Another Tuesday, another Taste! It was not a good week over here at WC Street, mental health is truly something to cradle when everything finally feels right. But! I'm feeling quite pleasant at this moment and so let's talk about Pizzaiolo.
This was my go-to "cheap pizza slice" option when I was at UofT: wandering off from the E.J Pratt library... looking for food costing below five bucks. Thing is, I did this so often that I eventually became sick of this pizza and so deliberately avoided it for many years afterward.
Now though, with those years behind me, how does Pizzaiolo hold up? And in calzone form?
Well... pretty darn good. It's way too expensive (14 bucks for a two topping calzone??? not cool) but at least I got some good quality. The surface is nice and oily, that good kind of greasy "to the touch" feel. There's a drizzle of parmesan which melts into that slippery exterior texture, very enjoyable.
Inside, it's what you would expect from a calzone but what impresses me is how every element is in equal measure. There isn't excessive empty space or bubbles ruining every other bite (*cough* Pizza Pizza *cough*) but there isn't an excess amount of cheese either, which in my opinion can obscure the quality of particularly mediocre pies. Pizzaiolo has terrific tomato sauce, for a pizza chain, in that it has consistently agreeable tomato flavour: you notice the sweetness, the slight acidity and the texture. Sauce on pizza can be so boring when it's just generic "something-something-imitation-red-stuff"... a good tomato base is the basis (see what I did there) for any great pizza. Unless we're talking white pies... or pesto bases... but hey that's a whole different delicious conversation.
I don't think Pizzaiolo is truly amazing (I've written about these things before, don't ya know), but it was rather good here and the toppings inside (in this instance just pepperoni and bacon) hit the mark. It's actual fried bacon strips (unlike that salty bacon crumble you find in Domino's or Pizza Pizza) and the pepperoni has some seasoned depth beyond just saltiness. The cheese (used in thankfully not overwhelming amounts) holds it all together and really has that squeaky consistency you look for in mozzarella. Seriously, this was quite delicious... but why is it 14 bucks? That there is the biggest, most unforgivable flaw. Calzones, even at the best of places, should never be that expensive. At least the quality, and quantity, of this one hit the bullseye despite the price.
Burnt Ends -- I write about baseball too don't ya know. Also here comes my Pink Floyd discography review Wednesday! I have to share and announce that now, or I'll just never do it. You know how these things work. So stay tuned! Beyond that... maybe I'll review a random Star Trek episode for fun? We shall see.
Hey Doug -- The premier of Ontario is clearly an idiot way out of his depth even operating a lemonade stand, but even his pathetic idiocy is overshadowed by this article by total hack Jesse Kline. Just astonishing in it's blind arrogance of... basically everything! Oh so you're cool paying five bucks to access a public park, therefore everyone else is? How welcoming to people who can barely live on five bucks each and every day. It's amazing how fools like this have such a platform to spew their toxic waste into our minds. I'm just your friendly neighbourhood food reviewing fool over here, and I certainly don't think the solution to homelessness is charging the public to enter a goddamn fucking public park to keep the "undesirables" away. An astonishing level of useless thinking I feel bad even bringing attention to.
Tuesday Tune -- This is simply one of my favourite songs of all time, full stop. Enjoy it, my friends
That's it for now. Watch out for my Pink Floyd review soon, but until then, be safe, be kind to one another, lets all hang together in this nightmare and especially don't spill the mustard.
Another Tuesday or two, another Taste! Apologizes for missing last week: my genuine intention with these weekly reviews was to pull off a Cal Ripken-like streak of consistently getting on the field every game for this, but alas mental health does not abide by such schedules. Now though we're back. Back in black! Er... not really. As a return though, I really wanted to review something special and memorable to really catch back some momentum. Either something phenomenal or something truly dreadful... just a meal so electric on either side of the scale to really dig into and explain with passionate perspective.
Nope.
This spicy pork burrito from Burrito Bandidos makes the ultimate mistake, at least for a food reviewer: it's merely okay. Kinda good, even. Kinda. Damn it! I have so little to talk about or analyze here, but I'll try.
Even the website story is extremely lacking in flavour. Once you get past the bizarrely worded "Our Story of Best Food Delivery" banner (huh?), you get a generic story of their first location opening downtown (not even mentioning where) and since 2009 they've expanded. Geez, I thought I was shy.
I happened to be hanging out with my long time friend Chris when I ate this, and via my descriptions he summarized it perfectly: it's like a mediocre first date. There are moments of chemistry and overall it's a moderately enjoyable experience, but I'm not in a hurry to call you back either. It's quite cheap for a burrito joint (a large was 11 bucks) and strangely not very filling. The "spicy" pork is accessible but not particularly hot in isolation, rather flavourless and overly chewy when isolated. Everything else is standard burrito filling stuff: refried beans, lettuce, green peppers, rice etc. There's some nice heat but I really can't tell if that's their hot sauce or the jalapeno slices. The ultimate C/C+ meal.
As I warned you, this one is rough to review because I just don't have much else to say about it. The texture is fine....ish? It's more watery than juicy? Welcome back! Overall I'd say I'm unimpressed, but more so by the mediocrity than anything offensive to my tastes. Truly the definition of average: I can't suggest you stay away but I also can't really endorse it. Best eaten while drunk maybe? It certainly is food.
Burnt Ends -- I haven't accomplished very much writing recently (surprise) but I can say that my look at the Pink Floyd discography is nearly complete, quite likely to be shared later this week. Stay tuned for that, if that is your kind of thing! Even if it isn't, well read it anyways for the cool album covers because Floyd was also quite good at that.
Hey Doug -- You're such a massive failure I think you have a future working for the Toronto Maple Leafs. Too soon? Nah.
Speaking of the Leafs though... I feel for all you fans out there. You deserve better than watching Sideshow Bob constantly walk into rakes for fifty-plus years.
Old Man Yells At Cloud -- I'm very late to this (since I didn't write anything last week) but the way Woodbine Beach was trashed on Victoria Day weekend seriously pissed me off. Before I fall too deep into NIMBYism... is it really so goddamn hard to not be an idiot and clean up after yourself? I was at Woodbine Park (close to the beach for you non-East-enders) on that Sunday around 7pm, already having a devastating panic attack, watching a lineup of cars for several blocks all entering the beach. This is why I've accepted being unemployed and stuck at home for almost a year and a half? FFS. If you're visiting my only outdoor (and mental) escape, please don't leave it like a gigantic garbage bomb went off, for the love of gawd.
Also, this is just so obviously disgusting and needs to be a way, way bigger story than it has been so far. Spread the awareness.
The Adventure of Link(s) -- Gotta finish on something more positive than that. This has not been a triumphant return thus far! First off: the always charming Andrew Rea (Binging With Babish) did a video Q&A and it's a good watch if you're like me: eager to learn more about cooking but unsure which questions to ask.
On that level, this article I stumbled upon about the best way to prepare a hot dog is equally delightful. I've always been either a pan fry or boil type guy (the latter method was a source of much mockery from an ex-girlfriend) and this article really test-trials all of those ways and more! Worth a read.
Tuesday Tune -- Just shaking out the cobwebs, chasing away the phantoms
That's it for me. Sorry about missing last week, it was what it was and hopefully it's a blip in the history of the Tuesday Taste and not a regularity. More so than ever... be kind to those around you and be especially kind to yourself... stay healthy take care and don't spill that mustard.
Like an uninvited guest long overstaying, the never ending nightmare of these modern times keeps on chugging, now with the seriously escalating conflict between Israel and Palestine. This is a way too complicated topic to even approach on a bloody food article, but in some way I have to comment how the damage and casualty count sure seems to be awful goddamn one-sided doesn't it. John over here explains it better than I can.
Hey, there's still food to review. Woooo! Something I'm actually qualified to do! Sigh. Anyways if you're somehow still with me, this week I went off and tried Osmow's for the first time.
I'd never even heard of them until about a year ago, seeing the commercials with a certainToronto Raptor or two (I'd love to try one of those "shemarmas"). I still miss Norm, go Blazers. The Osmow's story began (according to a framed poster I read in their Danforth/Dawes Road location) when Sam Osmow (an Egyptian immigrant) was running a struggling submarine sandwich shop in Streetsville. So the legend goes, one day Osmow made himself a middle eastern lunch that smelled so good, a customer requested one instead of a sub sandwich. Shortly afterwards he rebranded the restaurant towards such cuisine in 2001, and thanks to food festivals (remember those) and free samples they built up a following. Now in 2021, there are over 85 locations.
It's a nice story, but does the food taste as nice? I ordered the lamb "On The Stix" (french fries), wandered off to Ted Reeve park and gave it a try.
At first it was a bit overwhelming: there is a lot going on with all these spices and sauces. The garlicy sauce is the most notable and probably their most famous addition (this location advertises selling it in bottles), and to me the thin creamy sweetness of it reminds me of a donair sauce. The Halifax donair was in fact invented by a fellow who immigrated to Nova Scotia from Greece, which of course is directly across the Mediterranean Sea from Egypt. Geography lesson! The other dominant sauce tastes more like a finely blended red pepper paste, which not only adds some colour but an earthy pinch of heat also.
The dish is heavily seasoned, giving much of every bite a peppery, chili flake or herb (rosemary?) sensation. It carefully toes that line between just right and overkill (my La Sala review). As for the main attraction, the lamb, I was pleased to see it cooked on a griddle to order and the results show. The texture is quite nice, juicy and tender, and the amount is plentiful. Usually for these reviews I'll order the bigger size but here the medium was plenty large enough. It's quite tasty, with that nice fatty peppery taste I greatly enjoy with lamb, yet is not at all greasy. The onions that are sauteed along with it are minimal but just enough of a presence to add a hint of that classic fried onion sweetness. I'm quite impressed.
One thing I find with items like this, such as chili cheese fries, poutine etc, is that seeking out and eating the fries first is a good strategy. I mean, fries with some toppings. French fries are just no fun once they get cold, with occasional exceptions, plus if you have a ton of toppings left but are full... save it for a sandwich! (damn I'm far too thrifty sometimes... times are tough, man).
They can't all be winners, though, and the biggest weakness by far here are the fries. Er, I mean "Stix". Given the choice between Stix or "Rocks" (rice) I only went for fries because, well.. reviewing what rice tastes like seems a bit too obsessive on detail even for me. The fries aren't bad, just your standard generic (definitely frozen) cheap fare. To be honest I kind of expected that and I'm not really disappointed, just that now I know and certainly wouldn't get them again. There are also the options to get your meat/falafel/beyond meat option atop a salad or chickpeas. I like chickpeas, but not enough to eat a whole bowl of em.
Overall, I'd say this is a tasty dish and I'd be curious to try some of the other options. Apparently they offer a chicken shawarma (or shmarmma if you're Fred VanVleet) poutine at the moment... yeah no I ain't trying that. The prices ain't no bargain for a fast food joint (even the daily specials exceed ten bucks) but the meat is of a good quality and with all those sauces and seasonings it surely isn't bland. A solid outing.
Burnt Ends -- Ughhhh fine I'll get to the fireworks factory already!!! Yeah there isn't much new to report this week in regards to my other writings. My review of the Pink Floyd albums has progressed to the point I've listened to every album and have a first draft of my thoughts upon each one. Honestly though I spent most of the last week writing new songs, which is something else I do.... just not often since I began these weekly fast food reviews. Now the fun part:
Hey Doug -- You slimy cartoon buffoon with a drawn on smile and your ears plugged to the world. What're you just sitting on a pile of missing money like Scrooge McDuck while just throwing your arms up and crying poor? Watching you try and come across like a down trodden "man of the people" while attacking anyone disagreeing with your government's obvious gross incompetence is about as enjoyable as poking my eyeballs with pine needles, and at least doing that would give me a fresh piney scent. Playing politics in a pandemic... there's no limit to how pathetically low you go, so just go. Away. Forever.
Requests??? -- Don't worry, I'm not running out of ideas yet (I've actually got something really fun and cool planned in about a month) but if you've been reading and enjoying these reviews, and there's something I haven't tried yet that you'd like to see me give a shot... drop me a line! The only criteria for the Tuesday Tastes are that they have a minimum of four locations (which thankfully the wonderfully delicious Rudy does). For instance, I could actually review Pizzeria Libretto now (um, again), but I can't do PG Cluck's (damnit), at least not for this particular series. Anyways lemme know if there's a place you want me to check out and I'll add it to the queue. And thanks for reading! (especially getting this far this week).
My Old School -- Another new segment? Sorta. I noticed something on BlogTo and despite their typical disingenuous click-baity headline, it was a interesting read about a UofT food truck I remember very well. Ol' Brown Ideal Catering wasn't my usual go-to in those days (I liked the Chinese food truck usually stationed a bit north, their portions were like two meals) but I definitely ordered a sausage and fries on many occasions I had a late class at Sid Smith. The fries in particular I remember being really solid, fried in that old type oil that makes the edges a bit brown, while the flavour of countless previous french fries drips out of these things. And they were always crazy hot, you had to wait like ten minutes before even attempting a bite. Pure nostalgia. Maybe if we ever reach a point of life resembling what it once was and that truck returns (and I'm still doing this, hopefully), I'll do a bonus review of it. That would be a trip for me, no doubt.
(also someone please get my Steely Dan reference)
Tuesday Tune -- You can probably tell by my opening that I'm not feeling particularly chipper this week, and so here's a song combining politics, anger and a band I'm writing about! That's what we in the writing biz call a.... *checks notes*.... *realizes there are no notes*.... um.... a Threeve-er...? Just go with it.
That's it for another week, another taste. Until next time, be kind to one another and at least try to keep more sane than I am (hummus and chips for breakfast? Ahhhh F* it no one cares). For now, stay cool in these upcoming summer days and don't spill that mustard.
Shake Shack is a New York hamburger chain that has garnered attention through their excellent "smash" burger style and... damnit! I did it again...
This time, the comparison is on level ground. I definitely want to wax poetically about the great classic American cheeseburgers I've had (and they do wax well)... Rudy though... if you want to call it an imitation you might have to check your mirror. I don't even know what I mean by that but damnit I'm standing by it!
My conclusion is that, as an imitation of a classic American smash burger, this is simply flawless. Each bite carries a differently enjoyable texture... the melted processed cheese assists the natural juiciness and the best bites seem to dissolve in your mouth. So... that's a positive.
Another positive is how the burger patty tastes like actual beef. Not overly seasoned to hide its flaws... it genuinely shares the likes of high quality meat and that, combined with the expertly melted cheese and just soft enough bun... every bite is marvelous. The texture stands out most to me: the outer edges of the patty are crispy and greasy... loaded with flavour like crunchy bits circling a burger doughnut. Inside, it's all prime juicy hamburger beef and cheese taste... just wonderful to sink your teeth into .
A burger this good invites nostalgia: and not shyly, it's holding a party. I wouldn't quite put Rudy within that highest regard of In-N-Out or Shake Shack, but it comes pretty damn close. Rudy definitely strives to be more of a Shack kind of burger, and it certainly has the right idea. Even the logos are somewhat similar.
The fries meanwhile, remind me of McDonald's fries, just better. Instead of relying on salt and oil, these taste like actual potatoes (the aftertaste lingers longer and at least gives you the sensation of consuming actual food). To paraphrase a line from my dear friend Amanda Ryan, who accompanied me on this one: "these taste like what McDonald's fries were probably like back in 1950". It balances that line of salty, thin texture, without that feeling of instant regret as you consume chemicals. These are solid fries: not as good as the burger but impressive enough to catch my tounge with their thin crispiness and consistency.
Overall... yeah Rudy is pretty damn good. Probably one of the better available burgers you'll find in Toronto currently. They get the details (crispy exterior patty, super melted cheese, good bun) right, and I respect that endlessly. This concludes my mini classic double-cheeseburger arc, and the results!
Big Mac: very bland, kinda bad in every way
Burger's Priest: solid, the quality is good but it's overrated and pricey
Rudy: brings the goods, I really have no negatives to say
Burnt Ends -- I'm making significant progress on my Pink Floyd ranking article, it's been a curious journey listening to every album again... what a truly exceptional band. Meanwhile, I've been writing about baseball, and on that subject I also recommend this historical article about the Chicago Cubs from an excellent writer I hold in very high regard. Beyond that...
Hey Doug -- you vacuum cleaner sucking up failed ideas, you rancid pile of dumpster refuse forgetting garbage day... all you have left is just blaming anyone else for your obvious failings, like a Wack-A-Mole that spits venom if the player misses. When the going gets tough, you ain't tough one ounce... clearly you hide in the corner until the next photo opportunity. Hey nobody fall for his pathetic charade, please. Resign you fool. Maybe that way I can possibly get back to work this century.
100 Up/Tuesday Tune -- A personal moment: I feel very out of shape. So, I've started running north up my street (which happens to be a cliff) every day for the next 100 days. I'm really only mentioning it at all as a way to keep myself accountable. Secret reveal! Anyway, I'm gonna keep trying it, but meanwhile here's the first song I charged up that evil angle to:
Hey! Oh! That's it for me. Be kind to each other, get that jab if possible, let's try to build a better world tomorrow and the first step is don't spill that mustard.
Another Tuesday, another Taste. In-N-Out Burger is a long established California burger chain that frankly is... oh wait! Wrong review. Damn I did it again.
Burger's Priest is a Toronto-based burger chain that has now expanded dramatically, and fairly recently: their flagship and original location on Queen Street East here in Toronto only opened in 2010, according to their website. Calling them a success would be an understatement, as they now have over 25 franchises all over Ontario and Alberta. Not bad.
Also according to their website, their founder grew up in California (truly the genesis of the "great American cheeseburger" and moved to Toronto for seminary school, which explains the Burger's Priest name. I'm not sure if it's the same dude, but I'm quite positive one of the people behind starting up Burger's Priest is also behind the Dundas West pizza point 'Fourth Man In The Fire'. Actually, considering that is another religious reference... it's probably the same guy. What'd you say? Look it up? Hey, that would require me clicking my mouse a few more times. I'm not made of airports!
Anyway it's the same guy. Shant Madirosian clearly likes these literal heavy concepts in regards to his restaurant ventures. Both 4th Man and Burger's Priest imply that their mission is to uplift our taste buds from the general blah we've been subjected to, enlightening our tongues to a higher place. I'd call this pretentious nonsense... except I also reviewed a Big Mac last week and anything to scrub out that experience from my brain would be most welcome. Plus I'm also somebody planning to review the catalogue of Pink freaking Floyd... when it comes to pretentiousness I can't throw stones.
Fourth Man In The Fire is legitimately very damn good. I've even reviewed it before. But what about Burger's Priest? It claims that it wants to redeem the idea of hamburgers back to what they are supposed to be, like it was in the beginning. I spent a lot of my childhood in California, and so I'm very familiar with that classic ideal of an American cheeseburger. Does this one stack up? Can it hold a candle to this messiah it clearly strives to be?
No. It doesn't. This is good, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't completely blow my mind... which is what the scripture (and price) wants to do. Overall this is a solid, tasty double cheeseburger: you can taste that addictive melted cheese everywhere, shredded lettuce, the grilled onions are a nice presence (and yeah, I hate onions but when you can sneak them by me and I actually like it... several bonus points). It's exactly what a classic double cheeseburger is supposed to be, and what a Big Mac simply isn't.
But it isn't perfect, or even exceptional. The patty is the weakest part: at least it tastes like beef, that's a good and reassuring thing... but there isn't much in the way of juiciness or seasoning flavour to really let it ascend. It's rather bland in a "good quality" kind of way. I don't want it buried in seasoning salt (like A&W), don't get me wrong... it's simply mediocre in texture and taste. It does the job just fine, which is my biggest criticism: this is good... quite good, but not great.
The supporting elements do good work, and really are the strongest part. They give much needed texture: the cheesiness compensates for the beef intake, the sauce is a nice mayo touch (and this burger is good enough that it doesn't use it as a crutch like the Big Mac... *cough*), and the onions really do make this a nice inbetween between a classic Cali cheeseburger and an east coast or Winnipeg smash burger loaded with fried onions.
I think I got what I expected here: something good but not living up to what it thinks it is. Keep in mind I am fortunate enough that the closest location to me is the very original one at Queen and Coxwell, so this is as genuine an article as can exist for this. Frankly, I enjoyed it. The cheese fries were an exceptionally pleasant surprise (like generic good fries: fried in good oil, not dry once cold and tasting like potatoes) and the cheese sauce they use is really gooey, thick and delightful. There needs to be more of it.
Burger's Priest overall isn't quite so amazing that I'd rave about it to everyone, because it just isn't. A solid 'B' in my books, and maybe I'm spoiled because I've had the chance to try the places Burger's Priest really wants to be. Still, I'd consistently go back to BP if they weren't so damn expensive...
Burnt Ends -- Little bit slow on the East End Eats this week. I went to a new place here in the Beaches Saturday night with the intention of reviewing them, but they were so backed up with orders I would've had to wait over an hour! A good sign. Gotta support your local restaurants, and I'm patient enough to go try again during a less busy time.
Beyond that I'm hacking away at my review of the Pink Floyd discography. It's definitely a trip, and I'm nearly finished listening to all these albums. Meanwhile my buddy and I are still ironing out our Radiohead article collaboration. Both of these things are coming relatively soon so... ugh unintentional rhyme... stay tuned.
Hey Doug -- Ugh, you get off easy this time... you greasy burnt doughnut. I'm in a good mood so I'll settle for calling you an inept villain in a Garfield cartoon, whose obvious buffoonery is casually thwarted by a feline easily bribed by lasagna. Just resign already, you garbage bag full of rancid laundry. See you next week!
Tuesday Tune -- I pulled a fast one on those of ya who know and love the band whose lyrics I used in the opener. Well here's a great song by a great band, but this here is a cover by an even greater band (and you'll rarely see these fellas playing a tune and having this much fun):
That's it for me! Until next time, stay safe, stay healthy, be alert and don't spill any of that mustard.
There's a woman in my lap and she's drinking champagne
In-N-Out Burger is a true classic American hamburger chain. Based out of California, they have... oh wait... I have things confused *ruffles notes* Oh! Oh. This one.
McDonald's is an American hamburger chain, based out of California. The original McDonald's restaurants were a small southern California franchise in the late 40s that entrepreneur Ray Kroc aggressively expanded into undoubtedly the most successful fast food corporation in the world. I definitely suggest you read about all that stuff because it is fascinating. The genuine model of what "fast food" is, was established here.
Personally I have an unusual McDonald's perspective: that I've rarely eaten it in my entire life. As a child, I was self-convinced for multiple years that hamburgers made me sick... so ballpark guess I probably went from ages 7-12 without eating a cheeseburger. Once I discovered how damn tasty they can be though... I was hooked. McDonald's though never appealed to me, even in junior high... and this perception continued even into my early 20s times of downing pints with buddies in the Annex. These friends and I would consistently end up at the McDonald's location at Avenue Road and Bloor: they'd order massive combos while I'd just sit there perfectly content with nothing as they chowed down. It's not like I wasn't hungry, and their food smelled good... I just was honestly never tempted (beyond a friendly stealing of a french fry).
Point is, I can try this with a very unique and objective viewpoint. I'm genuinely just not all that familiar with what this tastes like. Hey though! I'm kinda a food reviewer type person now, so why not try it again with my experienced perspective!
So... I wandered off to a closeish location in east Leslieville, ordered a Big Mac (no onions) with a small fries, found a nearby park and dug in.
Yeeeeeahh....
I know lots of you love this stuff, crave it, treat yourselves to it. Honestly, whatever makes you happy and whatever reward you want to give yourself for something positive: that's all good and I support it. I'm here, without particular attachment, to analyze what qualities this as food actually has. And I have a very strong conclusion:
It's bad.
Like, it's just very, very not good. I don't mean a "it's bad for you health-wise" way, which it also obviously is... but this just also doesn't taste like food. I went into this expecting to be underwhelmed yet find some kind of renewable charm within. Nope. Not even that. Allow me to dissect it in my usual way:
First off, the bun sucks. It's very stiff, utilized as nothing more than a basic edible containment for the content within. It has the consistency of a fresh bread you left exposed overnight, without the freshness. The sesame seeds are for show because they have little impact on the taste. Also, what's up with that middle bun? It barely matters. Second: the cheese (as you can see it photowise) is barely melted. As far as processed cheese goes this is rather okay, but unmelted cheese on a cheeseburger? No! Suspicious Fail.
Third: the hamburger patty itself, and the biggest weakness of all. It's fast food, I get it, and I doubt the patty in a Whopper is much different (I'll get to BK eventually, I promise)... but I had to taste the beef by itself and really dug deep it to find any flavour resembling what it's supposed to be. That flavour? Overcooked ground beef. What a winner!
The composition of the burger itself is genius and that deserves credit. The problem is that the product simply gives you the sensation of eating something. The texture is enjoyable and addictive (I did finish it despite not liking it), but the taste is forgettable surface. I enjoy consuming food, therefore I like this and therefore it is food.
These legendary McDonald's fries are likewise the same. Are McDonald's fries crisp, salty and great to snack on? I can't deny that. Is that because they taste so good? Um... they taste like salt and oil, and they're so thin that -that initial crisp tries carrying your taste buds through the experience. They remind me of Ruffles brand chips: a classic flavour that departs immediately... leaving just texture as you chomp the nothingness away. It's no wonder they're addictive because that first instant is so gratifying but then it fades so fast, your brain wants that first feeling again and again.
I'll throw a positive though: the Big Mac sauce ("Secret Sauce") is pretty nice. I mean, it really is just warm mayo mixed with relish and maybe a sweet mustard? My biggest conundrum was trying to figure out why it has that light red-ish colour, but the mayo/relish combo is obvious. It's very similar to a tartar sauce. Also! A dude in the ordering area was training somebody for potential employment right when I walked in to make my order... and his instructions were so unceasingly basic customer service stuff that it amused me. As a former(? who the hell knows) customer service bartender type person myself, it was so fascinating to see somebody 100 percent committed to just lessoning somebody (not a real word, I know).
Anyway. The Big Mac sucks. The fries are simply crack potatoes. That's just my opinion though. We're all human and I won't think any less if you delight in eating one. Jim Gaffigan explains it better than I can.
Burnt Ends -- Lots and lots of stuff! I'm on a bit of a bender reviewing independent restaurants nearby me here in the Beaches, so check out my latest East End Eats! Here's Mira Mira Diner, or Big Boy's Burrito. There are plenty more to come as well, and please wherever you are, do support your small local spots. This nightmare is especially nightmarish for most of them and every bit of business helps them stay afloat.
Other stuff: my buddy and I will eventually begin our look at the Radiohead albums, but in the meanwhile I've started re-listening to the Pink Floyd catalogue and think I might write a piece ranking those records very soon. The history of that band is endlessly fascinating, tragic, and frustrating. If you're into that kind of stuff, here's a great look at the Rolling Stones' discography written by another excellent and thoughtful writer I hold in extremely high regard.
Pre-Prohibition -- Can you imagine living through this pandemic without booze? Don't lie, many of you can't (I am right here with ya). I found this very interesting article about anti-alcohol laws in late 19th century New York and how establishments wiggled around those rules. It's fascinating stuff, here's the link:
Now... unpleasant reality.
Hey Doug -- you greasy wacky waving inflatable inner tube, I wouldn't rely on you to manage a kid's lemonade stand. The children would be crying within ten minutes and you'd claim they were too hard on you. Your attempt at public sympathy by "tearing" up during a press conference is made so infinitely irrelevant by the concrete fact that you have done nothing to help anyone, beyond your circle of rich corporate donors of course. And still your government will not approve paid sick days for minimum wage workers, the ones forced to keep this economy churning along. You know what? You're a fucking evil prick, you stain of feces smeared against a bus stop. All those tears were just a show, weren't they Dougie? We're not as dumb as you think, you useless sack of petrified potatoes. Remember when you cut healthcare by a shit ton, Dougie? And now you cry like you don't have the infrastructure to make things better? You're a loser. You're a goddamn loser and history will hate your guts you worm. See you next week! Hopefully not though, just resign already you pathetic embarrassment to human decency.
Tuesday Tune -- It certainly isn't the first Bob song I predicted I'd share on this weekly deal, but hey it's a good one and feels fairly relevant. Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only, the irreplaceable... Bob Dylan.
Wow. This was quite an episode. Thank you all who read, commented and or support in every way you do. My final thought on McDonald's reminds me of Principal Skinner when he says "yes that's true! But I was only there to get directions on how to get away from there!" It's the most popular guilty pleasure in the world, and I can respect it at that level. I'm starting a mini-arc with this so stay tuned for next week if you're still here! I hope you are. But until then... be well, take care of each other, tell a belligerent anti-masker to grow a pair... and don't spill the mustard.
Another review, so quickly? Hey, it's like people eat everyday or something.
Big Boy's Burrito is a spot I'd seen in the corner of my eye on those rare occasions I wander up the cliff to the Kingston Road/Victoria Park (like in the Beforetimes to return empties at the Beer Store there because I needed laundry change).
Regardless of that, some time ago I noticed their little shop on the north side of Kingston and filed their existence away for a time I happened to be up there and hungry for a burrito. Well the time finally happened! (obviously) so lets take a look at Big Boy's Burrito.
It's pretty small inside, as most burrito joints are (they can't all be Burrito Boyz on Adelaide with like two dozen tables). There's a key bus stop two doors west and with multiple schools nearby, including the high school Neil McNeil less than five minutes south... Big Boy's has an optimal location for a burrito spot.
I went in, knowing I wanted something with chicken... but unsure precisely what when faced with their multiple choices. The 'Tequila Chicken' option is where I landed ("Huge" size because it's a burrito: go big or... go bigger and go home) pumped full of my usual buritto fixings: lettuce, rice, refried beans, green peppers, sour cream, burrito sauce, cheese if it's on the house (in this case it was), a touch of hot sauce and maybe some cilantro if they've got it (they did). As well they offered nacho chips (yes), which a handful of were crumbled upon the other toppings as a finishing touch.
Once ready, I took it home, snapped that not-amazing photo you see above (the lighting/colour is too faded) and proceeded to chow down. First off, this photo well hides how much this thing was dripping (there's a nice puddle of sauce behind/underneath the right half). It was very saucy, which I like, and every bite had a good enjoyably juicy texture to it. The cheese and the rice were layered together to create a melted-cheesey-rice base for this burrito, which is as tasty as it sounds.
Most of the other elements filled their minor roles admirably: green peppers for some body and slight crunch, lettuce and cilantro to add a fresh taste etc. The nacho chips were an exceptional touch, as while being tucked tight in a hot burrito robbed most of their crispness... they added a nice hint of corn tortilla flavour that I'd argue works just as well as actual corn. The tequila chicken itself though would be what made or broke this...
The tequila sauce itself might not be for everyone but I thought it was quite nice. It arguably dominated a bit too much since any chicken bite was glued to it, just short of the point of overwhelming everything. It's a very salty-sweet sauce, kind of like a thin BBQ mixed with lemon or lime and there is a hint of citrus here. Not my favourite thing ever but it was interesting, intruging as a minimal flavour touch. When it was dripping out and I took a bite of that... kapow! I think this sauce would be very effective with ribs, actually. Something with a smokey taste would compliment this well.
Anyhow, to wrap it all up (see what I did there)... I'd say this was quite good. The place smelled amazing inside, as did my burrito when first unwrapped, and overall there's solid care and quality in ingredients here. They offer a bunch of other items also, like tacos, nachos and... poutine? You don't see a burrito place offer poutine particularly often. Anyhow, I'd recommend them as a good 'B' level burrito option that won't blow your mind but surely won't disappoint.
