And when your hand is on your heart
You're nearly a good laugh
Almost a joker
With your head down in the pig bin
Saying, "Keep on digging"
Like an uninvited guest long overstaying, the never ending nightmare of these modern times keeps on chugging, now with the seriously escalating conflict between Israel and Palestine. This is a way too complicated topic to even approach on a bloody food article, but in some way I have to comment how the damage and casualty count sure seems to be awful goddamn one-sided doesn't it. John over here explains it better than I can.
Hey, there's still food to review. Woooo! Something I'm actually qualified to do! Sigh. Anyways if you're somehow still with me, this week I went off and tried Osmow's for the first time.
I'd never even heard of them until about a year ago, seeing the commercials with a certain Toronto Raptor or two (I'd love to try one of those "shemarmas"). I still miss Norm, go Blazers. The Osmow's story began (according to a framed poster I read in their Danforth/Dawes Road location) when Sam Osmow (an Egyptian immigrant) was running a struggling submarine sandwich shop in Streetsville. So the legend goes, one day Osmow made himself a middle eastern lunch that smelled so good, a customer requested one instead of a sub sandwich. Shortly afterwards he rebranded the restaurant towards such cuisine in 2001, and thanks to food festivals (remember those) and free samples they built up a following. Now in 2021, there are over 85 locations.
It's a nice story, but does the food taste as nice? I ordered the lamb "On The Stix" (french fries), wandered off to Ted Reeve park and gave it a try.
At first it was a bit overwhelming: there is a lot going on with all these spices and sauces. The garlicy sauce is the most notable and probably their most famous addition (this location advertises selling it in bottles), and to me the thin creamy sweetness of it reminds me of a donair sauce. The Halifax donair was in fact invented by a fellow who immigrated to Nova Scotia from Greece, which of course is directly across the Mediterranean Sea from Egypt. Geography lesson! The other dominant sauce tastes more like a finely blended red pepper paste, which not only adds some colour but an earthy pinch of heat also.
The dish is heavily seasoned, giving much of every bite a peppery, chili flake or herb (rosemary?) sensation. It carefully toes that line between just right and overkill (my La Sala review). As for the main attraction, the lamb, I was pleased to see it cooked on a griddle to order and the results show. The texture is quite nice, juicy and tender, and the amount is plentiful. Usually for these reviews I'll order the bigger size but here the medium was plenty large enough. It's quite tasty, with that nice fatty peppery taste I greatly enjoy with lamb, yet is not at all greasy. The onions that are sauteed along with it are minimal but just enough of a presence to add a hint of that classic fried onion sweetness. I'm quite impressed.
One thing I find with items like this, such as chili cheese fries, poutine etc, is that seeking out and eating the fries first is a good strategy. I mean, fries with some toppings. French fries are just no fun once they get cold, with occasional exceptions, plus if you have a ton of toppings left but are full... save it for a sandwich! (damn I'm far too thrifty sometimes... times are tough, man).
They can't all be winners, though, and the biggest weakness by far here are the fries. Er, I mean "Stix". Given the choice between Stix or "Rocks" (rice) I only went for fries because, well.. reviewing what rice tastes like seems a bit too obsessive on detail even for me. The fries aren't bad, just your standard generic (definitely frozen) cheap fare. To be honest I kind of expected that and I'm not really disappointed, just that now I know and certainly wouldn't get them again. There are also the options to get your meat/falafel/beyond meat option atop a salad or chickpeas. I like chickpeas, but not enough to eat a whole bowl of em.
Overall, I'd say this is a tasty dish and I'd be curious to try some of the other options. Apparently they offer a chicken shawarma (or shmarmma if you're Fred VanVleet) poutine at the moment... yeah no I ain't trying that. The prices ain't no bargain for a fast food joint (even the daily specials exceed ten bucks) but the meat is of a good quality and with all those sauces and seasonings it surely isn't bland. A solid outing.
Burnt Ends -- Ughhhh fine I'll get to the fireworks factory already!!! Yeah there isn't much new to report this week in regards to my other writings. My review of the Pink Floyd albums has progressed to the point I've listened to every album and have a first draft of my thoughts upon each one. Honestly though I spent most of the last week writing new songs, which is something else I do.... just not often since I began these weekly fast food reviews. Now the fun part:
Hey Doug -- You slimy cartoon buffoon with a drawn on smile and your ears plugged to the world. What're you just sitting on a pile of missing money like Scrooge McDuck while just throwing your arms up and crying poor? Watching you try and come across like a down trodden "man of the people" while attacking anyone disagreeing with your government's obvious gross incompetence is about as enjoyable as poking my eyeballs with pine needles, and at least doing that would give me a fresh piney scent. Playing politics in a pandemic... there's no limit to how pathetically low you go, so just go. Away. Forever.
Requests??? -- Don't worry, I'm not running out of ideas yet (I've actually got something really fun and cool planned in about a month) but if you've been reading and enjoying these reviews, and there's something I haven't tried yet that you'd like to see me give a shot... drop me a line! The only criteria for the Tuesday Tastes are that they have a minimum of four locations (which thankfully the wonderfully delicious Rudy does). For instance, I could actually review Pizzeria Libretto now (um, again), but I can't do PG Cluck's (damnit), at least not for this particular series. Anyways lemme know if there's a place you want me to check out and I'll add it to the queue. And thanks for reading! (especially getting this far this week).
My Old School -- Another new segment? Sorta. I noticed something on BlogTo and despite their typical disingenuous click-baity headline, it was a interesting read about a UofT food truck I remember very well. Ol' Brown Ideal Catering wasn't my usual go-to in those days (I liked the Chinese food truck usually stationed a bit north, their portions were like two meals) but I definitely ordered a sausage and fries on many occasions I had a late class at Sid Smith. The fries in particular I remember being really solid, fried in that old type oil that makes the edges a bit brown, while the flavour of countless previous french fries drips out of these things. And they were always crazy hot, you had to wait like ten minutes before even attempting a bite. Pure nostalgia. Maybe if we ever reach a point of life resembling what it once was and that truck returns (and I'm still doing this, hopefully), I'll do a bonus review of it. That would be a trip for me, no doubt.
(also someone please get my Steely Dan reference)
Tuesday Tune -- You can probably tell by my opening that I'm not feeling particularly chipper this week, and so here's a song combining politics, anger and a band I'm writing about! That's what we in the writing biz call a.... *checks notes*.... *realizes there are no notes*.... um.... a Threeve-er...? Just go with it.
That's it for another week, another taste. Until next time, be kind to one another and at least try to keep more sane than I am (hummus and chips for breakfast? Ahhhh F* it no one cares). For now, stay cool in these upcoming summer days and don't spill that mustard.
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