Mars for the privileged
Earth for the poor
Mars terraforming slowly
Earth has been deformed
Just forget it, ya ain't coming here
the ticket's too dear
Another Tuesday, another Taste! Apologizes for missing last week, my sleep schedule got all messed up and I just never was able to go out and try a place for the purpose of a review. To make up for that, this week you're getting two Tuesday reviews! Oh my Godddddd!!!
Meanwhile, lets talk about Mr. Sub, a fallen dynasty of sorts here in Toronto and probably Canada in general. Way back centuries ago, the late 90s/early 2000s, Mr. Sub was enough of a franchise presence to have giveaways at Blue Jays games. My dear dad, who did scorekeeping in the pressbox back then, would bring back an occasional flimsy token mini bag with Mr. Sub in gigantic letters across the side. I'm sure I brought it to school in Grade 4 once and was ridiculed. Kids those days.
There used to be a Mr. Sub (now waaay long gone) near Bay and Davenport. It was there when I was going to Jesse Ketchum for junior high. Mr. Sub was cheap... I was 12 and often buying single doughnuts en route to Jesse with dimes and nickels... so a five dollar pizza sub was heaven to me, even just salami, sauce and cheese. Few food moments in my life have been so completely innocent and forever satisfying as those pizza subs.
If I went back in time, to that exact location in 2000 and reviewed it now... come on. There's no way I'd regard it remotely as highly. Same as the Mr. Sub location (now gone) I used to frequent during my days working at the Drake Hotel. My (overly nostalgic) point is that Mr. Sub used to be everywhere: hell I remember a location at Gloucester and Yonge that became a Money Mart about 25 years ago. How has this franchise faded so abruptly?
Oh, right. Subway. Despite having a weight losing pedophile as their spokesman for way too long, the rise of Subway here in Toronto seemed to tank Mr. Sub in the late 2000s. Now, you can't walk through any major neighbourhood anywhere without seeing a f**king Subway. And yeah, I mean that with maximum intention. I've reviewed them before. Subway is to a sub sandwich what a missile is to an actual submarine. The rare occasions I've tried them, their microwaved stale bread consistently disgusts me so much I never want to intake sustenance again.
Oh yeah, right. The actual review. Well... Mr. Sub ain't great... but it at least tastes like a real sandwich. There isn't anything notably wrong with it, just that it dwells within its own mediocrity. The bread at least tastes like bread (unlike Subway) and even this whole wheat choice has enough real texture to not question what you are consuming. The turkey meat tastes like typical cheap sliced turkey meat, the kind you'd get at a Rabba's... but provides somewhat enough flaky tenderness and saltiness to resemble the real thing. The sauces do what they do (in my case honey mustard, sub sauce and chipotle mayo). That bland Mr. Sub blanket processed cheese is a guilty pleasure of mine... with it's stubborn inability to melt, have flavour or just do anything beyond yell "I am cheese!". It's my version of processed American cheese slices, though I certainly wouldn't subject myself to this 64 times.
Look... you go into a Mr. Sub and I think you get exactly what you expect. But I mean that in a good way: the vegetables are fresh enough, the sauces decent, and they don't microwave their bread for the love-of-god. Would I recommend it? No. But it's fine.
Mr. Sub (if you can find one) isn't gonna blow your mind but it is still far superior to Subway and the stale, processed awfulness they serve people. Maybe I'm on an island here, but Mr. Sub is at least competent with their very average product. Compared against absolute dumpster refuse, this is a lament more than an endorsement.
Burnt Ends Part 1: I dunno... go check out part two!
Joey Still Bangs: He does.
The Old Snail In The Soda Trick: Actually this article is quite interesting, documenting a woman who found a decaying shelled fella in her ginger beer and became horribly sick by it... eventually taking legal action in an era where that kind of thing was unheard of (I've never understood the romanticism associated with the 20s...)
Tuesday Tune: Look, I love the idea of space travel... developing the technology to a level where we can all safely explore the cosmos and perhaps even other worlds. Stephen Hawking (I believe) even once said the only way human civilization will survive is by expanding to other planets. So lemme just say... it's sorta kinda maybe cool that uber-rich dudes like Bezos, Musk and Branson are going to space... but come on guys aren't there better things you can spend this money on here on Earth? I don't find this even slightly inspiring, which seems to be their public angle with it. Hey Bezos, pay your workers a proper living wage first and then talk about "this was for everyone at Amazon".
Anyway, this song seems rather on point.
That's not all for me! Check out part two coming soon, dear friends. Don't spill the mustard on the way though.
No comments:
Post a Comment