the trees of the park dark once more. The air here on the street was warmer though than before and I took a longer way home, thankfully with a stuffed owl toy to keep me company.

Breaking The Bank

'Hurry up will ya? It's gonna close soon!'
'I'm going as quick as I can here, dude! This machine's like, slow or something.'

On cue, it spat my card out for a third time.

INCORRECT ACTION. PLEASE REMOVE CARD

'Damnit!' I groaned, snatching my card and popping it back in.
'We're only got like fifteen minutes, man. I don't wanna be rushing around when we're in there. That's gonna be extra suspicious!'
'The store is only a block away. You sure this is gonna work anyway?'
'Hundred percent, man. Chuckles got these straight from a guy he knows in Chinatown. I just scanned our yearbook photos in and bam! Same birthdays, just legal years of birth.'

IMPROPER PIN. PLEASE TRY AGAIN

'Ugh come on!'
'Just like use another machine, man! Tick tock, tick tock!'

I glanced around, seeing only two other options. One was out of order and the other was taken by a guy and a girl eating gyros and giggling awkwardly. Besides, I'd come this far.

INSUFFICIENT FUNDS. PLEASE REMOVE CARD

'What the actual fu... oh I hit my Saving's Account by accident. Whoops.'
'Dude! I'm gonna go there and buy the stuff myself. Just wait for me here.'
'Yeah right!' I laughed. 'One glance from the cashier and you'll fold instantly. You need me behind you at least for moral support, keep you relaxed while I look cool.'
'If you don't hurry up withdrawing your damn money it's not gonna like, matter either way!'
'Keep your pants on. I think I finally got this. A little patience with a machine and it always pays off...'

INCORRECT ACTION. PLEASE REMOVE CARD

'Damnit damnit!'

Absolutely 64 Again

She totally likes me. She does. How could she not? I'm awesome. I'm super cool. Like the way I played it when we were on the bleachers. She was twirling her blonde hair, blinking her eyes super fast, poking her foot against the metal bench, breathing air like she was thinking about it. And I was all like, so lets meet up at Souvlaki Hut and she fell in love when she said "Sure".

Totally likes me. She does. How could she not? I'm pretty cool. Like the way I'm standing here outside Souvlaki Hut, pretending to mind my own business but I'm really checking out everything. Cooly, of course. Like some old dude and his son dressed up exactly the same, or that cute curly haired girl lugging some groceries across the street. Bet she'd be into me too, if I tried. How could she not? But I'm waiting for somebody else. Her loss. Plan B maybe? Seamless. I'm just that awesome.

She likes me. She does. I'm great. She's late, but whatever. I'm just standing here, super cool because that's how I do. Maybe I could talk up that groceries girl while I'm waiting. You know, she'll fall for me and then I'll have two ladies all over me. Damn, but she's gone. Oh well. Her loss. Next time I'll jump on that. Bit windy today. Whatever, I'm cold on the outside but inside it's all cool.

She's gotta like me. She does. I'm good. Been waiting for almost eleven minutes but I'm cool. I could just leave anytime but it hasn't been that long, imagine I leave too soon and then she comes and misses me! That'd be cruel. I'm cool, I'll wait. Not too cool to split on the fly, but not uncool to the point of waiting for an hour on this windy night. Nope, I'll give her another five, maybe ten minutes. But when she shows I'm gonna act all quiet, like slightly annoyed. That way she'll AGGGHHHHH IT'S HER SHE'S GETTING OFF THE BUS! PLAY IT COOL PLAY IT COOL LEAN AGAINST THAT FENCE! NO THAT'S DUMB LEAN FORWARD WITH YOUR HANDS IN YOUR POCKET PLAY IT COOL PLAY IT COOL

'Er, um... hi.'

The Manor

I don't know why he dragged me to this. I really don't. There I was in my room, happy to play Hellstorm and rack up some kills when Dad walks in my room (knock first, Dad!).

'Get dressed junior. We're going to a housewarming in the east end.'
'What?'
'Nice clothes, look sharp. Be ready by the front door in ten minutes or I'm dragging you out there.'

Dad closed the door. I groaned, threw my controller to the floor and found the best clothes I could within the pile on the floor. What a pain. We had to take a bus to the subway, take another bus from that subway stop and then walk several minutes down some street called Southwood. It was windy, some dumb kid brothers bumped into me and spilled popcorn all over the place, and these dress shoes were giving me blisters. Finally we got to the house and Dad rung the doorbell.

'Stand up straight junior. Look presentable.'

I rolled my eyes and waited. And waited. We stood outside for several minutes, Dad ringing the doorbell several more times (knock first, Dad!) with no result. It was a nice house, with a white porch that closed up everything within itself. At last somebody answered, looked Dad over and looked very disappointed. Without another word we were inside.
There were a lot of people in every room, none of them dressed as nicely as me or Dad. I spoke up to mention this but he shushed me. We wandered through the house, peeking into every room while the strangers within stopped talking at each intrusion. We entered the kitchen and there was Mom with another fella, looking happy and relaxed until she saw us.

'What... what are you doing here?'

Mom was not happy. I turned to leave the room but Dad's leg tripped me back into place.

'This is pathetic.'
'You're pathetic.'

And on it went. Venom turned to fangs, yelling to screaming, spit into tears. I don't know why he dragged me to this, I really don't.

Girls On Film

We were waiting in line outside an old movie theatre: my little brother, me and my parents. They'd wanted to come all the way across the city because one of their first ever dates was here. Dad repeated this story a few times during the drive as an excuse to kiss Mom, causing my little brother and I to grossly squeal.

As Mom and Dad bought the tickets a kiddo bumped into me and asked if I knew where East and something was. He seemed sad when I couldn't answer and sadder when Mom pulled me inside before I could say sorry. Dad bought us all popcorn but little brother whined because he wanted Smarties instead. Spoiled brat. The floors at the... I wanna say Badger Theatre? The floors were very slanted, which was fun. I was at the Ex again! It didn't have an arcade or flashing lights prizes though, just some boring black and white posters.

Mom got some wine and Dad got a beer and weirdly they wanted to sit behind us when we took our seats. 'We'll keep an eye on you!' Dad smiled while Mom giggled. So I was stuck next to little brother who wouldn't shut up about this new game everyone at school was playing. I pinched him many times and ate popcorn until the movie started.

It wasn't the same without surround sound or 3D glasses or those awesome vibrating seats, but it was still Bond on a big screen and it was great. Like the beginning where he's battling a goon hand to hand on a crane, while a bomb is dangling by a thread overtop a local school! Or that part where he fires a bullet through a keyhole, right into the hand of a bad guy who had a knife to the queen's throat!

Halfway through the movie my stomach hurt and I lost track of the plot. Bond was suddenly on a big beach, with bright blue water and paper white sand. He was there to meet a spy or steal some plans or something, and he approached a woman lying in the sand by the shore. She stood up to face him and her skin sparkled and shone golden brown under the bright sun. I felt warm and tingly inside, like nervous. Another close up of her, ending at chest level and the feeling doubled.

My face was on fire, I was blushing. I'd never felt anything like this before. My legs twitched slightly. Some bizarre energy flowed towards them, meeting in the middle. Bond put a hand on her shoulder, kissed her lips and I wished I was in his place. Little brother squealed like he did in the car. I stared at the screen, wanting to see more like a rabbit peeking down the hole.