You can put your clothes back on
she's leaving you
No time to apologize
for the things you do
Go rent a Ferrari
and sing the blues
Believe that Clapton was the second coming
Another Tuesday... (I mean Wednesday, whoops)... another Taste! After a brief diversion back into smash burgers and a sit-down restaurant experience, we're coming back with more fried chicken from a little Ontario chain called Kajun Chicken and Seafood.
Despite having 70,000+ Instagram followers (!) Kajun is a place I'd never even heard of before I noticed their new-ish location in Riverside here in Toronto while riding a streetcar to work. Their website provides next to nothing as far as backstory or information goes... all I can glean is that their headquarters are probably in Thornhill? I can say definitively that they have eight locations open as I write this piece, with four more said to open soon to complete a non-baker's dozen. These outposts are fairly spread out: Orillia, Hamilton, Waterloo, Oshawa... even the Toronto ones are as far apart as possible (Queen East, North York and east Scarborough).
So! Not much backstory this time (please save your applause), rather we're diving right in pretty early. It was a very cold January evening and, seeing as the name of the place boasts of their chicken and seafood... I had to sample both. What you see above is what they called a super combo thing? Two pieces of fried chicken, two fish tender things, a biscuit and two sides (I went with fries and coleslaw, nice and simple). This all came in around 18 bucks... not bad considering the variety and amount of food.
Here's your biscuit and... yeah this is pretty rough stuff. Not a good start. Say what you will about Popeye's (seems they've really declined in recent years) but they make decent biscuits... there's an irresistible butteryness in there that makes them somewhat tasty even when there's also a dry chalkiness to the texture.(Church's Chicken make really good ones, for the record).
These Kajun ones? A bit of a honey glaze in the taste, but beyond that... you get all those bad dry chalk-like aspects without that butter flavour you need to make this work. I barely even wanted to finish this thing... the bread caked at the roof of my mouth on every bite and all I could taste was bland chalk bread... genuinely bad.
We're off to a very weak first impression, and sadly these fries are not going to boost the experience. Unlike that dreadful biscuit, these are merely 'whatever' as far as fries go. Good seasoning (like a sweet salt and pepper) and they are soft inside... however the dominant taste is like old frying oil and that flavour (for what it is) really fades very quickly, as generic frozen fries tend to do. At least there's some effort to give these some zing, and they are enjoyably crispy. Alas a generic frozen french fry is always going to be just that and it's hard to overcome.
Can anything save this? How about coleslaw? Answer: nope.
Hey... again the level of quality is really just so generic and predictable. Spoilers, but you've eaten food like this a zillion times before. None of this stands out or is exceptional remotely in any way. This coleslaw is a prime example of that... I can't say it's amazing because you can find this exact thing at this exact same level of quality almost anywhere... but because it's a creamier slaw (my usual preference) I liked it a bit more than it probably deserves. It pairs nicely with the fish tenders, which speaking of...
This is legitimately the only somewhat interesting thing I sampled here. A nice layer of breading, the fish is tender and nicely flaky with plenty of subtle fishy flavour (imagine a higher end frozen fish fillet from the supermarket), while a nice little hint of pepper gives it some extra dimension. Not greasy or oily either... a bit floppy (it'll collapse! A third of this portion fell onto the gross streetcar floor an instant after this photo) but generally an enjoyable fried fish portion. Would make for a great taco actually... hmmmm...
Who doesn't like a taco picture? Sociopaths, that's who...
Time for the fried chicken! The main event!
Look... fried chicken is delightful by it's very nature. Crunchy and breaded, juicy and tender... the baseline is high enough that it's difficult to be totally disappointed. KFC does (it's been years since I tried the infamous Double Down but that dry ass stale bird still haunts me) but for the most part you're playing with house money. It's hard to screw this up.
Kajun doesn't screw it up, but man. This is so bland and boring... there is nothing to this at all. I ordered the spicy one too! Nothing resembling seasoning, or marinated taste, or herbs within the breading... this is a dictionary photo of what fried chicken looks like and it makes absolutely zero effort to rise above that.
You can be a significant disappointment while still being just okay. Look... your restaurant is freaking called "Kajun" (an obvious play on Cajun food), the only thing your website describes at all about yourself is a love for Louisiana cuisine... and yet this is such a painfully meh fried chicken with absolutely nothing memorable about it. While I don't think "cajun" when I think fried chicken (more seafood boils) where are any of those cajun spices or flair? There is no spice whatsoever (and again this was the "spicy" offering) no earthy flavours or any hints of onions or pepper... nothing stands out about this whatsoever beyond "fried chicken be fried chicken".
The chicken itself is juicy, the breading is quite crispy and peels off quite nicely. Nothing stale or chewy or overly fried. Texture is not the problem here, they do nail that part. It's the complete lack of flavour imagination, or seasonings, or spice (seriously... they give packets of hot sauce and a pre-packaged honey mustard... nothing made in house) that simply makes this a seriously forgettable showing here on the weekly review.
Overall. It can't all be Pianos and Rosie's and Birdies... we were due for a let down and Kajun Chicken and Seafood sure as hell is one. Been a while since I experienced a meal so easily forgettable as this was... at least Tim Horton's pizza was interestingly bland, or Taco Bell had some genuine cheap nostalgia. This? What is the point. And what's most frustrating is how some small changes could've made this actually pretty good.
But it isn't. I strongly do not recommend Kajun at all. It's so precisely just slightly below average to be actually frustrating. They are cheap, I'll give them that... but now I think I see why.
Checking their Instagram again (70,000 followers! How?) I think I'm going to invent a new rule: if you're curious about a restaurant you've discovered on a site like IG or whatever... unless they're showing actual photos of their items on a real table or in their kitchen, rather than a sleek shiny graphic... be suspicious! Legitimately great food spots will happily share pictures of the actual items they make and are selling... designed visual trickery to boost a promotion? Bad sign.
Want proof? Look up PG Cluck's IG and compare it with Kajun (who somehow have 5x more followers... wtf). Or Chica's, or any smaller burger joint that isn't McD's or BK. You get actual photos of actual food!
Yep, making this a new rule and I'm christening it, because this was such a lame let down... the Kajun Rule. Let it be known! If a restaurant only shows graphic design images of their food, and the not real made-to-order stuff... odds are extremely high they are gonna be meh at best. Which is what Kajun is... meh at best.
Apologizes to the very nice dude behind the counter, who seemed youthfully confused by the very menu above him... but his kindness did not go unnoticed.
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Playing Chicken
Since we're talking chicken this week, here's a video from one of my favourite food related YouTube channels wherein Andrew Rea (in his own comedic way) walks through nearly every method of screwing up cooking a chicken breast. I most certainly cannot say no animals were harmed in the eventual making of this video (though no chicken was wasted)
Tuesday Wednesday Tune
Had this song stuck in my head for the past week, so now it's your turn suckers!
Funny enough, had I posted this review on time/the usual Tuesday schedule, it would've been this artist's birthday. Didn't plan it that way but would've been a heck of a coincidence...
That's all for this week! We'll have something tastier on The Taste next time... ideally. Until then, stay safe, stay warm and most of all don't spill that mustard.
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