Taco time! In this edition for Taco month, we're checking out an extremely new and quickly popular taqueria here in the east end.
Taking over the original Burger's Priest location on Queen Street East (Priest relocated further east into the Beaches)... Holi Taco is a cozy little take-out spot with a lot of character despite the confined space. The place is so new (I'm guess-timating a little under a month as I type this in mid-July) that they don't even have a proper website set up as of yet, just a modest Instagram page. As such, any information about the backstory or origins of the restaurant is extremely limited (unless a style-over-substance BlogTo video is your thing)... at least via the tools of the internet at my disposal from my comfy chair. I suppose I could've asked a few questions when I was getting my food but... uh anyway! According to a Reddit post, the owner/chef is from the Mexico City area and I guess that's good enough for me.
The vibe inside cannot be understated. Aside from the placement of the ordering counter, this is unrecognizable from the old grandfather Burger's Priest. Plenty of welcoming colours and decoration, music and conversation pulsing within the vibe ... a real feel (pardon the rhyme time) of a place you'd want to linger about despite the confines. I wandered in around 10pm on a Friday and at first felt like an outsider because everyone inside the restaurant and on the bench outside, staff or customer, all seemed to be old friends because of the generally flowing banter (a good amount of Spanish being spoken as well, and mine is limited and very un-confident).
This outsider-ish-ness quickly evaporated however, as the chef's natural glow and friendliness put my "first time here!" awkwardness at ease. Looking over the menu, you've got your standard beef, pork and fish options (no chicken, surprisingly) with a couple of variations on both the pork and beef. For vegetarians, there's a mushroom-huitlacoche taco option as well as another with cactus paddles... all intriguing but rather adventurous (it's my first time!) so for my trio I went: fish, pork (the carnitas) and the beef suadero.
Yeah, the lighting wasn't great (stupid darkness). Before we dive into the tacos themselves though, Holi also has a little station of homemade salsas in molcajetes (stone bowls) on the window counter (there are also limes, diced onions and cilantro separately). Dear reader if you can see through the league of shadows, I got a sampling of all four of the offered salsas: the mild verde is in front next to the lime, in the middle are both the mild (most obscured by darkness) and the purple-ish macha, and furthest away is the super hot. The chef cheerfully suggested the macha pairs wonderfully with the beef suadero, and also warned the super hot salsa was, indeed, super hot. Challenge accepted, obviously.
More terrible photos! This is the pork carnita, and just on its own it is extremely flavourful. They chop it to order on the wooden counter in front of you (the chef at one point was chopping to the rhythm of the music, which was delightfully amusing) and the sliced-to-order juicy texture is undeniable. Nothing crazy with spice or seasoning or marinade, just straight up pork and it is fabulous. Definitely on the fattier side but all of the meat is so soft and nicely greasy anyhow that it hardly matters. Hold the tortilla firmly, this will spill out.
Speaking of the tortilla, here in July Taco Month this is the (as of writing) first appearance of a corn rather than flour tortilla! Flour has its advantages... mostly that they don't dry out as easily, but a good soft corn tortilla has so much more to it... which this indeed is. You can tell they make these fresh and in house (or possibly from Ossington tortilla shop Maizal, according to vague Reddit sources). The freshness of the gently sweet corn bursts onto the tongue, while the tortilla itself folds easily and isn't even slightly stale on the edges. Tasty and light. Just phenomenal stuff.
I'd say, if you're going the salsa route, both the mild but especially the verde matches well with these pork carnitas. The verde has less sweetness, more of a neutral green pepper sting and especially an onion crunch. The mild salsa on its own is positively delicious! A lighter sweetness, vivid tomato flavour, still some crunch, and none of that salty nonsense you get with those mass-produced salsa jars (*cough* Tosititos *cough*). This is the real deal, and the flavours linger wonderfully.
Okay, so I hate doing "bite-in" photos like this. Nobody wants to see where my mouth has been (sometimes me especially... ba dum tss). However, in this case I have a very good reason! I um, forgot to take a picture of the fish taco until halfway through... I mean you couldn't see the fish at all when it was still whole! That's the, uh, story-I-mean-ticket.
Honestly though, this fried fish (haddock, according to the menu) was indeed buried under a bushel of cabbage slaw and loose diced onion and tomato (both of which were nice crunchy and juicy accompaniments). Unlike the other two tacos which were reasonably generous with loading up the meats, there wasn't a whole lot of fish on here.
However, there was juuuust enough... because you could definitely taste it. A very vivid, quality fried fish flavour and despite existing like a chestnut hidden in a cabbage patch, the distinctive fish taste became clear and also stuck around nicely in the mouth when you got a good bite of it. Good choice on the light batter as well: not a lot of airspace between the shell and the filet, and considering the crunchiness already there with the slaw, having a crunchy fried fish stick as well would've really been too much. Instead, it's a delicate fry and all together a fairly good fish taco.
I figured the fish taco was the ideal one with which to sample the super hot sauce, so through the looking glass I went.
Conclusion: to put it elegantly, yeah it's pretty damn fucking hot. I mean, indeed yes it provided significant sizzle to my innocently awaiting taste buds, whereas afterwards the interior of my mouth felt a considerable reaction I say.
It's a good hot salsa though. Really good. The best kinds of spice aren't just "burn your intestines for the next half day for the sake of it". Real authentic good heat has a specific and unique flavour while it slowly murders you, and this one does. This one doesn't dance at all down the path of sweetness, no... nor is the build a slow one. It's a pure "coming at you" of sharp tomato and hot pepper that gives a good initial punch, but that first swing is also far from its strongest and none of them subside quickly either.
Objectively, a pretty good spicy salsa that might not be for everyone. Like a good spice, it still gives an avenue for the taste of the other flavours in the taco even as your mouth is burning. As I said, of the ones I sampled I think this fish taco is ideal one for this.
Finally, a decent-ish photo! I mean, the beef suadero! You had me at "slow cooked beef brisket taco", truly and honestly. Feel like I can just leave that here... but no I'll get into what makes this delicious looking taco (spoiler) so damn delicious.
As I wrote about in my Dang Smoke review, and as I'm sure to mention again... you can tell when beef brisket is slow cooked by an expert hand via both how tender the beef is and how the flavour lasts on each bite. This is different from Dang Smoke (for many reasons) as they slice relatively thick slabs of their slow smoked brisket for sandwiches, whereas Holi probably slow roasts and carves (or chops) theirs into smaller shredded bits for tacos.
The difference is mostly textural. Like the carnitas, this suadero taco is exceptionally fatty (leaving a notable grease stain in my takeout container) but when a meat is just so well prepared and so tasty in this form, the fattiness is a feature not a glitch. Another enjoyable layer and flavour within the tender shredded beef within. It's amazing how something so simple can be so damn marvelous: this is just a fattier cut of beef with a softly heated corn padding, after all... yet the beef is so excellent and full of life (irony I know) that you could eat this as is, without any of the frills, and still enjoy it immensely.
However, I took the chef's recommendation and sampled the macha salsa with this one. Yeah, I think he knows what he's doing. Excellent combo. To my credit-I-mean-ego and not knowing what this salsa exactly was, I detected a nice mix of nuttiness with dried peppers in this salsa, which turns out are the key ingredients in macha (go me!).
It is a really wonderful salsa: bit oily (almost more like a pesto without the bitter assertiveness) but with great balance between the richness of the nuts and tang of the peppers... and the thicker parts of it compliment the fatty beef quite nicely.
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Overall! You know, it's almost serendipity I discovered Holi Taco at all, despite my relative proximity to them. Rare occasion I happened to be on a streetcar, looking north, and seeing a new taco place the exact month I'm doing a taco review schtick? Hell, with those caveats I still would've tried them even had the Google ratings been trash.
They're not. Holi currently averages a 4.9(!) of 5 with about 80ish reviews, a grade that will surely drop but I can't imagine by much. There's not much for me to be negative about with this. The fish taco? Still good, but easily the weak link of the three (needs more fish). Otherwise, I genuinely loved all of this: the different salsas, the wonderfully cooked and prepared pork and beef, the incredible soft yet firm and flavourful corn tortillas, the atmosphere... all of it is absolutely exceptional.
This is one of the best places I've reviewed all year, some of the very best tacos I've ever had in my life period, and I cannot recommend them enough. Go try them before they really blow up onto the Toronto food scene, and I'm certain/hopeful it won't be long.
Taco Tune
I've always loved the video for this song.
See you all next time, some time later this month for the Taco Taste!
Even now, a month later, I am lamenting the fact I missed Beaches Ribfest this year (for comparison sake, imagine the crowded Ribfest at Centennial Park except smaller, not at all crowded and most of the same BBQ joints). Curses! Damn my summer employment and weekend baseball commitments... no actually I'm very cool with having those please continue indefinitely...
Anyhow, in that absence of an annual tradition I'd been feeling some BBQ for a while... and my dear dad messages me while I'm working a boring Argos game asking "have you tried the burgers at Montana's?" Good sir, I barely even knew Montana's's (Montaneses? Montanei?) still existed!
If you give it a look... they are plentiful but none are remotely close to any TTC subway station. In fact the closest one to the central core of Toronto is so close to Pearson airport you can see the windows along the planes taking off/about to land as they pass over your head.
Montana's is one of those 'chain-sit-down-restaurant' joints I've grouped in my head with Boston Pizza, Kelsey's, Jack Astor's, Earl's, the Firkins, Appleby's would the famous American example... you get my drift. I suppose each one has their own shtick, but having worked for a few of these kinds of restaurants in the past what has always been a weird feeling for me is how all about "bringing the brand" the experience is. Almost every place you ever work, restaurant or corporate chain or otherwise, will want that kind of "project our uniqueness onto the patrons/customers" (if you've watched Office Space you know what I mean)... which cool (I guess) but when all your restaurants have the exact same regimented decor and style, the exact same "funky" artwork on the walls or identical wooden paneling along the booths, or a repeated neon sign quip at every single location... well does quirkiness necessarily go hand-in-hand with uniqueness? I don't think so. Not when it's such an obvious widespread effort.
Perhaps this is a reason why none of my Tuesday reviews ever even considered trying these types of places. Big, faceless fast food chains are fun to slag and compare against one another (although less fun to consume), while more independent local spots are extremely enjoyable to review because the food comes from a place of true heart, love, and soul... telling their stories and the people behind them (often the owners themselves) is wonderful.
Chain sit-down restaurants like Montana's are in that weird middle ground: I'm sure each individual location has its own fascinating story, every staff member with endless tales about their experiences... but there are so many of them and as mandated by corporate they all look the same anyway so... what's really the point?
It seems I'm revealing a mild disdain for this particular type of restaurant, which is only particularly true. Again, Montana's wasn't at all close to my radar (or where I live) for the weekly review... but a free ride (and he sneakily paid the dinner bill too, thank you again) from my dad made me shrug and say "why the heck not?"
Backstory! Well, there isn't much I can find. The concept appears to have been born in the mid 1990s as a BBQ off-shoot of Kelsey's (gee think I just mentioned them) and in the late 1990s the Montana's chain (as a subsidiary of Kelsey's) was bought out by what is now known as Recipe Unlimited... an enormous conglomerate you've probably never heard of (I hadn't) but they also own Harvey's, The Keg, New York Fries, East Side Mario's, Swiss Chalet... I dunno did you really expect any different? When you have a hundred locations and almost each one I guarantee has a significant dedicated parking lot...
Review the f#@#@g food already! Huh? Who said that? Must be the ghosts circling around me. Lets get into that. My dad wasn't exactly insistent about me trying this (insistent is not his style) but after his partner and her father both raved about the burger, he was indeed curious what I would think. The car trip getting there (and back) was hilarious and will make a hilarious story on a later date (I gotta run as I edit this) but to this point I've already spent far too much time ranting about corporate restaurant chains. Here's the burger already you impatient ghosts!
Montana's offer a few different burgers. A veggie option (duh), a "Canadian" burger which adds a slice of peameal bacon on top (which is what my dear dad got), and a brisket burger! Crispy onions, slices of BBQ brisket, cheddar cheese, all on top of a burger.
I confess... I've never had slices of brisket atop a freaking cheeseburger before... so going in (I looked ahead of time) I knew this was my move. Damn, I love brisket so darn much... read my *shameless plug alert* review of Dang Smoke if you don't believe me. Good beef brisket is one of my very favourite food things ever. As a weird sort of bacon-substitute on a corporate restaurant chain burger? I wasn't expecting anything truly incredible.
Indeed, it was not. But... as a brisket? It was fairly okay. You can tell it's a gimmick and a slight afterthought... the truly best brisket (like a Dang Smoke) will smoke that shit every morning so to be ready to order, and the tender, melty texture/juiciness shows in the process.
Here? Tougher, not to the point of chewiness (thank goodness, that was my biggest fear) but loose enough and some decent flavour (although drenched in BBQ sauce it was tricky to tell where that ended and the brisket began). If this was alone on a sandwich? Hard no. As a textural accompaniment atop a burger? Decent supporting piece.
Fries! They were fine. Crispy, salty seasoning, and tasting like fries should. Hard to give points here for nailing something so basic... but I will because these were quite all right. Imagine a level of quality wherein you're at a table with a bunch of friends but none of you are super hungry, but somebody orders a basket of these to share and they're gone within fifteen minutes. It's a good, quality level of french fry.
Okay Montana's burger, lets see what you've got because I've had a sampling of the best, Toronto or otherwise. Harry's Charbroiled, Burger Drops, Friday, the NYC Shake Shack... and In-N-Out still remains my GOAT (much to the lament of my parents who grew up in Winnipeg with the Salisbury House 'Nip'... look it up). You better bring it, Montana's!
Within the second bite, I already knew how I felt about this burger. It's... good! Comparing it to those places I rambled/joked about above isn't entirely fair (nor is it nearly on that level) but this was a darn tasty, flavourful cheeseburger.
The beef patty itself... reminds of that grilled taste you get from a backyard BBQ, expect the patty itself is about twice as thick. Much like Harvey's actually, except a considerable notch above. To Montana's credit, this is a hefty burger and unlike your buddy's grill wherein you could probably wolf down three store-boughts with a minimal food coma afterwards... halfway through this thing I had to start taking my time a little bit, and I came in real hungry.
You get a lot of that grilled flavour and there's definitely some good juicy texture, although far from anything dripping or greasy. The supporting cast? I already talked about the brisket, however on the best bites of this burger there's a pleasant match of soft hamburger with thicker BBQ sauce drenched within sliced beef. Again, an odd combination I'd never encountered before but it kind of works.
How about the rest? Good bun, barely noticed it for good or bad. Like a baseball umpire, sometimes it's best when you forget they are there. Cheese? Not much either beyond texture and a hint of sharpness. Standard pre-sliced cheddar (not true fake cheese thankfully, which would not have worked here at all). BBQ sauce? Sadly a bit too much of it, and a dominant flavour. It's a sweeter BBQ sauce which does work, and a fine sauce on it's own... juuuust a little too much of it.
Crispy onions? Man. I don't get why places put crispy onions on hot burgers fresh off a grill or griddle or whatever. It's HOT... the heat contained within (the burger is still cooking while it cools) softens those crispy onions to the point you lose the precious crunch, which is the most appealing aspect of crispy onions, and once that happens they're just kinda... there. Tepid, soft and flavourless. It doesn't work! An onion ring on a burger? Likewise the batter and crunch of that will soften and lose it's full impact, but at least you still have an actual fried onion within to provide something! And when done right, the crunch of the thicker batter of an onion ring remains. Put those tiny crispy onions off to the side, pile em on once you're halfway done the burger.
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Overall! Lets ditch the preamble and get into the honest question: is this an objectively good burger? Answer: yes! I quite liked it. Nothing along the likes of those places I mentioned earlier, but beyond my crispy onions rant this is an example of a fairly generic good-ish burger spruced up with other solid supporting flavours. As I said, the quality of beef patty itself is of a friend BBQing on a grill cooking up high quality store-bought patties but really knows what he or she is doing.
Much like Gus Tacos... it's so in the high end middle of my vague "recommend or don't" range, that sweet spot where if you have it you'll enjoy it most definitely, but there isn't anything particularly explosive or lastingly memorable about it. Perhaps, having never tried anything else of their food before but still indeed take my words of wisdom as scripture... if you find yourself at a Montana's and are debating the merits of a good looking burger... I can say it is quite solidly good. And most importantly, very filling.
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Half Man Half Recollection
Vince Carter, future basketball Hall of Famer and (I presume) the first man to have his jersey retired by the Raptors (and they freaking better... the Nets are also retiring his number and they don't even play in the same city as they did when he played there!) goes through some of his career highlights and it's a lot of fun. At least, the first ten and last two minutes are. Those daggers he hit against us still hurt, man.
Tuesday Tune
It's either the best album of the 1970s, or easily the best album of the 1980s (though Paul's Boutique remains my favourite). Great song, insanely flawless record.
That's all for this week I gotta run, maybe a review next week we'll see but until then take care stay safe and don't spill that mustard!
Another Tuesday, another Taste! So as we are now in July (already? Geez) it's time for a themed month! Recoil in horror and unsubscribe. Wait, can people even subscribe to this thing? Where's my agent...
Anyhow, it is henceforth decreed that this July of 2024 shall be Taco Month! Taco July! Tacjuly? Julyaco? Hmmm. Needs work. Where's that damn agent?
For real, I love tacos and there are multiple places in Toronto I've wanted to try. Aside from Xola (two blocks from my house) never have I even reviewed a taco, yet I've been craving a good one for probably over a year now... hell I legitimately used to work in a freaking taco restaurant (that is not a story I'll be sharing, nor will I ever review said restaurant without considerable compensation... and no it isn't Taco Bell).
The time has come! July shall be Taco Month, henceforth. However, seeing as there are five Tuesdays in this particular July... well too many tacos is never a bad thing (I sure could go for 100 tacos right about now), but to avoid severe repetition not every July review will be taco-focused. At least three, perhaps four. There will be something different in the middle to change the pace.
Enough preamble. We're here today to talk about Gus Tacos: a Toronto mini-chain with a surprising (to me anyway) number of locations throughout the 416. By my count they have seven locations: one in Kensington Market, one out in Long Branch on Browns Line (great pizza place near there, seriously), one near Queen and Roncevalles, one in that new fancy Super Plaza 'The Well', one random one on Dupont Avenue west of Symington (near the original Mattachioni), one on Bloor West somewhere (bah I'm not made of airports) and finally the only one east of Yonge Street... and very far east it is, indeed.
Kingston Road and St. Clair Avenue East... which are familiar sounding streets, as is the sound of a nearby GO station simply named "Scarborough" (emphasis on "simply")... but check that map to see where it is and-hoo-jebuswhydidIgothisfar???
I'm passing 1940's era motels on the way back! Yes, they still exist! (the history is fascinating). This is also where St. Clair East ends... a street in which the eastern section of it only begins when Taylor Creek starts shimmying southward and St. Clair can sprout off from O'Connor Drive. This is already significantly east of Woodbine (or where Woodbine would be, it merges with O'Connor and drifts north-east) and St. Clair East continues on for seven kilometres straight on until the diagonal Kingston Road, following the shoreline, halts it for good. I mean, you could also just check a map to see what I'm talking about... I guess... but isn't it more fun hearing me describe it? Yeah? Really. Hmmm. Better cancel that YouTube Toronto exploration series I'd invested in and was planning to film-where the hell is that agent???
I honestly know nothing about Gus Tacos, beyond various thumbs up via interneting people... so what's their story? Well... it's a story about family. A young business graduate (Emilio Bravo Morales) teamed up with his talented chef cousin (Augustine) and his father (Michael) to open a takeout counter half a decade ago in Kensington Market named La Chilaca Taqueria. Their authentic homemade approach to Mexican cuisine (and cheap prices) were a hit in the Kensington Market food court, and by 2019 the first standalone location of Gus Tacos ("Gus" seems to be Augustine's nickname) opened up steps away from where their food court stand had been. 2020 came along and the rapid success fueled them to plan expanding out to three more locations that very same year!
Well... yeah 2020 did... 2020 all over that...
...except, they actually did open up more locations that year and all were successes and still exist! (aside from a planned one on Gladstone Avenue that the pandemic indeed squashed). Now at seven locations, and still with impressively high regard among internet reviewers (mentioned positively multiple times in a Toronto Reddit thread asking where are the best tacos)... well time for me to stop getting paid by the word* 'Dickens-style' and actually review the damn thing.
*I actually don't get paid by the word (or at all, with rare exception) for the record. If I did? Lord have mercy.
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I happened to be biking home from Rouge Hill (I'm a maniac don't ask) and this out-of-nowhere Gus Tacos location on Kingston Road, probably 30 kilometres away from the next closest one, was on my mind. Locking up the wheels, my first impression was upon how their appearance/deliberately intended decor struck me (and I've since learned all their outposts share this aesthetic).
Extremely basic: red and white, clear bold lettering everywhere, bright inside so to accentuate those root colour schemes, and nothing playful about the menu. No flashing screens (no screens of any kind)... just straightforward "here's what we have, prices for each category are above". How damn refreshing.. Believe it or not I rarely go into fast food joints (usually just for these reviews) and when that happens I simply cannot stand these newer menu screens that continuously shift into something else. It's bad enough I'm about to pay money for your mass-produced food... can I at least have a moment to consider what I want before the menu I'm looking at changes, and I have to waste a moment of my life standing awkwardly waiting for the other screen to come back? Who thought this was a good idea?
Sorry, getting off track. Thought this would be a short one! Anyhow, I got three tacos: their Asade (beef), Barbacoa (braised lamb) and a fish taco. I'll briefly (briefly I swear) break them down one by one, then at the end say which ones I liked best alongside my overall impression of Gus Tacos.
The fish taco leads off! Well... I've had better. But also... this is pretty nice. Nothing really stands out via flavour or texture, but all the elements you want are indeed there. Shredded lettuce? I like more crunch, but it's fresh and plentiful enough to be a factor. The aioli drizzle? Kinda there, can't even remember the flavour... but the presence of creaminess hit at just the right moments. The fish itself? In two fried pieces... not a cakey or flaky batter... good crunch, and a cod taste that was real and lingered nicely long enough to prove its genuineness.
A very simple fish taco, without an outstanding element. Yet, the sum of its parts were above mere competence and together surpassed that limitation. Enjoyable, tasty... not gonna change your life but impressively solid.
Quickly on the tortillas as well... very nicely done. Not flaky or dry in any place, they hold the contents within very snugly with their own delicate softness. Slightly oily, and they are flour tortillas so there isn't a huge amount of taste to them. But as a texture and taco vehicle? Well done.
Call me mint jelly cause I'm on the lamb! If anyone gets that reference please comment... there's a free taco in it for you!*
*free taco not guaranteed via agency difficulties... damn that agent!
The barbacoa taco is the weakest one here, and that's only because the meat is on the dryer side and so the taco needs at least one more thing.
The braised lamb itself: not tender or juicy, which doesn't help when the only other thing you have is a bush of cilantro riding shotgun (and I like cilantro). These bits of lamb do have some flavour, that distinctive peppery, tighter taste of lamb. Also... yeah this could've had onions in it, which I refused. Onions and I have a complicated relationship... green onion? Hell yeah! Shallots? Ugh nope. Caramelized onions? Hook me up! Diced raw white onions... well you get it. And this onion offering would've been of the "white and diced" variety... can't do it.
Even had those onions come into play, this lamb taco would've still been far too dry. It needs avocado (too expensive)... or a chopped fruit like pear (too random)... or how about some hot sauce?
As you can see in the lead photo that... oh hell I'll just put that photo here again:
Right. those two orangey sauces below are Gus Taco's hot sauce. There is a choice and I was asked whether I wanted mild or hot. Well... hit me with your best shot, Gus.
This hot sauce... well the thickness of it saved that dry-ish lamb taco first of all. Also: it's a killer hot sauce. I love it... and it also is spicy as all hell.
A weird mix of sweet chili and creamy, and also an instant punch that does not go away quietly. Really has some sting, my eyes watered a bit (good sign) and the flavour had that hint of sweet and richness that I mentioned. Best of all: flavour-wise it acts as a compliment (an assertive one, but one nonetheless) rather than a spotlight stealer. Even in the hottest moments, I could still taste everything else. Marvelous!
Last one is the Asade beef taco, and yeah that looks a heckuva lot like pulled pork... my first thought was they fungoed my order.
Nope! It's beef. I was definitely expecting some kind of sliced and grilled cut of steak instead, but the risk with that is having it sit around in a metal container/warmer just to dry out and become tediously chewy, and or lose it's juicy flavour via the steam. Instead, clearly the work of a slow cooker and made in bulk, and while it doesn't look like much... this beef is actually very tasty. Deceptive juiciness, plenty of beef flavour and it even lingers in the mouth for quite some time. It's a fairly one dimensional beef taste, sure, but still is a surprising winner for that lasting flavour and soft, enjoyable texture. Really liked this one.
Also, one tiny note before my concluding thoughts on Gus Tacos... why do so many people hate cilantro? As you can see two of these tacos are beneath a bushel of the stuff, and while that is a bit too much of it for me I do find cilantro an entirely inoffensive herbal accompaniment. It is a bit more assertive parsley, sure, with its sort of sharp and sweet taste... but I'm genuinely curious why there's so much disdain directed at it.
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Overall! There are some faults. The biggest one being: three tacos and I was still slightly hungry. That being said, I was in the middle of a long bike ride and am taller/heavier than the average dude... but still.
I also think two of these (the lamb and the beef, lamb especially) just needed one more thing. A sauce, some crispy or pickled onions, diced tomatoes, cabbage... something to elevate the good but very basic flavours.
Alas, all these tacos were five bucks each and I think you're sort of paying for what you get here. Which is: a very simple but effectively tasty taco. Good portions on the meats, in lieu of anything supporting them. I'm no expert (this isn't pizza) but I figure this is exactly what an average-ish (maybe a nudge above) taco would grade out as. They're just a little too simple for me to really sing their praises, despite the little that is there working quite well.
Considering these circumstances, this is kind of a half-recommendation. Do you have to drop everything and go try them? Not really. But if you're hungry and happen to be near one, it definitely won't let you down. Plus, I do wonder if their non-taco options (tortas, quesadillas) have a bit more to them. Overall... good. Just good.
Oh, right. Rank em!
1. Asade
2. Fish
3. Barbacoa
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The Sound of 90s Playoff Basketball
Neat article about John Tesh's "Roundball Rock", best known as the theme to the NBA on NBC for several seasons (with NBC about to get NBA broadcast rights again, wonder if they bring it back). His story about having a tune in his head at 2am and no way to record it aside from calling his own answering machine is quite a relatable one.
Tuesday Tune
Catchy late 80s jangle rock. It's great.
That's all for this week! Until next taco time, stay cool, stay safe, and most of all don't spill that mustard.
Bit of an interesting week in these parts. Skipping the details... the right side of my body is indeed still in considerable pain as I write this on Sunday. But! Not painful: discovering Wvrst has a kitchen at Godspeed Brewery... which as an east-ender seems fairly lacksadasical on my part to not know that (it seems relatively new that Wvrst is there), but whatever! Hitting your head on hard things makes you more aware of things? (Please, no. That is obviously not true, don't try it).
Wvrst has been a success for well over a decade now, starting out at their King West/Portland location (a large upstairs spot only featuring an ordering counter and very long benches for groups to sit at... take a number and chat while your order is being made). Chef Aldo Lanzillotta maintains, through every interview I've been able to find over that decade-span, that the intention of Wvrst was to bring Toronto something unique that the city did not yet have: a beer hall dedicated both to high end sausages of especially different varieties and local beer brewed with love and passion, and perhaps particulars that would match with these sausages cuisine-wise.
The timing could not have been more ideal. There are so many craft breweries in Toronto now that even I cannot keep track of them. I've never ever been to Red Tape! And it's a ten minute walk from my house! (stupid hill).
Regardless, go back fifteen years and the craft beer scene in Toronto was yet to emerge from its infancy. Mill Street was still independent (and also still good), Amsterdam has sneakily been around even longer (also now owned by an international thingy) and Granite Brewery has been doing their thing in the Midtown area even longer longer (not a typo fyi) than that! But at the time, say 2009... "craft beer" in Toronto just wasn't a common thing you'd find. By 2014? You get Left Field Brewery, Bellwoods, Blood Brothers (possibly slightly later), Henderson's (also probably slightly later) just to name a few. As these older ones* got bought out by the conglomerates (and lost their creative mojo), these wonderful little ones sprouted up to fill that space and continue to produce interesting high quality suds.
A craft beer renaissance here in Toronto, and not only here but pretty much everywhere in Canada. The market for interesting (tasty) smaller batch beer emerged in the early 2010s/late 2000s and now it's gotten to the point of being overwhelming. In a good way!
*for the record, Moosehead is actually the oldest independent brewery in Canada. 1867 I believe! Moosehead is what it is (a very good reliable lager in my opinion) but it's funny to know that yeah! They aren't owned by any international/corporation whatever. Fuckin' good on them. I remember doing a staff tour at Mill Street right around after Labatt's had bought them out, and the guide explaining how this was "actually a good thing, allowing us to expand our reach and ideas". Naturally, all of their good ideas (Tankhouse, the Coffee Porter, Belgian Wit, the Lemon Tea, that wonderful Blueberry wheat beer I'll never forget ugh it was so damn good) faded away as they focused on pushing forgettable IPAs instead.
Long way of saying (do I have any other way): Wvrst emerged at the perfect time to emphasize high quality food and local beer, opening their first location at King and Portland within that half-decade window I mentioned. I'd indeed been there quite a few times well before writing about this kind of stuff: they really take their beer selection seriously and that has always been appealing to me. It's absolutely not a surprise they would team up with a place like Godspeed.
I know I know, I'll get to the actual 'food reviewing' of this food review soon, but allow me to quickly talk about Godspeed Brewery. I'd fit them into, lets call it the 'Second Wave' of the Toronto craft beer boon: not super new but they opened up at Coxwell and Gerrard sometime in the past six years, and have been extremely well regarded since their inception. The head of Godspeed, Luc "Bim" Lafontaine, worked as a brewer in Montreal and also previously lived several years in Japan... that particular overseas experience very much lending an influence into the unique flavours, ingredients (and names) of the beers Godspeed produces.
They are a large open space (kinda has to be if everything is brewed on site) and by the sounds of it the ambition to expand is not a priority. Lafontaine seems to prefer this singular space where the quality of their offerings can be as precise and small batch as possible. This isn't a brewery you find in many LCBOs either, if any. You gotta go down to the place itself (they do have a retail shop) to sample it... but it is worth the trip (more on that later).
Okay! How about the food. As I probably said about a century earlier in this article, Wvrst mostly focuses on German style sausages and thick Belgian-style fries. So, I got both of these things! Lets start with their well-known duck fat fries.
Duck fat fries! So... I'm not exactly sure why duck fat is considered a delicacy of sorts. I can taste an extra layer of something, so as an accentuation it's rather nice. Flavour-wise? Perhaps it serves to enhance what's already there? There's a thickness to the texture, not (thankfully) to the point of caking the mouth like a cheap fish and chips place. I can't really describe it: certainly something there, helping the overall experience, but to give it a look of precision? It's an enhancer, that's all I've got.
Certainly it works. These fries would be fine without it, but with? This is the good stuff. Excellent texture (delicate crisp on the outside, soft wonderful middle) and they wisely keep the skins on. The seasoning is likewise on point: nothing crazy beyond a slight dusting of salt. Long answer short: terrific fries.
Time for the sausage party! Ugh, why did I make that joke... and why have I kept it in?
Getting the excitement out of the way... Wvrst offers an intriguing variety of options, consisting of different meats (and vegetarian also) with bizarre mixes I thought impossible. The kitchen at Godspeed is more limited I suspect (breweries are big) but there are enough intriguing options nonetheless. I went for their bison sausage, blended with blueberry and maple according to their menu, and elected for the Currywvrst style rather than on a standard bun.
Normally I don't much care for whole grain bread, but in this particular circumstance... with a sausage this damn tasty... I'll make the exception. Perfectly toasted as well. In the bison, I definitely get more of a blueberry taste than maple, along with a slight herbal tea hint... and it's completely delicious. Perfectly fatty without being greasy, about as light tasting as a sausage can be. So much genuine flavour, and none of it resembling that classic oily grill taste. Thumbs up to the moon. Wicked good.
As for the sides: wasn't too blown away by the sauerkraut. Indeed very sour, with an odd beer-like flavour to it... entirely fine in terms of quality but just not my thing. The currywvrst sauce, however... much like a looser ketchup with an earthy kick to it. Great stuff, and quite nice with the fries.
Might as well review a Godspeed beer, while we're here (pardon the rhyme time).
This 'Ochame' (which roughly translates as "playful mischief") is a green tea IPA and is unbelievably light, despite clocking in at six percent ABV. You get a bit of hoppiness in the smell and the initial taste, but the flavour of that fades nicely into a slightly bitter green tea aftertaste... all while the lightness of the body makes the whole thing very drinkable. Very interesting beer and while my enthusiasm for IPAs isn't what it once was, this is a terrifically unique one. Neat flavour and not obnoxious or assertive either. Strong recommendation.
---
Overall! While I can't vouch for the Liberty Village or Union Station locations, I can definitely tell you the original on King Street and this particular one in Godspeed Brewery are indeed worth your time. Excellent stuff and I certainly recommend them. By comparison, the fries were merely quite good but that bison sausage... yowza. One of the best of those I've ever had, no doubt. Combine that with excellent beer... you've got a real winner. It's obviously a very specific (and at Godspeed more limited) menu so you'd have to be in the mood for this particular cuisine... but the beer itself at Godspeed alone is worthy of a visit.
Dear Doug
I loved the Science Centre. Memories of it, as a child, illuminated my imagination and soul. A friend of mine is bringing his wife to Canada for the first time this summer, and I was considering a trip to the Science Centre as an excellent place to them to visit. Such a unique building and attraction. Oh well, lets get more dumberer.
Back in the initial run of the TT, there was a segment every week wherein I'd justifiably lambaste our Premier of Ontario for his many egregious sins. Both for being an obvious fucking idiot, but also for just blatantly serving his own interests and not even being remotely clever enough to try hiding it. Apparently nobody cared! Eventually things in my life got better, the outward rage subsided into quiet grumbling disapproval. Hoo boy, it's time to unleash. Avert the eyes of the children. Still very few people care! But I do.
All you caring about "culture wars" and drag queens being bad for children... can you open your fucking eyes and instead of some weird twisted fantasy see and react to the actual blatant corruption happening??? This province is going to hell and yeah, that's their intention. They WANT things to get worse, our public services to crumble, so that they can then say "here's a private option that's better (also owned by our political donors)" for you to pay for it!
I'm obviously a left-leaning dude (if you've read my work this should be no shock) but political alignment aside... isn't accessible free healthcare, or well funded schools, or just accessible venues you can plan a day and bring your family to (aka: not a fucking spa for rich people) just generally acceptable and beloved? We can all agree on that, yeah?
This... this piece of shit you'd find under your shoe... this motherfucker Doug Ford is so corrupt and so confident he's getting away with whatever he wants to do... his government is barely even trying to hide it anymore. Almost a billion dollars of OUR MONEY for a private spa nobody wants? Noooooobody! Criminally underfunding public assets so they depreciate to the point of "oh this is broken, privatize it!" Closing the wonderful Science Centre overnight with the flimsiest of excuses or notice (yeah get ready for another empty condo there, exactly what Toronto needs)... this isn't the work of a great leader. It's what a sloppy gangster does.
To anybody who ever says "elections don't matter, they're all the same"... yeah well you can also go fuck yourself. Less than 50 percent of people voted in the last provincial election and this is what you get. Look, I've pretty much hated every Ontario premier in my adult life (and for the record I've voted in every election and never voted for any of those other morons) and even this is a new actively low painful thing to behold.
Fuck Doug Ford. He doesn't give a shit about you, unless you're a wealthy developer happy to give him cash underneath some kind of fuckable table. Go to hell. A just universe would fire him into the sun, slowly.
B-Rock
Now that the venom is out of my system, here's something much more positive. A buddy of mine from softball is legitimately doing good, inspirational work in sporting circles and I'm happy to share this featured story about him on Sportsnet. Genuinely a good dude, hilariously dry with his wit, and most importantly a darn good ballplayer heh and teammate.
I'm glad this was the episode to completely dunk Doug Ford's stupid face in the toilet because, despite a tough week personally... everything else here you've read is glowing happiness. And here is one of my favourite songs* by one of my favourite bands... yeah at 36 years old I think I've accepted I'm indeed a hipster. But wait! I mean... yeah I ride a bike everywhere, I like wearing band shirts, have long hair and a beard, am a bassist, write a food blog, and... uh what were we talking about?
Anyhow, this song rules. The drums and bass on this track... good lord it brings a tear to my cold, injured eye. Not even gonna do the usual goodbye! Just listen to the song and don't, like I did, spill that mustard.
*ugh and yes I know that isn't Feist (like on the studio recording) it's... I don't know. Probably Ariel Engle? I'm 98 percent certain of that. She sings it beautifully on this live version regardless. BSS rules, as does KEXP).
Naturally, upon seeing the title of this piece, your first thought will likely be "where the hell is there an Arby's in Toronto?"
Answer: there isn't! Depending on whether you prefer going south-west into Burlington, or straight east into Oshawa... those are your closest options... on foot those are 50.9 and 58km respectively using the Toronto ferry terminal as a departure point, according to Google Maps. Get those running shoes on!
It wasn't always this way. Back when I was in high school there was an Arby's location in one of the food courts in the Eaton Centre. Think I might've tried them once back then, no idea if I liked it (probably not if I only went once) and gave little notice or care whenever it was they departed (I rarely go to the Eaton Centre). This was not the only GTA Arby's to vanish in recent years... as the current total absence of Arby's in the 416 region has inspired a group of "activists" to publicly demonstrate/protest/something? about this fact. You be you, I guess.
Astonishingly, this is a chain with over 3000 locations, the vast... vast... vast! (vast) majority of them operating in the United States. They were founded by the Raffel brothers in Boardman, Ohio in 1964, choosing the name 'Arby's' as a phonetic pronunciation of "R-B's" (Raffel Brothers). The Raffel brothers weren't interested in making just another dime-a-dozen burger restaurant, instead focusing on roast beef sandwiches in an attempt to create a more upscale fast food option. The concept was considered foolish at the time, and there were some severe logistical and financial difficulties in the first decade... but the brothers were ambitious and by the late 1970s Arby's had nearly a thousand locations throughout the USA. Here in 2024, Arby's 3300+ outposts is second worldwide only to Subway among sandwich (non-burger) franchises. Yep, I was as surprised as you are.
I was sincerely, with all my soul, hoping they would be at least better than Subway (which is probably my least favourite fast food chain ever). But before we get to the actual reviewing: first of all... how the heck did I even get to an Arby's? I live in the east end of Toronto and as I said, there isn't even one lurking inside Scarborough Town Centre... which is still stupidly far from me.
Well, I didn't walk (or bike) 50+ kilometres to get to one, that's for sure. No, Arby's has a location in St. Catharines and since I happened to be there for a few days to visit my sweet and lovely mum... I biked a much more reasonable 3km to experience what this "we have the meats" is actually all about.
I'm extremely unfamiliar with Arby's menu (having only been once two decades ago) but I knew if I was going to review them I had to go for the roast beef.. and I had to get some curly fries because curly fries (still kicking myself not getting the Burger Drops ones). Some of the other options surprised me: a french dip? A Rueben? I was tempted, not gonna lie... but I also wasn't sure yet if this was going to be completely terrible and so elected on a junior buffalo chicken sandwich as the sidekick.
And here is that! As far as cheap ass junior chicken sandwiches go (but I was using my whole ass) this honestly isn't bad. It ain't good either: there's very little of that "chicken" element which is rather crucial to make a good chicken sandwich... but I appreciate the flavour contrast of buffalo sauce (which has some nice kick) and creamy mayo, and they wisely put lettuce on this thing as well (looking at you, A&W).
I wouldn't get it again. It's like they put a large chicken tender into a sandwich and drenched it in sauces, although I do like this buffalo sauce. Sharper than what you might find typically. The chicken itself... entirely fine but not memorable in any way. The middle ground of "buying a box of it in frozen form" which is it's own indictment.
Curly fries! If you read my Burger Drops review, or just a few paragraphs earlier of this one you are reading now... you'll likely suspect I love curly fries. They're such a rarity! Few places really offer them. Waffle fries and thick steak fries and crinkle cuts seem to be gaining some vogue, which is cool and all... but oily, crispy, slightly battered and or heavily seasoned curly fries are such a joy to me. I spent a lot of my childhood in California and there was this place in... Walnut Creek I wanna say? Anyhow, my aunt would take me there and I was just obsessed with their curly fries. There was nothing at all like it back in Toronto! They were so good... each fry was it's own special treat.
It's obviously difficult to separate something so mythically beloved as a child from the cold objective eye of weary and hardened adulthood (life is fun, eh). Nothing can ever live up to the "idea" of what those delicious curly fries were to me in that time. Nor should anything try to... so lets examine these Arby's curly fries without the weight of an Altas-like nostalgia hanging over them. They're struggling to hold up enough as it is.
My verdict on these Arby's curly fries! Meh. Just... very okay, much like the chicken sandwich. If they were a little crispier that would help, but the biggest problem is the lack of seasoning. There isn't a dusting of spicy powder or pepper or garlic or anything. The crispy texture is kinda there, kinda, but it needs more taste. So much more. After a couple fries you're going straight for the dipping sauces and hey, lets talk about those.
On the red right is what they call the "Arby's Sauce", while on the left is the famous (infamous?) Horsey Sauce. I have to confess... it never occurred to me until finally trying it why it was called "Horsey" sauce. My thought process in the moment: "Hmmm... like a mayo, but with a hint of horseradish! Interesting I wonde---ohhhh now I get it." I might be a fine writer, but I'm far from the quickest spoon in a knife fight.
These two sauces don't really yield much to discuss. The "Horsey Sauce" is certainly interesting via how uncommon this type of flavour/condiment is among big fast food chains, and yet that angle still does fit comfortably alongside their cold cut sandwiches agenda.
Myself... I really like the nasal sting of horseradish and this particular sauce is a beginner's course into that. To be fair, I doubt an enormous chain like Arby's would offer an insane eye-watering congestion clearer as a sauce (in packets no less) but I gotta say it how I seen it (or saw it) and this Horsey sauce is more sauce than horse. It's a generic mayo with just enough of a horseradish kick in the back to be somewhat different. Overall... decent as a dip but not exceptional. Better than the usual generic fare.
As for the "Arby's Sauce"... yeah this is some weak stuff. I can barely even tell what this is supposed to be. Sweet and sour? A thicker glob version of Swiss Chalet's "Chalet Sauce"? (also horribly overrated, hurl your pitchforks please). Is it a sweet faint BBQ sauce meant for the sandwich? It certainly does faint before it reaches your tongue. I don't get it, and there's so little to it I'm struggling to even describe why it's awful. But it is. An absolute nothing.
Onto the main attraction, the specific thing the Raffel brothers focused on over half a century ago to separate their brand from all the burgeoning burger chains: the roast beef sandwich.
Here's the thing: I can appreciate the small details while simultaneously firing my missiles into their execution. An onion bun! And the bun is nice and soft throughout (not the stale crap you find at McDonald's). Problem is... texture yes, but you don't really taste any of these details. The onion bun is such a slight hint that you forget it's presence within two bites.
The roast beef itself is... okay-ish. On a quality level it probably matches the prepackaged stuff you'd find in a cheaper supermarket like Food Basics or FreshCo... it tastes like roast beef no doubt, but there just isn't a whole lotta "ooomph" to it. No secondary taste or anything that lasts longer than a fleeting moment. This really is a fast food roast beef sandwich: gone before it's even over.
Perhaps I'm being overly mean. But... it's hard to write about this because like the curly fries, this roast beef sandwich is simply meh. Precise in it's inoffensiveness. There isn't much to say because there isn't anything notable about it! Even the cheese sauce is your typical run of the mill, nacho cheese goo that comes out of a 7/11 dispenser, and there isn't a whole lot of that on here anyway. The only thing that really works is the texture: the softness of the bun makes the experience of eating it fairly pleasant, and that brief connection of onion bread and roast beef is enjoyable.
But I'm grasping at straws here, and unfortunately this is also one of those sandwiches (hell, everything I tried frankly) that tastes much better on the first bite, but as you approach the last you're thinking more of just getting it over with. Much like my general impression of Arby's regarding this review: at first I was slightly impressed and thinking this was much better than my worst instincts had feared... but at the end the realization of nothingness creeps in. Positivity! Surely that's my style, ain't it.
Overall... seriously, dozens of people devoted their time to go out and make a public demonstration why there isn't one of these in the central Greater Toronto Area? Can I have some of your free time? Clearly you are not using it wisely.
I don't recommend Arby's at all, nope. But... I also don't regret finally giving them a good look and while the failings of all these items were how bland and forgettable they were... nothing was outright bad (aside from the "Arby's Sauce"). I would happily take that meh roast beef sandwich over any McDonald's burger or a Whopper, which as I've previously said offend me via sheer careless disgust.
I'll give Arby's some points: they are different. As a consumer, it is a different feeling going to a spot and ordering a roast beef sandwich instead of a cheeseburger. You can get a cheeseburger anywhere, but getting something resembling (and I use "resembling" very loosely) a deli sandwich, is a unique little corner of the fast food market.
And I'll say it again to finish this review off... I didn't think Arby's was bad. I was expecting the worst, as Simpsons and Seinfeld jokes raised me to believe. They occupy a bizarre middle ground... well above the ocean depths of the terrible but looking up at the surface of unregrettable decency. Honestly... if you must I'd say do what I did and try them out of curiousity, but only for that reason and only once.
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Funky Jobs On The Run
I've worked a lot of various
jobs in my adult life, the vast majority of them in bars/restaurants,
and as such some of the extremely brief ones do stand out in my memory
for something comedic and/or bizarre. Enjoy this new semi-short feature
on the TT.
Uncle Betty's/Worldwise Partners
With a decade of reflection... looking back at 2012 I realize how I've overlooked the extent of the chaos happening in my life at that time.
I moved twice that year (the first time having to abandon much of my furniture because of neighbouring bedbugs), quit a dead-end but still steady job at Pizzeria Libretto (while in the process of the second move of that summer)... all while starting to study English Lit at University of Toronto despite living in three very different and distantly separate areas of Toronto.
As a 24/25 year old it wasn't easy but mostly I shrugged it off in the end, and I was also endlessly fortunate to have a partner at the time with godlike patience, virtue and emotional support. Now... as a single soon-to-be 37 year old? Just writing about that level of madness makes me want to melt into the floor. There's a certain saying of "I wish I knew what I know now, when I was younger". This particular job story definitely connects with that philosophy.
2012 was, as described above, very chaotic for me. I'd quit a reliable job (again, knowing there wasn't much of a future), went to California with my wonderful lady for a few weeks, and then came back to Toronto in an shared house I'd lived in for barely a week... without much of a plan regarding how to pay the bills. Almost instantly (like two days after being back in Toronto) I scored a job as support staff at Uncle Betty's: a quirky Midtown brunch spot that at the time (they've been closed for a while now I believe) would have serious lineups on weekends, which is mostly when I worked.
Hate to say it, because it was a small spot and the husband/wife owners were good people... but this was an awful job. At least, as a support staff. You'd be busting your ass: running food, clearing/resetting tables fast because of the lineups, refilling coffee cups... and these servers were just complete total assholes. Barking at you, not helping to bus, questioning your speed as you frantically try clearing a table with a dozen plates solo, demanding everything while chilling in the corner now and again...
Look, now I'm in my 30s and for nearly a decade I've bartended far busier places than this dumb little brunch spot could've ever dreamed of... but I can also say in those absolute toughest situations dealing with the worst kinds of people I've never been an outright dick about things, especially to my co-workers. Have I gotten frustrated? Of course! But with a rare exception or two (including a baseball podcaster I'm fond of...) the servers at Uncle Betty's treated you like grunt work dirt, as did one of the owners when you were on the floor.
Hey, you can live with that in a busy environment as long as the money is good... right? Ha! Uncle Betty's is the third worst job I've ever had because... I'll never forget my first brunch shift, the moment after busting my stupid tail for six straight hours of a packed restaurant... each server must've sold well over two grand and walked out with multiple triple digit bills in tips for themselves... and getting fifteen bucks from all four of them combined. Fifteen fucking bucks! Oh, and a "thank you for your hard work" of course.
Remember... even at this young age I'd worked Libretto and the Madison and The Drake Hotel already... I knew what a busy service was like and this was like that, This is also working at the old minimum wage... Server's Minimum I may add... so like ten an hour? Fifteen bucks??? When the place is rammed for an entire afternoon, with a constant lineup, and there are twenty tables plus a patio? What... the... fuck? Fifteen bucks wasn't even enough to order myself some much needed food off of their menu!
I am kicking a dead-horse, seeing as Uncle Betty's has now departed and the only other two jobs I've had that were worse... were much, MUCH worse... nevertheless this does lead into my experience with Worldwise Partners. Hoo boy.
---
Genuinely I wanted this segment to be exclusively about my experience with Worldwise... but the Uncle Betty's tale actually works as a background to accentuate how desperate I was. I wasn't thinking entirely rationally, just seeking anything to free or distract me from a truly demeaning restaurant gig... and so seeing a job posting for an entry level marketing position, then getting an interview almost immediately... well I was 25 and the twinkle in my eyes hadn't yet faded as much.
Weird job interview. A bunch of other people, in a relatively nice office waiting space near Victoria and Wellington. Quick chat, instant job? Again... the twinkle can blind you. I think it was that same Friday, possibly the very next day but perhaps a couple days later after the interview... I was summoned for a "trial shift" of sorts.
Here's the thing, and why legally this company could say this was an "entry level marketing" job, and why I can also say within reason how this wasn't a total scam, not really... but also a complete misleading fucking deceptive lie and misdirection. Looking back... yeah neither the posting or in the interview did they really explain what the job exactly was, or what the work involved required... deliberately vague to a point they could've driven us out to a farm and had us shovel cow manure, with a crisp 20 dollar bill for the person who shovels the first 100 pounds. It would've been equally honest... or rather, as honest as a lie of omission can be.
I guess I was expecting some kind of office thing, where I'd (uncomfortably) have to call people on the phone. This was my anticipation arriving again at the same Victoria and Wellington office early that Friday morning. There were four of us plus a supervisor, who immediately and energetically informed us we'd be heading out on the road to spread the good word. Uhhh... okay.
Onto the subway we went, paying our own fares, and to the Yonge and Eglinton area... hilariously close to where Uncle Betty's was. Our first stop? The food court of that mall for lunch and that was also on our own dimes (I ordered nothing for the record, as to my credit I was quickly becoming uneasy about all of this).
Cleverly, to make this seem more legitimate... one of the 'trainees' among us was more of a veteran. "About a month he's been with us and already has impressed, getting promoted and scoring all the bonuses!"... praises he nodded at with a confident charisma. Indeed he did the job with either genuine or extremely well acted conviction.
By the way! Yeah the job was canvassing... aggressively canvassing... like wandering down streets and knocking on people's doors and pitching them something that frankly I'm still not sure was indeed legitimate. The sale was all environmentalism and saving forests or oceans and asking for donations for these seemingly just causes but... I mean come on. Even 25 year old me, with a pretty girlfriend, a twinkle in his eye and also needing cash desperately... even he couldn't help smell the fishiness of it all.
Alas... I wandered about the very wealthy side-streets south of Eglinton and Yonge for a solid few hours, on a chilly late December afternoon I was underdressed for (again thinking I wouldn't be fucking outside for a significant period)... going door-to-door asking for money like shifty trick-or-treaters. I hung back and never actually knocked on a door or spouted any manipulative bullshit... an honest truth I will repeat should the heavenly gates exist and look over my file.
Beyond the moral vacuum of being adjacently involved (and there were a few older folks we knocked on who did buy in...) this was such a long and unpleasant experience just by how cold it was. Again, they didn't give any kind of notice that "Hey! You'll be outside for a significant period and it's December in Toronto, so dress warm!". I've even checked my old emails (legit from 11 years ago) from Worldwise just to confirm this assertion! Nothing about it at all.
Lets wrap up this gross tale. I'd also learned, as we were already knocking on poor unsuspecting people's doors, that this was a commission based job without any hourly wage. Goody. Well, for reasons that still baffle me I stuck this through until the early evening. Our supervisor dude took us into a comfortable coffee shop on Mount Pleasant, spoke highly and happily of everything/whatever we'd done and asked each of us how we felt about coming aboard the team and being a part of something that was going to "change the world!".
He came to me and I said no.
There was a mild surprise, perhaps a faint follow up of "you don't want to be on this revolutionary team blah blah" but I was already grabbing my bag and politely saying this just wasn't for me. On one hand... I mean yeah no shit I should've just ditched these fucking idiots within five minutes... but on the other, well younger me was far more meek and although I knew halfway through this charade that I wasn't going to ever talk to these people again... I felt I had to do it properly at the very end. Unfortunately I was in a fall jacket and it was two degrees that day...
---
One final thing: when we were in that Eglinton/Yonge food court for lunch, I mentioned off-hand that I worked at a restaurant nearby, to which the supervisor jovially commented "you'll have to hook us up there!"
It's a comment that has never settled with me... not only because I'd already then given my notice at said restaurant, or that I couldn't have 'hooked them up' even had I wanted to... it was just such a hollow thing to say. An assumption (at best) that we were all this tight knit team... while you're my "supervisor" and I've barely known you for twenty minutes over a surprise subway ride that came out of my own wallet. Some of the best, most excellent people I've ever met and currently know in my life have been my supervisors at work, but that is something earned and gained over time... not just assumed and granted in the span of a confusing half hour.
Anyhow... I never got paid (never made a sale, bless me) and little did I know the bad restaurant job I was in the process of quitting, or this rejected flimflam trial shift... wouldn't be light-years close to as horrible as the job I took at the very end of 2012... but that's another tale soon to be told.
I'm more than just a charming food reviewer you know ("charming" claim not yet validated by our lawyers here at WC Street). I recorded an album of very lo-fi songs which is free to listen should your ears be happy to. No pressure, I just welcome any kind of feedback... making music is an equal passion to writing for me (I'm just typically much shyer about it).
I was very sad that Pixies played my work a couple of Saturdays ago (I
don't work Saturdays there) and I couldn't be there. Even without Kim
Deal... it would've been pretty cool to see them. So, here's a great
song off one of their great albums (I go back and forth between this or
Surfer Rosa as my favourite).
That's all for this week! Certainly felt like an Arby's night. Until next time... stay cool (it's hot this week), stay safe, and most importantly of all don't spill that mustard.
Another Tuesday... another Taste! This time, it's a dang good one (see what I did there).
Dang Smoke BBQ is actually named for the owner, Dang Quach. Like many BBQ joints, they started out as a food truck operation (back in 2017) and gained enough of a steady following to open a permanent location in Leslieville. They inhabit the old location of burrito spot Chino Locos, which some dork might've also reviewed back in the day.
Not a complicated menu, and the space itself is ridiculously small (a wooden counter with a few seats along the front window is all you get). Should there be another person or two waiting for their food, it's going to be cramped. There is a little bench outside, however.
Also... their front door is very hard to open. Like, it requires a full strength, put-your-legs-into-it powerful yank. I arrived in the middle of a Sunday afternoon and my initial reaction to this unexpected obstacle, knowing that they often close earlier than listed hours because they sell out of things... well your first reaction is to raise in eyebrow in confused apprehension. Later when I was inside waiting for my food, the very same thing happened again to a young lady and her boyfriend. Because it is such a small place/operation (only a FOH person taking orders behind a counter and a BBQ cook behind in the open kitchen) I imagine it's a consistent difficulty to relay the stubborn stuckness of this door (I myself opened it for them, only just to relieve their confusion after a pair of failed attempts... yes yes not all heroes wear capes, some also have food review blogs).
Speaking of that food (and not big heavy doors intent on keeping BBQ goers hungry) I went in with a definite plan, accepting no substitutes. Or rather, I would've had to come back another day instead of accepting a substitute (insert 'The Who reference' here).
This was my first ever time and I was curious about the Mac n'Cheese... but what truly tantalized me most was that brisket sandwich. That was the headliner that pulled me here the most.
Back in the days of when Caplansky's was on College or greasy old (delightful) Mel's Diner was in the Annex slinging that gigantic both-terrible-and-also-awesome Montreal smoked meat poutine... I've always just loved a good smoked meat, in any form, when done right (in those days it was almost always dropped atop a saucy or cheesy poutine but alas I was twenty a long time ago).
There is a certain extra flavour and texture to when a meat is smoked so precisely, and the meat is likewise so well seasoned, of good quality, with just the right amount of tenderness and fat. This particular photo (damn sunny day) is deceptive because the shadows are hiding the true nature of this brisket sandwich. First glance, it looks fairly saucy but perhaps dry or chewy at points. Rather, it is much more the reverse.
The BBQ sauce you get is on the sweeter side... like a good subtly tangy whiskey BBQ sauce... but it is definitely there as an assist not an attraction. No, the brisket dominates this sandwich: Dang Smoke offer additional toppings like mushrooms or onions but none of that for me. At the time I shook those off with the intention of experiencing this brisket at full influence. Next time, I'll likewise shake them off but as mere distractions.
What makes this such exceptional brisket are the dimensions of texture. The flavour is great too, but taste-like an excellent smokey beef brisket doesn't take much to describe beyond: it's an excellent smokey beef brisket. Okay fine... there are some nice touches of rubbed in seasonings along the occasional edges you get in a bite (very sharp but not hot spices) and the tiny hint of the sweet BBQ is important as an extra something... but the texture is the star.
These are your classic thick flat cuts of brisket: the tender parts in the middle and those delectable not-quite-burnt but tougher, chewier, and loaded with a particular fall apart in your mouth taste of well roasted/smoked meat. The smokiness runs throughout, but especially on either horizontal end of each brisket slab. Meanwhile when you're more in the middle of the sandwich, you're deeper into the soft bun and right into the centre of the slow cooked beef, which despite its thickness is still so tender and full of flavour even on a bite lacking fattiness (and this was not an overly fatty sandwich either for the record).
I don't have much else to say. They pull it right out of the foil and slice it to order, and I can see why it runs out quickly. As a sandwich it needs no other frills beyond that meat. I'm sure mushrooms or slaw or onions or whatever you fancy would be a pleasant addition no doubt... but in my mind this is the type of rare beef (see what I did there) sandwich that can stand tall in its well-prepared but also sheer simplicity.
I won't take as long on the mac n'cheese (we all have places to be I'm sure, even me) but I'll start by saying I'm a bit of a mac n'cheese snob. A close friend made (and still does I'm sure) a completely dynamite one for me many times... I can make a pretty darn good one from scratch myself... and way way before that in my very very young days working at the Drake Hotel I got to experience Anthony Rose's version (and the man likes his saucy richness).
Long way of saying: in Mac n'Cheese Land it's tough to really blow me away. Also, is Mac n'Cheese Land a real place? I'd still go.
This one from Dang Smoke... doesn't blow my socks off because I wish it had just a little more to it. Green onions/chives, or an additional earthy cheese... I could've just added brisket as an extra charge which obviously would've done the job but that's cheating.
That said, this mac n'cheese on its own is still quite good when considered purely as a sharable side. From that perspective, there is plenty to enjoy. The bread crumbs? Not just there for show... they give the upper layer a tiny little crunchiness but not to the point of disrupting the creaminess below. The pasta itself is on point, and I do lean on the side of a much creamier mix in my mac n'cheese and this certainly delivers that without the excess of having the noodles just swimming around.
There's some hint of richer, parm-like cheese in here, but the most distinctive element is the mix of that creaminess I mentioned and an occasional thick gooey cheese within. Stretchy and stringy on certain forkfuls. Very nice balance. The hearty portion size is also a nice deal: even without the sandwich it would've been a challenge to polish this off by myself (definitely a good sharable dish), and so a majority of it made a delightful snack later that night.
Everything I'm saying is indeed a positive, as it should be! This is no throwaway Mac on a menu as a forgettable side... spruced up Kraft Dinner this is not. They put as much consideration into this recipe as they do their BBQ it seems. It's still missing that one something... it's so close to being incredible... but as is? Extremely simple, but extremely good.
Coleslaw? Yeah damn it I forgot to try the coleslaw. For shame....
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Overall! Dang Smoke BBQ is... bloody smoking good, I say chaps! Before we leave the flat and meet our blokes at the pub, spot me a few schillings for the extra chips and then a yardie on me! Do they even have southern style BBQ joints in England? I'm genuinely curious. London, maybe?
Anyhow yeah they're truly fantastic, well worth the wait and suspense of a couple of failed attempts on my part to try them, and I strongly recommend trying them too. Their hours are very weird: not open Monday-Wednesday, close early in the evening most days, and they sell out of stuff often (there's usually a sign outside their window to alert people). If I may reiterate... it's a reaaaaally small space, and a small staff as well I imagine. Funny enough as I was preparing to leave with my food, two young women walked in to hand in printed resumes. Printed! Didn't think anyone still did that anymore, never-mind people half my age.
If you want to try them (and if BBQ is your thing you should) be sure to plan significantly ahead or just happen to be in the area, but they are real, real... smoking good. Hehehehe...
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Dark of the Matinee
The Red Letter Media lads have a long and interesting discussion/brainstorm about the decline of movie theatres, why it's happening and ideas how to fix it. Really fascinating, well-thought stuff and done in their typically amusing way.
Coming Soon!
I missed last week (stupid allergies ruined a lot of things last week) but I've got something really fun to make up for it... coming soon! Also no weird work tale this week, either... but I've got plenty more of those too.
Tuesday Tune
An incredible and quasi-forgotten rock record, made in the general era of Disco versus Punk. The guitars on this album are truly something (Verlaine could play, man).
That's all for now! Until next time, whenever it may be... stay cool, be cool, and most of all don't spill that mustard.
