The Tuesday Taste: Beaches Ribfest

 

I had a tension

I had a ten

I was a better, honey

so I did it again

Thought my intentions were better

Tried to put mind over matter

I lost my edge on things

when I lost my head

 

Another Tuesday, another Taste. While here at HQ this passing week was notable for very unpleasant reasons... hey at least now we've got an especially exciting review to jump into. 

While returning perhaps without this kind of hooplah, for the first time since 2019 the Beaches Ribfest at long last made its return. Despite an insanely busy weekend (and one at far less than 100 percent mentally) I knew I had to find some way to check out this local Ribfest for the Tuesday review. Also, since most of these BBQ purveyors travel around for several festivals all summer, technically that qualifies within my "minimum four location rule" for these weekly reviews (if anyone reading is as big a dork about that as I). 

Located in the spacious center of Woodbine Park, this Beaches festival of ribs and general BBQ goodness isn't as large or wild as some of the others that normally come through the GTA during the summer. The one at Centennial Park for instance used to feature twice the number of vendors and was attended by an even significantly higher multiple of people. 

Strangely enough, I've been to the Ribfest at Centennial Park more than this Beaches one, despite only living in Toronto's west end for a little over a year. It wasn't until 2019 I realized this one existed, and I can walk to Woodbine Park easily from my house. Regardless of my classic obliviousness, it was great to be able to check out something like this again after three tough years.        

Aside from the main attraction of the BBQ vendors (of which there were five at Woodbine), you also had a variety of other options and activities: various carnival games for the kids, non BBQ food options like a poutine truck or blooming onions, a slushie station, some local beer carts (I tried a tasty amber ale from Triple Bogey) and live music playing underneath the comically large gazebo. No doubt an event well formulated to keep people's attention enough to stick around longer (and potentially get hungry again). 

I certainly can get hungry again, so let us take a quick look at some of these food options I was able to try in the limited time I was able to attend. Starting with my first stop, pork ribs from Louisiana Bar-B-Que.

 

Not the sauciest ribs I've had, but we are off to a very strong start here. Rather than it being slathered all over, this tastes more like the BBQ sauce and rub has been added as needed while slowly cooked into it, allowing it to penetrate into the deeper parts of the meat. The exterior is a bit chewy (particularly near the end pieces) but inside... hoo baby. Juicy tenderness that (forgive an overused phrase) truly melts in the mouth. I didn't find these particularly fatty either, no gross gristly bits beyond some of the tougher cartilage that sticks or extends from the bone. Finally, the flavour: bit on the saltier side and with some curious tartness that was surprising but welcome. I'm not sure if this is a common element of Louisiana style BBQ (again I'm no ribs expert, what is this? Pizza?) but I enjoyed the unique subtlety of it. Definitely a damn tasty way to kick off this visit.

 

 

Next up, my bottomless stomach and I moved onto Big Hank's BBQ Shack, a Nashville inspired outfit. Wanting a break from ribs (and knowing there were many more in the near future) I instead went for their pulled pork sandwich, complete with a little side of mac n'cheese you see nestled behind it. One thing I do regret about my experience at Ribfest this year was not sampling many of the side dishes these vendors offered (this was in fact the only one). I'll blame my schedule constraints, which left me having to attend this alone both times I could go and impossibly just beating the clock for the second (I very nearly didn't get in, they were shutting early). Hopefully next year the timing works out better and I'm able to actually do this with other people... checking out a big fun food festival by yourself feels very awkward.

Onto the actual food you see above. Unlike ribs, mac n' cheese is a dish I actually eat more than once every few years and have made for myself from scratch, so I have a better frame of judgement here. This... was very solid: closer to a quality pub mac n' cheese than a fancy one you'd find in a hip dining restaurant. None of those rich, deep complex cheeses here... this is a straight up cheddar base that is somewhat less creamy than I prefer, and the flavour (while tasting of real cheese) is enjoyable enough but pretty basic. I do think at least it would go over significantly better than this sorry dish did with a famous chef. 

Mac n' cheese goes together with pulled pork undoubtedly brilliantly. I briefly once worked at a brunch restaurant as a busboy that served a grilled cheese sandwich with pulled pork and actual mac n' cheese inside, which was by far the most/only amazing thing about that job. How about this sandwich here? Well like its mac counterpart, it is very simple. No sauce, no additional toppings, and a very generic soft bun. But... when pulled pork is this good, any other additions can be mere frills. It certainly helps to be this fresh out of the cooker, as even the best prepared pulled pork will dry out in spots after sitting out a while. 

This sandwich is a real greasy ball, which certainly helps keep that moisture in, but the grease doesn't dominate the taste only the texture... and even then that gives way to pure unstoppable tenderness. There's a flavour beyond pork in there (probably a long slowly cooked in BBQ sauce) that adds a little something sweet. Would this be a better sandwich with say, some crispy onions and pickles or cucumber? Yeah for sure. That would make it ridiculously good, probably one of the best pork sandwiches I've ever had. As is, it doesn't need any of that either is all... the sign of some high quality stuff. 

 

    

   

Back to ribs. My next stop was Texas Jack's Famous BBQ Pit, which I'm sure is Kentucky inspired. *Cough* That's the joke. 

At this point, I was getting pretty full (no shit) so I only sampled a couple bones of these before packing them away and finally heading off. These were definitely to the level of sauciness I like ribs (I mean, they're a mess to eat anyway so why not just go all in) but the BBQ sauce... it's good but I was expecting something really mind-blowing I suppose. Still a far superior BBQ sauce to anything you'll find in a grocery store under six bucks... definitely a sweeter one (which I like) and it has a bit of lingering tang to it as well (unlike cheaper BBQ sauces that overwhelm with sugar and smoke). Some smokey sting here but a nice one that shakes your hand instead of crawling down your mouth. As for the ribs.. well there was so much damn sauce that it dominated everything (they did give me this option and I asked for it) but overall I'd say these were quite enjoyable. Even on the reheat a couple days later (which sadly meant much of the sauce was lost) they hadn't lost much in tenderness. Besides, they also win points for this little display:

Hopefully that is readable (zoom in!). Definitely a sweet touch.

 

        

Lastly, the final entry (and the one I was barely able to squeeze in at the very end of the festival): Oak and Barrel, which according to their banner are based out of British Columbia. At this point it is difficult to judge them completely fairly for multiple reasons: I ordered this about five minutes before everything shut down and security told us all to start leaving, and that's a damn long weekend of work for these cooks. Also, I wasn't exactly getting "sick of ribs" but definitely the excitement of eating them was lacking compared to before (my initial intention was to get a brisket sandwich from Oak and Barrel, but alas). 

Still, this was the weakest of the four stands I tried all weekend. Not bad at all, but these were definitely the toughest on the outside and by far the fattiest of the three racks I sampled (these oozed on my baking tray on the reheat) and my poor stomach was not feeling that. Positively, these were quite meaty and the BBQ sauce had more of a whiskey kick to it than the sweet or smokiness I'd become used to from the other places. Next time, Gadget... brisket sandwich. Next time.

----

Overall... this was a lot of fun and I'm glad I was able to check it out at all, even in a less than idealized manner. Those Louisiana ribs probably win the weekend amongst what I managed to try, just by that interesting seasoning and flavour... but truly everything here was anywhere from very decent to really damn good. Now that my fix is complete, I'm very done with ribs for at least several months.

 

Burnt Ends --- Pizza! I need to start reviewing some of those spots again. My list of places to check out is nearing fifty and my endeavoring has been lacking on this front for so long some of these places I added have closed since. Also, Spoon album ranking coming along. Hopefully done soon.      

 

BlogPieTo --- Hey, it was a very off week for my brain... so indulge me yet again on the food that consistently makes me happiest. 

As BlogTo will do some version of seemingly once every three months now, they published a "Best Pizza in Toronto" list. All right, I'll bite on it. Lets quickly go through who they've got in order, with where I have them ranked (in brackets) circa 2020:

 #1: Descendant (WCSt: #1) --- Good choice. You have to be a deep dish fan (or at least open to it) but disappointment is cosmically unlikely going here.

#2: Pizzeria Badiali (WCSt: unranked) --- I have tried them, just haven't reviewed them. They're exceptional, with a vodka sauce pizza that is unlike anything I've had before or since. I'll go again, write about it this time, and they'll at least make my Top Ten I'm certain.

#3: Revolver (WCSt: unranked) --- Damnit! Another one I tried (back in 2019) but also haven't written about. Revolver is pretty good, but a few notches below these two above. Again, will have to hit up Mimico and try them again. For now, they'd be in my 20-25 range. Great chili oil too.

#4: Fourth Man In The Fire (WCSt: #12) --- Really good and interesting take on a NYC slice. People might think #12 is low but I've tried over 105 places don't forget... anything in the Top 30 is gonna be good.

#5: One Night Only (WCSt: N/A) --- Haven't tried them, have heard nothing but great things. Will have to go do so very very soon (they're East End too so I have no excuse)

#6: Salt & Tobacco (WCSt: #18) --- Actually very surprised this ended up on the list. Thought they were more of a hidden gem. Really good place I found randomly in 2018, would go again but not often in Cabbagetown anymore.

#7: Levant (WCSt: N/A) --- One I know almost nothing about. Damn, I be slacking.

#8: Mark's Pizza (WCSt: N/A) --- Been meaning to check out Mark's for over a year. It's just so damn far (like east east Scarborough) and their hours are weird. It'll happen though.

#9: Conzo's (WCSt: unranked) --- Tried them a few times (a close friend lives close to there). They're very good and very interesting. I never thought pineapple and mushrooms would work together but they pulled it off. Easily Top 25 in town. 

 

Of BlogTo's list of nine... I've reviewed only three? Tried only six? I mean they have some seriously glaring omissions (Maker, Napoli Centrale, Defina, Oro Di Napoli, Blondies... well regarded new spots I haven't tried like Ambassador or Bello... and hell even Libretto still brings it) but still... I gotta step my pizza game back to something approaching previous levels. Maybe not the level of insanity where I tried like 70 places in four months... regardless though. Summer of Pizza? Lets make it happen.

You can read BlogTo's list here.... although mine (even a couple years out of date) is way better though.   

Tuesday Tune -- The 2000s Garage Rock revival is certainly a jam that I dig very much (that was 20 years ago? W....T...F...) and the album this song belongs to is one of the very best of that sweet, sweet energized and rocking period of time. These guys also just had/have? wonderful titles for songs. Check it out.

That's it for me this week! Hope this diversion into food has at least somewhat provided a reprieve from the twisted nightmare the world seems intent on becoming.. didn't talk about the latest bit of horrible news this week because I think most of us are all discouraged and disgusted enough about it already. What a positive ending! Sorry... but also just never think that gross shit can't happen here in Canada either. 

To quote a fictional professor defending against similarly Dark Arts... constant vigilance! Also, please take that at face value and not as an endorsement of that authour's current beliefs... or the fact that very character only used the phrase when portrayed by an evil imposter.... positive ending? Sigh. Anyhow, stay safe out there, stay healthy, enjoy the summer and don't spill that mustard.   

The Tuesday Taste: Jollibee

 

 

 

You've been counting weekends

Never getting dressed

Speaking in third person

and trying to forget 

 

Another Tuesday, another Taste! Bit of a woozy one this week... certainly not intended as such, but lets just say my first draft needed some tweaks thanks to... self-induced influences.

I'm fine now, as I re-write this at the last possible moment Tuesday morning. I mean... now my sentences actually make sense! My diction has direction! Well, more than usual. Anyhow, onto Jollibee and my quips on the bizarre trip away from there.

There was significant hooplah when Jollibee opened their first Toronto location a few years back. We're talking hour long lineups around the block. In North York! Maybe I've been in the east end too long, but all I know of North York is Mel Lastman, a historically pointless subway extension, the 401 highway and some weird theatre on Yonge that proudly showed the same hit show for two decades. If I'm missing anything, please do let me know.

Jollibee has certainly interested me since its notable landing... I mean a fast food joint that serves spaghetti of all things? That uniqueness is compelling enough. Alas, despite the additional openings of more GTA locations, here was my very first trip to this Filipino export boasting the extremely cheerful cartoon bee. A note on that bee: normally cartoonish mascots for gigantic corporations would be a target of my derision, not to mention I am extremely afraid of bees... but darn that fella is rather adorable. Like a pal Mickey Mouse would have a friendly beer with.

Some quick backstory (hey, I didn't get to do this with 2-4-1 last week): in the mid 1970s Tony Tan Caktiong (who is now worth over a billion dollars) opened an ice cream parlour in Quezon City. Supposedly, by customer request the parlour began offering sandwiches and hot items as well, which quickly became the far more popular menu choices. Within a few years, they'd focused on switching to fast food and eventually incorporated themselves... and a few years after that there were already a dozen locations throughout the Philippines and the franchise was blooming.

What is also notable about Jollibee was their ability to withstand/survive the arrival of behemoth McDonald's in the Philippines in the early 1980s, which it seems they did by offering a more Filipino cuisine styled menu. Now, Jollibee is itself a giant, with 1500-plus locations worldwide and plans of continuing expansion here in North America.

Which is where I come in. Realizing there was a location reasonably close to me at Golden Mile, I left with a clearer mind than I'd return with... away from my Beaches abode for a northern adventure to this very very popular Filipino export. 

This being my first time and all (popping my 'bee'? Sorry that sounded far dirtier than intended)... I wanted to sample everything they had to offer for this review. Unfortunately, this is a fast food chain with a lot of different stuff: fried chicken, chicken sandwiches, burgers, the before mentioned spaghetti, a Filipino pasta dish known as Palabok (it has garlic so I'm instantly intrigued), fries, mashed potatoes, desserts... even the mightiest appetite has limits, sadly.

I did the best I could, though I'm certainly intrigued for a potential second visit just to try the rest. Speaking of that desire to do such a thing, lets take a look at what I managed to order in my rapidly diminishing state this day. 

 

 

Starting with the Yumburger, an item that's a signature of Jollibee. Yeah... not off to a good start here. It's certainly superior via juiciness to any burger McDonald's or Burger King offers, and it has a different flavour than your typical blended beef of Wendy's or extra extra salt of Canada A&W... but there isn't a lot of patty here. I mean the photo above speaks for itself: why is it hiding? It genuinely took me half a minute to find the most appealing angle for that shot. 

There's also some sharp greasy aftertaste that I've experienced before in burgers and don't have pleasant memories of. The cheese is not your typical plastic processed fare at least, and there's something like a sweet tartar sauce as a sparingly used spread... so again this is definitely better than other burgers I've reviewed. I probably wouldn't ever order this again though... that overtly greasy taste is something I cannot tolerate in a burger. Swing and a miss for me.

 

 

It gets better quickly though. These mashed potatoes (my chosen side for the chicken) do my Irish taste buds a solid. I wasn't expecting much (fast food mashed? Who would) but if this actually was originally some kind of cheap powered instant potato mix... damn I'd be even more impressed. These mashed potatoes had genuine depth: I've cooked mashed before at home and in the texture (unless you purify them to hell) you'll always get those tiny thicker chunks of not quite blended potato, which these Jollibee mashed have. Also, there are streaks of potato skin in here (further lessening any powered potato mix theory) and they're red potatoes! 

Man, I was seriously having some questions after that burger... but this? I'm back in, baby! Also, the gravy moat you see is pretty good on its own. Not a heavy fatty gravy, it's very light and slightly sweet even... but these mashed potatoes were so surprisingly good I kept forgetting the gravy was there. Still was a real nice compliment when I remembered the presence. 

 

 

Something I never do, but a quick note on my beverage: the Pineapple Quencher. Very much like a watered down and filtered out smooth pineapple juice... basically a non carbonated soft drink, just not intensely sugary and it tastes like pineapple. Really damn good. While drinking it I kept imagining what type of alcohol would mix well with it, a sign of my deteriorating mind this day. I think rum was my conclusion (rum and pineapple match well, obviously) but rum isn't my jam. This pineapple drink though? Definitely. 

 

 

Gonna go straight for the dessert and save the chicken for last, because... it's my show. Duh. Regardless! I'm not a dessert guy whatsoever... I love ice cream and yet purchase it maybe once a year these days... and so this peach-mango pie (it's a strudel essentially) is lost on a tongue such as mine. It didn't exactly catch my attention... it is definitely full of its filling (that was weird to write) and there's an enjoyable sweetness to it. With a side of whipped cream, this would be divine... but on its own? To me anyway, it is just sort of 'a thing'. Entirely okay, which is only bad in that it's hard for me to write about and describe as a non dessert guy. It just needed more.

 

 

On to the main event: the fried chicken. As the lead photo gives away, I chose the spicy option over the regular, which is something I don't normally do. Again, my state of mind was rapidly falling into whichever cosmos would accept it. However, I don't regret that choice because their spicy option is incredibly interesting. The spice seems entirely in the seasoning (not in the batter, like Nashville style) and it gives some good heat. There's a nice sweetness to it as well... the closest resemblance would be those Sweet Chili Heat Doritos, except with less tang and the heat dialed up a few notches. I quite liked it: certainly different from the "doused in greasy hot sauce" approach of Popeye's or the "what's flavour?" mantra of KFC. Hell, even mentioning that last one in the company of Jollibee is a severe insult I did not intend.

For all their intriguing flavours, Jollibee certainly has flaws... and their fried chicken (while quite tasty) sadly falls into the same problems as their Yumburger. This thing is reeeeal oily... and I mean the chicken on the inside (not the fried exterior). Even a maniac like me can only take so many gobs of fat and gristle... and I've eaten sour cream-onion potato chips with sour cream a zillion times and plan to a zillion times more! 

The chicken is good, though underdone in spots... still tasting like the real thing and thankfully unlike a manufactured version intent on deception. Problem is that the grease within is absurd.

Overall! Hey, I liked more here than I didn't. The Yumburger was a strikeout, and the peach-mango pie didn't hit me in the right spot... but those mashed potatoes were astonishingly excellent, with a very understated but versatile gravy... and the fried chicken was pretty darn tasty despite the fattiness. Not that I'd rave about it, but I'd recommend Jollibee... if only just to try it for yourself. I regret not being able to/not hungry enough for the spaghetti, which writes itself as a future episode perhaps? Regardless, among big fast food chains this is a step above your generic trickery while seeming to genuinely offer various products worthy of your stomach.

 

Burnt Ends -- I finally wrote something! Well, I mean... recently. Check out my extended piece on the best dips for french fries right here.

Beyond that? Still working on the Spoon discography piece. Expect it s(p)oon..

 

This Week's Context Free Looney Tunes Image --  

 

 

Hogtown Broke --- Very unfortunate story developing here, it seems. Though as I've been fortunate to only experience unpaid wages once (and it was a horribly shitty job I only wasted my time on for a week), this stuff bugs the fuck out of me. The restaurant/bar industry isn't some oasis of easy money and minimal work as some people (lets call them I. M. Strawmin) like to assume. It takes a serious mental and physical toll on even the strongest of folks in the best of times... so when owners are sketchy about paying their hard working employees? Not cool, to say the least. I lamented Hogtown Smoke's demise from my area, but now? Obviously I'm unaware of the whole story, but paying your staff should be a top priority of any business, end of story.

 

Tuesday Sip --- We offer these at certain bars of one of my works (there are too many, I can't count that high) and so seeing them in the LCBO a while ago, thought it might be fun to review these new Corona seltzers!

 

 

It wasn't fun.

Okay... they're not horrible but boy are they not interesting. The lime cactus one has the closest thing to a distinctive flavour... light in sweetness and syrupy taste (rather like simple syrup) and there is some lime in the aftertaste. Meh... as a summer drink and cold? There is some appeal.

The raspberry one though... get lost. Where Jollibee found the right mix of pineapple and watered down drinkability, this Corona concoction tastes nothing more than fruit punch concentrate from a frozen can mixed with excessive H2O. It has a colour! ...is the most interesting thing about it. Again, it doesn't taste bad but it's just so unbelievably forgettable. Some people drink alcohol to forget I suppose... but that's not for me and frankly I like to not forget what I drink.

 

Tuesday Tune -- I can't get enough of this album. Seriously. They were already one of those bands I liked to proudly keep close to my chest... but this new record has made me a maniac. I bought this on CD fer-cryin-outloud. They're playing a gig at one of my works in late August (with Metric and Interpol, very fine bands in their own right) and I can't wait to be there (in one form or another). 

Anyhow, here's the title track of their latest album.

 

 

That's all for me! Until next time, hopefully my Monday brain catches up with the Tuesday one... but beyond that stay safe, stay well, stay together and definitely don't spill that mustard.

 

 

  

Tuesday Nibbles: French Fry Dips

 

 (photo via Umamigirl.com)

 

Trying Pizza Pizza french fries (I know, I know) a few weeks ago for the Tuesday review, a thought occurred to me: what are the best dips for french fries? As I dove into the potential options in that review, more and more possibilities kept popping up... to the point where I had to cut myself short lest what had initially been intended as a blurb end up dominating the entire review. 

Such a question always deserved its own article, surely. So here we go! Lets take a look at the choices.

 

Ketchup must be the most popular choice, and certainly without any doubt the most commonly available in the English speaking world. Every fast food joint is going to have it, either in packet form or those dispensers you have to press down on while positioning the little paper cup in the exact spot just below. Those are super fun: when I worked at Houston Bar and Grill (long departed) as a food runner, one of our responsibilities was to fill trays of ramekins with ketchup, mustard and mayo with those dispensers. Oddly satisfying to perfectly fill a little round cup. 

Personally... I'm not a ketchup guy. At least not in my adult life. As a dip or condiment it simply just overpowers anything it touches... and while I know many who like that blend of sugar sweetness with a tomato bite, it's not for me. As a dip for fries... they do compliment each other when the balance is right (or the fries are lacking and bland, which is when I grudgingly add ketchup).  

What of the other notable condiments? How do they match up with these tasty rectangles of potato?

 

 

How about mustard? Yeah, that's a weird one. There's an intense sharpness, especially with the spicier varieties, that doesn't mesh with potatoes for many people. Personally? It tastes odd, and the sting of genuine mustard doesn't really balance with a soft, fluffy potato... I just happen to love mustard so such that this pairing just marginalizes the fries as a vehicle for that taste.  

 

 

BBQ sauce? Definitely not. Maaaaybe if it's a sauce that's on the tangier side, with a good thick consistency... but even then why would you want to waste a good BBQ sauce just to dip fries? 

 

 

Any relish dippers out there? No? That's good... I'd hate having to consider any of you as severe sociopaths (kidding half kidding). 

 

 

Hot sauce? Well... results may vary on the severeness of the spice, or the thickness of the sauce. I'd suspect a more vinegary sauce (such as Tabasco or Frank's) wouldn't quite work as a dip... they're so thin that most attempts to dunk would just drip off and leave your fry watery and weird. A thicker sauce though? Very compelling.

Time for a story! One from the wayback machine even.... the very first time I ever tried sriracha sauce (the classic Huy Fong version). I was still a teenager, working at the Drake Hotel here in Toronto. I must've ordered some fries (the Drake had truly excellent fries) and, bored of ketchup, found a bottle of this strange squirt bottle in the fridge of the side cafe. So, I foolishly drizzled a very healthy amount of its vivid red contents onto my snack. Hoooo boy... lemme tell you. As a 34 year old in 2022, I like my hot sauces and am aware-ish of the range that is way too much for me. As a 19 year old in 2007, growing up with parents who are very adverse to extreme spice? This first taste of sriracha kicked... my... ass. I couldn't believe what was happening to my mouth, the sensation just kept building and building... for a moment I thought I'd accidentally drizzled poison on my food. 

Now? Love the stuff, put it on my eggs all the time. Still cooks my tongue a tiny bit, but nothing like that spring afternoon fifteen years ago.

 

 

Moving along, hummus is an option I personally find interesting. I was somewhat of a latecomer to the magical chickpea spread (we're talking early 20s here) but it's marvelous versatility (particularly as a pizza crust dip) quickly won me over. It is a great compliment to fried bread as is well known, but fried potatoes? Certain friends of mine initially called me insane (happens a lot) when I would use hummus as a dip for potato chips... which I still stand by goddamnit (especially kettle chips... that combo is mighty darn good). 

Hummus and french fries though... it doesn't work nearly as well because the density of hummus is best utilized when scooped (such as by a chip or pita bread) instead of dipped. Flavour-wise hummus and fries are okay (very heavy in starch and earthiness), it's just that the logistics of it make the pairing somewhat awkward. 

 

 

Speaking of pitas... how about tzatiki with french fries? Absolutely! It certainly works when they're paired and squished together in a gyro. Alone together? We're talking a creamy, garlicy dip with bits of cucumber goodness. Hard to imagine any fried food not pairing well with that.  

How about everyone's favourite nacho or over-priced hipster breakfast accessory... Guacamole! Obviously a good guacamole makes almost everything better, but with french fries it encounters the same problem hummus does: this delicious creation is thick and thus ideally scooped instead of dipped. Also, the corn chip has such an obvious marriage to guac... that specific crunchiness combined with such green earthy creaminess can be sublime. With a french fry, not only is that vehicle physically less ideal for the dip itself, but the dip is likely to overshadow instead of compliment. I'm sure it would taste quite good, just because it's an excuse to eat guacamole... but the fries would be an afterthought in such a scenario.

 

 

Moving along to another staple of nachos: salsa. And yes, I know that salsa is a very broad term that essentially just means "sauce" in Mexican Spanish... so don't point that out! Regardless, as a french fry dip it encounters the same issue as something like relish: too watery. I think the flavour combination would work quite well (tomato base, hint of spice and onion/pepper crunch), but all that delightful stuff would drip off before it ever reaches your mouth. If you had something like a potato wedge, now we're talking... except then you're scooping and not dipping (and none of that around here, mister!)

 

 

Finishing up on this nacho diversion, how about a cheese sauce? Yeah, this is definitely something in my ballpark. Some of you may know of Toby's Eatery on College Street here in Toronto (and as a TMBL Brewer I am contractually obligated to tell you to go check out Toby's! It honestly is a great pub). What you may not know is that Toby's used to be a small chain of restaurants throughout Toronto, with a white bull terrier as its mascot of sorts. The location I remember best used to be at Yonge and Bloor: they had a 99 cent burger (with other purchase) that was pretty darn alright considering the price, and it certainly agreed with my 17 year old wallet and stomach. 

What always stood out to me about that Toby's though was their cheese sauce: a perfect blend between overtly cheesy and offensively fake, gooey but not clingy, cheddary but also plenty creamy. I obsessed over this cheese sauce as a late teen, and any trip to that deceased Yonge and Bloor Toby's (RIP Yonge and Bloor in general) required any excuse to have that cheese dip. Incidentally, the closest approximation to this sauce I've ever had was my own creation... entirely by accident. During the lonelier days of pandemic lockdowns, I attempted to make a macaroni and cheese with a homemade bechamel from scratch. I was a little too heavy with the flour and stingy with the milk (following recipes precisely is for smarter people than I) but somehow I created this thick, bright orange cheddar sauce that tasted almost exactly like that long lost cheese dip side. There's almost a grainy texture to it... dots of cheese that didn't completely melt/merge with the cream. 

Let us jump into gravy, because we obviously have to. Not that I would recommend actually doing that... although you would smell quite appealing for a while afterwards I suppose. Gravy (of all designs) goes together with french fries pretty darn agreeably... so much so that I can't even devise a worthy analogy for it. Describing why exactly it works so well is difficult... gravy in a sense is just fatty meat drippings broth (not to slag mushroom gravy, which is also damn amazing) and the richness of it pairs well with a salted, crisp potato package. Of all places, I recall KFC once having very good gravy... it was thick, salt and peppery, plentiful and an excellent diversion from their very sub-par french fries.

Poutini's (do they even still exist?) when they first emerged on Queen West was certainly a gravy that opened my eyes a bit. Quite certain it was a mushroom one (they advertised it as vegan I believe). Gravy is certainly the type of compliment/condiment that fast food chains will consistently get wrong... or rather produce an extremely inferior version of for quick and mass consumption. For a dip that doesn't exactly cling to the fry, gravy works because the flavour of it is so distinctive and yet not dominating... a good gravy adds an extra layer of taste on top of the foundation. Exhibit A: poutine. The defense rests. 

 

 

Before the grand finale, I have to give a respectful shout to my true biggest weakness... a primary culprit in these doughier years of my mid 30s. Goddamn sour cream. I am a fiend for it, wherein I have and will sometimes plan my grocery visits around "what can I cook as an excuse to buy sour cream?". 

As a dip, sour cream is admittedly limited. On its own (depending which brand you get, I hate the Gay Lea cheap shit) the flavour is pretty one-dimensional. The creamy texture is the addicting part, to me anyways. Combined with a crunchy chip... that heavy creaminess with a slight tang is simply heaven. I've become very picky with sour cream... the lesser brands tend to be thin and aggressively sour, even a whiff of it turns me away. Western is the one I go for the most, though Beatrice is acceptable and Hewlitt's (while sometimes watery) is fine as well. Sealtest used to be my jam but a particularly moldy one lessened that love some time ago (plus I just don't see it often anymore). Personally, I'm rather glad I've become such a specific snob about it because otherwise... I could still go through half a litre of the stuff per week like I did at nineteen. Not doing that is for the best, I'd say.

French fries and sour cream are an uncommon combo, but it definitely works. Depending on the brand or percentage of fat, the thickness of the cream can be an obstacle for comfortable dipping. However, flavour-wise there's a reason sour cream is such a necessity with baked potatoes. Throw some green onions in there and what else do you want out of life? The logic with french fries is very similar.   

One final note on sour cream (I have to consciously stop myself with it, much like when I eat the stuff): does anyone remember the long lost Mel's diner in the Annex? It was where the relocated Victory Cafe is now. Mel's was a 24 hour diner-type spot that specialized in Montreal smoked meat (at least as well as a 24 hour place in the Annex could). They offered a poutine with said smoked meat, and while to be totally honest... their fries were pretty generic frozen fare and I'm not certain they actually used genuine cheese curds.... the damn thing was huge, cheap, and covered in smoked meat. It must've been 2008, I was biking home in the dawning hours after a crazy long TIFF shift at the Drake Hotel, and I ordered this very poutine to devour once I got home (the thought of it kept me going for that twelve hour shift of madness). Once I arrived at my mum's house, the sun peaking over the Rogers building on Jarvis from our balcony... the fries were ice cold but I didn't care because sour cream was the factor to elevate this post-work meal from an '8' to a '10'. I can still taste those bites, sitting in that long lost apartment gnawing on those long lost slices of smoked meat. 

 

 

Moving along, here's an oddball one: salad dressings as dip for fries. Caesar dressing, even in goopier iterations, certainly would be a strong candidate for a successful match. Fattening as all hell, but I can picture that salty, creamy sting complimenting a fry. I'm not much of a fan of ranch, but if that type of peppery sourness is your thing then likewise I can see that working. How about a blue cheese dip? Again, depending if that's where your taste buds are with such a pungent flavour (I greatly prefer blue cheese over ranch myself) but I'd say through my experiences ordering chicken wings in pubs that it definitely makes for a solid (though smelly) dip for fries.  

Time at last for the closer... which has to be mayo/aioli. Hope you all saw that coming. "Just" mayonnaise though is a broad definition and I'll agree generic Heinemann's mayo left on its lonesome is not a great dip for fries (or anything). There are deeper layers and modifications here that need to be elaborated upon. 

First off... a combination I discovered as a teen and will still stand by until the end of time: mayo and ketchup. Baby, it works. Mayo as a solo dip for fries is just thick and frankly gross, meanwhile ketchup grabs the steering wheel and drives the car straight into the sugar ocean... but together? The ketchup helps thin the eggy texture (you have to swirl them together a bit) while the mayo presence helps to cut down the assertive sweetness. I've learned you want more mayo than ketchup, something like 65/35, and then you get the best of both: a heavy creamy taste combined with a sharp sweet tomato-esque sting. Pretty good.

 

 

Now... mayonnaise is such a blank slate in culinary terms... so easily manipulated and changed by other additions... that we have to talk aiolis. Just so we are clear, "aioli" is really nothing more than a fancy word for mayonnaise, though better aiolis tend to really go wild and distinguish themselves. 

Another short tale for your enjoyment, dear reader! (and I do hope Anthony Rose himself isn't reading this, he would/should bonk me on the head). See, the Drake Hotel back in those late 2000s days I'm familiar with (when Chef Rose was in charge) had an aioli that would come with their french fries or various other shareables. Obviously it's been nearly a decade-plus since I tasted it, but I recall it being a smokey kind of creamy sauce... probably heavy on lemon and paprika. Anyhow, I being nineteen, picky and silly (as one does) would help myself to a portion of this aioli (it was on the FOH side of the pass, the food runners would be the ones scooping it into a ramekin), mix it with ketchup and use it to dip potato chips. It didn't quite work: the intense flavours tended to clash more often than not... while ketchup near any potato chip (that isn't ketchup flavoured) is clearly something I had to grow out of. 

Anthony Rose loved to (and I'm sure still does) mess with people in his down moments away from the kitchen. There was a very greasy Chinese restaurant a block away from the Drake in those days (we're talking mid 2000s) that offered something like a 16 oz burger for 5 dollars. It was so goddamn crusty and terrible even teenage me was smart enough to only try it that one time.... but I happened to be eating it in the alley behind the Drake and Chef Rose was on a smoke break. He asked me where I got that burger from, and upon hearing my honest answer asked "Oh, so what's wrong with the burgers here?" To which I had no response. 34 year old me could conjure a semi-competent joke how even with a discount they're too pricey and I'm just being a cheapo... but deer-in-the-headlights 2006 me? Hopeless. Thank goodness Chef Rose never caught me mixing goddamn ketchup into his (extremely smokey) Drake Hotel aioli. 

It's hard and probably also impossible to go example by example of great mayo-based french fry dips, because not only are the possibilities endless... it's a fool's errand to try objectively discussing such a thing. This would be akin to debating whether Greg Maddux had a better athletic career than Joe Sakic. I know where my predilections lay (Joe is a childhood favourite but pinpoint backdoor two seamers all day) but there is no "bad" answer because when comparing such high things the difference becomes a matter of personal taste and or choice for whichever reasons.

Regardless of if you prefer sweet, spicy, tart, assertive, garlicy (yes please) or any of the possibly infinite variations that can compose an excellent mayo-based dip for french fries... few other options approach the taste, texture and satisfaction of a good aioli as accompaniment. 

Anyhow, there are even more sauces I'm sure that could be explored in detail (pesto perhaps?) but this seems a good place to end. Hope this was a fun read! As for my personal favourite french fry dip... it won't come as any surprise to many but I'm a sucker for a good garlic aioli. I really should try making one some day. Until then! Cheers and happy fry dipping. 

      

         

  

                  

 

The Tuesday Taste: 2-4-1 Pizza

 

 

You've got to coax him slow

That's the only way

that he'll confess

Tell him that the truth

Will help him live with less

 

Another Tuesday, another Taste! Considering the frugal situation of the past week here in WCollier Street Land, this seemed an opportune time to finally try the thriftiest of the Canadian pizza chains... a brand so aware of its exact appeal their very name is a proclamation to that fact. 

Back in 2018 I was pretty hard on 2-4-1 (I gave them an 'F'!). Most of that poisonous sentiment was at the time based on a truly awful pepperoni slice I'd had from the Bloorcourt location several years earlier (I was starving and couldn't even eat half of it... and this is me we're talking about here). To be honest, I have pleasant memories of 2-4-1 pizza as a kid. There used to be a location on Dupont near St. George (right next to the old People's Food diner/Rose and Sons now) which was incredibly close to my dad's house and Huron elementary school. Once a month would be pizza night... we'd get a pizza each (a small I'm sure, although my appetite as a child is supposedly legendary) and I'm pretty sure it would usually be a pepperoni pie with pineapple (with my dad always adding parmesan to his, which I found gross at the time... damn kids eh). 

Later on in high school days, a friend and I would often joke about a pizza place called "3 for 1" (which actually existed). A mutual friend of ours even once proposed (we were poor teenagers drinking even poorer beer don't forget) that sometime we should order from a spot he knew called "4 for 1 Pizza", which I can only imagine serves a pie that doubles as a flotation device. 

Now, many years (and many pizzas) later, we're coming back for an honest review of 2-4-1. As I often like to, this is where I'd provide some backstory on the history of this franchise... except there is nearly nothing the internet can tell me about them. I am not kidding... aside from headquartering in Scarborough and opening in 1986... the rest of their "About Us" section just goes on about the incredibly high quality ingredients (yeah right) they use. Perhaps their origin story just isn't particularly remarkable? Now there's a joke that writes itself. 

Straight into this thrifty pizza (thriftza?). First off, it smells pretty good. I mean, it is pizza after all... a scent that objectively is on par with fresh laundry, a garden after a rainfall and cookies emerging from an oven. As a tribute to those pizzas my dad and I used to get, I decided on a three topping option with pepperoni, pineapple and bacon (no parmesan though).

Starting with the sauce.... yikes. It's absolutely dreadful. You know those Primo brand "pizza squeeze" bottles certain grocery stores have? Or Lunchables pizza? This is like that. The processed cheese slice of pizza sauce: liquidy, tastes closer to ketchup than tomatoes (there's no lingering sting to it at all), while the flavour is one dimensional, lacks aftertaste and is just unpleasant by how unreal it is. There is nothing fresh about this, no barest resemblance of in-house preparation or of real food here. Sure enough, as I was waiting for my pie I saw one of the cooks pour a big bag of this "tomato" sauce into one of their bins... and it came out as smoothly as a carton of skim milk. Appallingly bad stuff. 

Thankfully, the rest of the pizza does significantly better. It's a doughier type of pizza, which I might be more fond of than others, and while the bread of this pizza tastes fleeting and rather artificial (a running theme here) at least the end result texture-wise is positive. Likewise, the cheese is soft and very well balanced: not dense like a brick (*cough* Domino's *cough*) or flighty and flavourless like Pizza Pizza. This actually tastes like okay-ish mozzarella, doesn't completely dry out once the pie gets cold, and the coverage throughout is on point. Easily the best part of this. 

As for the toppings... they rose above my primary concern going into this: excessive greasiness. This is certainly oily in places, but again that soft mozzarella does a good job of not making this a "oil dripping off every slice" type of affair. Don't get me wrong, those type of pizzas can be delicious... I just wouldn't trust this particular pizza chain to pull that off successfully. 

The pepperoni is as generic as it gets... mediocre pepperyness and no nuance in taste or texture. It's a paint by numbers affair, though slightly crispy on the edges and soft in the cups (at least it's something). The bacon is bacon crumble, so meh. The pineapple though... extremely weird, like you can taste the can in some of those bits. They're semi-stiff and rubbery in some bites also... if you're a militant "no pineapple on pizza" type of person, this particular example would make for good ammunition. 

Overall! It's not a good pizza and I cannot recommend it... unless you find yourself like I was this weekend with about fifteen bucks left in the bank account. To be fair, this was better than I expected 2-4-1 to be. Aside from the horrible sauce the rest of this was entirely acceptable as food (though I was suspiciously still hungry even after wolfing down this whole thing). It's definitely better than Pizza Pizza because it actually has flavour, and I might even take it pound for pound over Domino's as well (though Domino's wins if they're both fresh). For a grade, this is probably between a 'C--' or a 'D++' on my pizza scale. It ain't great, doubt I go back anytime soon... but I've had worse and the nostalgia will always be fun. 

As for next week, I swear I'll review something better and more interesting. Such is long overdue. 

 

Burnt Ends -- Feels odd to toot my own horn as it were (though that's what this weekly section of the review is, I suppose), but I was intrigued by last week's bit about fry dips so much that I'm angling to write an entire piece about all the various options/possibilities for dipping fries. Stay tuned for that! Otherwise, the usual projects are progressing at the usual speeds.

 

Double Double Spy And Trouble -- In a story that doesn't seem to be getting nearly any attention at all, it seems Canada's favourite coffee chain has been up to some pretty shady doings. I mean hell, that link I just shared is an article from an American newspaper. I haven't seen CBC or any of our local news outlets report on this. Whatever, I don't drink coffee and I've already reviewed Tim's food (it kinda sucks). 

 

This Week's No Context Looney Tunes Image -- 

 

   

Tuesday Tune -- I wouldn't call them Canada's greatest band, but they sure as hell have to be Canada's most iconic one. I'll never forget their last ever concert: I was playing baseball that day and afterwards every car in the parking lot near the field had the radio broadcasting that concert while we all drank beers together. A wonderful moment and night nestled fondly in my memory. 

Here's a tune from their excellent 1992 record Fully Completely.

 

  

That's it for this thrifty edition of the TT! After the past couple weeks of bland chicken sandwiches and bargain shelf pizza pie, next week will definitely be something to reawaken the dormant palette. Until then, be safe, be well, enjoy the emerging summer and don't spill that mustard.  

 

            

The Tuesday Taste: Pizza Pizza Chicken Sandwich (w. Fries)

 

 

I was a heartbeat on the danger side

Just had to see

what it all was like

Put your nose in that

oh yeah

Although you try to sidestep

Merchants of soul don't let  

 

Another Tuesday, another Taste! In what was an extremely discouraging week here in Ontario, what with the majority of eligible voters clearly not giving two shits about anything... we've still got a weekly food review here to warm the spirits and, dare I say... perhaps bring a little joy and positivity to our jaded hearts. This week, we've got...

...Pizza Pizza???? Oh gawd! Life is just a cruel f-king joke isn't it????

Okay okay, enough with the doom for now. There will be plenty of time for that (about four more years I estimate). Fortunately, I'm not reviewing an actual pizza from Cardboard Inc-I mean... Pizza Pizza. Instead, this is a somewhat new item of theirs: a fried chicken sandwich. Surely such a classically delicious item such as this couldn't be catastrophically bungled in even the most incompetent hands, right? Right?

Pizza Pizza first originated here in Toronto, Ontario in 1967... which you may note is the last time the cursed Toronto Maple Leafs won a Stanley Cup. Coincidence? The original location is actually just a few blocks east from where I went to high school: Wellesley Avenue just off of Parliament Street. There is also a gigantic graveyard just north of there. Coincidence??? Okay I'll stop.

While among my fellow Toronto dwellers it seems like there's a Pizza Pizza at every damn turn of this city, this is not exactly the case for the rest of Canada. Indeed, in my brief time living in Montreal in the late 2000s, I recall seeing just one Pizza Pizza (right on Sherbrooke near the touristy part of town, definitely not a coincidence). Meanwhile in Western Canada, the company's 2007 acquisition of Pizza 73 (an Alberta chain) and their 80+ locations is by far their strongest foothold in that part of the country. Searching for actual Pizza Pizzas (geez that's a ridiculous thing to write) on their website results in hardly a dozen locations in BC and just three in Alberta. The Maritimes is also a region of lessening success for the brand: zero locations in Prince Edward Island or Newfoundland, two in New Brunswick and five in Nova Scotia. While Quebec and Manitoba do seem to have a few dozen outposts respectively... like the Ford family Pizza Pizza seems to very much be an Ontario thing. Hooooooray for us. 

Still... as bad as they might be... that comparison is somewhat unfair... to Pizza Pizza of course. And while I'd have to be desert island levels of hungry to actually want to eat their title dish, this time we're going in fresh clean slate to try this chicken and fries offering. So... on my first day off in ten... I wandered out into the rain, up a hill, then back down the hill... then up the same hill again (I'd forgotten my money) to the local Pizza Pizza spot on Kingston Road.

Starting off with these fries... now I'm sure at some point in my life I've had Pizza Pizza fries before. I mean, come on... there are so many situations where this could've happened that I simply just don't recall. A friend's party! Late night drunk food! High school lunchtime adventure! Whatever or whenever that was, I had an idea of what they were which proved to be completely incorrect. It's entirely possible they'd changed something up during the potentially several years since I tried them, but I was expecting fairly generic frozen-quality pub fries, likely overcooked and heavy with the seasoning salt. 

Instead, and as the photo shows, these are fairly thin... shoestring style almost... and cooked fairly consistently throughout. Their greatest attribute is their crispiness: not overtly oily (or gross) like McDonald's, but a similar light satisfying texture to each fry. Weird to say it, but these were surprisingly good! Well, maybe 'good' is a bit much. Decent, for sure... at least on texture. 

As for flavour... this is where it all falls apart. I appreciate that these fries don't have that caked in grease taste of McDonald's, or that awful artificial staleness of KFC. Problem is, these don't taste like a whole lot in either direction. They're criminally under-seasoned, there's a vague hint of potato mixed with almost lard (probably the fryer) and even that is a quickly fleeting sensation. Enjoyable enough when fresh, crispy and sizzling from a fryer (and if you're insanely hungry) but once these go cold and stiffen up a bit... it becomes a problem. A good attempt at least...  enjoyable in a one-dimensional way. 

Onto the very thing that caught my eye enough to make this review... the chicken sandwich. Pizza Pizza offers a few "different" ones: a creamy garlic one (in my photo above), an "original" one and then a spicy sriracha option. Each is the exact same price and it doesn't take any kind of keen perceptive eye to figure out the only variation between these is the particular sauce each sandwich is slathered with. 

If this had indeed been 'slathered' with the legendary Pizza Pizza garlic dip, that would've been a decadent positive. Alas... while here that is the very same sauce, it is barely noticeable on this thing. Much like when you make a grilled cheese sandwich with a mayo spread (don't ask me how I know), the sauce tends to lose its thick cohesiveness on the grill and thus its presence is greatly diminished. A shame, because this chicken desperately needs something to distract you from how uninteresting it is. Not something you can say about fried chicken very often, yet here we are. This is like "somebody running out the clock at a job they hate" level of uninteresting (again, don't ask me how I know). 

I get this isn't a "spicy" chicken sandwich, but even so can we at least get a little bit of something in this thing? Some pepper? Herbs or subtle spices baked into the batter? Beyond mere crunch the chicken in this chicken sandwich is just so unbelievably bland. It has that taste of cheap chicken fingers you overpay for at a concert venue: it does the job when you're drunk, hungry and in awe of an awesome show... but even then you still need all that precious plum sauce. This sandwich is exactly like that, except the chicken is in circular form and two buns of bread are there to absorb any sauce or moisture you're hoping will save you. At least the buns are okay... bready and soft. 

This very, very mediocre quality of fried chicken could be salvaged by better complimentary toppings, such as more sauce... (duh) or just having secondary toppings at all. There are sliced pickles on here, but they're so thin, tiny and minimal that you taste their presence for two bites (the best two bites of the sandwich, also not a coincidence). Considering Pizza Pizza is, you know, a pizza place... I'm a bit surprised there isn't any cheese on here. Sure, their pizza cheese is extremely goddamn awful but I figure they have plenty of it laying around... a bit of it melted on here would at least add some extra layer of taste between the disinterested crunchy fried chicken and the faint taste of oozing garlic dip. 

Overall... a hard no on this chicken sandwich. I wasn't expecting much, but this is exactly how to not get people to ever try this a second time. There's just no flavour here whatsoever... hell I ate this thing three hours ago as I type this and I'm seriously struggling to describe anything notable about the taste beyond simple blandness. The fries likewise were lacking in the taste department, but at least as a simpler side item when all you've got to offer is texture you can get away with it. Seeing as their "spicy" chicken option is almost certainly the same chicken with just a spicy mayo oozing out instead... I think we can call Pizza Pizza's foray into fried chicken sandwiches a very forgettable failure. 

 

Burnt Ends -- I am finally forever done with this. Normally I don't like to swear in my writing, honestly. This show did things to me. Bad, bad things. Without exaggeration, one of the dumbest, most insulting and worst things I've ever watched.

If you missed it, last week was the 50th Tuesday review! We took a look at Wendy's new breakfast menu, it was interesting.

I've got something else cooking in the works, more on that when we get to the tune of the week. 

 

This Week's No Context Looney Tunes Image -- 

 

 

Philip J. Fry -- Trying out fries this week, the thought occurred to me: what is the best dip for french fries? Lets briefly explore the common options:

Ketchup surely must be the most popular choice, and without any doubt the most commonly available in English speaking communities. Every fast food joint is going to have it, either in packet form or those dispensers you have to press down on while positioning the little paper cup in the exact spot just below. 

Personally... I'm not a ketchup guy. At least not in my adult life. As a dip or condiment it simply just overpowers anything you add it to... and while I know many who like that blend of sugar sweetness with a tomato bite... it's never my first choice. As a dip for fries though... again not my first choice but they do compliment each other when the balance is right (and/or the fries are lacking).  

But what of the other notable condiments? How do they match up with these tasty rectangles of potato?

How about mustard? Yeah, that's a weird one. There's an intense sharpness, especially with the spicier varieties, that doesn't mesh with potatoes for many people. Personally? It tastes odd, and the sting of genuine mustard doesn't really balance with a soft, fluffy potato... I just happen to love mustard so such that this pairing just marginalizes the fries as a vehicle for that taste.  

BBQ sauce? Definitely not. Maaaaybe one that's on the tangier side, with a good thick consistency... but even then why would you want to waste a good BBQ sauce just to dip fries? 

Any relish dippers out there? No? That's good... I'd hate to consider any of you as severe sociopaths (kidding half kidding). 

Hot sauce? Well... results may vary on the severeness of the spice, or the consistency. I'd suspect a very vinegary sauce (such as Tabasco or Frank's) wouldn't quite work as a dip... they're so thin that most attempts to dunk would just drip off and leave your fry watery and weird. A thicker sauce though? Very compelling.

Time for a story! It's a good one... the very first time I ever tried sriracha sauce (the classic Huy Fong version). I was still a teenager and working at the Drake Hotel here in Toronto... I must've ordered some fries (the Drake had truly excellent fries) and, bored of ketchup, found a bottle of this strange squirt bottle in the fridge of the side cafe. So I drizzled a very healthy amount onto my snack. Hoooo boy... lemme tell you. As a 34 year old in 2022, I like my hot sauces and am aware-ish of the range that is way too much for me. As a 19 year old in 2007, growing up with parents who when cooking are very adverse to extreme spice? This first taste of sriracha kicked... my... ass. I couldn't believe what was happening to my mouth, the sensation just kept building and building... for a moment I thought I'd accidentally drizzled poison on my food. 

Now? Love the stuff, put it on my eggs all the time. Still kicks my tongue a tiny bit, but nothing like that spring afternoon fifteen years ago.

There are a bunch of other popular options I could explore further, but this article is already going long so I'll save all that for another time... plus the revelation of my personal favourite french fry dip.   

Tuesday Sip --  If you enjoy an occasional (or more than occasional) beverage such as I do, you've likely noticed the increased presence of seltzer options at your local liquor shop the past couple summers. A new name on the scene this summer, at least here in Toronto, is the Truly brand. Doing a bit of research (in my typically laz--I mean extensive fashion) they appear to be a US import from Los Angeles (they have a branded bar down there)... similar to the hooplah when White Claw first came to Canada a couple years back (people were lining up for that stuff, which seems insane to me).

From what I've seen (again, extensive research) Truly is only offering two of their flavours here in T.O: peach tea and a strawberry lemonade. So lets try em out:

 

 

Strawberry Lemonade: I've had this one before recently, with a particular friend who very much has particular tastes in alcohol (he was a stout and scotch fella when we were younger). Two sips in and he was done with this, the sweetness too much for him. Myself... this is the kind of sweetness I prefer. Less sugary and more something trying to emulate actual natural fruit (I'm sure the ingredients they use to do this are less preferable). The smell is quite fresh, like a bush after a rain storm, and while there is a sugary layer that collects in the back of the mouth... this doesn't seem all that different than what a traditional lemonade would do. There isn't that aggressive bubbling feel you find in many other seltzers either. I quite like this, thumbs up.

Peach Tea: Peachy smell, which is definitely something in the favour of both these beverages: very natural and fruity scents. The flavour reminds me much more of a tea than a peach juice: a bit thin, flatter than one would expect from this kind of drink, and a leafy aftertaste that rests on the tongue. Like the strawberry lemonade, this doesn't have a lot of pop to it (both in texture and flavour), going for a more understated taste that's smooth instead of one that asserts itself. Maybe it's from having these after eating the absolute most bland and boring chicken sandwich ever, but both of these were quite subtle and refreshing. Nicely done. 

                    

Mock Tudor -- Noticed that Richard Thompson's debut album recently turned 50 years old, and so had to devote one of these bits to pay respect to one of the greats. While I've never heard a single second of that record (Henry The Human Fly), I do very much love many of his later albums... not to mention seeing him with my dear dad back in 2003(?) out at Exhibition Place is surely one of my fondest early concert memories. 

This quick article from Allmusic's Daniel de Vise gives a solid rundown of his career and some selected RT albums... while this extended work from my dad tackles every record in the artist's rich and long catalogue. If you're unfamiliar with RT... get familiar! 

 

Tuesday Tune -- Speaking of discography reviews, I'm doing one for this band! They're so damn consistently awesome, as is this song (which I've probably heard 300 times).

 

 

That's it for me. Until next time (with something hopefully less bland to review food-wise)... stay safe, stay vigilant, stay kind and don't spill that mustard.